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Hello, pretty hidden gems of PerC :) ESTP here, wanted to ask a couple innocent questions. How do you view flirting? What can a guy do to attract you to him? I hope these questions are easy to answer. Thank you in advance!!
 

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I'm pretty awkward for flirting to be honest. I tend to want the guy to make moves first, and once I don't doubt that he has feelings for me, I'll naturally flirt back. To attract me, a guy ha to be sweet and open with me. At first I'm kin of shy so I kind of rely on the guy being a talker and me as a listener, and then I'll start to open up more. As long as I consider you a nice and good person with similar values to me, then I'll definitely like the guy!
 

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Flirting, what IS that? :wink:

Personally, I'm not big on flirting. It sort of makes me nervous and awkward especially when the feeling is not mutual. I prefer someone to approach me intellectually and of course, witty humor doesn't hurt either. I'm attracted to someone who can do equal parts of talking and listening and who is overall, a positive person. I need an engaging conversation as oppose to someone who is easily distracted, which is a major turn off :dry:
 

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flirting is good as long as you can be subtle and not graphic. I like for (pretty much require) a guy to make the first step. Avoid needless touching of an ISFJ when you are new friends.
 
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I think we've pretty much reached the consensus that the guy has to initiate the flirting first, haha. But yeah, I love it when guys show genuine appreciation for things I do and compliment me. It also helps if the guy makes me feel comfortable around him and accepts me with little judgement. Things like that really help me get out of my shell and actually begin talking to them on a deeper level.

In my case, though, I have to be hit on the head with a frying pan before I know someone actually has feelings for me. So yes, after and only after the ISFJ gets comfortable with you, it does help to be direct.
 

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Hehe, I love this thread.

I can definitely tell the subtleties of flirting. For example- looking at someone's eyes a little too long, the slight tone in someone's voice if they're hopefully telling a funny joke/story. A little smile for no reason. I mean. It's just really obvious to me.

BTW Tom Hardy is so manly~~ <3
 

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Subtlety is a dying skill. When I was in the dating scene, I always had to get to know someone on a platonic basis before I could decide if I really liked them. I was more interested in their intentions, b/c I didn't want someone who just wanted to get in my pants. I am highly in tune with people's feelings around me, and am a pretty good judge of character after quietly observing them for a short period of time.

I think a good question for you is: Who would you attract in your current state of mind? An unhealthy mind attracts unhealthy people and visa versa. :) Perhaps this answers why I always attracted men who wanted to get married. LOL
 
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To be honest, I never flirt, nor will I ever understand how to do it. It's just not natural for me.

On the other hand, I don't mind being flirted with as long as it's extremely subtle. ISFJs pick up on simple cues pretty easily, so I like things toned down. I find it kind of cute, in more of a childish way. Maybe it's due to me being so shy and I'm attracted to their charisma. Who knows. :p
 

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To be honest, I never flirt, nor will I ever understand how to do it. It's just not natural for me.

On the other hand, I don't mind being flirted with as long as it's extremely subtle. ISFJs pick up on simple cues pretty easily, so I like things toned down. I find it kind of cute, in more of a childish way. Maybe it's due to me being so shy and I'm attracted to their charisma. Who knows. :p
I have to agree with this. I think our expression of flirting is more one of indirect playfulness. Direct flirting is seen to me as fake and too intense ... my response was to eye roll unfortunately. lol
 
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I don't necessarily try to flirt, but part of my personality is engaging in playful banter which could be friendly or flirty. :p

I like when guys are willing to be playful back at me and become goofy, it brings me out of my shell. I am cautious, and tend to take the "friends first" approach, to gauge comfort and possible interest on both sides.

I hate being put on the spot, or direct pick-up attempts. I will immediately go into flight mode if faced with that.
 
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