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MOTM Jan 2014
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This is fantastic! I'm definitely spending tomorrow reading through all those pages, lol.

Um, @Animal, if you don't mind, but could I post the type 4 page on here and highlight what I relate to. I'm having trouble determining my instincts again. Feels like I'm overthinking it all though. " ^ ^ "
 

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MOTM Jan 2014
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11,128 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Copied this here from my typing thread:

I will bold what I feel applies to me, cross out what doesn't, leave what is neutral, and italicize my own commentary and put it in red.

Feel free to do the same! ( @Scarlet Eyes or anyone else)

______

Fine Distinctions – Fours – Tom Condon
Subtypes

Self-Preservation Fours
• Self-Preservation Fours are often risk takers
(I take major risks for the sake of pursuing my dreams, but not for their own sake or the 'thrill')
They take chances to stir up emotional intensity, collect new experiences, play out inner dramas or learn about themselves
(I don't care about collecting new experiences, but I have locked myself in rooms on LSD to do art experiments which would result in me learning about myself. There is no end to what I will do for the sake of learning about myself, expressing myself, etc. It's not about the experiences themselves, unless that experience involves learning more about a guy I'm obsessed with.)
Open advocates of the passionate life
Social and artistic courage; the high side of this subtype brings daring
Healthy Fours with this subtype often feel driven to express an inner vision and find the courage and skill to bring it into the world
(It would be harder for me NOT to express my inner vision and bring my skills to the world, so I'm not sure I'd call it courage.)
Often exceedingly practical in ways that support their creative enterprises
For some their home is an aesthetically soothing refuge, for others home is dank anddepressing, prompting fantasies of beautiful places, a stimulant to envy
May have possessions they keep for a long time that are charged with symbolism and meaning
Environmentally sensitive react strongly to their surroundings; fussy and hard toplease about new purchases
When less healthy, they take self-destructive risks or punish other by hurtingthemselves
• Some can be reckless and openly court disaster while others merely flirt with loss
(This did apply to me during trauma)
• Sometimes the connection to One is extra strong. Fours with this subtype canharangue themselves in a Oneish way and then rebel with reckless behavior
• Some resist the need to make a living; may hobble themselves with mystery ailmentsthat prevent them from having a “straight job”
(This is unfair because I have a chronic illness and can't work much, but I do try to work when I can, so no, I've always been productive & pragmatic about things; my condition is not made up or exaggerated; if anything I play it down. yet someone who doesn't know my background might think this)
• Self-Preservation Fours can be mistaken for counterphobic Sixes
• Some Fours with this subtype struggle with their weight and body image as they relateto identity. Anorexia, overeating or obsessions about food are possible
(Only during trauma-reaction)


Intimate Fours
Intimate Fours love others in a deep way, and possess a sensitive, complex, poetic intelligence about matters of the heart
This is a highly romantic subtype, visible in the realms of romantic poetry, the troubadour tradition and popular music about love, especially in the lyrics ofconfessional singers
(I'm romantic in the sense of being in love with beauty, nature, animals, my own animalism, the arts, music especially, realizing my dreams, my suffering, finding/being with my soulmate, but I felt hopeless about love for a long time.)
Often stay friends with ex-lovers
• A focus on aesthetics; some Intimate Fours are tasteful, flashy dressers
Can harbor a fantasy of perfect union, a redemptive love that will heal the wound of being anunwanted outsider
Prone to jealousy and may be competitive in close relationships as well as generally; can feel like there is only so much love to go around
Want to be Number One in their beloved’s heart or the only person their partner hasever loved; could be jealous of their partner’s past relationships
A stronger connection to Two
May be surprised to discover that their beloved has different needs; they assume mutuality of purpose and are unprepared to negotiate
Also prone to professional envy and try to best others at work
(Yes but only in my field of interest such as music and writing and jobs related to that; not at "normal" jobs that are inconsequential to me. That said I was competitive in college in subjects I cared about.)
May be unable to enjoy their successes without demeaning the achievements of others
Intimate Fours can resemble Eights just as romantic Intimate Eights can resemble Fours
• Can believe that without someone to love they are nothing and life is not worth living
(If I'm not true to myself, life is not worth living. If I don't know what I'm willing to die for, I'm not really alive. It's about my own vision and integrity. The way I conduct myself in love is part of that, but I would not say it isn't worth living if I'm alone - love and obsession is always part of my artistic expression, and if I can't have it in real life I will live vicariously through my art.)
When in love, images of their partner fill the Four’s awareness and attention. The beloved is a muse, necessary to connect Fours to their own life force
(This is basically my life motto. "Without a muse, music is just math.")
• May take no responsibility for their life until Mr. or Ms. Right comes along
(Instead I would build myself up so that I'm more ideal when he does come along.)
There can be a willful immaturity to this stance, a stubborn refusal to face facts nomatter what the practical costs
• Can be love addicts who lack the memory of being loved and believe they are condemned to search the world for something or someone to fill them up
(Sort of. Before I met my soulmate I replayed the memories of my first love over and over. I genuinely loved him, my 8w7 ex.. and I wrote him into characters, I hung on to it)
Some Intimate Fours act markedly seductive to stave off being rejected
May engineer rejection by picking unavailable or inappropriate people to become infatuated with
(More like, the fear of rejection is so strong that it causes me to act in ridiculous ways that result in me getting rejected. :bored:)
A few have ambiguous, confused or exaggerated sexual identities or a chronic identity crisis around their sexuality
(My male alter-ego and his interaction with the female depiction of me may be a good example of this; though it's more of a gender play. The part related to my sexuality is about how he doesn't want to suffer anyone to be with him and feels like he brings destruction to those he loves, whereas she believes in love and finding her soulmate and will pine for him, write music about him and follow him to the ends of the universe. Both consider each other their muse, so that is consistent throughout my identities.)

Social Fours
Healthy Social Fours are unusually independent, self-affirming and sociallycourageous
Willing to take unpopular stands, initiate innovative projects or create institutions thathave humanistic or artistic purposes
They make good teachers especially of art, poetry, spirituality, realms of the heart and the inner life
(I'm a horrible teacher in any formal setting but among friends, sure)
Can be idealistic, drawn to social causes, with a keen sense of justice. The connection to One is especially strong with this subtype
(I have a lot to say about my ideals for the world, and I think through them practically too. But I'm not at all attracted to group causes; it's more that my own vision is something I feel the desire to express in my novels and music. I like to think my political philosophies are consistent with my personal manner of loving, existing, integrity, etc)
• May play the role of the critical outsider, dissatisfied with the norm
(I don't play that role but the norm is definitely pathetic.)
• Prone to shame because they compare themselves with the “normal” world aroundthem, for deviating from imagined group norms
Highly self-critical although their critical voice often belongs to someone else
(This only happens when I'm obsessed with someone who is rejecting me)
• To refute the voice’s criticisms, a Social Four may romanticize her defects orsnobbishly counter-criticize the group
(I am prone to romanticize defects at times but the rest isn't me)
• May seek status or feel driven to achieve to get revenge against those who once laughed at them
• Cover their shame with charm
(People call me charismatic but I don't consider myself charming. Whatever charm I may possess is an accident; a result of me being awkward or too blunt or things like that. When I actually want to charm someone I get too nervous and have no clue what to say. Sometimes my version of charming is challenging someone, nailing them to the wall and showing off, some of which do not go over well)
Social Fours with a Five wing can grow antisocial and depressed, bearing their shame
in solitude, in tension to a group that they keep at a distance

(I like solitude, but this isn't why - it's not about the group - either I'm caught up on a project, sick of the bullshit, or feeling rejected and don't want to be seen)


_____

Four with a Three Wing
Fours with a Three wing can seem like Sevens. Can be cheerful, outgoing, with asense of humor and style
(I don't think I seem like a 7 but others do, apparently)

• May be “counter depressive,” in that they stay busy and on-task to avoid getting bogged down in melancholy
(I do feel my art projects bring me catharsis but it's not about staying randomly busy. Physical activity with music in my headphones does help me process my emotions. I'd rather process them than get away from them or shut them out... every time. That said, if I have stuff I HAVE to do, I'll do it.)
Healthy Fours with this wing marry art and commerce; they are both creative and effective, intuitive and ambitious
(For years I planned to get a tattoo around my wedding ring finger of my symbol - from my own system of symbols - which stood for 'the force that drives you,' meaning - in my case - my own inspiration, music, the arts, self-expression etc. I literally have referred to the arts as my husband.)
• Generally more visual and kinesthetic and have a faster tempo of thought, speech and reaction
• Often materialistic, can have elegant or expensive taste; could prize the rare
(I prize what is meaningful and expresses ME whether it's expensive or rare or not. "Rare" and "expensive" strike me as worldly concerns that are not from my planet.)
Might dress flashy – albeit in a color coordinated way – in contrast to Fours with a Five-wing, who try to be socially invisible
• Can be conscious of wearing a mask to hide their “true” deformed identity
(Not too good at hiding things. My emotions are written on my face. When I have a crush my impulse is to hide it.. but I also don't want to put him off, so I feel like I'm walking a tightrope and I'm vulnerable. When I'm with him, we may connect genuinely, but when attention is drawn to "us" I feel like I'm ignoring an elephant in the room I have no idea what to say; it's just awkward. I am not good at deliberate charm.)
• Some are Three “wannabes”; they imitate Threes to pass in the “normal” world as high-functioning and well-adjusted citizens; underneath they feel like ETs
(I don't feel much need to pass as "normal" but I do want to be successful at my endeavors and I can be bold and aggressive to get what I want. Most people think I'm sweet, but deliberate charm is not my forte; my charm tends to be my honesty, my bizarre insights, intensely complex and deep emotional art projects or my in-depth abilities. I do know my strengths and which ones to show off but charm or being normal is not one)
Can be exceptionally competitive, sometimes more so than Threes
(Only in my fields of interest and men of interest; not over "just anything." I don't need to best others at normal things like beauty or money or possessions or friends; I need to be the absolute best at my own niche and with my own man. And in those scenarios my competitiveness knows no bounds.)
Their pleasure in their own achievements may be tainted by jealousy or motivated by revenge
(The need to outdo my ex and prove to both me, and myself, that I was more a musician than he, more dedicated, could do it without him etc, kept me going for years when I was recording my album and fighting tremendous odds to survive in the city, play shows with my whispery voice etc. I just kept picturing him feeling like he wished he did it first; he wished he pursued his music - he was so talented, but just wasting away. I was so satisfied when I gave him my album and he shook and cried and told me he wished he did it first. I care about him so I also hoped it would inspire him; but I needed to show him who is boss.)
When recognized for what they accomplish, they may feel celebrated for the wrong reasons or dismiss the recognition as not enough
(My mom and my pseudo-manager told me so many times that when people in the audience say I'm great, I should say "thank you" instead of speeches of excuses and disclaimers.)
• Fours with this wing can tend towards melodrama and flamboyance
(Fake drama over nothing bores me.)
• Get lost in fraudulence, play the role of the artist or the authentic, unique one
• Generally more conventional and less original than Fours with a Five wing
• May have bad taste but not know it
(Lol I hope not!)


Four with a Five Wing
• Fours with a Five wing are generally more introverted
When healthy they have a rich, complex creativity
Although somewhat intellectual, they have exceptional depth of feeling and insight
(I don't consider myself intellectual but most people do. The depth of feeling and insight; I've been hearing that since I was a child.)
May be multi-talented in ways that they take for granted
Fours with this wing are often more original and idiosyncratic, unique to the point of eccentric
• Use thinking to suppress or dissociate from their feelings
Often they are more auditory and kinesthetic and less consciously visual
They have a spiritual and aesthetic openness and may also have a marked need to pour themselves into creative or artistic pursuits
(Yes, this need is like breathing to me. I'm dead without it.)
• Try to use the strength of their minds to manage their emotional intensity
(Sort of. I try to use creative expression and other types of power to manage it. Maybe my mind, but I need to think about it.)
• Some are loners who can seem enigmatic or hard to read
(Nope, my every emotion and sub-emotion is splat on my face. As for loner, sometimes. It depends. I have friends but I'm quite independent and willfully autonomous.)
• Externally reserved and internally resonant; when absorbed in a mood they can sit stilland expressionless for long periods of time (hypnotic catalepsy)
(Hmm.. I can sit in a mood for a long time, but I'm not sure if I look expressionless. I feel like people can always tell)
• An “open or closed” quality; after suddenly breaking hours of silence, the Four won’tstop talking
• Fours with this wing will sometimes polarize against their own Three wing, makingThreeness a shadow that they indict in others
(Probably not, I love my vanity. Not sure what this actually means.)
Could see the world as dominated by trashy, materialistic values and pointless hyperactivity – things the Four secretly envies
(I don't envy that stuff. I take Action when something matters to me. That said, I do see the world being dominated by that crap.)
• Some are nondescript and try to be invisible. Consciously decide to venture into theworld
• Some are sedentary and, if not overweight, have no muscle tone
(Only when sick & writing)
Especially prone to feeling alienated and depressed; could isolate themselves
• More likely to argue for their limitations or prove they can’t function in the normal world
(I do feel like I'm too sensitive for this world at times; other times I feel like the world is mine to do what I will with.)
• Might ignore practical matters or unpleasant but necessary chores, citing the strengthof their feelings as an excuse
(I'm not sure - I'd say no but my mother would say yes)
• Can be whiny or have an air of sullen, withdrawn disappointment
(I don't know. People often ask me "What's wrong?")
Prone to sulking and stubborn, passive-aggressive sadness; unusually humorless
(I'm aggressive much more than passive aggressive, and I have a sense of humor, though sometimes people are annoyed that my sense of humor is not present at the time)
Can inhabit a private world of pain and loss or be morbidly in love with death
• Might have a well-developed eye for the grotesque and the gothic
• Like Sixes they can fear taking action; some complain of having little energy


Four’s Connection to One

• A healthy connection to One helps Fours locate and connect to the objective, factual world, independent of their inner feelings
(Feelings are part of reality so I find this distinction nonsensical.)
Helps Fours balance the intensity of their feelings. They think more rationally and keep things in perspective
(I am very calm in a crisis and people are often surprised how rational I can be when it's necessary.)
The connection to One brings discipline and diminishes a Four’s self- indulgence
(Discipline is necessary to express myself and live my dreams; I wouldn't say the satisfaction I get from knowing I'm pouring my blood, sweat and tears into living those dreams is bereft of self indulgence, however.)
Brings problem-solving skills and an unexpected practical streak: Fours can be talented at managing money and handling realistic details
(Always been this way. I don't handle things in a way that makes sense to others but I do handle them, and I've always been good with managing money even when broke as fuck.)
Oneish Fours tend to be idealistic and work hard for what they believe in; morally courageous expressions of principle
(I'm the only one who stands up against a horde around here over many issues. I can lose friends for it, lose fans, etc, but I don't give a fuck because I'd lose MYSELF if I were any other way.)
Contributors rather than complainers, committed to living in and improving an imperfect world
• When Fours are less healthy the connection to One devolves into being critical, faultfinding and nit-picky
• After the perfect union of falling in love the Four can turn critical and disapproving, focusing only on what is missing in his partner’s behavior
May have idealized, romantic dreams for which there are no partners or expect so much of partners that they drive them away
• Self-critical; may criticize themselves in a Oneish voice that speaks only of their Four’s flaws, reinforcing their sense of alienated difference
• Oneish Fours can block themselves creatively or set themselves up to fail becausenothing they produce is up to their own impossibly high standards
• May criticize and tear down others, mainly out of jealousy
(I do this in my song lyrics and characters to the max. Usually if I'm jealous of someone I don't tear them down directly. I do tear down those who piss me off however. There are exceptions though, when I did tear people down out of jealousy..but it's not pervasive)
• Sometimes latch onto a grandiose, obsessive Big Idea or believe they are attuned to Absolute Truth
Idealistic and artistic pretentiousness are possible; could feel they inhabit a lofty plane where their endeavors and aspirations can not be understood by mortals – The GreatArtist Blues
(Yes, my home planet..)
• Black and white thinking with a moral cast
• Self-punitive and pleasure hating, fanaticism and religiosity are possible


Four’s Connection to Two

Fours have a built-in connection to Two. When healthy it brings interpersonal skills and the ability to voluntarily empathize with others
(Sure but I don't think it's voluntary. Empathy is not something I can help.)
• Like Twos, Fours can float over and switch places with others and intuitively sense how they feel. The Four will then filter and interpret other people’s feelings through theFour’s own subjectivity
(I have such a complex emotional map of all my feelings and sub-feelings that I instantly match others' feelings to that map, so I can feel how they feel in the sense that it's something I have also subjectively experienced. This can happen with animals too.)
Twoish Fours can be supportive, generous “foul weather” friends who understand andaccept the pain of others
May volunteer their services to ease suffering
(In fact I prefer being around people who are genuinely suffering rather than playing victim which I have no patience for. Genuine suffering is the heart of life and connects me to the depths of myself. It is something real in a false world. So it's partially selfish.)
• Act upon ideals,
want to make the world a better place
(I can't control the world but I hope that expressing myself will inspire others to do the same.)
• The connection to Two brings the ability to teach or mentor, especially about subjective matters. Can accurately read the nonverbal behavior of others
(I read this stuff very easily but I'm shy to tell anyone; I feel like the level of insight I possess about others' emotions can actually creep people out, so I usually talk about myself and avoid sharing what I observe about theirs. I am mostly focused on myself and my inner world, but this stuff just stands out to me; I can't NOT see it.)
When this connection is less healthy, a Four may compulsively merge with others, especially their pain, as it unconsciously reminds the Four of their own
(With the pain - yes, but only momentarily. Deeper merging, as in experiencing that person's pain as part of myself when they're not there, will only if I envy and obsess over the person.)• May flatter, charm and placate, hoping to mask their sense of defect
(Sometimes if someone is suffering, I actually prefer to show my sense of defect because it makes others feel more comfortable around me.)
Twoish Fours are prone to moody instability; by turns needy and then aggressive
(If I am needy I hide it. I am most prone to withdraw when I feel needy. So yes, but not outwardly needy unless I really trust the person)
• Can put great demands on their relationships and be easily disappointed
• Twoish Fours may flee themselves through codependent service to others
The Four sense of specialness is intensified by Twoish pride
Loud arguments and histrionic dramas are possible
(I'm more prone to withdraw when feeling rejected than act out histrionic dramas)
• Psychosomatic illness and age regression (becoming younger than your years) are stronger tendencies
 

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So I'm having a swell time getting confused over my stackings. The only thing I'm sure of is that I'm not SX-last. But I'm not sure if I really bleed SX for it to be my dom instinct.

(Also, I'm not changing my wing, but I'm highlighting 4w3 points that I deeply relate to. )

Summoning @Animal @Phoenix Virtue @owlet @lets mosey @Barakiel and @Views from Kanto for any input. Take as long as you need to, because it's colossal.

 

Subtypes

Self-Preservation Fours

• Self-Preservation Fours are often risk takers I'm willing to take risks that serve a bigger purpose, not just for the thrill and fun of it.
They take chances to stir up emotional intensity, collect new experiences, play out inner dramas or learn about themselves Oh god, I definitely play out inner dramas to learn more about myself. It's introspection with a twist after all. And I do take opportunities to stir up emotional intensity as well. But on one condition. I usually do this privately so as not to hurt others. And to not be seen as some kind of overactive drama queen. Best to do it with subtlety.
• Open advocates of the passionate life
• Social and artistic courage; the high side of this subtype brings daring
• Healthy Fours with this subtype often feel driven to express an inner vision and find the courage and skill to bring it into the world
• Often exceedingly practical in ways that support their creative enterprises
For some their home is an aesthetically soothing refuge, for others home is dank and depressing, if someone said my room was dank, I'd take that as a compliment xD prompting fantasies of beautiful places, a stimulant to envy
May have possessions they keep for a long time that are charged with symbolism and meaning
Environmentally sensitive react strongly to their surroundings; fussy and hard to please about new purchases
• When less healthy, they take self-destructive risks or punish other by hurting themselves NO.

• Some can be reckless and openly court disaster while others merely flirt with loss
Sometimes the connection to One is extra strong. Fours with this subtype can harangue themselves in a Oneish way and then rebel with reckless behavior Had fantasies about it, never actually rebelled against others. At least, not in the obvious ways.

• Some resist the need to make a living; may hobble themselves with mystery ailments that prevent them from having a “straight job” It's not exactly a mystery ailment, but my condition does make it more difficult to handle physically strenuous jobs. Probably why I haven't been motivated to find a part-time job lately.
• Self-Preservation Fours can be mistaken for counterphobic Sixes
Some Fours with this subtype struggle with their weight and body image as they relate to identity. Anorexia, overeating or obsessions about food are possible Sort of. I did the exact opposite of gluttony in which I restricted the amount of food I ate so as to test my need for sustenance. I used to feel above others for not needing as much food to satisfy myself. Also, I have a habit of barely eating in public, especially with large amounts of casual acquaintances, like classmates and distant family members. Something about the charged atmosphere ignites my self-consciousness. I don't feel comfortable with the notion that others are watching me eat. Then I pig out when I go to the safety of my own home. Guess I subconsciously think of eating as something pretty personal to me.

Intimate Fours

Intimate Fours love others in a deep way, and possess a sensitive, complex, poetic intelligence about matters of the heart
This is a highly romantic subtype, visible in the realms of romantic poetry, the troubadour tradition and popular music about love, especially in the lyrics of confessional singers

Often stay friends with ex-lovers Scratch that with people who used to crush on me. After I withdraw from them for some time, I make the effort to reconnect bit by bit. Same as with my crushes. Then again, I never actually tell them my true feelings.
A focus on aesthetics; some Intimate Fours are tasteful, flashy dressers • Can harbor a fantasy of perfect union, a redemptive love that will heal the wound of being an unwanted outsider
Prone to jealousy and may be competitive in close relationships as well as generally; can feel like there is only so much love to go around
Want to be Number One in their beloved’s heart or the only person their partner has ever loved; could be jealous of their partner’s past relationships Guilty as charged. I know that it makes no sense to feel that desire, but I just can't help it.
• A stronger connection to Two Frankly, I need to strengthen my line to Two.
• May be surprised to discover that their beloved has different needs; they assume mutuality of purpose and are unprepared to negotiate
Also prone to professional envy and try to best others at work I want to highlight this a million times.
May be unable to enjoy their successes without demeaning the achievements of others Ditto as well.
• Intimate Fours can resemble Eights just as romantic Intimate Eights can resemble Fours
• Can believe that without someone to love they are nothing and life is not worth living

When in love, images of their partner fill the Four’s awareness and attention. The beloved is a muse, necessary to connect Fours to their own life force
Need to bold this a million times also. That may be why my motto is, "Life's only interesting when you have something to obsess about."
• May take no responsibility for their life until Mr. or Ms. Right comes along
• There can be a willful immaturity to this stance, a stubborn refusal to face facts no matter what the practical costs
• Can be love addicts who lack the memory of being loved and believe they are condemned to search the world for something or someone to fill them up It's almost like these points are reading my mind.
Some Intimate Fours act markedly seductive to stave off being rejected • May engineer rejection by picking unavailable or inappropriate people to become infatuated with
A few have ambiguous, confused or exaggerated sexual identities or a chronic identity crisis around their sexuality

Social Fours

Healthy Social Fours are unusually independent, self-affirming and socially courageous
• Willing to take unpopular stands, initiate innovative projects or create institutions that have humanistic or artistic purposes
• They make good teachers especially of art, poetry, spirituality, realms of the heart and the inner life The one career I'll never take up. xD
• Can be idealistic, drawn to social causes, with a keen sense of justice. The connection to One is especially strong with this subtype
• May play the role of the critical outsider, dissatisfied with the norm
• Prone to shame because they compare themselves with the “normal” world around them, for deviating from imagined group norms
Highly self-critical although their critical voice often belongs to someone else
To refute the voice’s criticisms, a Social Four may romanticize her defects or snobbishly counter-criticize the group
May seek status or feel driven to achieve to get revenge against those who once laughed at them Hmm, I had fantasies about this when I cared about others' opinions. Thought this was a 3 trait itself.
• Cover their shame with charm

Social Fours with a Five wing can grow antisocial and depressed, bearing their shame in solitude, in tension to a group that they keep at a distance Definitely not one of my best moments. Especially if it was a group I actually enjoyed being in.

Four with a Three Wing

Fours with a Three wing can seem like Sevens. Can be cheerful, outgoing, with a sense of humor and style @nburns, Maybe that's why you saw me as a Seven? :wink:
May be “counter depressive,” in that they stay busy and on-task to avoid getting bogged down in melancholy I'm also guilty of committing vice versa. Such as feeling too overwhelmed by my own melancholy to actually do something productive.
• Healthy Fours with this wing marry art and commerce; they are both creative and effective, intuitive and ambitious
Generally more visual and kinesthetic and have a faster tempo of thought, speech and reaction
• Often materialistic, can have elegant or expensive taste; could prize the rare
• Might dress flashy – albeit in a color coordinated way – in contrast to Fours with a Five wing, who try to be socially invisible
Can be conscious of wearing a mask to hide their “true” deformed identity This mostly happens in online settings. My best online personas conveyed more of my ideal self, which seemed to attract a lot of people. But at the same time, I felt that they were only intrigued by my image and not for who I am. I thought that if I did show them more of my actual self, they wouldn't see me as interesting as before.
• Some are Three “wannabes”; they imitate Threes to pass in the “normal” world as high-functioning and well-adjusted citizens; underneath they feel like ETsAnd these are the times where I wonder if switching to 3w4 would make me more confident and outgoing.
Can be exceptionally competitive, sometimes more so than Threes
Their pleasure in their own achievements may be tainted by jealousy or motivated by revenge Pretend this is bolded a million times.
When recognized for what they accomplish, they may feel celebrated for the wrong reasons or dismiss the recognition as not enough
• Fours with this wing can tend towards melodrama and flamboyance
• Get lost in fraudulence, play the role of the artist or the authentic, unique one
• Generally more conventional and less original than Fours with a Five wing
• May have bad taste but not know it OK then. :laughing:

Four with a Five Wing

• Fours with a Five wing are generally more introverted

• When healthy they have a rich, complex creativity
• Although somewhat intellectual, they have exceptional depth of feeling and insight
• May be multi-talented in ways that they take for granted
• Fours with this wing are often more original and idiosyncratic, unique to the point of eccentric
• Use thinking to suppress or dissociate from their feelings
• Often they are more auditory and kinesthetic and less consciously visual
• They have a spiritual and aesthetic openness and may also have a marked need to pour themselves into creative or artistic pursuits
• Try to use the strength of their minds to manage their emotional intensity Maybe that's why I typed as a 5w4.
• Some are loners who can seem enigmatic or hard to read
Externally reserved and internally resonant; when absorbed in a mood they can sit still and expressionless for long periods of time (hypnotic catalepsy) What the hell, this actually has a name. I did that three times today.
• An “open or closed” quality; after suddenly breaking hours of silence, the Four won’t stop talking
• Fours with this wing will sometimes polarize against their own Three wing, making Threeness a shadow that they indict in others
• Could see the world as dominated by trashy, materialistic values and pointless hyperactivity – things the Four secretly envies Sometimes I wish to be above all that, but I can't help but envy materialism because it seems to make others happy. Yet, looks are deceiving.
• Some are nondescript and try to be invisible. Consciously decide to venture into the world
• Some are sedentary and, if not overweight, have no muscle tone
• Especially prone to feeling alienated and depressed; could isolate themselves
• More likely to argue for their limitations or prove they can’t function in the normal world
• Might ignore practical matters or unpleasant but necessary chores, citing the strength of their feelings as an excuse
• Can be whiny or have an air of sullen, withdrawn disappointment
• Prone to sulking and stubborn, passive-aggressive sadness; unusually humorless
• Can inhabit a private world of pain and loss or be morbidly in love with death
• Might have a well-developed eye for the grotesque and the gothic I gravitate towards these, but I'm not a fan of calling them either grotesque or Gothic. I feel that it takes away the true effect and meaning if you give it a name.

• Like Sixes they can fear taking action; some complain of having little energy

Four’s Connection to One

• A healthy connection to One helps Fours locate and connect to the objective, factual world, independent of their inner feelings
• Helps Fours balance the intensity of their feelings. They think more rationally and keep things in perspective


• The connection to One brings discipline and diminishes a Four’s self-indulgence
• Brings problem-solving skills and an unexpected practical streak: Fours can be talented at managing money and handling realistic details
• Oneish Fours tend to be idealistic and work hard for what they believe in; morally courageous expressions of principle
• Contributors rather than complainers, committed to living in and improving an imperfect world
• When Fours are less healthy the connection to One devolves into being critical, fault finding and nit-picky
• After the perfect union of falling in love the Four can turn critical and disapproving, focusing only on what is missing in his partner’s behavior Or what they have that I don't.
• May have idealized, romantic dreams for which there are no partners or expect so much of partners that they drive them away
• Self-critical; may criticize themselves in a Oneish voice that speaks only of their Four’s flaws, reinforcing their sense of alienated difference
• Oneish Fours can block themselves creatively or set themselves up to fail because nothing they produce is up to their own impossibly high standards This is the main reason why I don't work at my creative pursuits more often.
• May criticize and tear down others, mainly out of jealousy
• Sometimes latch onto a grandiose, obsessive Big Idea or believe they are attuned to Absolute Truth I thought this was Ni, but it still applies to me.
• Idealistic and artistic pretentiousness are possible; could feel they inhabit a lofty plane where their endeavors and aspirations can not be understood by mortals – The Great Artist Blues Wow, this really hits home. Especially if I show others my work and they give a half-hearted response to it. That usually brings me down.
• Black and white thinking with a moral cast
Self-punitive and pleasure hating, fanaticism and religiosity are possible Once again: Guilty. As. Charged.

Four’s Connection to Two

• Fours have a built-in connection to Two. When healthy it brings interpersonal skills and the ability to voluntarily empathize with others
Like Twos, Fours can float over and switch places with others and intuitively sense how they feel. The Four will then filter and interpret other people’s feelings through the Four’s own subjectivity
• Twoish Fours can be supportive, generous “foul weather” friends who understand and accept the pain of others
• May volunteer their services to ease suffering
• Act upon ideals, want to make the world a better place
• The connection to Two brings the ability to teach or mentor, especially about subjective matters. Can accurately read the nonverbal behavior of others
When this connection is less healthy, a Four may compulsively merge with others, especially their pain, as it unconsciously reminds the Four of their own Done this with both real people and characters.
• May flatter, charm and placate, hoping to mask their sense of defect
Twoish Fours are prone to moody instability; by turns needy and then aggressive
• Can put great demands on their relationships and be easily disappointed • Twoish Fours may flee themselves through codependent service to others
The Four sense of specialness is intensified by Twoish pride
• Loud arguments and histrionic dramas are possible
• Psychosomatic illness and age regression (becoming younger than your years) are stronger tendencies That's something I'm experiencing lately. Maybe I'm just a late-bloomer, but I'm having more urges to get out, be a bit more rebellious, or just throw away all the preconceptions people have of me.
 

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Queen of Hearts
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@Scarlet Eyes my instinct is sp/sx but I don't feel confident in that (less of an instinct and more of a gander, which might just be based on what I've heard other people gandering about you)

I'm really confused about the instincts right now and always so I'm not sure.

I was actually just working on...doing all of them :shocked:
When I'm finished I'll try to give a better response and see if I can come up with anything substantial
 

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Lotus Jester
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@Scarlet Eyes my instinct is sp/sx but I don't feel confident in that (less of an instinct and more of a gander, which might just be based on what I've heard other people gandering about you)

I'm really confused about the instincts right now and always so I'm not sure.

I was actually just working on...doing all of them :shocked:
When I'm finished I'll try to give a better response and see if I can come up with anything substantial
OK, I appreciate the thought. :peaceful: Although, what exactly have people been gandering about me? :shocked:
 

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Queen of Hearts
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OK, I appreciate the thought. :peaceful: Although, what exactly have people been gandering about me? :shocked:
haha you've been there! this isn't behind your back :laughing:

I think I've mainly seen suggestions of sp for you, but I could be misremembering.
 

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Queen of Hearts
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edit: just posting 1 and 2; this is exhausting


Ok, doing this for all of them, it's gonna be massive so I don't expect anyone to read through it; honestly I just finished a big project and now I'm just trying to stay busy until I find a new one, so I don't become a lazy bum by accident :D

But if anyone skims, opinions on instincts are welcome!

Bold - relate strongly, statement can apply unequivocally to me in the way it is meant
Italic - can relate but there is some qualm
Normal text - Neutral statement, could apply or not, or unknown
Strikethrough - anti-relate, definitively not true about me
Comments will be in color. I will try to explain everything I bold or italicize

One
 


Self Preservation Ones

• Talented at getting things done and attending to practical detail.
• Ultra-reliable; do what they say they will on time.
• Tend towards worry and negative anticipation about material well being.
• Can worry about money; “penny-wise and pound- foolish.” I tend to have difficulty remembering money as a concern. Occasionally I will over-correct and become Very Responsible but it always feels like a game and does not last long.
• A petty, finicky quality; may magnify small tasks into large problems.
• Prone to a mild form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
In a sense, yes. In school for instance, I would throw away page upon page trying to get the title of a paper just right - perfect handwriting, totally straight line, etc. But I am usually more of the person telling others not to stress about the details. I do tend towards OCD, not sure if clinically or not. As a preteen I seemed to have some sort of OCD - mostly compulsions to keep numbers equal - though I remember going to a psychiatrist who said I did not have OCD. But yes that is a way I can veer.
• Distorted sense of responsibility; feel like they have to make the sun come up in the morning.
• Can seem like anxious Sixes but they lack a Six’s underlying core of helpless fear.Ones don’t doubt their capacity to take action.

• Could believe that everything has to be just right to avert disaster. Only in a superstitious way, like on New Year,, New Year's Day has to be perfect or the whole year is a washout! But not really
• May have a sense of being undeserving or inadequate; compensate with worry.
• If something goes wrong it will painfully confirm their lack of worth.


Intimate Ones

• Able to bring out the best in people.
• Personable, with good social skills.
I have never felt in control of social situations, except with close friends, but I would not say I bring out the best in them. I tend to aggravate people
• Motivated by a desire to improve for a mate. Yes, this is my life. Most of my focus throughout my life has been improving with the intention of becoming good enough to marry, or to have people fall in love with me, or to give the honor to whoever I fall in love with, to be loved by someone really remarkable. There are other reasons for improvement - the sake of it - but that was always the real core of it, even if I did not acknowledge it
• Can feel like relationships are exercises in mutual improvement.
• More vain, especially with a Two wing; aware of how they look.
• Idealize their beloved and have high expectations in close relationships. Probably
• Grow up in atmospheres of criticism and high standards. Not really
• Sensitive to the possibility of being rejected by intimates.
• If a beloved is even slightly critical the One hears the criticism as though through a megaphone.

• Distinct capacity for possessive jealousy.Capacity - yes, but generally not reality
• May have conflicts around sexuality; might feel inhibited and yet be attracted to wild sin. I would not really say 'conflicts', as I am internally quite clear on my standards of sexual morality, which are rightfully strict, but it is true that I have always found this a source of internal tension and guilt. I feel that if my morality were taken away I would be a very depraved creature indeed, and as a result have often longed for this. As a teen I was quite fascinated with werewolves, for this reason. However, I also feel that my morality has protected me, and I am grateful to that, I really don't know where I'd be without it.

In my [literal] dreams I am always a prostitute. lol

Social Ones

• Genuinely self-sacrificing, can work tirelessly for the good of others and enjoy putting their ideals into action. I hope so! it's not my defining quality tho
• Forgive the world for being flawed but still try to improve it.
• Believe they are representatives of a larger social order or tradition.
• Preoccupied with rules and how they apply to (other) people’s behavior.
• Can apply the same rigid standards to each new situation; unconsciously ask themselves, “What is the rule?” rather than “What is necessary or sensible?” Yeah, I feel uncomfortable winging it. Used to pore over etiquette books trying to memorize every rule for every possible situation I might find myself in. Wanted to be a person who Knew the Rules
• Can become preachy, won’t change their mind and won’t change the subject.
• Escape themselves by focusing on things that are essentially none of their business i.e. What others are doing wrong, issues of public morality.I focus on myself and others
• Especially prone to black and white thinking; can cling to wrong-headed certainty to avoid the unknown.
• Can be hypocritical; “Do as I say not as I do.” I have never understood why this is hypocritical; this is essentially saying 'follow this principle, don't follow this example. Holding a principle doesn't mean you're always going to stick to it and failing a principle doesn't mean it's wrong.
• May resist modernity, and fail “on principle” to adapt to new trends or realities.
• Consider being rigid, inflexible and closed a virtue, proof that they are living by an infallible moral or religious code.
• Can value structures, systems and rules; can be impersonal and dictatorial in positions of power.
• Most schools of religious and political fundamentalism are ruled by Social Oneness.



Two

 

Self Preservation Twos

• Healthy Self-preservation Twos are often more in touch with how they feel and what they want. I never don't know how I feel or what I want
• Have the courage and social skills to express their preferences.
• Appropriately “self-referenced” – know what they want and yet include the wishes of others. I don't know what this means
• Can be unusually materialistic.
• Highly effective; in touch with the forceful high side of Eight.
• Take good care of themselves but are equally concerned about friends and family.
• Can begin to feel burdened with the needs of others and want recognition and pampering in return.
• Can actively worry about the health of others while neglecting their own.


I think this is partly low Si but thinking about health, 'pampering', etc. is very uncomfortable and unnatural to me
• Believe: “I do so much for everyone – I deserve to be treated as someone special.” Over estimate their contribution and what they are due for it. I think I've seen this from myself at times
• Can display a striking sense of entitlement as if the shame button has been removed from their brains. Self-important, diva-like behavior possible.I don't think so but probably I wouldn't know
• Can drop more easily to the aggressive low side of Eight and are sometimes mistaken for Eights.I do go to Eight pretty easily. But I don't think anyone would mistake me for an Eight. When I showed my best friend the Enneagram she at first typed me as Eight but that was just after a glance at a couple pages.
• More prone to melancholy martyrdom and psychosomatic illness than the other Two subtypes.Melancholy, yes, but I don't play martyr. I'm more choleric than melancholic anyway; I might feel melancholy inside and I relate to it as a sensation almost but if I'm upset I'll lash out somewhere or do something active
• Illness gets them attention and gives them permission to self-care and may also be away to indirectly express anger by making those who care about them suffer. No, but when I was younger I loved the whole concept of being sick, I always made heroines in my story have some illness; I really associated it with some transcendant state I think, but it was also because of the attention in a way and the...weakness, that was really interesting to me
• Hidden agendas; may set events in motion involving other people which ultimately lead to the Two getting what he/she wants.
I don't think of myself as properly manipulative, but in real time this ends up happening, somehow

Intimate Twos

• Highly emotionally intelligent and capable of deep personal intimacy.I hope so!
• Have superb social skills; able to make direct, empathetic contact with others on a one-to-one basis.
• Can be excellent biographers, therapists, counselors; excel in occupations that depend on effectively entering another individual’s subjective reality.
I have terrible social skills, but I am surprisingly good at entering subjective realities. For a while I worked with a woman with Alzheimer's and while that's not my dream job I was I think good at accepting, understanding, and even partially entering her view of time. And I'm good at talking to children, people with mental disabilities, etc., understanding and not patronizing them, because I'm able to step into their frame of mind and be there with them.
Generous, sensitive and thoughtful towards their beloved.
• Especially good at reading and responding to nonverbal behavior. Not really - I'm a very verbal person, verbally based
• Can see beyond roles and contexts to identify someone’s essential humanity.
• Tend to act seductive and aggressive by turns. Depending on what this means, yes. I alternate I think between trying to attract attention in normal nice ways and then getting frustrated and just trying to claw through to the person. And in my mind fighting and arguing leads to emotionally closeness, so
• Generally confuse being sexually desirable with being loved. Yes, it was a big realization for me when I realized there was a difference, not theoretically, that's obvious, but when it applies to me
• Can seem receptively interested in others, offering inviting touches while oozing a combination of charm and sexuality. No, I'm super awkward and weird about physical contact
• May harbor a melancholy desire for total enmeshed connection with another person;related to the low side of Four.
• Like Fours, Intimate Twos may be attracted to distant or unavailable partners
; this replicates a distant relationship with a parent.
• Offer their beloved an intensely focused interest, an interest they secretly want to have returned. I try to seem detached
• If someone resists an Intimate Two’s drive to intimacy the Two may then push and challenge, trying to find a way around their beloved’s objection to becoming fully united.If this fails, the Two may grow angry or even physically violent.
This is true about me, but I wouldn't exactly say this has happened, but it could
• Intimate Twos can be “processing queens” and “processing kings,” people who are so focused on their relationships that they need to talk about, analyze and understand any barriers to intimacy. Not sure what this means, but perhaps, I analyze and such
• Sometimes proud of their seductive powers and the status of those they seduce.Some get hooked on the challenge of seduction and on winning people over. I would if I had seductive powers
• Once a catch is secured they may lose interest; can feel closer to people they don’t know well.
• Some Intimate Twos are highly sexual, Others are not but still role-play an image of sexuality that they are disconnected from.
idk what is meant by highly sexual

Social Twos

• Have a strong sense of mission about helping others and will work assiduously to that end. in the past I think
• Attempt the ambitious and the difficult and succeed at it. ditto
• Can be exceptionally persuasive and unstoppable.
• Especially good at moving through various stratas of society; able to switch communication styles and social modes in the service of getting things done. This is a skill I've tried to cultivate but I've no idea if this has been a success; I barely see other people anymore
• Will take stands on unpopular issues even if those positions contradict their own beliefs or politics.
• Might function at the center of a group, be the lynch-pin person upon whom everyone depends, drawing around them “a we of me.”

• Other Social Twos act out their ambition through their affiliations with accomplished or powerful people.
• Might marry someone influential and concentrate their energies on fulfilling the spouse’s ambitions. Or groom their children to become achievers.
• Stage mothers and political spouses are possible roles.
• Generally confuse being recognized with being loved.
• Especially prone to conflicts between fulfilling the group’s needs versus taking care of themselves.
• Can also be martyrs, blaming others for their unhappy sacrifices or for not living up to the Two’s expectations.
• Twos with this subtype are easy to confuse with Threes especially when they have aThree wing.
• Their ambition becomes grandiose and stems from feeling unworthy and unfulfilled.
• Unlike Intimate Twos who send their needs over to live in one specific person, Social Twos send a sliver of themselves over to live in each individual member of their chosen group.



 

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Queen of Hearts
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17,935 Posts
3

 

Self Preservation Threes

• Self Preservation Threes are unusually capable, organized and efficient.
• Especially good at discovering the best strategy for getting a job done; get from point A to point B as quickly and effectively as possible.
• Think of Olympic athletes who are utterly focused on goals and make themselves into achievement machines.
• This is subtype and personality style of uber athletes like Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong.
• Often have a prodigious work ethic.
• Don’t have to have a massive amount of money, just enough according to how they have defined security.
• Taking material care of their immediate family is high on their list of priorities and they may do a better job at this than they realize.
]
• Tend to compete with themselves, try to break their own record rather than trying to out do their next door neighbor. In a way
• Preoccupied with acquiring material security as a way to calm their anxieties about survival.
• May have a poverty model; could have grown up poor and insecure; could amass a fortune and yet harbor a morbid fear of dying broke.

• This subtype has a stronger connection to Six; worry that their success is shaky.
• May see the world as a harsh, dog-eat-dog place.sometimes this feels overwhelming; I can't believe how difficult it is to get anything done
• Can’t stop working, addicted to activity, continuously create new challenges. Sorta, I can get into moods where this is the case, but it doesn't happen nearly enough
• Might use drugs and alcohol to take edge off their fears; prone to mid-life health crises. I don't think so but I'll have to wait and see


Intimate Threes

• Healthy Intimate Threes are deft at wearing masks, choosing the roles they play either for the benefit of others or in the service of getting things done. sometimes
• Know the difference between who they really are and who they seem to be. Yes, but sometimes I rely on other people to tell me who I am, but there's still always an idea of 'but the real me is'
• Tuned to this difference in others and have a sensitive sympathy for the human frailties that we hide behind roles and posturing.
• Charming, have a sense of humor about themselves; exceptionally good mentors.
• Especially prone to persona – playing a role of one’s self.
• Mask themselves with an image of an appealing man or woman.

• Their image is based on community or cultural ideals of masculinity or femininity or matching a partner’s definition of an ideal mate. I think I'm very feminine naturally but I match society's ideals and I focus on 'partner's definition' I guess
• Can be sexual imposters, faking intimacy; even when they are naked they are not naked. probably the opposite
• Sometimes an Intimate Three’s persona is not based on overt sexual desirability but some other criteria, ie being interesting or smart. I think so a bit
• They may be drawn to plastic surgery; keep their bodies fit and attractive.
• Intimate Threes who need to be seen as desirable are hiding an exact opposite part of themselves, a self who feels anything but attractive.
• His or her relationships could be short; might cycle through many partners, jettisoning each when they get too close to the truth.
• Can be distinctly exhibitionistic.



Social Threes

• Healthy Social Threes are often status-conscious but clear-eyed about the true value of life’s prizes and awards
• Especially aware of the emptiness of success for its own sake and start to want more out of life..
I often want success without valuing it, but I might have an exaggerated idea of what that means
• Skilled networkers who use their reputations and social contacts for humanitarian ends, for example, using their power and prestige to benefit a charity.
• Brings the leadership qualities; good at teaching groups of people or being the head coach of a team effort.
• Reward and inspire those they lead; generous about giving credit.
• Recognize that their own accomplishments partly rest on the efforts of others.
• Unself-conscious examples of what they preach and teach.
• Can display a seamless graceful merging of self and role and can be at their most authentic when wearing a mask.

• Often invent themselves by consciously modeling others of a desired social or economic standing. Eh...here and there
• When less healthy, may directly confuse their inner self with the outer world’s badges,honors and totems.
• Measure themselves by money, position, awards or results; strive to match group standards and have the right credentials.
• Exceptionally worried about what other people think of them.
• Materialistic, want to own the best brands and be identified with those products; the right possessions give the Three rub-off status. I'm not really materialistic but I like seeming to be a fountain of wealth, which includes materials and name brands
• Prone to hypocrisy; deny qualities or behaviors that contradict their self-image.
• Some lead reckless double lives, implicitly daring the world to discover their secrets.
• Can be self-sabotaging. If they were born poor and became rich they might bring themselves back down; for example, going bankrupt or getting caught with false credentials in a way that ruins their status and reputation.



4: [did on another thread]

 


Self-Preservation Fours

• Self-Preservation Fours are often risk takers People often think of me as a risk taker because of things like...moving to another country, or idk some really trivial things but I rarely really take risks, I think
• They take chances to stir up emotional intensity, collect new experiences, play out inner dramas or learn about themselves
• Open advocates of the passionate life At heart I'm a Marianne Dashwood but I prefer to seem sensible
• Social and artistic courage; the high side of this subtype brings daring
• Healthy Fours with this subtype often feel driven to express an inner vision and find the courage and skill to bring it into the world
• Often exceedingly practical in ways that support their creative enterprises I can be practical for other people sometimes with these things. I'm a good advisor
• For some their home is an aesthetically soothing refuge, for others home is dank and depressing, prompting fantasies of beautiful places, a stimulant to envy My home should prompt fantasies of beautiful places by actually being a beautiful place
• May have possessions they keep for a long time that are charged with symbolism and meaning
Literally everything I have has some story behind it...which I probably made up at some point, sometimes just because it needed a story lol
• Environmentally sensitive react strongly to their surroundings; fussy and hard to please about new purchases
• When less healthy, they take self-destructive risks or punish other by hurting themselves
• Some can be reckless and openly court disaster while others merely flirt with loss
• Sometimes the connection to One is extra strong. Fours with this subtype can harangue themselves in a Oneish way and then rebel with reckless behavior
• Some resist the need to make a living; may hobble themselves with mystery ailments that prevent them from having a “straight job”
• Self-Preservation Fours can be mistaken for counterphobic Sixes
• Some Fours with this subtype struggle with their weight and body image as they relate to identity. Anorexia, overeating or obsessions about food are possible

I have a really weird, horrible relationship with diet. Though I don't think anorexia would really be possible for me, at previous points in my life I got really close to eating disorder levels of things, I know I fainted from lack of food at least twice and would do strange things like not drink water to try to keep my 'official' weight at the doctor's down

And obviously it's tied to my identity, I think I have this idea of the mythical future where I've lost the exact right amount of weight and my life actually begins

Intimate Fours

• Intimate Fours love others in a deep way, and possess a sensitive, complex, poetic intelligence about matters of the heart
• This is a highly romantic subtype, visible in the realms of romantic poetry, the troubadour tradition and popular music about love
, especially in the lyrics of confessional singers
• Often stay friends with ex-lovers difficult to imagine, I don't know though
• A focus on aesthetics; some Intimate Fours are tasteful, flashy dressers
• Can harbor afantasy of perfect union, a redemptive love that will heal the wound of being an unwanted outsider idk about 'outsider', I always felt a bit like an outsider but never tied that to the would love would heal
• Prone to jealousy and may be competitive in close relationships as well as generally; can feel like there is only so much love to go around
• Want to be Number One in their beloved’s heart or the only person their partner has ever loved; could be jealous of their partner’s past relationships
• A stronger connection to Two

• May be surprised to discover that their beloved has different needs; they assume mutuality of purpose and are unprepared to negotiate isn't this kinda true of everyone though?
• Also prone to professional envy and try to best others at work for fun
• May be unable to enjoy their successes without demeaning the achievements of others Not really; I like having a clique of equally awesome people
• Intimate Fours can resemble Eights just as romantic Intimate Eights can resemble Fours
• Can believe that without someone to love they are nothing and life is not worth living
• When in love, images of their partner fill the Four’s awareness and attention. The beloved is a muse, necessary to connect Fours to their own life force
• May take no responsibility for their life until Mr. or Ms. Right comes along
• There can be a willful immaturity to this stance, a stubborn refusal to face facts no matter what the practical costs
• Can be love addicts who lack the memory of being loved and believe they are condemned to search the world for something or someone to fill them up
• Some Intimate Fours act markedly seductive to stave off being rejected
• May engineer rejection by picking unavailable or inappropriate people to become infatuated with
I wouldn't think of it like that
• A few have ambiguous, confused or exaggerated sexual identities or a chronic identity
crisis around their sexuality Not really, not the way that sounds, I've never been confused about my sexuality in that sense but I always felt my sense of self was fairly tied to that but in a somewhat fractured way; most of my shame or guilt but also pride kinda is tied to my 'sexual identity' lol, can't conceive of myself as a non-sexual being...so I do consider it a faultline, possibly the faultline

Social Fours

• Healthy Social Fours are unusually independent , self-affirming and socially courageous
• Willing to take unpopular stands, initiate innovative projects or create institutions thathave humanistic or artistic purposes
• They make good teachers especially of art, poetry, spirituality, realms of the heart andthe inner life
• Can be idealistic, drawn to social causes, with a keen sense of justice. The connection to One is especially strong with this subtype
• May play the role of the critical outsider, dissatisfied with the norm
• Prone to shame because they compare themselves with the “normal” world around them, for deviating from imagined group norms
• Highly self-critical although their critical voice often belongs to someone else
• To refute the voice’s criticisms, a Social Four may romanticize her defects or snobbishly counter-criticize the group I guess?
• May seek status or feel driven to achieve to get revenge against those who once laughed at them Not really, in a way I guess
• Cover their shame with charm
• Social Fours with a Five wing can grow antisocial and depressed, bearing their shame
in solitude, in tension to a group that they keep at a distance



5:

 

Self Preservation Fives

• Often exceptionally knowledgeable, possibly about obscure subjects Not exceptionally knowlegable but I will go in depth studying things most people don't care about, needing to know every little thing, I also have a reputation of having an bank of obscure trivial knowledge
• Use their knowledge to contribute to the world I...wrote a guidebook to Rome?
• Sensitive to being saturated, feel overwhelmed by people’s expectations
• Lose their sense of privacy more easily and can quickly feel overstimulated
• Chief defensive tendency is to physically or emotionally withdraw. opposite
• May be more explicitly alienated than the other subtypes
• Can close themselves off, burrow into their hobbies and interests; become expert at subjects so specialized or obscure that others leave them alone
• Try to take little from people; fear what the interaction will cost them
• Have a thin ectomorphic body type although they may gain weight due to a sedentary lifestyle
• Especially cost conscious around money, penny-wise and pound foolish
• Think of millionaire paupers who die in hovels but have mattresses stuffed with money
If I had money it would be seeing the light of day


Intimate Fives

• Trust only a few selected people but then do so totally. I guess, but trust isn't a big deal for me
• Friendship is based on the sharing of confidences. Intimacy is equivalent to exchanging secrets.
• A Five’s bond with a close friend or partner is experienced as away from the outside world, in a bubble, with an all or nothing quality. kinda but not really
• Can go from enigmatic, deliberate distance to intense, unguarded openness
• Intuitive, sensitive and non-judgmental of friends
• A streak of voyeurism; think of internet sex

• Can obsessively love from afar and then go cold when their love is physically present
probably not the way this is meant
• Compartmentalize their relationships; might have friends who never meet each other
• Could especially fear having their separate friends meet

• Savor fantasies of being invisible, being close to others and yet unseen

• Could be a bigamist if they had the energy
• Sneaky and devious; can betray others by keeping secrets, telling white lies



Social Fives

• A contradiction in terms. can be gregarious, generous friends
• Self declarative and socially courageous; more likely extraverted
• Could be dedicated to promoting a social or group cause, willing to take principledpolitical and social stands even if it means being uncomfortably exposed
• Connect with groups of like-minded people sharing knowledge and affiliations
• Prefer specialized or esoteric realms of knowledge that exclude the uninitiated
• Can be snobs; value knowing the “right” people, belonging to the best clubs orconcerned with titles, degrees, credentials I like the idea but it's not a preoccupation
• Good listeners and behind-the-scenes facilitators who avoid the limelight
• Can have an odd combination of presence and distance, like they are fully involved and yet holding something back,
• Indiscreet; may share information with their chosen group and be quite gossipy.
• Can be more Sevenish as in flighty, glib and insincere
• May suffer from Social Affective Disorder, which is essentially stage fright I have the opposite of stage fright
• A talent for predictions My intuition is good


7:

 

Self Preservation Sevens

• Self-Preservation Sevens are confusing since they tend to be highly sociable and gravitate toward groups like Social Subtypes do. Specialize
in “chosen family” in that they tend to create a network of people around them.
• They enjoy sharing on a circuit of interesting or like-minded people. Other people are a source of information and stimulation; interested in the latest gossip and everyone’s news.
• To the Seven, the group is a comforting barricade against the dangers of the outside world, a bulwark against an infringing universe.
• Can be loyal, if slightly detached, friends; protective towards those within their inner circle and good about staying in touch.
• Canny and practical, they look for the deals and the loopholes; can enjoy bargains,sales or getting something for nothing. Honestly I only consider something really mine if I didn't pay for it :D not really but in a way
• Equally well-versed in and fascinated by a large variety of subjects. May lack depth but have a breadth of knowledge. I flit from subject to subject but always with the intention of later cultivating a deeper knowledge
• Tend to depersonalize, talk in abstract or intellectual terms and don’t explicitly toot their own horn.
• This subtype is associated with the cliche of the “party animal,” compulsive socializers who want to enjoy perpetual good times.
• In NLP terms, Self-Preservation Sevens are “activity-oriented.” Sharing activity with others is a way to make contact or to avoid personal intimacy. • Can use people for stimulation and drop them when they stop being exciting.

• Some fear being alone and will use others as a protection against solitude.
• More likely to have an unconscious self-image of being abandoned, uncared for or left to their own devices. Abandon others out of fear of being abandoned.
• Can live beyond their means and be chronically in debt; self-induced cycles of bounty and scarcity.
• Could equate being disciplined and financially successful with being dull and stodgy. The Seven rebels by staying “free” (i.e. irresponsible and broke).


Intimate Sevens

• Intimate Sevens tend to have rich imaginations and are exceptionally creative. I think so
• They embellish reality with fantasy; see daily life through a veil of imagination.
• Often think and communicate in stories.

• Can see intimate relationships as shared experimental adventures.
• Avid learners who are open to adventure and new experience.
• Dreamers in the best and worst sense of the word.No, in the moderate sense of the word
• Intimate Sevens tend to be suggestible and can be swayed in their positions and opinions.
• Trend spotters who seek the new with the enthusiasm of a faddist; they filter reality through fantasy and the fantasy is what they purchase.
• Sevens with this subtype are often more explicitly narcissistic. They tend to personalize their experiences, talk more about themselves and use the word “I” more than other subtypes.
• Can be tentative about commitments and have a wandering eye.
• May romanticize people outside their primary relationship as a way to avoid the limits and boredom of mundane life with the same old someone. • Can be more involved with their fantasy of their partner than with the real person.
• Intimate Sevens can easily move from relationship to relationship searching for the right person or an “all time high.”
• Sexual freebooters; Don Juan and Don Juaness patterns are possible.
• Some report having high expectations of their fantasized partner and being easily disillusioned.
• aware of putting too much pressure on the relationship.

• Some intimate Sevens do stay in long term relationships. They may be interested in the mysteries and vagaries of love as well as genuinely love their partner.


 

Self Preservation Sixes

• Self-preservation Sixes can be warm and ingratiating; have a graceful, diplomatic sociability.
• Try to bring out the best in others and speak well of most people.
hope so
• Good communication skills; can tell people hard truths in a skillful or funny way.
• Generally more phobic than counter-phobic.
• Sensitive to using power fairly and constructively – not at someone else’s expense.
• Could be tough in negotiations but basically have a win-win attitude. Consider everyone an equal.
• Their home environment is especially important, home could feel like a feathered nest sheltering the Six from the world’s dangers and drubbings. • Good at practical tasks and managing the material details of living.
• Often habit-bound and want the elements in their world to be known and predictable.
• When less healthy, the Self-preservation Sixes’ personal warmth is more like a tactic, a kind of charm offensive meant to de-fang the imagined hostility of others.
• May actively worry about their ability to materially survive; catastrophic fantasies about material loss.
• If they sense aggression or disapproval in the environment, they counterphobically zero in on it. Then they use humor, charm, self- depreciation to make friends out of possible enemies.
• Might act ingratiating and vulnerable in a way that invites rescue.
• More nervously dependent than other Six subtypes.
• Less in touch with their own hostility, since that is the opposite of the weak, warm person they present themselves to be. Victimizing victim.
• Can take a “one down” position in relationships, non-verbally placating and beseeching, casting you into the role of an adult, making you the responsible, powerful one.

Intimate Sixes

• Lead disciplined lives that bring them strength – physical, emotional or spiritual. Being strong calms their fears.
• Creative; need to transform a harsh world into a beautiful one; often confused with Self preservation Fours.
• This subtype brings an artist’s eye and an aesthetic perspective, an acute awareness of beauty, a love of nature and landscape.
• Sixes with this subtype tend to act strong or alluring when insecure.
• More likely to be counterphobic; they take risks, talk tough, worry about looking weak, having their fears show.
• When beauty is the focus they try to seem attractive to contain fear, get approval and distract others.
• Some need to create and make things, to transform what they see and feel into something tangible.
Can be image conscious; their preoccupation with beauty can mutate into personal vanity; a stronger connection to Three.
• May hide and contain their fears behind an attractive mask; a sense of protective distance and once-removed control.
 
• A defiant/aggressive life stance is possible, an imitation of strength.
• Anti-authoritarian and knee-jerk rebellious.

• Intimate Sixes may project their power onto a sexual partner or sexuality itself; some report feeling addicted to sex.
• Project power onto authorities and then fight with them.
• Can be reckless, impulsive and prone to bad judgment.
• Whatever the question the answer is no; can be mistaken for Eights.
• This subtype can conflict with the Self preservation impulse in Sixes. Being creatively daring, open and unguarded is at odds with surviving and staying safe.
• If self preservation Sixes are addicted to security, Intimate Sixes are addicted to insecurity.

Social Sixes

• Steadiness and stamina. Willing to work hard in a dedicated way; a sense of mission.
• Diplomatic; can say things and not say them at the same time.
• Social Sixes tend to be dutiful and especially dependent upon authority. • They are usually more often phobic than counterphobic.
• Idealistic; want to be of service to a group or a tradition.

• Take on responsibility for the cause and, to that end, do things willingly and well.
• When acting independently they will still refer to others in their mind for safety and agreement.

• Imagine that they can’t live without the group’s support.
• May think of themselves as a soldier in someone else’s army; a mentality of dutifulness that is akin to being a slave.
• Might romanticize the boss and then later tear him/her down.
• Passive/aggressive. The connection to Nine is stronger with this subtype.
• May become joiners, hiding within a group norm, concealing their sense of deviance by attacking those outside the group who are different.
• Their natural diplomacy devolves into a hesitant cowardice about stating their own position and taking independent stands.
• Catastrophic fantasy is of being banished from the group and being unable to survive.[/QUOTE]


Social Sevens

• Healthy Social Sevens are notably steady, practical and accountable to others.
• This subtype brings Sevens more conscience and follow-through.
• When extraverted, they can enjoy social celebrations, fine wine and good food,storytelling, jokes, and travel, all with an obvious gusto. I'm not really the bon vivant type but I have my moments
• They can be unusually grounded and faithful in their responsibilities. They are relatively at ease with their commitments and are often stable and generous.
• They are sometimes motivated by idealism, serving something beyond themselves.This subtype can have a stronger connection to One.
• Protective of group members; want every member to have a good time. If someone causes trouble for the group, a Social Seven may react with a flash of temper against the interloper or troublemaker.
• Can be generous, protective friends.
• Feel torn between their duty to others and a desire to escape.
• Tend to feel codependently responsible for people close to them but experience that as a confining burden.
• Can be highly irresponsible, over promise and under deliver.
• A number of Social Sevens are firstborns or come from a large family where they were given a lot of responsibility and little guidance.
• Others recall having to compensate for codependent or unstable parents.
• Social Sevens sometimes resemble Sixes, because of their dutiful quality and their propensity for feeling guilty.
• Social Sevens with an Eight wing tend to rebel against their sense of burden and can sometimes act terse and angry toward those they feel burdened by.



8:

 

Self Preservation Eights

• Strongly focused on physical security; very hard workers.
• When healthy they are exceptionally self-reliant, independent and responsible.
• Self-preservation Eights can be implacably determined to prosper.

• Momma Bear or Poppa Bear - fiercely protective and tenderly nurturing.
• Eights with this subtype can be homebodies who are focused on comfortable survival.• Often see the world as a place where they have to fight for what they want.
• Grow up poor or struggling or feel responsible for the material well-being of their family of origin.
• Eights with this subtype can have a stronger connection to Five and may be collectors or have prized, treasured objects.
• May value possessions and objects over people.
• Possessions symbolize security, proving that they have overcome past deprivations.

• Eights with this subtype can grow preoccupied with controlling their immediate environment, including their home. I sometimes clean in a fairly passive-aggressive/aggressive even way
• The people who endanger the Eight’s possessions may be the same people the Eightis pledged to take care of.
• Can bully their children to “toughen them up” for life in the hard world outside. Not really but I'm also not going to be the kind of parent who coddles her children; they will not grow up to thinking being sorry for themselves will get them anywhere; it's not necessarily about 'toughening them up' and won't be bullying but there will be strictness to teach them to be useful individuals
• Bully their own vulnerabilities in order to feel safe.
• Prone to survivalist thinking. Might openly advocate selfishness and believe that civilized behavior is just a veneer concealing our true animal nature.
• This subtype is active in the behavior of tycoons, self-made people who create business empires out of nothing.
• Some are notoriously aggressive, bosses-from-hell.


Intimate Eights

• Considerate protective friends; loyal, dependable and there when you need them.
• Healthy Intimate Eights can be thoughtful and philosophical about matters of the heart,the vagaries and complexities of relationships.
• Sensitive and compassionate, they often have a stronger connection to Two.

• Boxer-poets; people who have a paradoxical combination of aggression and sensitivity.
• This subtype can bring artistic tendencies: the desire to create, express, write.
• Many female Eights have this subtype.
• A nuanced ironic intelligence, especially about relationships.
• Intimate Eights are sometimes mistaken for Fours and occasionally have a Four parent.
• More easily able to switch places with their beloved, to sympathetically enter into the world view and feelings of the other person. I think so
• When intimate Eights are less healthy, they are wary of betrayal and prone to suspicion.
• They can freight up their relationships with expectations, often worrying about the other person’s capacity to handle their aggression and vulnerabilities.
• Want stable, loyal predictable partners and may be sensitive to signs of faltering commitment.
• Can see a close relationship as a mutual pact of protection in a dangerous world.
• Test their partner’s motives and fortitude by being paradoxically tough and aggressive. If the partner can handle being emotionally roughed up then the Eight can be unguarded.
• Similar to the practice of “hazing” new members in an American fraternity.

• Intimate Eights can express love so implicitly that their partner doesn’t know it.
• Could casually give a gift that they have poured their heart into.
• Set themselves up to be ignored and overlooked and then react angrily.
• Can be possessive and try to dominate and control an intimate partner.
• They can be exceptionally jealous, hooked into the other, overreacting to their partner’s every move.
• Might seek out pliant or passive people - Twos, Sixes or Nines - so that the Eight can feel in charge.
tbh yes but not consciously, but I do choose to friends who I can be in control of, otherwise I am uncomfortable :/
• The dark extreme of this subtype can be seen in the behavior of male stalkers and spousal abusers.
• May want revenge for being rejected and carry the sense that the other person is my possession and they aren’t going to get away from me.

• Connected to the low side of Two, prideful codependence and emotionalism.
• Focus all their attention on a partner while neglecting themselves.


Social Eights

• Healthy Social Eights are often loyal to a chosen group and conceive of themselves as that group’s protector, provider or leader.
• The group’s welfare and cohesion are important to them. To this end, they are often cooperative, solution-focused and open to feedback.

• Social Eights are genuinely interested in how others feel and are willing to listen and to negotiate.
• Honest about their faults and hold themselves accountable to others.

• More likely to apologize when they’ve been unfair. not really haha
• This subtype has a stronger connection to Two and can emotionally switch places with others in their chosen group.
• As friends they want to protect what’s soft or young in you and appreciate the same treatment in return.
• Can be bold, audacious or progressive in the service of changing a system, especially to make it more socially just.
• Some suffer from “eldest child syndrome,” feeling responsible for younger siblings while compensating for inadequate or distant parents.
• The group the Eight protects could be family, friends, coworkers. Or stray animals,abused children, misfit teenagers; or the small and inarticulate – those who can’t advocate on their own behalf.
• Members of the group symbolize the Eight’s vulnerabilities.
• Less healthy Social Eights put themselves in a one-up position; consider themselves more adult than other group members.
• Alone in the middle of a group, the friendless protector of others.
• They can’t receive well, and don’t expect to be given to or believe anyone can care for them.
• See their group as pitted against the world or another group; persecutory justice for a cause.
• The mentality of unhealthy Social Eightness is always present in wars.

• Hang onto power for its own sake.
• Gangsters, street and prison gangs; cultures prone to retributive feuding and cycles of revenge.


9:

 

Self Preservation Nines

• Often preoccupied with physical comfort, maintaining routines and satisfying appetites. Bad at but attracted to routine - bad Si maybe. But sometimes I know like...'I want to eat an apple' and then I eat said apple...
• Exceptionally good receivers and appreciators; the best things in life are free
• Grateful for what they have and treasure it This is a strong value of mine
• Can be reliable, dependable and consistent
• Specialize in a defense of small horizonswhat does this mean
• Self Preservation Nines are especially prone to diminish their own expectations, to not quite hope for much out of life-a defense against disappointment
• Could be financially well-off but have a self-image of someone poor or destitute
• Distract themselves with pleasant domestic activities. Live conservatively
• Consume food and drink for anesthesia. Tend towards addiction, especially to numbing substances, smoking pot, overeating to the point of stupor No God no, things like food and drink should make you feel more alive, not less alive :/
• Can have a love of the minimal and enjoy the repetition of known routines theoretically
Live a life of small horizons with few expectations
• Sleepy; may be slow moving, lack energy and be physically lazy
• The cliche of the couch potato goes with the low side of this subtype
Avoid the difficult by focusing on the immediate
• Can be extremely neglectful and messy
• A spaced out, unfocused mentality; lack of rigor
• No enthusiasm for anything; life is purgatorial, just killing time



Intimate Nines

• Loyal in love; patient and enduring; able to stay steady in long term relationships
• Realistically see their partners limits but accept them

• Good listeners; supportive non-judgmental friends
• Often focused on an unconscious ideal of romantic union
• Nines with this subtype are sometimes mistaken for Fours because of the way they can melancholically yearn for what they don’t have
• May have high expectations of romantic partners and be prone to jealousy

• Often this dynamic represents a yearning for a distant parent
• The ideal of romantic union blocks out the real relationship. It is a way of staying disengaged from your priorities, a distracting obsession
• Find their attractiveness and self-worth in how others see them
• May idealize people while deleting their flaws; could tolerate being mistreated or abused
• Can be fickle in love. After committing to a relationship they can grow critical of their partner and develop a wandering eye
• Indiscriminate; might have multiple serial relationships, searching from one person to the next, obsessing about whether their current partner is “the right one”
• Some Intimate Nines get involved with two partners and can’t decide between them, a pattern of triangulation

• Can be romantic on the one hand, callous on the other People can see me as callous because I will be honest, but I don't think I really am
• Sometimes feel driven by lust, especially when the have an Eight wing


Social Nines

• Nine with this subtype enjoy group process and will work hard to facilitate a group purpose or mission
• Don’t seek the limelight but could be a group’s leader
• Could feel like the group’s emissary; no better or worse than those they represent
• Especially able to mediate, to speak to all sides in a conflict and find common ground between warring parties
• Gravitate toward groups but feel conflicted about fully joining them

• Enjoy a group’s energy and interests but are aware of the group‘s expectations Groups make me nervous because of the expectations but I like the idea often
Can lose themselves, immersing themselves in a group, trying to become all things to all people
• May play the role expected of them but stubbornly resent it
• Could also use the group as a barrier to keep the Nine from facing her own priorities

• Can get caught up in hyperactivity – a stronger connection to Three goes with this subtype. Often more extraverted and image conscious
• Rarely physically lazy. They can be very busy and active but asleep to their deeper priorities and needs
Generally more cheerful and extroverted and may be mistyped as Sevens
• Can act spoiled and broadcast an implicit attitude of privilege, although this is otherwise inconsistent with Nine temperament
• An odd combination of self-importance and egolessness. Internally they struggle with feeling unseen, but outwardly they seek attention
• Beneath the adulation they received as children, they felt ignored for who they actually were

 

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2's lines to 4 and 8!


 
Connection to 4
• This connection helps Twos get in touch with their true emotions and inner life
Develop an independent, possibly artistic point of view.It's impossible for me to be artistic I think :unsure:
I used to be good at or at least very into drawing, painting and such as a child but at some point I stopped, family found it so strange because I got so many compliments, everyone was sad that I stopped.
Search within for themselves; express themselves creatively.
Become emotionally honest; more readily in touch with the authentic emotions in their own body, boundary of self emerges, and own personal feelings.
• Recognize their own tangled motives for giving so much to others. They admit to their personal needs and take better care of themselves.
Melancholy is a portal feeling for Twos as well. Through the door of sadness they find their other emotions.I think for me it was more like...melancholy and anger? But mixed together, I feel like all of my emotions have stories and are connected to other emotions, in that I feel poetic on the inside but I don't have a talent for expressing it the way I see it.

Brings tendencies towards self-pity and depression.I don't see myself as that self pitying though, but definitely depressive.
Can haunted by melancholy. They can have a trapped prince or princess quality.
• Fear abandonment and may disown their capacity to be alone
Can act out unrequited love scenarios or develop romantic obsessions; yearn for Mr.or Ms. Right but seek unlikely, unavailable choices instead.
May have a morbid streak.
• Some Fourish Twos have medical scripts or can be interested in the illnesses of others because it makes the Two feel needed.Not sure if it's to be needed though, I just don't want them to die. Also, at times I just research illnesses a lot, that's a bad sp-ish habit I have.
Can be “walking guilt trips,” acting like martyrs or looking at you with an aura of sad disappointment, sighing heavily from time to time.But that doesn't make my feelings any less genuine
Like Fours, Twos can internalize ones and feel connected to people who are not present or, say, talk constantly about a spouse who died years ago.I feel the most connected to them.


Two’s Connection to Eight
• Strengthens a Two’s personal boundaries and helps them assert their own needs
• Get in touch with an appropriate, honest selfishness. Say “no” and take care of their own needs.This is like...I don't know how to explain but what's maybe 6-ish or 9-ish about me, maybe sp 2, is that I never consciously think "My needs are this and this" or act rationally selfish, like "I need to do this for myself" , "I need some space" and such, but like...I can become exaggeratedly selfish, like I purposely create fake needs in myself that are in a way much harder to satisfy than my real needs but also like...idk, honestly I find it do hard to describe my patterns, I know that sometimes I act X and sometimes Y and sometimes I feel ok with something and sometimes I go crazy over a seemingly similar things but I can't catch the pattern.
But for example dad says I used to be modest behaving and reasonable in sense that I didn't ask for much, especially when it comes to material things, and then I suddenly became "a bottomless pit", materially and emotionally, I took pleasure in demanding...if I got what I wanted it was the proof of love, and if I didn't at least I could get more angry and I like getting angry, in a way.
So...not appropriately selfish.
• Brings self-confidence and a direct, occasionally blunt communication style.
• Drive for getting things done, especially to fulfill their inner sense of mission.Could be better :unsure:

• Decisive, care less about other people’s opinions; do well in leadership positions.Never tried to lead.
Care less about other people's opinions might apply though...
I mean in some ways, there is nothing more important in the world.
Like...say,beauty, I'll never feel satisfied with just feeling beautiful, all the confidence in the world means nothing if no one cares about it, and even if someone cares...well I guess it's my standard, I want someone who loves me the way I want, and who I think I am and wanna be deep down is part of that,and they never will if they are attracted to confidence for it's own sake. I'll never be confident, deep down, in such way, if someone loved me for confidence and not caring what people think they would love me for who I'm not and for who I don't even wanna be. Hard to explain, but to a degree caring about what people think is part of me.
I mean there are annoying aspects of it, that I'm glad I'm slowly getting rid off, I am coming to terms with the idea that some of it was/is probably real social anxiety and should be...not encouraged at least.I guess that's 4-ish, just...not wanting to be cured, but also not feeling like there is something to cure, it's all me.
Not caring what people think, as a value or having to look like someone who doesn't care...I just don't understand it. Even in my badass wannabe phase I still didn't get why I'm supposed to not be hurt by people's opinions, I mean I guess in specific situations..."I'm not hurt", it makes sense, but as a personal trait?
Strongly protective towards friends and family.I can be (not that many people attack them), but extremely non 2-ish part of it is that I forget about it :laughing:
• Get in touch with their power to initiate as well as be forceful. Isn't that just 2, especially 2w3?
Either way, I can be shy, especially as a child, partly I liked people begging me and partly I was just too shy to be like "Let's be friends!" or "Let's go to that party!" or even just say yes to invitations, I had to feel like they really wanted me to be there.
• Can forcefully cleave their way through obstacles to achieving their goals.Not really, however at one point I wanted to be Voldemort, tried to create situations just for the sake of being callous. I did many things to like...satisfy both 3 (or just image in general) and 8.

• If a Two’s pride is insulted or they feel under-appreciated they can act out vengefully like an unhealthy Eight."insulted pride", "feel under appreciated" :frustrating:
I don't relate to it put like that but I guess it's technically more true than not.
• The pride of a Two and the narcissism of an Eight can fuse into a sense of angry entitlement. Can also be rebellious.Same. I can be rebellious in a way, more playfully.
• Since Twos are acutely sensitive to other people’s feelings and inner workings, they know just how to hurt them, which soft spot to stab to inflict the most pain.Only if I know them well.
• Block out the evidence of their own hostility or have amnesia for what they just said while angry.Sometimes, when it really just happens accidentally, and I definitely do forget many things related to like...more passive aggression/manipulation and things people say about me, also the other day I wanted to talk about sp-ish things people have told me about me, and I realized I literally can't remember those conversations, I just know they happened :laughing:
Can be sharp-tongued, domineering and pushy.Grandma always said I had like...say, bad temper, but a more personal version of it, not sure what's the word in English, apparently as much as she loves me my style can rub her 9-ness the wrong way.
Like she's less aggressive, only difference is that's she's really quiet about it :rolleyes:
• Go from being victim to oppressor. Could hold grudges.I don't think I hold grudges. I'm fair, I'm understanding, I forgive many things easily. It really depends on situation but I often don't really see people as guilty even if they technically are, other people are like "Why are you forgiving them??" and I just don't see any reason not to.
Give themselves to you and then demand themselves back.
Can throw tantrums, be aggressive or violent when they are not given what their pride says they are due.Sounds like 2's make lists of who owes them what.
• Feel like they have to be strong for others but unconsciously resent the burden.I think I used to more when I was younger? I feel like yes, I don't relate to the word strong and I don't relate to it now so strongly but it feels like it'd be relatable at some points of my life, maybe with dad and like...nothing specific, but I think I was generally much more controlled with him and he admits he treated me as too adult in some ways, we had conversations I couldn't handle at that age but he couldn't help it, and he felt I was mature enough.
I think at some point I told him I wish I just knew less, his venting probably stressed me out at least as much as actual things happening, but I didn't mind it when it was happening.
 

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• Intimate Eights can express love so implicitly that their partner doesn’t know it.
• Could casually give a gift that they have poured their heart into.
I relate to these 8 things somewhat and it seems strange for a 2 :unsure:



I relate to a lot of 8 and 9 (8 more thanI thought!), somehow I could see myself disintegrate to both...
(Will try to do them later!)
I tried to do 3 things but I feel so confused by line to 6 :frustrating:
 

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Sx 2 and 3


 
• Highly emotionally intelligent and capable of deep personal intimacy.
• Have superb social skills; able to make direct, empathetic contact with others on a one-to-one basis.
• Can be excellent biographers, therapists, counselors; excel in occupations that depend on effectively entering another individual’s subjective reality.I don't know...
But when I was younger I thought that if I were a vampire I'd be like Edward and I'd get a mind reading superpower, you get what you're already good at :p
Generous, sensitive and thoughtful towards their beloved.
• Especially good at reading and responding to nonverbal behavior.I related to 6w5 thing, about being more "auditory" but this too, however I can feel awkward, and like there's an invisible fence around people.
Can see beyond roles and contexts to identify someone’s essential humanity.
• Tend to act seductive and aggressive by turns.No clue
Generally confuse being sexually desirable with being loved.But I don't understand why "confuse"
• Can seem receptively interested in others, offering inviting touches while oozing a combination of charm and sexuality.Same as above, I can feel awkward/fear rejection, I wanna be so beautiful and irresistible that I don't have to feel awkward, because everyone wants me. I'm not sure how I act when I'm feeling comfortable, then I'm comfortable so I don't think that much.
May harbor a melancholy desire for total enmeshed connection with another person;related to the low side of Four.
Like Fours, Intimate Twos may be attracted to distant or unavailable partners; this replicates a distant relationship with a parent.Idk if it replicates anything
• Offer their beloved an intensely focused interest, an interest they secretly want to have returned.It's not really a secret, when it's not a secret, but sometimes the whole thing is a secret. Or like...half secret, when I don't want to tell them but want them to know. But it's definitely no secret (to me) that I want returned interest.
• If someone resists an Intimate Two’s drive to intimacy the Two may then push and challenge, trying to find a way around their beloved’s objection to becoming fully united.If this fails, the Two may grow angry or even physically violent.
Intimate Twos can be “processing queens” and “processing kings,” people who are so focused on their relationships that they need to talk about, analyze and understand any barriers to intimacy.
Sometimes proud of their seductive powers and the status of those they seduce.Some get hooked on the challenge of seduction and on winning people over.
• Once a catch is secured they may lose interest; can feel closer to people they don’t know well.Feel this could be true, not just romantically. Also people I know but rarely see.
• Some Intimate Twos are highly sexual, Others are not but still role-play an image of sexuality that they are disconnected from. I don't know, for a while I thought I was asexual but I was being a bit dramatic.



 
Sx 3
• Healthy Intimate Threes are deft at wearing masks, choosing the roles they play either for the benefit of others or in the service of getting things done.I'm not really good at it, especially not for goals, like I have a hard time following through planned steps and such, I often imagine goals and doing "any means" things for people or the goal, it's more like a form of expression inside my head. Hard to explain, but I don't get how people feel true drive to do things like that. I can be charming in a situation and such, though, in different ways depending on people.
• Know the difference between who they really are and who they seem to be.I guess? But it's such a blurry line, it's not even a real line.
Tuned to this difference in others and have a sensitive sympathy for the human frailties that we hide behind roles and posturing.I'm very understanding of image types, if that's what they mean, that's why I don't understand why "image"and"underneath the image" is a thing:/

Charming, have a sense of humor about themselves; exceptionally good mentors.
• Especially prone to persona – playing a role of one’s self.?
• Mask themselves with an image of an appealing man or woman.I don't get it!!!
• Their image is based on community or cultural ideals of masculinity or femininity or matching a partner’s definition of an ideal mate.
• Can be sexual imposters, faking intimacy; even when they are naked they are not naked.Getting naked is the hardest part :unsure:
• Sometimes an Intimate Three’s persona is not based on overt sexual desirability but some other criteria, ie being interesting or smart.Partly that too, but I don't really focus on building that, desirability is the only thing that I'm like "I must be beautiful" and I'm really obsessive about it, and I mean obsessive, there are times when I can't stop thinking about specific facial features, about how they don't fit me as a person, I had like...elaborate theories on what kinds of men like what kinds of traits, also how people with different faces get treated, and I tried to evaluate my face, unsuccessfully, I blamed all of my issues on my face.Realizing now I wasn't being realistic.
It got a bit better when I realized that I was somewhat wrong at least.
They may be drawn to plastic surgery; keep their bodies fit and attractive.Yes
The other part of the sentence annoys me)
Has a So-ish feel I think.
But like, maybe a 9-ish thing is that when I was younger I'd for example cry about not looking perfect in a swimsuit and didn't wanna go to the beach (eventually I did) but I only remembered that right before going.
• Intimate Threes who need to be seen as desirable are hiding an exact opposite part of themselves, a self who feels anything but attractive.Same as those things before :dry:
Idk, if I'm as ugly as I sometimes think I am then people see me as ugly, if not then they don't.
I guess I could answer why I wanna beautiful? It's just everything, no one writes songs and stories about about an ugly girl, she gets less from life, and no one even wants much from her, might as well not exist in the eyes of men. And most importantly, I feel like I should be more beautiful.
• His or her relationships could be short; might cycle through many partners, jettisoning each when they get too close to the truth.
• Can be distinctly exhibitionistic.




Edit: I did 8 but I deleted it by accident :bored:
 

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Self Preservation Ones
• Talented at getting things done and attending to practical detail.I can be efficient in everyday situations I guess? Like grocery shopping :D
Currently comparing myself to my mother though, so my standards are really low, she's so bad at those things and then suddenly she goes "OMG GOTTA HURRY, GOTTA DO THIS RIGHT!!!" and just makes everyone including herself nervous, today she compared me to her mother because I reminded her of what she has to do tomorrow :laughing:

• Ultra-reliable; do what they say they will on time.Yes, if it's important.
• Tend towards worry and negative anticipation about material well being.Hm, well ever since I've become more in charge with my money I can be really careful (when I'm not being careless), or like, I sometimes buy things in advance while there's still money, or I hide money from myself so I don't spend it)
• Can worry about money; “penny-wise and pound- foolish."What I said above, also I do try to get things for as cheap as possible, I hate knowing I have less money than I had the day before. Desn't work well with my love of spending money :sad:
I literally love spending money, I sometimes take an acceptable amount with me to drugstore or something, like 5€ and then buy as much as I can for that money.

• A petty, finicky quality; may magnify small tasks into large problems.Maybe not huge problems, but for example the most recent thing was that my flight was delayed, and it upset me so much because I looked perfect, I was in the right mood to go, everything was perfect, the day was perfect because my mom didn't have to work next day, we planned on watching the latest episode of the show and I waited for it for days. And then I found out the fucking plane is still in Germany when it was supposed to be flying back towards Germany together with me in it :angry:
Had to wait for the next day, and I got really worried that everything will somehow feel different because of it, I wasn't at all in the right mood to go anymore and I worried about my perfect shirt being too dirty to wear again (not really in image-y way, mom is constantly seeing me in dirty shirts and without makeup, but it's just my personal tradition and gets me in going to Germany mood)
That night I had a dream that I arrived and felt unwelcome.
The next day I talked to some people on the plane and they all thought I missed something extremely important, apparently I acted like it.
• Prone to a mild form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
• Distorted sense of responsibility; feel like they have to make the sun come up in the morning.
• Can seem like anxious Sixes but they lack a Six’s underlying core of helpless fear.Ones don’t doubt their capacity to take action.
• Could believe that everything has to be just right to avert disaster.
• May have a sense of being undeserving or inadequate; compensate with worry.
• If something goes wrong it will painfully confirm their lack of worth.Depends what that something is though? But the wording makes me feel like I don't relate.


Intimate Ones
Able to bring out the best in people.I hope so :unsure:
I guess the worst too though
• Personable, with good social skills.I honestly can't evaluate my social skills, I think it depends a lot on situation, and mood.
Motivated by a desire to improve for a mate.
• Can feel like relationships are exercises in mutual improvement.
More vain, especially with a Two wing; aware of how they look.
• Idealize their beloved and have high expectations in close relationships.Yes but not sure if in 1 way.
Grow up in atmospheres of criticism and high standards.In a way, but I guess I didn't react to it in really obvious way? For example I had friends with strict parents who were really hard working, had straight A's, literally followed the rules, I guess I followed some, some also self-imposed rules, some not at all or had my own idea of what they meant.
Sensitive to the possibility of being rejected by intimates.
If a beloved is even slightly critical the One hears the criticism as though through a megaphone.Although it depends, like...I'm extremely sensitive to criticism, that's honestly one of my main bad qualities, but in some situations you can criticize me as much as you want and I won't care.
You could list all of my flaws and I might not care at all, but if you raise your voice even slightly and tell me one barely bad thing, unexpectedly, it can really hurt me.
Distinct capacity for possessive jealousy.
• May have conflicts around sexuality; might feel inhibited and yet be attracted to wild sin.The wording :laughing:


Social Ones
• Genuinely self-sacrificing, can work tirelessly for the good of others and enjoy putting their ideals into action.Doubt it defines me :unsure:
• Forgive the world for being flawed but still try to improve it.When I try to think about1-ish things it's never so positive.
• Believe they are representatives of a larger social order or tradition.
• Preoccupied with rules and how they apply to (other) people’s behavior.
• Can apply the same rigid standards to each new situation; unconsciously ask themselves, “What is the rule?” rather than “What is necessary or sensible?”Used to get this as a child I think
• Can become preachy, won’t change their mind and won’t change the subject.But tbh it depends more on my desire to argue than rightness.
Sometimes I don't feel like arguing and don't care about what someone thinks is right, they can believe whatever they want, I don't think I can influence opinions if a person has already formed an opinion of their own (I mean it depends, I'm talking mostly about debates on religion, everyday life things, and not purely logic based things)
• Escape themselves by focusing on things that are essentially none of their business i.e. What others are doing wrong, issues of public morality.I do focus on myself too, and doubt I do this in 1 way, but when I was younger I criticized other people a lot and I do see how it could be escaping myself to a degree because when I have no one to criticize I move to criticizing myself.


• Especially prone to black and white thinking; can cling to wrong-headed certainty to avoid the unknown.
• Can be hypocritical; “Do as I say not as I do"
• May resist modernity, and fail “on principle” to adapt to new trends or realities
• Consider being rigid, inflexible and closed a virtue, proof that they are living by an infallible moral or religious code.Yes, not in moral way though.
• Can value structures, systems and rules; can be impersonal and dictatorial in positions of power.
Maybe in Ti/Se way?
I'm annoyed by people who are against those things, like too much focus on freedom and everyone doing what they want.
I don't think a lot about such things but if someone comes to me crying about feeling oppressed or something I instinctively wanna make it worse, regardless of what their actual beliefs are)
• Most schools of religious and political fundamentalism are ruled by Social Oneness

 

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Sp and sx 9, also 9w8 because I'm considering it again

Self Preservation Nines
• Often preoccupied with physical comfort, maintaining routines and satisfying appetites.
• Exceptionally good receivers and appreciators; the best things in life are free
• Grateful for what they have and treasure it I would be if I had something
Can be reliable, dependable and consistent
• Specialize in a defense of small horizonsWhat does that mean?
• Self Preservation Nines are especially prone to diminish their own expectations, to not quite hope for much out of life-a defense against disappointment
• Could be financially well-off but have a self-image of someone poor or destitute I'm not that rich so idk, but I doubt it
• Distract themselves with pleasant domestic activities. Live conservatively
• Consume food and drink for anesthesia. Tend towards addiction, especially to numbing substances, smoking pot, overeating to the point of stuporI do overeat but because of lack of self control, also boredom and just bunch of other things but not for numbing purposes, I want something to make me happy, or at least not bored.
• Can have a love of the minimal and enjoy the repetition of known routines
•Live a life of small horizons with few expectations
• Sleepy; may be slow moving, lack energy and be physically lazy
• The cliche of the couch potato goes with the low side of this subtype I'm more likely to go out, eat, talk to people, go shopping and such, than be lazy in that sense.
•Avoid the difficult by focusing on the immediate
• Can be extremely neglectful and messy I'm messy but it's not a sign of bad health in my case, I think,I don't understand housekeeping beyond making sure nothing is dirty.
• A spaced out, unfocused mentality; lack of rigor
• No enthusiasm for anything; life is purgatorial, just killing time Sounds like depression or something, happens sometimes, lately :/


Intimate Nines
Loyal in love; patient and enduring; able to stay steady in long term relationships
• Realistically see their partners limits but accept them
Good listeners; supportive non-judgmental friends
Often focused on an unconscious ideal of romantic union
Nines with this subtype are sometimes mistaken for Fours because of the way they can melancholically yearn for what they don’t have
• May have high expectations of romantic partners and be prone to jealousy
• Often this dynamic represents a yearning for a distant parent
• The ideal of romantic union blocks out the real relationship. It is a way of staying disengaged from your priorities, a distracting obsessionDon't think so, but I am prone to distracting obsessions.
Find their attractiveness and self-worth in how others see them
• May idealize people while deleting their flaws; could tolerate being mistreated or abusedI don't really idealize/delete flaws though, I probably see them as biggest piece of shit in the whole world yet like them)
Can be fickle in love. After committing to a relationship they can grow critical of their partner and develop a wandering eye
• Indiscriminate; might have multiple serial relationships, searching from one person to the next, obsessing about whether their current partner is “the right one”
• Some Intimate Nines get involved with two partners and can’t decide between them, a pattern of triangulation

• Can be romantic on the one hand, callous on the other
• Sometimes feel driven by lust, especially when the have an Eight wing

Nine with an Eight Wing
• Healthy Nines with an Eight wing have a modest, steady, receptive qualityDon't think so :unsure:
Charged by the dynamism of Eight; can have great energy and force of will
• Get things done, make good leaders and have a personal magnetism of which they are only partly awareI hope I'm only partly aware of it but I doubt it :laughing:
• This wing brings a stronger internal sense of direction; when they decide on a path of action they may be impossible to influence In a way? Sounds like me yet different from me for some reason.
• Relatively fearless and highly intuitive; take their work seriously but not themselves
Good friend to others, offers a protective quality. Sympathize with underdogs
• Not very visual but the connection to Three can modify this somewhatWhat does visual mean??
• May seem laconic and laid-back on the surface but that belies a deeper intensity
• Can be surprisingly tactless, rude or gauche and be oblivious to the fact*Tbh I'm probably not oblivious to it more often
Some Nines with an Eight wing aren’t conscious of being afraid-their connection to Six.Pave over their fears with aggression and numb callousness Well if I am a 9, then yes,because I really don't get 6. But at the same time I'm aware of my fears, I don't think all fears are 6.
• Might surround themselves with fearful people, say, a nervous dependent Six whom the Nine then rescues. Can have savior complexesNot necessarily fearful but yes, weaker in some sense.
• May displace their anger; pick a fight about something peripheral-not what’s really bothering them; Sometimes behind the anger is a tearful vulnerability
Could be amiable, kindly and supportive one minute and then blunt, opinionated or nasty the next. A Jekyll/Hyde quality
• Prone to blame and to mishandling their anger; while not exactly vengeful they can be
vindictive. An anti-authoritarian streak is also possible
 
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