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Okay, so I'm at that age where it's really important to start really figuring out what you want to do in life. Seems like everyone is expecting me to have my life all figured out; but I don’t and it feels like people are constantly judging me for it.. I'm a college student who doesn't have a job because I want to focus on school during the semester and actually have a break during my breaks (Winter and Summer) but certain family members (not my mom, thank goodness) keep telling me that I should be doing something; get a job, get an internship. The thing is, I want to use that time to do what I want and figure out who I am and what I want to do. Then I look around at my friends and see them all getting jobs and trying to make money and it makes me feel bad in comparison because I hear these subtle comments that make me keep wondering if I'm just wasting my life..
I've said my whole life that I wanted to be a singer/actress.. but I know that it's a hard profession to get into, you have to start somewhere and put yourself out there; it doesn't just happen overnight. I started trying to make a plan; maybe start on YouTube and do some other job on the side to make money then finally go on auditions; start as an extra and move up. But I don't know what to do. There's no guarantee in the entertainment industry and I know to survive in the world I'll have to make a living doing something but I don't know what I'd do... I don't truly want one of those normal 9 to 5 jobs. I am a psychology major but I don't really want an actual career in it; I just found it incredibly interesting to learn. But when I tell people that, they forever question me; "Why would you waste your time studying something you don't want a career in?" It just feels like every interest I have leads to a lot of judging and uncertainty.
Does anyone else feel like this? Or have you felt like this? What do you do in these situations?
 

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Just FYI, psychology is a good major for many jobs that don't directly have to do with the field of psychology itself... education, HR, any director/manager position, etc.

It really comes down to what you want from your life, as long as you can be self-sustaining doing so. The fact that you're asking this question means that you really feel like you want to be doing more or have more direction in life. That's what matters... not what other people think. The reason those comments from others stick with you is because it speaks to something important in yourself.

In my experience, it really is a good thing to have a solid plan for a practical career that's going to make you enough money to feel stable. It may involve a lot of tedium and detail and un-NF-like activities, but I think you'll feel the best in the long run if you have practical knowledge/ skills. At least that's what I think.

I know some people (in my family) who really couldn't handle traditional 9-to-5 jobs. They ended up kind of living on the edges of society, making enough money to support themselves in a basic sense, but lacking resources, savings, security, etc. I don't know how they really feel about how their lives have turned out... they have their freedom, but I have no idea what they plan to do when they get too old to work...

For most people, a real 9-to-5 job is a reality you have to just live with...at least at first. Build up a resume of real job experience, learn to just tough it out 40 hours a week, just so you know you can do it if you have to. Once you have a solid base, then maybe you can think about less traditional, more free ways to support yourself.
 

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Okay, so I'm at that age where it's really important to start really figuring out what you want to do in life. Seems like everyone is expecting me to have my life all figured out; but I don’t and it feels like people are constantly judging me for it.. I'm a college student who doesn't have a job because I want to focus on school during the semester and actually have a break during my breaks (Winter and Summer) but certain family members (not my mom, thank goodness) keep telling me that I should be doing something; get a job, get an internship. The thing is, I want to use that time to do what I want and figure out who I am and what I want to do. Then I look around at my friends and see them all getting jobs and trying to make money and it makes me feel bad in comparison because I hear these subtle comments that make me keep wondering if I'm just wasting my life..
I've said my whole life that I wanted to be a singer/actress.. but I know that it's a hard profession to get into, you have to start somewhere and put yourself out there; it doesn't just happen overnight. I started trying to make a plan; maybe start on YouTube and do some other job on the side to make money then finally go on auditions; start as an extra and move up. But I don't know what to do. There's no guarantee in the entertainment industry and I know to survive in the world I'll have to make a living doing something but I don't know what I'd do... I don't truly want one of those normal 9 to 5 jobs. I am a psychology major but I don't really want an actual career in it; I just found it incredibly interesting to learn. But when I tell people that, they forever question me; "Why would you waste your time studying something you don't want a career in?" It just feels like every interest I have leads to a lot of judging and uncertainty.
Does anyone else feel like this? Or have you felt like this? What do you do in these situations?
What people are concerned about, or being judgmental about, is your lack of practicality. Practicality is not something that INFJ's excel at, but it's a trait worth nurturing because it will pay off all throughout one's life.

Don't worry about the fact that you are not working while going to college. Most kids used to do that.

What is a concern, however, is that you have no game plan. You chose a Psych major because it was fun and interesting, not because it was of value to you. You want to be a singer or actress, but don't know which, and you didn't major in either music or theater. You're going to graduate with a BA in Psychology, and no job, nothing with which to support yourself -- it's grueling trying to make ends meet on minimum wage jobs.

A singing career or acting career is life consuming, and only a tiny minority of people make it as a full time career. Most of us (I'm a musician) do it on the side. We have regular jobs that pay the bills and support our families, and then we do gigs on the weekends. Do you even know if you have a good enough voice that people would pay to listen to you? Or that you're a good enough actor to get a part? What experience do you have in either one of these fields? Remember that little kids have unrealistic dreams -- they want to be astronauts and firemen and ballerinas, but life is different when you grow up.

Can I use my INFJ spidey sense a little? Everyone matures at a different rate, and guys mature later than gals. If you are like 19 or 20 years old, it may simply be that you are on the immature side, and give it another year or so, and you'll sort these things out.

But start thinking things through seriously. You're an adult. Don't end up being the proverbial millennial without the job who lives with their parents and dreams of being a rock star -- everyone loaths that sort of adult child.

I would suggest starting by seeing your school counselor for vocational counseling. There are tests/inventories you can take that can help give you ideas of possible career paths.
 

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What people are concerned about, or being judgmental about, is your lack of practicality. Practicality is not something that INFJ's excel at, but it's a trait worth nurturing because it will pay off all throughout one's life.

Don't worry about the fact that you are not working while going to college. Most kids used to do that.

What is a concern, however, is that you have no game plan. You chose a Psych major because it was fun and interesting, not because it was of value to you. You want to be a singer or actress, but don't know which, and you didn't major in either music or theater. You're going to graduate with a BA in Psychology, and no job, nothing with which to support yourself -- it's grueling trying to make ends meet on minimum wage jobs.

A singing career or acting career is life consuming, and only a tiny minority of people make it as a full time career. Most of us (I'm a musician) do it on the side. We have regular jobs that pay the bills and support our families, and then we do gigs on the weekends. Do you even know if you have a good enough voice that people would pay to listen to you? Or that you're a good enough actor to get a part? What experience do you have in either one of these fields? Remember that little kids have unrealistic dreams -- they want to be astronauts and firemen and ballerinas, but life is different when you grow up.

Can I use my INFJ spidey sense a little? Everyone matures at a different rate, and guys mature later than gals. If you are like 19 or 20 years old, it may simply be that you are on the immature side, and give it another year or so, and you'll sort these things out.

But start thinking things through seriously. You're an adult. Don't end up being the proverbial millennial without the job who lives with their parents and dreams of being a rock star -- everyone loaths that sort of adult child.

I would suggest starting by seeing your school counselor for vocational counseling. There are tests/inventories you can take that can help give you ideas of possible career paths.
That side of the family who was judging me the most made a lot of comments comparing me to them. It was like "You should not have summers off; I had an internship during the summer therefore you should have an internship." "You should be working" "You shouldn't have breaks" etc. They never truly sat down and asked me what I wanted to do and how I was planning to get there. They just saw that I'm 19 years old with no job and judged accordingly.

And correction; I chose to be a Psych major because I genuinely wanted to learn and I had never gotten the chance before. I believed that it was be useful to know and I genuinely have enjoyed learning it since I've gotten to college.

I want to be BOTH a singer and an actress. I've been singing my whole life. I went to a performing arts high school and was in the vocal department all for years. I also write my own songs, I've taken acting classes and was in a play for about 2 to 3 years (it was not a school production; I was actually the only "child" in the production). I understand that it could be considered "unrealistic" to want to be in these professions. Many children say that they want to be "famous," that they want to sing, that they want to be on TV, etc. I was included in this; I've been saying that I wanted to sing and act my whole life, but unlike many it's not like I'm not willing to plan and work for it. Originally I was planning on majoring in Theater in college and minoring in psychology, but because of the extremely busy schedule I had at my high school (occupying the entire week and weekends my senior year) and I knew that I would not have the time to actually audition for those departments. The reason I stayed a Psychology major is because I actually have enjoyed it; even if I don't truly want to have it as a career, a lot of it is good information to at least know. I've been thinking about possibly minoring in theater and I still continue to write songs. I've even tried my hand at writing my own scripts.

I have really been trying to figure things out and I've been trying to start planning. I have an entire folder on Google Drive dedicated to planning and figuring out my life. I posted on here in hopes of maybe getting some advice or seeing if I'm on the right track. Or at least seeing if I'm alone on this or if anyone else could relate..
 

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That side of the family who was judging me the most made a lot of comments comparing me to them. It was like "You should not have summers off; I had an internship during the summer therefore you should have an internship." "You should be working" "You shouldn't have breaks" etc. They never truly sat down and asked me what I wanted to do and how I was planning to get there. They just saw that I'm 19 years old with no job and judged accordingly.

And correction; I chose to be a Psych major because I genuinely wanted to learn and I had never gotten the chance before. I believed that it was be useful to know and I genuinely have enjoyed learning it since I've gotten to college.

I want to be BOTH a singer and an actress. I've been singing my whole life. I went to a performing arts high school and was in the vocal department all for years. I also write my own songs, I've taken acting classes and was in a play for about 2 to 3 years (it was not a school production; I was actually the only "child" in the production). I understand that it could be considered "unrealistic" to want to be in these professions. Many children say that they want to be "famous," that they want to sing, that they want to be on TV, etc. I was included in this; I've been saying that I wanted to sing and act my whole life, but unlike many it's not like I'm not willing to plan and work for it. Originally I was planning on majoring in Theater in college and minoring in psychology, but because of the extremely busy schedule I had at my high school (occupying the entire week and weekends my senior year) and I knew that I would not have the time to actually audition for those departments. The reason I stayed a Psychology major is because I actually have enjoyed it; even if I don't truly want to have it as a career, a lot of it is good information to at least know. I've been thinking about possibly minoring in theater and I still continue to write songs. I've even tried my hand at writing my own scripts.

I have really been trying to figure things out and I've been trying to start planning. I have an entire folder on Google Drive dedicated to planning and figuring out my life. I posted on here in hopes of maybe getting some advice or seeing if I'm on the right track. Or at least seeing if I'm alone on this or if anyone else could relate..
Sounds like you are organizing and planning which is GREAT!

There is nothing wrong with pursuing singing/acting (musicals?). You should know it costs a lot of money to try and break in. My niece has literally spent tens of thousands of dollars doing demos, advertising costs, having a producer, etc., and she's really professional quality and has a small following. She gets discouraged a lot and usually works some kind of other job on the side while she pursues this career as a song writer. Our whole family supports her, but if it doesn't work out, we will also catch her when she falls. She needs to know that her musical talents are valuable even if she isn't a "rock star." You also need to know that no matter what you do with your talents, whether you use them professionally full time, once in a while, or just for family and friends, you are a gift.

I'm just gonna spout my less than two cents worth now, and you can take it or leave itokay? Just don't take it personally. It's meant to be helpful, so if it's not helpful, just trash it.

Summer vacations are for little kids. When we grow up, part of becoming mature is realizing we have to start being responsible for ourselves. Someone is paying for our tuition, our room, our board, our transportation, our clothing... you get the idea. Ideally, that person should be us. Now, no student can do it all. Most get help from parents, scholarships, loans, and part time jobs. Summer is a great time to get a job to help out. Things you don't want to do because they start bad, bad habits that you will regret later in life:
1. Don't go into more debt during the summer because you want a vacation. Debt will come back to haunt you.
2. Don't sponge off your parents more than you are forced to. Giving you money means they get to boss you around. Cut the umbilical cord.
3. Don't take advantage of the generosity of friends -- it's a good way to lose friends.
I'm not saying you're doing any of those things. I actually don't know much about you. I'm just cautioning you against such things since you mentioned you didn't want to work during the summer months.

I compromised: I took a six hour a day job (preschool assistant) when I was on summer vacation. That gave me a little extra time in the late afternoons and evenings to play around. During the school year, I tutored fellow students in piano, maybe four hours a week, but good money.
 
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Sounds like you are organizing and planning which is GREAT!

There is nothing wrong with pursuing singing/acting (musicals?). You should know it costs a lot of money to try and break in. My niece has literally spent tens of thousands of dollars doing demos, advertising costs, having a producer, etc., and she's really professional quality and has a small following. She gets discouraged a lot and usually works some kind of other job on the side while she pursues this career as a song writer. Our whole family supports her, but if it doesn't work out, we will also catch her when she falls. She needs to know that her musical talents are valuable even if she isn't a "rock star." You also need to know that no matter what you do with your talents, whether you use them professionally full time, once in a while, or just for family and friends, you are a gift.

I'm just gonna spout my less than two cents worth now, and you can take it or leave itokay? Just don't take it personally. It's meant to be helpful, so if it's not helpful, just trash it.

Summer vacations are for little kids. When we grow up, part of becoming mature is realizing we have to start being responsible for ourselves. Someone is paying for our tuition, our room, our board, our transportation, our clothing... you get the idea. Ideally, that person should be us. Now, no student can do it all. Most get help from parents, scholarships, loans, and part time jobs. Summer is a great time to get a job to help out. Things you don't want to do because they start bad, bad habits that you will regret later in life:
1. Don't go into more debt during the summer because you want a vacation. Debt will come back to haunt you.
2. Don't sponge off your parents more than you are forced to. Giving you money means they get to boss you around. Cut the umbilical cord.
3. Don't take advantage of the generosity of friends -- it's a good way to lose friends.
I'm not saying you're doing any of those things. I actually don't know much about you. I'm just cautioning you against such things since you mentioned you didn't want to work during the summer months.

I compromised: I took a six hour a day job (preschool assistant) when I was on summer vacation. That gave me a little extra time in the late afternoons and evenings to play around. During the school year, I tutored fellow students in piano, maybe four hours a week, but good money.
It’s good to hear that you are all so supportive of your niece. And thank you for your advice.
I guess the reason I’m so weird about summers is the fact I never really truly had a “summer vacation” (although I’ve always been more of a “stay-cation” type of person anyway since it’s the only time of year I even get to have the chance to see some of my friends). Growing up, there was always something that my schools would send home for me to do (whether it would be papers that wold be do, or projects, etc.) so when I’d get back to school it never felt like I had a break at all. But despite what I sounded like; it’s not that I just don’t want to work at all. I do want to get a job if I can; find some way to make money to help out my mom because money is tight right now. I just don’t know exactly what kind I could get that I’d do well at so I’m trying to figure that out right now.
 
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