[Chesire Tower]

Approximately, over 10+ years ago; I had the misfortune is coming into contact with psychopath; who would stalk me relentlessly, spread vicious lies about me and even rile up his friends with malicious lies about me; to aid him in his quest, to try his damnedest to drive me off of the internet.

He would follow me to internet chatrooms and get me thrown out - not for anything I was doing but because they accused me of attracting trouble. He encouraged people to harass me on various message boards and send me hate mail.

If I would try to defend himself; he would just up the ante and make everything worse. I know now it was silly but at the time; I was terrified of him and went along with his lies and failed to adequately protect myself. I believe had I not allowed myself to be intimidated by his constant threats and stood up to him; all of this could have been prevented.

Fast forward to the present and I've put this horrible experience behind me but now a former friend of mine (Not from PerC) - we did not end things on a very good note - has been gossiping about me, both behind my back and right in front of me and spreading false information about me. So far, none of it even comes close to what happened to me 10+ years ago but it's still nevertheless freaking me out, because even if it isn't even marginally close to what that person did to me 10+ years ago; it is still a mild form of slander and now, I'm once again beginning to get flashbacks over something I thought I had left permanently in the past.

Any advice, as how to prevent this ex-friend's behaviour from causing me these horrible flashbacks? Thanks.

 

[Lousia]

PTSD is something that you will live with for the rest of your life. Sometimes it will vanish but it's always in your mind. What traumatized you is someone who hurt you deliberately, multiple times, just for the pleasure of hurting you. What seems to be common in both situations is the fact that you feel helpless. PTSD is reliving the same situation all over again, but those are situations you weren't in control. You couldn't have done anything to stop him from hurting you at that point, and that's why it's been triggered by this new situation, which is familiar.

I've had PTSD as well, and some people remind me of that part of my life. What I do is that I try to rationalize it and distance myself from that period of time. You have to do a grieving process and confront your fears at some point. The fact that you write about it is good. Dig into this. Why are you hurt by something so little comparing to what happened to you before ? When you think about what happened to you before, how do you feel ? How do you feel towards your former friend ? Is it different than the way you felt about the psychopath ten years before ? Can you act on it ? If you can, do it, even if it's not as tough as your previous experience. You need to know you can be in control and have a say in your situation. So do so. I was terrified with facing the person behind my PTSD, really petrified. But when I did see him again, it truly was a relief cause then I just knew he was never going to be able to touch me in any way, he just became nobody to me, and the situations he put me into as well.

You need to accept what happened to you and to make yourself able to act on it, you're no longer passive, you can be active and say stop. I swear it helps, and it will make a difference, you will no longer be the victime but the one who stood up and who made it stop.

 

[Zeus]

PTSD is something that you will live with for the rest of your life. Sometimes it will vanish but it's always in your mind. What traumatized you is someone who hurt you deliberately, multiple times, just for the pleasure of hurting you. What seems to be common in both situations is the fact that you feel helpless. PTSD is reliving the same situation all over again, but those are situations you weren't in control. You couldn't have done anything to stop him from hurting you at that point, and that's why it's been triggered by this new situation, which is familiar.

I've had PTSD as well, and some people remind me of that part of my life. What I do is that I try to rationalize it and distance myself from that period of time. You have to do a grieving process and confront your fears at some point. The fact that you write about it is good. Dig into this. Why are you hurt by something so little comparing to what happened to you before ? When you think about what happened to you before, how do you feel ? How do you feel towards your former friend ? Is it different than the way you felt about the psychopath ten years before ? Can you act on it ? If you can, do it, even if it's not as tough as your previous experience. You need to know you can be in control and have a say in your situation. So do so. I was terrified with facing the person behind my PTSD, really petrified. But when I did see him again, it truly was a relief cause then I just knew he was never going to be able to touch me in any way, he just became nobody to me, and the situations he put me into as well.

You need to accept what happened to you and to make yourself able to act on it, you're no longer passive, you can be active and say stop. I swear it helps, and it will make a difference, you will no longer be the victime but the one who stood up and who made it stop.

No, people can overcome it. I once had it and no longer suffer flashbacks or night terrors. I also have a chl incase the person comes back. Op, my suggestion is to file with a attorney at law against the person to deter them, you can sue them civilly for defamation. If your worried that the aspd may come back, get a concealed carry license like me.side note, you need to know what kind of person you are before putting a gun in your hand.

 

[SysterMatic]

What kind of suggestions is get a gun? Lol.
If you feel bad search for help. Go to a psychologist, and talk about it. Sadly you can't do anything about someone else behavior besides trying to ask them to stop. If you can just ignore this person.
Anyway every disease (and everyone) has up and downs and when you're not at the top you need to stay strong. You did overcome it once, you can make it twice

 

[Chesire Tower]

No, people can overcome it. I once had it and no longer suffer flashbacks or night terrors. I also have a chl incase the person comes back. Op, my suggestion is to file with a attorney at law against the person to deter them, you can sue them civilly for defamation. If your worried that the aspd may come back, get a concealed carry license like me.side note, you need to know what kind of person you are before putting a gun in your hand.

How exactly can a gun help you over the internet? LOL And it was my username on that forum and a few other places; which were slandered; so attorneys can't really help you with that. I haven't had any contact in any form, with this individual since 2008; so I'm not worried about that.

 

[Chesire Tower]

What kind of suggestions is get a gun? Lol.
If you feel bad search for help. Go to a psychologist, and talk about it. Sadly you can't do anything about someone else behavior besides trying to ask them to stop. If you can just ignore this person.
Anyway every disease (and everyone) has up and downs and when you're not at the top you need to stay strong. You did overcome it once, you can make it twice

What I have discovered - like any form of bullying - which slander is a part of - is that what all bullies respect is strength, and had I had them courage to stand up to him; right from the beginning, it might never have happened to me in the first place. That is in essence, the had part - forgiving myself for failing to defend myself but what I learned from that experience is; never again will I slow myself to be unrealistically intimidated. I had an emotionally abusive mother who would fly into these hysterical rages at me and I never knew what she'd be capable of; so for a very long time; I'd be extremely intimidated by other people's anger. I think that more than anything made it extremely difficult for me; to defend myself properly.

 

[Chesire Tower]

PTSD is something that you will live with for the rest of your life. Sometimes it will vanish but it's always in your mind. What traumatized you is someone who hurt you deliberately, multiple times, just for the pleasure of hurting you. What seems to be common in both situations is the fact that you feel helpless. PTSD is reliving the same situation all over again, but those are situations you weren't in control. You couldn't have done anything to stop him from hurting you at that point, and that's why it's been triggered by this new situation, which is familiar.

I've had PTSD as well, and some people remind me of that part of my life. What I do is that I try to rationalize it and distance myself from that period of time. You have to do a grieving process and confront your fears at some point. The fact that you write about it is good. Dig into this. Why are you hurt by something so little comparing to what happened to you before ? When you think aboutreally what happened to you before, how do you feel ? How do you feel towards your former friend ? Is it different than the way you felt about the psychopath ten years before ? Can you act on it ? If you can, do it, even if it's not as tough as your previous experience. You need to know you can be in control and have a say in your situation. So do so. I was terrified with facing the person behind my PTSD, really petrified. But when I did see him again, it truly was a relief cause then I just knew he was never going to be able to touch me in any way, he just became nobody to me, and the situations he put me into as well.

You need to accept what happened to you and to make yourself able to act on it, you're no longer passive, you can be active and say stop. I swear it helps, and it will make a difference, you will no longer be the victime but the one who stood up and who made it stop.

Really excellent questions. I think what had happened to me at the time; was that I must have regressed back into my childhood state of suppressing my emotions and being somewhat in denial of what was really going on. That behaviour was necessary in childhood but unhelpful as an adult. Now I try not to deny the truth and I won't allow anyone to cause me to doubt my intuitions, and both toxic individuals and bullies are wont to do that.

I remember in grade 8; there was this girl who kept threatening to cut my hair off and (with her friends) potentially beat me up. I was so stressed out about living in constant fear of this bitch; that one day; I'd finally had enough and figured out that dealing with her worst had to be better than the constant stress I'd been under; so I told her that I wasn't afraid of her and to do her worst. To my utter amazement; she never bothered me again after that.

I think the reason I get triggered is both a combination of my emotionally abusive childhood (by my mom) and of course; this horrible ordeal I went through. Fortunately it is getting better; as I am no longer in denial about what happened and how it has affected me.

As regards to my former friend; I am fortunately able to effectively deal with the situation but what I can't entirely seem to control is the intense emotional reactions I feel; when it happens. I think (hope) I've since nipped it in the bud and it won't be an issue anymore. I do think that it is clearly best if I avoid contact with this individual; as much as humanly possible.

 

[Lousia]

@ClOwNkInG What I mean is that it remains a part of you. For example, if someone tries to trigger my PTSD by making me go through the same experience, I won't react cause I'm over it. But if I see someone else in the same situation, it will come back cause it's the same state of vulnerability and if I'm not able to help that person, it will feel like I'm just back in that state when I was so stuck I had to distance myself from my own body, it's quick and mayfly but present. But honestly, today, in my current state of mind, I'd be doing my best to help that kind of person wouldn't be able to stay still.

@Goblin Tower Avoiding troubles will work for a while, but it's better to confront your deepest fears. I think it's about your mother as well, and about all those times you stood still cause it felt like you couldn't move. Respond to her the way you did with the girl, it will reassure you about the fact that you CAN move and respond. Will enhance self esteem as well.

 

[ricericebaby]

If your worried that the aspd may come back, get a concealed carry license like me.side note, you need to know what kind of person you are before putting a gun in your hand.

What kind of suggestions is get a gun? Lol.

How exactly can a gun help you over the internet?

While @ClOwNkInG's suggestion might seem weird at first (and he may not have caught that the threat was strictly online, not irl), there is actually something to what he's saying.

To get a CHL (Concealed Handgun License) in most states, you need to go though safety classes. The classes teach you the proper use of the firearm, safety, and laws and regulations about them and typically require you to pass a shooting test as well as a written test.

As someone who has gone through (most of) this CHL process, I can tell you it's a major confidence-producer. Knowing that you have the ability to physically defend yourself from pretty much anyone is a big thing, and the feeling of being able to protect yourself physically makes you feel more able to defend yourself emotionally. A similar psychological effect could probably be produced from martial arts based self-defense classes.

 

[dulcinea]

After seeing a lot of your threads, I've been noticing that you give a lot of attention either to extremely toxic people or people who dislike you. I don't understand why you would want to focus on people who make you feel so badly about yourself? On any internet platform there is typically an option to block someone or to ignore them.

You say it's not from perc, so I'll believe you, so I'd see about finding an option to block a person or not be able to see what they posted. I'm sure many internet forums have this option because staff is aware that people, unregulated is a huge mess....unless it's soemthing like reddit. But there, with the anonymity, you can still change your username, etc., and move to different subforums.

My point is, if someone hates you, if someone tears you down, you either ignore them, or make it so they can't.