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MOTM Jan 2012
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Question: Are you polite to strangers and mere acquaintances, but become more your...sarcastic self with people that you like?

I find that when I meet new people, I'm not comfortable around them (and most of the time, I couldn't care about them one way or another). So I'm indifferent and politely aloof.

But, when I get to know someone enough, and I'm comfortable enough around them, I can be quite dry and caustic. My family has to explain to people, don't mind her, that just means she likes you.

Is anyone else like this, or are you up front with your ISTP nature? Or a different approach altogether?
 

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I've been living with a few people for around five months now.

Still haven't learnt their names.

:cool:

And my friends know I'm good for a snappy one liner.
 

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MOTM Jan 2012
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I've been living with a few people for around five months now.

Still haven't learnt their names.

:cool:

And my friends know I'm good for a snappy one liner.
Brilliant!

I am horrible with names too. I have nicknames for people, and I never bother to learn their names. At my old job, there was a woman who volunteered in the library who also trained seeing eye dogs. She was Dog Lady. (Original, I know, right?) Same down at school, church, and random social events. I'm trying to get better at this, because apparently, people expect you to remember their name. Foolish mortals...
 
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I horrible with names, too. Great with faces, though. I repeat their name to myself a few times now to try and associate it with their face. Then, I have to explain to them what I'm doing because they're usually looking at me like I'm insane. :laughing:

I'm polite to the point that people crack on me for it at times. Then, I let my guard down and they're shocked. If I'm in an environment where I just don't give a crap, I'll be as sarcastic as I want.
 

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Question: Are you polite to strangers and mere acquaintances, but become more your...sarcastic self with people that you like?
Absolutely. It's disconcerting how I need to hide myself in most social situations.
 
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Question: Are you polite to strangers and mere acquaintances, but become more your...sarcastic self with people that you like?

I find that when I meet new people, I'm not comfortable around them (and most of the time, I couldn't care about them one way or another). So I'm indifferent and politely aloof.

But, when I get to know someone enough, and I'm comfortable enough around them, I can be quite dry and caustic. My family has to explain to people, don't mind her, that just means she likes you.
I'm not quite an ISTP, but I absolutely am like this.

Come on, just like how every girl has a slutty friend, everyone has a best friend where you make fun of each other just for shits and giggles.

I wouldn't say I'm rude. I just like to know where to draw the line for my behavior first and foremost, and it's better to be too polite than too out there.
 

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MOTM Jan 2012
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I wonder if being more adept at facial recognition is correlated with personality type. I just spent 30 minutes googling "Facial recognition"...:crazy: It takes place in the right brain, where, if we are to believe Lenore Thomson, our dominant and secondary functions operate, supposedly. It would be interesting to read research about it. Facial recognition is a holistic process, just like Ti and Se (and Fi and Ne).

I horrible with names, too. Great with faces, though. I repeat their name to myself a few times now to try and associate it with their face. Then, I have to explain to them what I'm doing because they're usually looking at me like I'm insane. :laughing:

I'm polite to the point that people crack on me for it at times. Then, I let my guard down and they're shocked. If I'm in an environment where I just don't give a crap, I'll be as sarcastic as I want.
I usually just remember people's faces too. And, I usually call every one "ma'am" or "sir", especially if they're older. Then people say, oh you don't need to call me ma'am. I think, crap! Now I have to learn your name.

And I love that brief moment when you take down the polite facade, people's astonishment, like they don't know what to think. I love to keep people guessing. I've read in Type Talk that keeping people off-balance is how ISTPs feel the most comfortable. For me at least, it sounds very accurate.
 
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Why do we even have names? I never gossip anyway ...

Me too, I'm horrible with names, like, what's the point ? we'll never get passed a hello anyway..
until the day I need something from ... oh damn! what's his name ?
 

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I usually try to be very polite and helpful. I guess working in a public service environment forever does that to you.

Generally speaking, if the other person is not personable and not judgmental we'll get along really well and I'll be able to start reading them to see if we have any other interests in common.

Remembering names and faces is really tough. But having it written down somewhere (address list, organizational chart, facebook, etc.) works much better. Especially if I am the one creating said list, friending on fb, etc.

For any purpose, I very rarely refer to a person as "sir" or "ma'am". I use their first name almost exclusively. I like when I'm called by my name, so if it's good enough for me, it's good enough for them :)
 

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Why do we even have names? I never gossip anyway ...

Me too, I'm horrible with names, like, what's the point ? we'll never get passed a hello anyway..
until the day I need something from ... oh damn! what's his name ?
Reason to have names:

When we misbehave in school, the teacher knows who our parents are?

When a cop pulls us over for speeding, he knows who to make the citation out too?

When we die, they know who is buried in which coffin?
 

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Question: Are you polite to strangers and mere acquaintances, but become more your...sarcastic self with people that you like?
I'm probably the other way around.

Sarcastic with strangers and polite with my friends. I don't care what strangers think, but I have to take into consideration my friend's feelings, otherwise I could lose a friend.

I'm not particularly good at remembering names either. Since I have good memory though, then the reason why I don't remember names is probably because I really don't want to or don't care to make the effort. If I don't know you, then I don't have to talk to you, but if I know you then I'm obligated to acknowledge you, listen to what you have to say.
 

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Question: Are you polite to strangers and mere acquaintances, but become more your...sarcastic self with people that you like?
Come to think of it, no I don't. I have no trouble being phoney and indifferent towards people I don't like, but I'm just plain awkward around people that I do like. The only people I can be myself with are certain family members, and even then I have to tone it down somewhat (they are F-types).
 

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I wonder if being more adept at facial recognition is correlated with personality type. I just spent 30 minutes googling "Facial recognition"...:crazy: It takes place in the right brain, where, if we are to believe Lenore Thomson, our dominant and secondary functions operate, supposedly. It would be interesting to read research about it. Facial recognition is a holistic process, just like Ti and Se (and Fi and Ne).



I usually just remember people's faces too. And, I usually call every one "ma'am" or "sir", especially if they're older. Then people say, oh you don't need to call me ma'am. I think, crap! Now I have to learn your name.

And I love that brief moment when you take down the polite facade, people's astonishment, like they don't know what to think. I love to keep people guessing. I've read in Type Talk that keeping people off-balance is how ISTPs feel the most comfortable. For me at least, it sounds very accurate.
Hmm. I think you're onto something there.

I LOVE keeping people off-balance. :crazy:

I'm polite until given a reason to alienate the offending party.
Hahaha, excellent!
 

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I come off as an ESTP, until people realize I make zero emotional connection with them and my interaction with them the whole time has just been stupid one liners and snide comments. Then they see that I never actually come out in public... then somewhere along the line people think I'm really dumb because I always look like I'm contemplating against myself when in actuality I'm just having a homer simpson moment thinking about doughnuts or why baboons have such fucking ugly asses.
 

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MOTM Jan 2012
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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Come to think of it, no I don't. I have no trouble being phoney and indifferent towards people I don't like, but I'm just plain awkward around people that I do like. The only people I can be myself with are certain family members, and even then I have to tone it down somewhat (they are F-types).
Interesting how you say phony. Do you view this politeness as a kind of phoniness?

And I can become very awkward, too. Especially in situations where I am at a disadvantage, such as hanging out with peers that I like but with whom I don't have much in common, and the occasional sarcastic comment will emerge.

But even too much of the sarcasm is a defense mechanism. Among my family, I am myself, neither an extreme of the polite nor the sarcastic. I am still wry, caustic, but goofy too. I can openly display child-like wonder and excitement about things that interest me. If I am in a talkative mood, I can be so, without someone saying a stupid comment, which makes me clam up again.

The only family member who is an F is my mom, and while she understands me to an extent, I know my acerbic comments and gruff manner hurt her at times. She does need tougher skin, but I need to be less of a jerk. So she tolerates my grouchiness, and I try to tone down my sarcasm.

There is a commonality from our posts, and that is we all have facades, personas (or personae if I want to get technical) that we use to deflect the outside world from our true self. Do you all agree, or do you have a different theory?
 

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And I can become very awkward, too. Especially in situations where I am at a disadvantage, such as hanging out with peers that I like but with whom I don't have much in common, and the occasional sarcastic comment will emerge.

But even too much of the sarcasm is a defense mechanism. Among my family, I am myself, neither an extreme of the polite nor the sarcastic. I am still wry, caustic, but goofy too. I can openly display child-like wonder and excitement about things that interest me. If I am in a talkative mood, I can be so, without someone saying a stupid comment, which makes me clam up again.

The only family member who is an F is my mom, and while she understands me to an extent, I know my acerbic comments and gruff manner hurt her at times. She does need tougher skin, but I need to be less of a jerk. So she tolerates my grouchiness, and I try to tone down my sarcasm.
I can relate to all that. Except I'm not sarcastic or grouchy, more like harshly realistic. It gets misinterpreted as grouchiness all the time, which is why I'm forced to tone it down and adapt to others. I don't regard that as a good thing, because I have no problem with the way I am and I would much prefer to be myself. It's just not an option, given the types of people that I have to interact with. They're incapable of adapting to me, so I have to adapt to them.

Interesting how you say phony. Do you view this politeness as a kind of phoniness?
Well I'm not naturally polite, so yeah it does feel phoney to me. But I do it if there's a reason to.

There is a commonality from our posts, and that is we all have facades, personas (or personae if I want to get technical) that we use to deflect the outside world from our true self. Do you all agree, or do you have a different theory?
I have facades yes. But as I said-- it's not by choice. I'd much prefer to be my true self and have everyone else just deal with it.
 

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I come off as an ESTP, until people realize I make zero emotional connection with them and my interaction with them the whole time has just been stupid one liners and snide comments.
I think we were separated at birth. :crazy:

It's tough, pretending we care.
 

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Question: Are you polite to strangers and mere acquaintances, but become more your...sarcastic self with people that you like?

I find that when I meet new people, I'm not comfortable around them (and most of the time, I couldn't care about them one way or another). So I'm indifferent and politely aloof.

But, when I get to know someone enough, and I'm comfortable enough around them, I can be quite dry and caustic. My family has to explain to people, don't mind her, that just means she likes you.

Is anyone else like this, or are you up front with your ISTP nature? Or a different approach altogether?
ha ha. my istp calls me shithead. i knew that meant he must like me. if he started calling me darling i'd get worried.
 

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MOTM Jan 2012
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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
ha ha. my istp calls me shithead. i knew that meant he must like me. if he started calling me darling i'd get worried.
Awesome! I would be worried too.

This evening I told my ISTP dad to move his crap that I nearly killed myself on today. He called me a little shit, and told me to shut the hell up. I called him a crazy bastard and told him that he's gonna move it, or I'm gonna take a baseball bat to it...or him!!

*ahem* Anyway...

Needless to say, we are way too comfortable with each other. What's awesome (or warped) about this situation is that neither of us were phased by this...exchange of words. It's wonderfully refreshing being around someone where you don't have to worry if you step on a few toes.
 
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