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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a friend, who is really important to me and who I like. He's an ENTP if that matters.
Unfortunately every time i spend time with him my energy gets drained to the max.
Everytime i leave his house i feel exhausted, can barely "function" and feel like short before passing out. I also feel sick like i didnt eat and drink properly (which i did though).
We arent doing sports together or talking non stop, were actually doing things i usually enjoy like gaming and watching tv shows... these activities normally dont drain my energy even if i do them in company.

I am clueless to why this happens.
It seems kind of pointless to post this but maybe someone has an idea or similar experiences?
Thankful for any help.
 

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I have a friend, who is really important to me and who I like. He's an ENTP if that matters.
Unfortunately every time i spend time with him my energy gets drained to the max.
Everytime i leave his house i feel exhausted, can barely "function" and feel like short before passing out. I also feel sick like i didnt eat and drink properly (which i did though).
We arent doing sports together or talking non stop, were actually doing things i usually enjoy like gaming and watching tv shows... these activities normally dont drain my energy even if i do them in company.

I am clueless to why this happens.
It seems kind of pointless to post this but maybe someone has an idea or similar experiences?
Thankful for any help.
Are you positive that the reaction only occurs around him? For example, does the same thing happen when he visits you in your home? If not, then he isn't the cause. In that case the reaction might rather be a consequence of the act of going to his house (or interacting with something inside of it).
 

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Everytime i leave his house i feel exhausted, can barely "function" and feel like short before passing out. I also feel sick like i didnt eat and drink properly (which i did though).
It sounds like gastric reaction to stress and it's an objective sign that you are stressed and your mind feels endangered.

What his behaviour actually makes you drained?
 

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The most obvious reason could be that it's just because you're an introvert. It can be very draining for introverts to spend a lot of time on social activities. It could be healthy to set some boundaries for yourself and try to limit the length of your time with him if you want to conserve your energy.

It's also possible that you are developing feelings for him / think he might be developing feelings for you and you're not sure on how to handle it. (I'm not implying anything, just throwing the possibility out there).

In any case, this sounds like it could be an Fe thing. I'd guess that with other people you're just focused on the games and movies and with this person there's a reason why you're focused on him too. That can be tiring for a Ti-dominant.

As I said, it's all just guesses, based on little information, but maybe it helps to sort this whole thing out.
 

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I knew it was a bad joke about vampires, but had to do it.
I was in a unisex bathroom awhile back and there was a metal deposit box on the wall beside the toilet. For used feminine hygiene products you understand. Someone had written "Vampire Snacks" in magic marker on the lid. Did you attend Coachella last year? And more importantly if so, did you visit the TA?
 

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The first thing that crossed my mind was overstimulation. Even though you and your friend are doing relaxing or peaceful activities, he might be getting up frequently to get a snack, adjust a wire, check out a stain on the carpet, etc. If you're trying to eat, he might call you across the room to come and look at something. Or he might occasionally make some comment out of nowhere--a thought that crossed his mind, a profound question you aren't ready to answer, wondering what that thing is that he thinks he saw go by the window. . . . Or he might change his mind a lot: "Let's play this game, no this one."

I don't know you or your friend, or what he's doing, but this is what I imagine hanging around with an ENTP would be like. I have ENTP acquaintances, and we get along fine, but spending a lot of time with them would drain my energy.
 

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I'm with @Seq. I think it might be something in his house. Is it like that if you two hang out somewhere else?
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I'm with @Seq. I think it might be something in his house. Is it like that if you two hang out somewhere else?
I would like to answer this but so far we only hung out at his place.
His house and room is pretty clean and i havent noticed anything weird about it.
The place is very rural and i prefer urban places but i dont think that should be energy draining.
I'll see when we hang out somewhere else so thanks for sharing this idea.
 

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I would like to answer this but so far we only hung out at his place.
His house and room is pretty clean and i havent noticed anything weird about it.
The place is very rural and i prefer urban places but i dont think that should be energy draining.
I'll see when we hang out somewhere else so thanks for sharing this idea.
Anything's possible. I asked because that sounds like me after I've been to a place where there's something I'm allergic to. It may be so subtle that others don't notice, perhaps mold or something. It doesn't have to be extreme to cause some people to react. It's a thought.
 

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Top tier extroverts have a almost non existent time delay between the ideas they generate and when it is expressed. Since you both think using the same functions the ideas he shares are very complimentary to your mind and so it is difficult to not entertain it. Ne is like a sponge that absorbs whatever comes in its direction, unlike Ni which is able to better reject information on the basis that it is not cordial to its thought trajectory.

What you describe i experience with ENFPs, although as a person who is in tune with their feelings i know when its time to leave. Maybe it would be a good idea to note down how long it takes to get drained around your ENTP friend, that way you can better manage your energy levels if you have plans before or after. Other factors could be air circulation, i had one friend whose house smelt like expired oxygen every time because their was little ventilation. Headaches every damn time. Also what type of foods are you eating before entering 'demanding conditions'?. Its possible you require more nutrition lol.
 

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I'd like to question whether this friend is in fact an ENFP.

My younger brother is an ENTP and we get along fine. He's basically got the temperament of an introvert but he doesn't interpret the world in quite the same way I do. He doesn't like cynicism at all. This is one of the major differences I find between INTPs and ENTPs. The only other ENTP I knew was in my first year at uni. Again, he was actually quite a solitary guy, liked to study a lot, but I could see clear as day that he was an ENTP. This time the deciding factor was that he loved group study and was part of a lot of university social groups.

The reason I suggest your friend might be an ENFP is because my experience with ENFPs is far more draining. ENFPs have the following traits which grate on me:

  • No filter from brain to mouth. This makes them extremely sharp and verbally capable in any situation, but it also means they say mean or illogical things which they will later claim were not supposed to be taken seriously.
  • Not always rationalised by sound logic, but they truly believe their logic is correct. (e.g. Hitler and Mao were ENFPs... ha!)
  • Only interested in what they are doing, in their life, and anyone who they involve needs to be part of what they are up to.
  • Extremely difficult to have rational discussions with because they are so sure of themselves even when presented with sound counterarguments. They don't want to learn, they believe they are correct from the point they open their mouths.
  • Low empathy. An ENFP who tells you they know how you feel, is an ENFP who enjoys the fact that they know how you feel.
  • Seem convinced the whole world is, or should be, of the same opinion as they are.
  • For all their negative traits, they somehow manage to give an air of moral virtue, as if they are beyond critique.


My experience of ENFPs is often quite draining. Doesn't feel like a two-way social interaction a lot of the time.

For what it's worth, an ex girlfriend of mine is ENFP, I loved her deeply and we were together almost 2 years. It only ended because of distance issues. She had about 50% of the traits I've listed above. A girl I'm currently 'dating' is also ENFP. She has about 60% of the above traits and for this reason I very recently decided I don't have much romantic interest any more. And finally, my flatmate is an ENFP and he exhibits almost all of the traits I've listed above. As much as we are good friends, I can honestly say he is impossible and yes it does drain me.

Sadly I don't have a solution, other than to say "your friend might well be an ENFP too", and if so, just thicken your skin and take it in your stride. Remind yourself that not everyone is like this.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I'd like to question whether this friend is in fact an ENFP.

My younger brother is an ENTP and we get along fine. He's basically got the temperament of an introvert but he doesn't interpret the world in quite the same way I do. He doesn't like cynicism at all. This is one of the major differences I find between INTPs and ENTPs. The only other ENTP I knew was in my first year at uni. Again, he was actually quite a solitary guy, liked to study a lot, but I could see clear as day that he was an ENTP. This time the deciding factor was that he loved group study and was part of a lot of university social groups.

The reason I suggest your friend might be an ENFP is because my experience with ENFPs is far more draining. ENFPs have the following traits which grate on me:

  • No filter from brain to mouth. This makes them extremely sharp and verbally capable in any situation, but it also means they say mean or illogical things which they will later claim were not supposed to be taken seriously.
  • Not always rationalised by sound logic, but they truly believe their logic is correct. (e.g. Hitler and Mao were ENFPs... ha!)
  • Only interested in what they are doing, in their life, and anyone who they involve needs to be part of what they are up to.
  • Extremely difficult to have rational discussions with because they are so sure of themselves even when presented with sound counterarguments. They don't want to learn, they believe they are correct from the point they open their mouths.
  • Low empathy. An ENFP who tells you they know how you feel, is an ENFP who enjoys the fact that they know how you feel.
  • Seem convinced the whole world is, or should be, of the same opinion as they are.
  • For all their negative traits, they somehow manage to give an air of moral virtue, as if they are beyond critique.


My experience of ENFPs is often quite draining. Doesn't feel like a two-way social interaction a lot of the time.

For what it's worth, an ex girlfriend of mine is ENFP, I loved her deeply and we were together almost 2 years. It only ended because of distance issues. She had about 50% of the traits I've listed above. A girl I'm currently 'dating' is also ENFP. She has about 60% of the above traits and for this reason I very recently decided I don't have much romantic interest any more. And finally, my flatmate is an ENFP and he exhibits almost all of the traits I've listed above. As much as we are good friends, I can honestly say he is impossible and yes it does drain me.

Sadly I don't have a solution, other than to say "your friend might well be an ENFP too", and if so, just thicken your skin and take it in your stride. Remind yourself that not everyone is like this.

I actually have a female ENFP "friend"... and I have to say you described her perfectly lol.
She is a nice person but very draining and I could not spend more than around 3 hours with her.

The friend I am talking about in this thread though is an ENTP for sure.
He is a very logical and rational person and i highly appreciate his presence and "how his mind works".
The only time when i could apply some of the descripions you listed, was when he was in a bad mood and rather grumpy... which is a rare case.
I think the reason why this happened lays in @Drecon 's post. Hes a lot nicer and more "emotional" with me than with other people and my garbage developped Fe gives me trouble etc. etc...

Thanks a lot for your detailed answer though, that was very interesting to read.
I didnt expect Hitler and Mao to have this type (or I guess I never thought about it properly)... the more you know.
 

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Have you considered this to be anxiety related? Feeling like passing out is a step above introversion. Introverts tend to get tired, spacey, irritated, ect when over stimulated- it's all emotional. But what you describe sounds physical and stress related (if it's not a strange allergy thing).
 

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It's normal for anyone in close proximity to the ENTPecies to experience diarrhea, vomiting, general bodily spasming, ect.
 
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