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We live in a world where it's all about goals. Whether it's working towards a career advancement or improving our weight, we always seem to be looking on to the next, better thing. There's nothing wrong with it however I know I'm guilty of getting absorbed in all the improvements and how things will be better when I've achieved 'X' goal. For example it feels like my whole life has been thinking about how things will be better when I reach college, or uni or when I've graduated and am independent. Or how I'll be happier in a new place or job. Or how I'll be confident when I reach a certain weight or I'll feel comfortable in my own skin when my acne clears up (thanks adult acne.). But the grass isn't always greener. Yes, those advancements through life (college, uni etc) bring more freedom and many positives. But a new job doesn't mean you'll escape old problems. Reaching a goal weight makes you want a new goal. If I ever get clear skin then I'll be happy...until I notice the next thing that's wrong. I know these things, but I don't FEEL them. I still feel impatient and struggle to be happy with what I have.

Anyone got any tips or things they like to do to feel comfortable, content and at peace with themselves?
 

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Great question.

There needs to be more discussions like this one.

I also spent most of my life like that, thinking about the life ahead of me. However I finally saw this year that real happiness and peace comes from accepting everything that you are right NOW. It's not a rat race. Life is this moment right here. I don't want to be anywhere else but here. Easy to say, but hard to truly grasp/understand. Some, sadly, will never grasp this concept in their lifetime.

Growing up, we ask ourselves the wrong one question: What do I want to be when I grow up? But the more important question is WHO am I? Who do I want to be in this world? Who are you without your credentials, your house, your car, your appearance, name, or ethnicity? We focus too much of our energy and time on improving our outside self, not knowing that the inner self is the only self that needs growth. The rest will follow.

Last year, I was depressed every Sunday night, dreading to go to work. I hated not knowing what was going to happen in my future. Then I picked up the book, the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, which taught me that the only moment that you ever have is NOW. Past and Future is just an illusion. I didn't really get the book back then. It was hard to understand. I didn't even finish it.

But the concept is simple. Don't worry about the past - it's over. Don't try to control the future - it cannot be controlled, and by thinking of future, you are not living in the now. You are not really living. If we all focused our energies on the current moment, then we would lose track of time, we would be completely in the zone, and we would flourish in what we do.

But the other difficult part is truly knowing ourselves. To grow up to be who you really are takes courage. It's especially hard in this generation when we have social media and pop culture as such a big distraction. We live under other people's expectations or under the fear of other people's judgments without realizing it. To escape that, and truly see through the facade will be a great feat.

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Our thoughts and our attachment to our thoughts create an ego, a sense of self, separating us from other people. The ego makes us want to be 'better' than other people, to conquer others, to change others, to be jealous of their successes, and much more. The ego will almost never be satisfied, and hence will make us unhappy and suffer. Or worse, make others suffer. That is why we must learn to let it go.

In January, I started a blog to document my thoughts and resolutions, hoping to help others going through the same problems. It's on my profile if you'd ever want to check it out.
 

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Completely agree with anelas on this one :)

Live in the moment and take it as an adventure. Instead of listening to the ego when you interact with the world, listen to voice that's aware of what kind of cool possibilites are available in the given situation(don't let your ego limit you).
 

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We live in a world where it's all about goals. Whether it's working towards a career advancement or improving our weight, we always seem to be looking on to the next, better thing. There's nothing wrong with it however I know I'm guilty of getting absorbed in all the improvements and how things will be better when I've achieved 'X' goal. For example it feels like my whole life has been thinking about how things will be better when I reach college, or uni or when I've graduated and am independent. Or how I'll be happier in a new place or job. Or how I'll be confident when I reach a certain weight or I'll feel comfortable in my own skin when my acne clears up (thanks adult acne.). But the grass isn't always greener. Yes, those advancements through life (college, uni etc) bring more freedom and many positives. But a new job doesn't mean you'll escape old problems. Reaching a goal weight makes you want a new goal. If I ever get clear skin then I'll be happy...until I notice the next thing that's wrong. I know these things, but I don't FEEL them. I still feel impatient and struggle to be happy with what I have.

Anyone got any tips or things they like to do to feel comfortable, content and at peace with themselves?
If you keep shifting your goal post and try to run to the next one you will never truly be satisfied because you will always feel that you're missing something... that your life is imperfect. Yet "perfection" is relative. I can live in a small apartment and think of this as my perfect life, or live in a mansion and wish for a castle.

Sounds to me that you're chasing things thinking that they will satisfy you, and when they don't, you chase something else with the same hope in mind. You're right that the grass isn't always greener. Ultimately, you have to ask yourself "what is it that you truly want?". Find it and be happy with it. All these years I've learned to count the little blessings in life rather than agonise over what I don't have.

I struggled with adult acne too over the last 2yrs and I'm finally seeing major improvements lately. We can exchange some skincare tips if you want. :)
 
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