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I'm a pretty happy-go-lucky person, and a lot of the time I have a hard time understanding why some people are miserable when their lives are relatively good. Like my friend who is always depressed every time I talk to her, because her self-worth is completely rapped up in the fact she can't find a boyfriend. She can't seem to see all the good in her life, and she down plays the good by always dwelling on the bad. I'm always trying to 'help' her be happy, and nothing seems to work. (I just look like I'm trying to pry.) I kind of want to tell these type of people to 'get over it', and try to see that their lives are aright, and find their happiness in themselves. I tend to believe that you can decide to be happy. (Unless you have a chemical imbalance, and you suffer from some sort of depression.)

I do understand that it also has to do with confidence and self esteem. Both can be difficult to build, and it can easily be shattered. I get frustrated when I feel like I'm being shallow, and insensitive to their feelings. I have a terrible time sympathizing with my friend and people like her.

Do any of you have this issue?

On A Random Note...

BUBBLES.
 
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I'm a pretty happy-go-lucky person, and a lot of the time I have a hard time understanding why some people are miserable when their lives are relatively good. Like my friend who is always depressed every time I talk to her, because her self-worth is completely rapped up in the fact she can't find a boyfriend. She can't seem to see all the good in her life, and she down plays the good by always dwelling on the bad. I'm always trying to 'help' her be happy, and nothing seems to work. (I just look like I'm trying to pry.) I kind of want to tell these type of people to 'get over it', and try to see that their lives are aright, and find their happiness in themselves. I tend to believe that you can decide to be happy. (Unless you have a chemical imbalance, and you suffer from some sort of depression.)

I do understand that it also has to do with confidence and self esteem. Both can be difficult to build, and it can easily be shattered. I get frustrated when I feel like I'm being shallow, and insensitive to their feelings. I have a terrible time sympathizing with my friend and people like her.

Do any of you have this issue?

On A Random Note...

BUBBLES.
Aww, I thought you posted a link to something involving bubbles. [/unhappy] :tongue:

Truthfully, I come at this from the chemical imbalance side of things, so maybe my approach is skewed from the start (and don't go discounting the chemical factors too much---they're not that rare), but, yeah, the right kind of confidence can work wonders. What keeps me positive is the idea that the happy moments are the exceptional moments you need to put effort into, and the unhappy moments are, well, ordinary, unexceptional. That is to say that they're something I should be prepared for, and when I'm not prepared for them, yeah, it's sometimes kinda tragic, but it's also funny because I'd usually be prepared for them. I've explained this to a few friends, and it's seemed to have done some good.
 

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I wish it was so easy to get over something, but some times it is not. There can be external pressures that are not obvious to you, that are bothering your friend. When some says that they are depressed for "x" reason, it usually is just a factor in a lot of things that are leading to a down time in there life.

Human being are complex creatures, dismissing someones sadness is not fair to them. I think you should just point out the good with quantifying or qualifying the bad, if you are trying to cheer her up. Some time people want empathy over advice.
 
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