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As I continue to accept the nature of my type, INFJ, I am beginning to acknowledge its strengths and weaknesses. As many of you will have read I've had some good times and bad in the last 3 years. I've had many revelations of thought recently which I think play into my need to seek meaning and understanding. But tonight I experienced something that gave me pause.
My wife insulates me from many things. It's true. There are things she simply feels she must bear because she thinks my creativity and my work habits have to be nourished and protected. The practical component is that my odd habits keep us under a roof. But also she just feels compelled to insulate me because she believes we are all happier when the people in the family can be themselves.
Tonight I saw something in her eyes. I could tell that she was weary. The last 3 years have been hard on her too. In all my hand wringing about "meaning" and "self-discovery" I was missing the fact that she was carrying on in a way that shielded me from even more chaos than that which was troubling me so far.
I motioned her to come sit next to me and I put my arm around her. Quietly she began to sob. I knew for a moment that I had to be the one to care for her and not the other way around. I didn't say anything. I just held her until she had let it out. My time to shed a tear or two was later at my desk. But not too much because honestly I have been quite selfish.
I think that every day I am surrounded by people who do not make such protests about the nature of things. They don't make grand pronouncements. With certainty they plod on tilling the soil of daily life. There are times that I wish my nature were more ordinary. There is a time when one must take heart and encouragement in simple things. A time when we have to appreciate people who do what they must each day.
How easy it is to fantasize about ideas or other people in frivolous ways. How difficult it may seem to take delight in the ordinary, or appreciate deeply the simple things that our friends and loved ones dependably do. As I pondered on this for a while I realized there were others who looked after me in this way. My middle daughter is a caregiver to others and to me. She brought me my supper tonight. Did I properly thank her? My art assistant basically looks after me like the apron strings were never untied. And what do I do to deserve such attention? Do I honor it by sulking and day dreaming? There is a time and place for what I do but there is also a natural limit and a mature apprehension of duty that requires acknowledgment of the ordinary and necessary elements of life. Yes a time and a place for everything.
It is good for our souls to see that the simpler things of life are in fact profound. Those who love us and carry on in the mundane affairs of daily existence are not dull. They are noble. And we should esteem them as such.
My wife insulates me from many things. It's true. There are things she simply feels she must bear because she thinks my creativity and my work habits have to be nourished and protected. The practical component is that my odd habits keep us under a roof. But also she just feels compelled to insulate me because she believes we are all happier when the people in the family can be themselves.
Tonight I saw something in her eyes. I could tell that she was weary. The last 3 years have been hard on her too. In all my hand wringing about "meaning" and "self-discovery" I was missing the fact that she was carrying on in a way that shielded me from even more chaos than that which was troubling me so far.
I motioned her to come sit next to me and I put my arm around her. Quietly she began to sob. I knew for a moment that I had to be the one to care for her and not the other way around. I didn't say anything. I just held her until she had let it out. My time to shed a tear or two was later at my desk. But not too much because honestly I have been quite selfish.
I think that every day I am surrounded by people who do not make such protests about the nature of things. They don't make grand pronouncements. With certainty they plod on tilling the soil of daily life. There are times that I wish my nature were more ordinary. There is a time when one must take heart and encouragement in simple things. A time when we have to appreciate people who do what they must each day.
How easy it is to fantasize about ideas or other people in frivolous ways. How difficult it may seem to take delight in the ordinary, or appreciate deeply the simple things that our friends and loved ones dependably do. As I pondered on this for a while I realized there were others who looked after me in this way. My middle daughter is a caregiver to others and to me. She brought me my supper tonight. Did I properly thank her? My art assistant basically looks after me like the apron strings were never untied. And what do I do to deserve such attention? Do I honor it by sulking and day dreaming? There is a time and place for what I do but there is also a natural limit and a mature apprehension of duty that requires acknowledgment of the ordinary and necessary elements of life. Yes a time and a place for everything.
It is good for our souls to see that the simpler things of life are in fact profound. Those who love us and carry on in the mundane affairs of daily existence are not dull. They are noble. And we should esteem them as such.