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MOTM Jan 2014
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Discussion Starter #1
Fine Distinctions / Threes / Tom Condon

Self Preservation Threes
• Self Preservation Threes are unusually capable, organized and efficient.
• Especially good at discovering the best strategy for getting a job done; get from point A to point B as quickly and effectively as possible.
• Think of Olympic athletes who are utterly focused on goals and make themselves into achievement machines.
• This is subtype and personality style of uber athletes like Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong.
• Often have a prodigious work ethic.
• Don’t have to have a massive amount of money, just enough according to how they have defined security.
• Taking material care of their immediate family is high on their list of priorities and they may do a better job at this than they realize.
• Tend to compete with themselves, try to break their own record rather than trying to out do their next door neighbor.
• Preoccupied with acquiring material security as a way to calm their anxieties about survival.
• May have a poverty model; could have grown up poor and insecure; could amass a fortune and yet harbor a morbid fear of dying broke.
• This subtype has a stronger connection to Six; worry that their success is shaky.
• May see the world as a harsh, dog-eat-dog place.
• Can’t stop working, addicted to activity, continuously create new challenges.
• Might use drugs and alcohol to take edge off their fears; prone to mid-life health crises.

Intimate Threes
• Healthy Intimate Threes are deft at wearing masks, choosing the roles they play either for the benefit of others or in the service of getting things done.
• Know the difference between who they really are and who they seem to be.
• Tuned to this difference in others and have a sensitive sympathy for the human frailties that we hide behind roles and posturing.
• Charming, have a sense of humor about themselves; exceptionally good mentors.
• Especially prone to persona – playing a role of one’s self.
• Mask themselves with an image of an appealing man or woman.
• Their image is based on community or cultural ideals of masculinity or femininity or matching a partner’s definition of an ideal mate.
• Can be sexual imposters, faking intimacy; even when they are naked they are not naked.
• Sometimes an Intimate Three’s persona is not based on overt sexual desirability but some other criteria, ie being interesting or smart.
• They may be drawn to plastic surgery; keep their bodies fit and attractive.
• Intimate Threes who need to be seen as desirable are hiding an exact opposite part of themselves, a self who feels anything but attractive.
• His or her relationships could be short; might cycle through many partners, jettisoning each when they get too close to the truth.
• Can be distinctly exhibitionistic.

Social Threes
• Healthy Social Threes are often status-conscious but clear-eyed about the true value of life’s prizes and awards.
• Especially aware of the emptiness of success for its own sake and start to want more out of life.
• Skilled networkers who use their reputations and social contacts for humanitarian ends, for example, using their power and prestige to benefit a charity.
• Brings the leadership qualities; good at teaching groups of people or being the head coach of a team effort.
• Reward and inspire those they lead; generous about giving credit.
• Recognize that their own accomplishments partly rest on the efforts of others.
• Unself-conscious examples of what they preach and teach.
• Can display a seamless graceful merging of self and role and can be at their most authentic when wearing a mask.
• Often invent themselves by consciously modeling others of a desired social or economic standing.
• When less healthy, may directly confuse their inner self with the outer world’s badges,honors and totems.
• Measure themselves by money, position, awards or results; strive to match group standards and have the right credentials.
• Exceptionally worried about what other people think of them.
• Materialistic, want to own the best brands and be identified with those products; the right possessions give the Three rub-off status.
• Prone to hypocrisy; deny qualities or behaviors that contradict their self-image.
• Some lead reckless double lives, implicitly daring the world to discover their secrets.
• Can be self-sabotaging. If they were born poor and became rich they might bring themselves back down; for example, going bankrupt or getting caught with false credentials in a way that ruins their status and reputation.

Three with a Two Wing
• Often highly gregarious and good communicators.
• This wing brings a measure of extraversion, an unforced charm and leadership qualities.
• Honorable and sincere, try to do well by others.
• Go out of their way to be honest and transparent.
• Often genuinely nice people, warm-hearted, with a positive outlook and an uncomplicated, affectionate nature.
• If they have achieved some measure of worldly success, they are generous in their support and mentoring of others.
• Canny negotiators and efficient administrators.
• Preoccupied with seeming ideal to others. This can extend to friendships, family, as well as at work.
• Have a stronger social focus because they need so much external validation.
• Stronger connection to Six; less likely to question authority and convention.
• Capable of preening, boastful behavior and shameless self-promotion.
• Some are openly competitive, revel in winning and believe that they are better than others.
• Can develop messiah complexes, becoming convinced that they are exemplars of the right way to live.
• May believe they are farther along a path than they really are; begin teaching others what they have not yet truly learned.
• Easily slip into impersonation, falsifying their sentiments and intentionally lying to gain advantage; the behavior of con-artists and sociopaths.
• Can be exceptionally hostile; see other people as two-dimensional objects to be manipulated.

Three with a Four Wing
• Have the motivation and ability to work on themselves.
• Some accomplish everything they set out to do materially and then embark on a path of self-analysis, artistic exploration or teaching.
• They like challenges, but are more thoughtful, intuitive and idealistic.
• Generally more introverted; a little cooler and distant in their social presentation.
• May have a strong romantic streak.
• More ironic than Threes with a Two wing who tend to be enthusiastic and possibly naive.
• Can lack a sense of humor about themselves and accuse their critics of being too plebeian to appreciate them.
• Less obviously image conscious, but can still project a vague, implicit superiority;mistake their ambitions for principles.
• Implicitly competitive but tend to compete with themselves first.
• In some Threes the expression of their Four wing is chronic - a depressive quality or a running sense of dissatisfaction with what they have.
• In others, the Fourness is episodic: listening to sad music for emotional release, being a scientist with a secret interest in the occult.
• Self-pitying; may see themselves as victims when they fail.
• Tend to be jealous in relationships.
• Can overrate their accomplishments and uniqueness; could believe they are more talented than they are.

Three’s Connection to Six
• A healthy connection helps Threes drop their masks, admit their flaws and risk being seen for who they are.
• A Three’s true feelings generally have a fearful quality; fear is a door to their other emotions.
• They commit to ideals beyond just winning and succeeding.
• Develop personal loyalties to family and friends; increased spirituality.
• Ethical concerns become more important, moral courage emerges.
• Stay faithful and keep their agreements, even at the risk of losing face.
• Idealistic; work for social change.
• Fear of revealing what is behind their image, their Achilles heel, the young insecure self the Three otherwise tries to conceal.
• Connection brings anxiety that fuels the Three’s desire to mask; run from the “awful truth” about themselves. Imposter syndrome.
• Can be nervously ambivalent about relationships, unable to decide or commit.
• Want to choose the “right” person based on society’s criteria; underneath they fear that their unlovable “true” self will be unmasked.
• Can over identify with hierarchies and traditions; give their power to authority and play good child roles that get them approval.
• Sometimes the connection to Six is counter-phobic and takes the form of seeking constant challenge to overcome inner fears.
• Can be afraid to stop because they sense an exhausted laziness beneath their hyperactivity – the shadow of the low side of Nine.
• Prone to co-dependence and addiction.

Three’s Connection to Nine
• Brings a capacity to self-observe as well as a slower tempo of thought and action.
• More receptive to the people in their lives; appreciate their idle time, especially when spent with family and friends.
• Connection helps Threes emerge from their roles and relax into being themselves.
• The modest, unpretentious quality of Nines is latent in Threes.
• Winning becomes less important; success may be seen as an illusion; take “timeouts”from the world’s races.
• New projects are entered because they look interesting, will benefit others or for intuitive reasons that the Three can’t explain.
• A capacity for amiable peacemaking and a well-intended desire to make friends and family happy.
• Prefer equal relationships, instead of competing with others.
• Can bring a Nine-like confusion especially about action; may lose sight of their goals and start going in circles at high speeds, doing the wrong thing.
• Neurotic habit of altering themselves for their environment can get worse.
• May flip from hyperactivity to paralysis; become indolent and procrastinating like an unhealthy Nine.
• Lack motivation and direction; become passively depressed, use drugs or alcohol to further deaden their feelings.
• Nihilistic “what’s the use?” attitudes; numb, Nine-like apathy is possible.
• Can feel depressed and futile about attempting anything.
• This connection is especially evident when Threes have midlife crises.
• The Nine’s emotional numbness reinforces the Three’s emotional absence.
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