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Anyone ever considered starting some sort of penpal thing somehow?

Just a relaxed chat, back and forth. Not too fast otherwise it'll burn out, not too much each time otherwise it'll be tiring, not an obligation to continue otherwise what's the point?

I've always sort of wanted to write a diary, but I can't write very well unless I have the motivation of having someone read it. And if I were just blobbing onto the page I fail to see a point

Anyone up for an experiment?
 

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Anyone ever considered starting some sort of penpal thing somehow?

Just a relaxed chat, back and forth. Not too fast otherwise it'll burn out, not too much each time otherwise it'll be tiring, not an obligation to continue otherwise what's the point?

I've always sort of wanted to write a diary, but I can't write very well unless I have the motivation of having someone read it. And if I were just blobbing onto the page I fail to see a point

Anyone up for an experiment?
Yea sure, no rush or anything. One word at a time. Let me go first- "Um..."
 

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You guys know how one of the ENFJ stereotypes is that they're always in a relationship? Or like that they always have a shit load of people who are interested in them? Well I always hated that stereotype, especially because I'm the exact opposite of it and it makes me feel like I'm not reaching some divine goal put on my head of having romantic interests in every corner. My life has been filled by everything but fruitful love, it's been filled by people who used me romantically and me not realizing it after the fact, it's been filled with dumb high school crushes that just made me feel like a loser every time, and it's been filled with a single, messy, tragic train-wreck of a relationship with an INFJ who was always sure she was better than everyone.

Sorry, I just needed to rant a little. But seriously, who even came up with such a ridiculous stereotype? It's like someone just thought "Oh look at the ENFJs, they're sensitive and understanding and trustworthy and everything that a healthy relationship would need (which is a fallacy by the way), they must be drowning in romance!". Anyone feel me on this?
 

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Mmmm....
In the abyss.
Been there for so long I've come to accept that I might be forever alone.
If so, I'll just focus on my goals.
Ahh... It's lonely at the top isn't it?
But that's okay, because I don't want to live forever anyway, that would be boring.
I don't really want kids. Don't know what to do with them+ my dark side I'm impatient and angry easily and am violent.
There's a few characters I wish were real. xD
I always fall for the ones other people cringe at.
 

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Wow, this was beautifully written and I empathize with the majority of it. As a mystic, I understand and agree with you on the effectiveness and importance of visualization/your own imagination. A good portion of my life I have sought a healer, and "life" kept on affirming that this healer was my own self.. I didn't want to believe it because it seemed so lonely and depressing from my point of view.. But reading this post is "life" reaffirming once again that "YES" I am that healer. I have been that guy that didn't like to loose friends, who had been manipulated for his altruistic ways, who had grown cynical as a result of it, and has always asked himself why did this all occur. I grew more distant, reserved, and silent in the real world, and while others perceived it as either standoffish or unfriendly, sincerely it was my only attempt at safeguarding my own emotions from insensitive and manipulative people. In recent times I've come to terms with my responsibility in pulling myself together, and have just been on the lookout for others who are going through the same. Reading this post made me very happy that I joined Personality Cafe. 😇😇😇

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Why are people sensitive people like me? I don't understand, it's insufficient and non-rewarding being an sensitive bastard like me. You have to be so courageous all the time and you will feel like a lonley ass shit all the time and feel sad, why would you people want to experience the same thing as I do? I don't understand. Please let me be the snowflake I think I am. None knows how I am feeling, please, I can't reciprocate with people having the same issues as I. Please PM me. I want love. :crying:
 

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Why are people sensitive people like me? I don't understand, it's insufficient and non-rewarding being an sensitive bastard like me. You have to be so courageous all the time and you will feel like a lonley ass shit all the time and feel sad, why would you people want to experience the same thing as I do? I don't understand. Please let me be the snowflake I think I am. None knows how I am feeling, please, I can't reciprocate with people having the same issues as I. Please PM me. I want love. :crying:
Aw.

Okay, in social situations which idc for, I can come off as a cold bastard (so, 75% of my life, then it's joke kind of). I find a lot of value in being sensitive, and I'm a...~sensitive~? person myself, and here's why:

-You have the ability to connect, and gain rapport with people faster compared to others, which can be beneficial for numerous reasons (I won't expand because no)
-People around you will like you, or at least accept you
-People can confide in you, and trust you
-You can feel feelings! Holy crap!!!!!!!!! Then, you can respond appropriately to the situation
-It means you care
-Also, along with the other things that was mentioned in the first post in this thread that illustrates how being sensitive is pretty cool

Go onwards, sensitive soul! I would PM but about what tho
 

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Also, to add on to what Megalodonite has said, I think sensitivity or rather, being sensitive to one's own thoughts and emotions brings extraordinary perspective across any person's worldview when examined with care and resilience. And I think that's why people say it's a gift. It's because it is truly beautiful, aesthetically too. It's as Seamus Heaney once said, "The end of art is peace". While you may see it as being a part of why you're in so much pain, try to see it as an opportunity for some of that sombre reflection, those moments you put away for some real thinking :) .

You're definitely not alone in what you're feeling, but my advice is to restrain yourself from letting go and observe! It's easy to place blame, but it's harder to face and challenge the inner conflicts and work to resolve it in a responsible and mature way.

Sorry if this sounds preachy! Did not intend for that effect. But it's usually what I tell myself when things get overwhelming, when it's easier to push the blame onto other things. Hope you're feeling better!
 

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I am so glad I read this. I am just starting a divorce process, from someone that had been feeling exclusively anger and resentment towards me, and was taking everything I did for granted. I felt alone in my couple, together but completely unloved for years, and now I am completely alone, and all I can feel is the pain accumulated from all those years. I can barely function. I have been trying to feel better by helping others and puting on a brave face, but I end up staring at the wall for hours on end.... lost in my inner life, the one I wasn't often able to go to during my relationship, because I was always torn away from it.
Thank you for your insight, our imagination IS a part of ourselves. We were all born with everything we need to be able to face the hardships of life, it is up to us to use the right tool for the right situation.
We are sensitive, but we have a safe place to retreat to and lick our wounds before coming back out to the world again. It is how we manage to love ourselves and know it too.
I must say, you made me cry, but I love you for it. I needed this terribly.
Thank you.
 

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Maybe I will find that idealized lover I dream of, maybe not. The longer I live the more I feel like the man who fell to earth. Finally focusing on myself and making me happy. Still a struggle and definitely fall into a self loathing hole every so often, but c'est la vie. The biggest thing that has helped me is setting up boundaries with people, said or unsaid. Finally noticing how much more I have put into real long term friendships and dialing it back. Reciprocity. Still giving just as much before, but to where it is deserved and appreciated. Also noticing how most people view me as some sort of project--my sensitivity isn't a weakness and I don't need actionable solutions to fix it.

Selene, thank you from the heart for your OP. Touching reassurance that no matter how isolated all of us may feel we aren't alone.

"White collared conservative flashing down the street/Pointing their plastic finger at me/They're hoping soon my kind will drop and die/But I'm gonna wave my freak flag high, high/Wave on, wave on."--Jimi Hendrix
 

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Thank you for this thread. I'd read the first post twice now, it's just what I need except I'm having trouble with the visualization.
Hard to visualize a protector who really loves me since I don't have a lot of experience feeling loved. She would have to be awfully romantic, even sexual - and imagining you doing it with yourself would be just plain weird (dontcha even dare try it).

Then I remembered that I have a fairly musical memory. Sound bites or songs feature in my dreams and they're the parts that I remember and that continue to move me. So if the OP is still around, or a fellow musical/poetic sensitive is reading this, could you please create a verse version of the protector visualization? Like an affirmation in the form of a poem/ firm speech, or a self-love song with music. Pretty pretty please?

I'm saving a copy of the original post to see if I could work around it, make my own "auditory" version.
 

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Thank you for this thread. I'd read the first post twice now, it's just what I need except I'm having trouble with the visualization.
Hard to visualize a protector who really loves me since I don't have a lot of experience feeling loved. She would have to be awfully romantic, even sexual - and imagining you doing it with yourself would be just plain weird (dontcha even dare try it).

Then I remembered that I have a fairly musical memory. Sound bites or songs feature in my dreams and they're the parts that I remember and that continue to move me. So if the OP is still around, or a fellow musical/poetic sensitive is reading this, could you please create a verse version of the protector visualization? Like an affirmation in the form of a poem/ firm speech, or a self-love song with music. Pretty pretty please?

I'm saving a copy of the original post to see if I could work around it, make my own "auditory" version.
I don't know how you could apply this personally, but I have read and noticed that our sense of smell has the most profound ability to conjure memories and break association blockages. A personal example being, I was at a wine tasting with a friend of mine (ExFP I believe) and took a sip of a Cotes du Jura and was flooded with disparate memories all centered around baking bread with various family members, some of whom I had only a single encounter with at a very young age. This was also coupled with visions of walking in the woods at the time black walnuts start to drop off trees and have that pungent odor. Long buried memories and seemingly innocuous, but I don't think they would have surfaced otherwise.

The great thing was when my friend asked what I tasted, I didn't dwell on the experience (very uncharacteristic for me) but told him right away what had happened. His face lit up like July 4th fireworks and began to gush that this is what he feels food and wine are supposed to be about. That kind of sealed our friendship.

Another exapmle--I know some people use an incense particular to the individual when they want to mediate to help mentally and emotionally anchor themselves to previous experiences so they fall into trance more quickly and smoothly.

Hope this helps in any way, Sei35.
 
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You behave as any person in your situation would.
I really need to remember this as it helps me feel less crazy and confused


Isn't that the ultimate fantasy? When we seek love, it's not Prince Charming or the blonde bombshell. It's an angel who floats beside us at all times, and when we are hurt ... blankets us in its wings and makes us feel beautiful. Someone who, every time you look up, looks back with soft eyes, a soft smile, everything soft and gentle. Someone who, no matter how deep you sink, is there smiling lightly, listening and watching.
This actually made me cry as it instantly made me think of my mother. She passed away two years ago and when I think of her she is always using her contagious smile to make me feel happy again. I miss her so much. She was the only person that understood how I really am.


Thanks for sharing your insight and knowledge and thanks for making my day a bit better
Please don't give up on being the way you are - a truly magnificent version of yourself.
 
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Oh boy...

This thread kind of makes me uncomfortable. I'm a sensitive person but I don't like being coddled and told that it's ok to be excessively sensitive and needy.

I see it as a personal weakness, it's something that holds me back from growing and I'd honestly rather be stronger and more resilliant emotionally.

Major props to the whole "imagining your needs being met and feeling a sense of wholeness" explaination though. That is soooo accurate.
 
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