Fours and suffering

Your hot spots are skills, standards and daydream content. The sooner you let go of using them to become actualized the better. Don't get attached to "fixes."

Becoming formidable and respected is fine, but it itself will never bring you the dignity you truly desire. Any confidence you gain from success while you haven't learned to respect yourself will be misshapen, and weak. Even if your successes make you "the best."

Step away from the daydreams if you need answers. Continue to dream! Just don't use your abilities as an affirmation of your power. Distance from that and the healing can start.

Suffering is part of the deal. I don't think it will ever stop. I deal with it by trying to give meaning to the suffering. Trying to find a way to turn it into something that will help someone else. You need to realize that the world out there is pretty screwed up and even the external things that most people ignore or shrug off are going to affect you a lot. Just try to focus on the good things. Try to focus on what you can do for others. Try to love yourself every day. You can be the one who loves you during the times everyone else seems to be against you. You are the one who will be with yourself every day of your life so you gotta look in the mirror and treat that person with a lot of love.

I thought I'd suffer forever until a year ago when I started Lexapro (an SSRI). It completely flipped things around like magic. Without it, I think I'd still be a ridiculous mess. Now I'm happy, well-adjusted, more outgoing, and focused. I don't feel fake-happy or blank or anything like that. For once I feel like me again, and I still have many emotions. If you're suffering that much, it could be really beneficial for you to seek out a therapist and prescriber. Actually, I don't even see a therapist anymore and am doing well, but when someone's on meds, it's standard protocol.

username123 said:

I thought I'd suffer forever until a year ago when I started Lexapro (an SSRI). It completely flipped things around like magic. Without it, I think I'd still be a ridiculous mess. Now I'm happy, well-adjusted, more outgoing, and focused. I don't feel fake-happy or blank or anything like that. For once I feel like me again, and I still have many emotions. If you're suffering that much, it could be really beneficial for you to seek out a therapist and prescriber. Actually, I don't even see a therapist anymore and am doing well, but when someone's on meds, it's standard protocol.

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did you have any side effects? once a therapist asked me to take SSRIs because i was going through a depressive phase. i told him i'd rather live through my depression and understand it, than numb it. i did get out of it with the help of therapy.

i am for SSRIs in cases where the person's functionality - ability to work and take care of oneself - is significantly affected, but in other cases i am not sure if it's the best thing to do, even without the side effects.

barbara sullivan, a psychotherapist, writes how medication is part of the Enlightenment project from 15th c. onwards to control our environments and make a better life. as opposed to this, another view of emotional distress could be to consider what our difficult emotional states are telling us about our lives, and the message they carry in them for change and renewal. it's tough, but worth a try.

faizafaiz said:

did you have any side effects? once a therapist asked me to take SSRIs because i was going through a depressive phase. i told him i'd rather live through my depression and understand it, than numb it. i did get out of it with the help of therapy.

i am for SSRIs in cases where the person's functionality - ability to work and take care of oneself - is significantly affected, but in other cases i am not sure if it's the best thing to do, even without the side effects.

barbara sullivan, a psychotherapist, writes how medication is part of the Enlightenment project from 15th c. onwards to control our environments and make a better life. as opposed to this, another view of emotional distress could be to consider what our difficult emotional states are telling us about our lives, and the message they carry in them for change and renewal. it's tough, but worth a try.

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First off, I think it's really admirable that you worked through your depression. That's not easy by any means. You must be super strong, and I'm glad you got through it and came out with a better understanding of yourself Unfortunately, I was pretty incapable of functioning - I embarrassed myself repeatedly at my internship and had to go home early a couple times, would sob in the individual bathroom at work & punch myself, was so socially anxious that I was scared to be outside... Now I'm ranting about myself...I definitely agree with you that therapy should be a first choice before medication, and I don't agree with how psychiatric prescriptions are thrown around like candy. I sometimes wonder about the long-term effects of meds on my brain, specifically about my serotonin regulation...
Anyway, the only side effect I had was a huge decrease in libido, which was really annoying since I'm in a relationship, but that went away after maybe 5 months. Also, I've tried other SSRIs in the past, and they always plunged me into this horrible state of depression that I can barely even describe. I'm 22 now and was a teenager then, so that could certainly factor into the drastic difference in my responses to SSRIs. Then again, every SSRI is not a good fit for every person. Another factor that could've affected my differing reactions to the SSRIs is how in the past I began each med on a typical starting dose, but this time my prescriber started me on a very small dose - 2.5mg. I think that made a lottt of difference for me personally because it didn't feel like this insane med-overload that had my brain all amped up and confused. My mom is also really sensitive to SSRIs. Anyway, I thought that was worth mentioning.

username123 said:

First off, I think it's really admirable that you worked through your depression. That's not easy by any means. You must be super strong, and I'm glad you got through it and came out with a better understanding of yourself Unfortunately, I was pretty incapable of functioning - I embarrassed myself repeatedly at my internship and had to go home early a couple times, would sob in the individual bathroom at work & punch myself, was so socially anxious that I was scared to be outside... Now I'm ranting about myself...I definitely agree with you that therapy should be a first choice before medication, and I don't agree with how psychiatric prescriptions are thrown around like candy. I sometimes wonder about the long-term effects of meds on my brain, specifically about my serotonin regulation...
Anyway, the only side effect I had was a huge decrease in libido, which was really annoying since I'm in a relationship, but that went away after maybe 5 months. Also, I've tried other SSRIs in the past, and they always plunged me into this horrible state of depression that I can barely even describe. I'm 22 now and was a teenager then, so that could certainly factor into the drastic difference in my responses to SSRIs. Then again, every SSRI is not a good fit for every person. Another factor that could've affected my differing reactions to the SSRIs is how in the past I began each med on a typical starting dose, but this time my prescriber started me on a very small dose - 2.5mg. I think that made a lottt of difference for me personally because it didn't feel like this insane med-overload that had my brain all amped up and confused. My mom is also really sensitive to SSRIs. Anyway, I thought that was worth mentioning.

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thanks . maybe my depression was not that serious. it did feel serious though.

did the decrease in libido go away 5 months after you went off the SSRI, or were you still on the SSRI when it went away?

thanks for sharing your experience.

faizafaiz said:

did you have any side effects? once a therapist asked me to take SSRIs because i was going through a depressive phase. i told him i'd rather live through my depression and understand it, than numb it. i did get out of it with the help of therapy.

i am for SSRIs in cases where the person's functionality - ability to work and take care of oneself - is significantly affected, but in other cases i am not sure if it's the best thing to do, even without the side effects.

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Props to you for working through it. I view it slightly differently though... now.

I've taken Lexapro in the past for depression, I was functioning fine however I wasn't coping and there was no end in sight. I was so very massssssively apprehensive about SSRIs and had a view similar to what you've posted, viewing drugs as the last resort for those who are unable to rationalise things and help themselves. I was worried about side effects, I was worried about being numb (as a core 9 I was already numb enough!), I was worried that doctors are too willing to throw drugs at people because pharmaceutical companies make it worth the while to be lazy, and I was worried about long term implications.

I tried them after agreeing with myself to monitor things for a period of 2-4 weeks and stopping if I did not like the results. I even expected that to be the result.

Drugs are not for everyone, and the concerns mentioned will be the reality for some people, however the result for me was clarity of thought and the ability to then work through and deal with things without being weighed down by insurmountable pressure and a focus on hopelessness. They worked remarkably well and there was no "copping out" on things, quite the opposite, with clarity of mind there were no excuses for not improving things.

So now my view is this; be wary, be informed and know what your concerns are before taking any SSRI. Monitor your progress, I suggest taking regular notes of your moods, side effects and any other reactions, if after 2-4 weeks there is null or negative change taper off and look elsewhere for answers, however SSRIs are not a last resort, they are not only for those who can't take care of themselves, it is a potential tool that is proven to have an effect and it is worth considering for anxiety and/or depression. Naturally I suggest people consider simple things like cleaner living and exercise as the best first options however it's very difficult for someone to have perspective when depressed, the base is too low to see how things can get better, or even, how bad they currently are.


To answer the OP, the one sure thing is life is not static, how things are for you right now is not how they will be in the future, doesn't mean they will get better, doesn't mean they won't though either. Without specifics one can't say anything that isn't lip service on that topic.

I don't feel I really suffer that much, but I definitely do have intense emotions. I can fairly easily tip into despair... I just fight it and try not to. And the glass is 100% full at all times. Sometimes it's just full of shit, get me? Don't look at what you have and dwell over what is missing. Look at what you have and think of ways to keep it

-Shayde