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Hay INFJays

So my friend(ESFJ) who I've been best friends with since we were 3 year old is keeping his distance from me. Whenever I'm around his other friend, that friend always brings up what they did together last night, to which my friend would subtly try to get him to stop talking about it in front of me.

Basically, I know the reason that he doesn't call me up as much anymore is because I come off as weird to him. I can keep him laughing constantly for 2 hours if I want to, but "weirdness" is always the most obvious quality about me in his eyes.

Can anyone else relate to friends not wanting to be with you because you are not completely conformed to society? :p
 

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LOL I would think weirdness or individuality would be ideal considering all the Lady Gaga music and Elton John fashion. I am definitely weird but most people find it charming or alluring and the rest just laugh at it. I'm not sure about what to say about your friend maybe it's just to do with his new friend and what he thinks of you? If it gets too much you could always say something :)
 

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People... people are complicated.
I admit I act that way towards friends sometimes, but usually it's because I worry that one of my friends will get on the nerves of/start a fight with another of my friends. Basically, I'm a very patient person, so I have some friends who require a lot of patience to be around, but who don't have the patience to deal with one another.
But even so... that's really weird that he doesn't want his friend talking to you about what they did last night. Unless it was something you might find offensive or something... in that case your friend from 3 years old might be trying not to offend you.
~Shrug~ I'm certain there are pieces to this story I don't have, so I guess I don't have the best answer.
 

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lol if that were a deciding factor i would have alot less friends XD
 

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This really depends on how weird you are. I'm pretty weird and went through the same thing when I was a teenager. I had great friends but when they reached a certain age they started wanting to fit in and they left me behind. There was no way I could fit in, I've never been able to, and everyone agrees that I'm weird. Same thing happens to my bf.

Now, I misread my friends a little bit. It wasn't just the weirdness it was other stuff too. But has anyone actually called you weird to your face, including this guy, or told you they're embarrassed about you? If they have then fair enough, the same happened to me and it's rubbish, but people are more open to difference when they're older so just hang on.

If nobody has told you this to your face, why do you think it might be true? Is there any way that maybe you're trying to read your friend's mind here? He might not be doing this because he thinks you're weird and you've said how he gets on with you. Sometimes friends do stuff together. My best mate hangs around with another of my mates all the time without telling me but it doesn't really mean anything. However, I think this friend might feel embarrassed when it's brought up because she worries I might be upset that I wasn't invited. In reality, I'm not offended, because I don't know this friend she hangs around with as well as her and they might not be able to talk about everything around me. Besides, I spend plenty of time alone with most of my friends.

By the way, no one dislikes weirdness per se. One of my greatest friends is extremely eccentric but she is and always has been EXTREMELY popular with all types. She is impossible not to love, even though most of the things she says make no sense or you're struggling to catch up with her thought patterns (she's an ENFP and sometimes it's like she's missed out a whole train of thought and just said the end bit!) I'm no weirder than her but the reason she's popular and people fear me is that she is loud and confident and happy. She says weird things with gusto and when people look at her oddly she laughs at herself. People love it. I say weird things quietly and, unless I'm around my friends, I don't laugh at myself afterwards - or if I do it sounds stunted. It comes off differently. But basically, weirdness and confidence is GREAT!!!
 

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I've heard many people label me as crazy. And these are the same people that proceed to cut off all contact once they've graduated. Like tossing me aside like I don't matter. And then when I make contact with them they call me an insensitive ass because I didn't know something that had happened to them in the meantime ("hey, you should buy a new computer, we can play this awesome new thing", "I don't have money..." "well scrape it off, its only 700" - later on I hear that they're supporting their parents or something). Right. Because they never told me. Then it just reinforces the crazy and ...anger....

Its too easy to give someone a label and forget about them as a human being these days. I detest it thoroughly. Because once that label is applied, its like I *really* don't matter.
 
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An ISTJ friend made it blatantly obvious. He has had two 'sets' of friends over the years. When he wanted 'geek it out' he would hang with me and a couple others.

But when he wanted to be 'gucci', 'tommy hilfiger', or now 'Aeropostle', he would hang out with them.

There was no interaction between the two sets of friends. Very strange indeed.
 

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..Agreed.I think for some(INFJ)me.Only our friends and family can hurt us.Relevant statement for me too.I feel this way sometimes,i hate it.People usually like"Weirdness"But not in"One's Life".My own Insecurity.
 

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I've heard many people label me as crazy.
Yep, me too. Try to remember that if people think you are crazy it is because you wouldn't be compatible in a relationship/friendship. So you have lost nothing.

And these are the same people that proceed to cut off all contact once they've graduated. Like tossing me aside like I don't matter.
I had this but it was to do with my friends a) thinking I liked me (evil!) bf more than them - the opposite of the truth! and b) them being embarrassed to be around me because they had gone from outcasts to most popular and didn't want an outcast with them anymore. Some people care about their image because they don't have self confidence. If you know that you're ok then you're ok and you don't need other people to tell you you're cool! Unfortunately some people really take this social status stuff to heart - I guess they haven't really got anything else in their lives so it becomes their lives - and those are the most likely to ditch people if they are getting in the way.

And then when I make contact with them they call me an insensitive ass because I didn't know something that had happened to them in the meantime ("hey, you should buy a new computer, we can play this awesome new thing", "I don't have money..." "well scrape it off, its only 700" - later on I hear that they're supporting their parents or something). Right. Because they never told me. Then it just reinforces the crazy and ...anger....
Ok, you had good intentions. I'm going to have to be honest and admit that when my friends tell me I should just buy something because it's only "£...." I am insulted. I've never been well-off and this was embarrassing as a teenager when my friends tried to lend me money to buy clothes with them and said we'd just draw up an IOU - they didn't understand that I would never have the money to pay them back. Basically, people without money are often embarrassed to complain about it. Stay away from money and you should be fine! I think your intentions were good and your friend was not able to read you here, though. Often my friends also read "I don't have the money" as "If I spend the money I will struggle" when I actually mean "I literally don't have as much money as that thing costs - I have less money in my ownership than that". I understand that they are just from a different background though so I don't get too pissed off (well...sometimes I do..."it's you're turn to buy tickets to this comedy gig", "I know, I get paid on Thursday", "but I want them now!", "It's only three days away! Why don't you buy yours and I'll buy mine if you need them right away, because I don't have the money". "I don't understand why you don't just get a credit card for these situations" - WHAT?!)
 

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Hay INFJays

So my friend(ESFJ) who I've been best friends with since we were 3 year old is keeping his distance from me. Whenever I'm around his other friend, that friend always brings up what they did together last night, to which my friend would subtly try to get him to stop talking about it in front of me.

Basically, I know the reason that he doesn't call me up as much anymore is because I come off as weird to him. I can keep him laughing constantly for 2 hours if I want to, but "weirdness" is always the most obvious quality about me in his eyes.

Can anyone else relate to friends not wanting to be with you because you are not completely conformed to society? :p
I will revert my story with my best-est friend in the whole word (sorry, I'm 30 - but this dudette is someone I'd kill for!)

We met in 1996. And in 1998, this guy just shut me out of his life completely - so we went from hanging out like 10-12 hours a day to zilch, nada, nothing. And he had the same thing going on with other friends.

Well, I felt hurt and really annoyed at the same time. I let this go on for about 6 months and then just one day walked up to his freaking house and banged his door down ... and guess what I see ... women's clothing all over his room ! So he'd been shutting me out because he was actually a she and since i was from a completely different culture, she was afraid that I would kick her out of my life - so she acted pre-emptively and kicked me out of hers. Let me tell you ... we haven't met since 1999 (because she moved to another city after graduating high school) - and for 11 years, we haven't let a week go by without talking to each other. Her girlfriend of 8 years (whom I haven't met) calls me long-distance, or gets me on facebook every time she (my friend) has a spaz out because she can't be truly free about her desire to be a woman instead of a man.

Point is ... you'll never find out the truth till you go knock some sense into your friend. And if he's really a friend - then you guys will never grow apart. But if he doesn't like you for who you are, you can't force him.

You just have to find it in yourself to at least talk to him about whatever the issue is. And if then things don't work out, and if he still avoids you, you have to find the strength in yourself to let him go. It's the toughest thing for an INFJ - but son, there's a lot of heartbreak in life without us creating our own by over-analysing and not responding with the appropriate action to watch out for our best interests! You need to be with people who like you for who you are ! And you have to repeatedly tell yourself that you deserve it.

It's not the loss itself that we fear - but the fear of the loss that keeps us latched on to emotionally unhealthy relationships. Think about that for a moment.
 

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f*ck 'em.....see if you ever help them again, they may never realize when they need you the most as a friend.

 
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Distance yourself and seek new friends... there's a big world out there, so there is no reason to limit yourself and feel "stuck" with one or a couple people to be friends with.

... I can certainly empathize though because I often felt like this when "trapped" in grade school and high school.
 

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I find all my friends are nothing better than watching the moon cross the sky, they wax and wane, and leave again, and when they return, who knows if they are ever the same, gone to the dark side of the moon, with new faces crossed into the light. I want a friend who is like the north star, always there to guide me home. I want a love that is like the shine of the sun, constant and forever, burning brightly through the clouds and rain, for with life could not sustain.
 

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... and I'm also going to add that even now being in my mid-20s, I think I'm even more confident in my "weird" nature because I just don't really care because truly there is no "normal" or "weird".

That being said... today I was a sub in the morning for middle school kids and while sitting in a study hall for 6th graders I started making myself a little "to-do list". Several of the things I was listing on their and random ideas of possibilities I was writing down were not necessarily things I would disclose and share with people because I know they'd think "Wtf..."

A couple of the things I put to research and look up on were some jobs I may like to pursue later in life... then at the bottom of my to-do list I wrote a Thomas Edison quote down that the teacher had on the wall that I felt would be worth me keeping.
Well, needless to say... when I left and looked for my list in my purse, I realized that I left it on his desk. So, when he comes in and looks at his desk he will find it... a few years ago I would've been embarrassed about this, but right now I'm like "So he might think some of the things I wrote were weird... so what? Its my life and dreams..."
 
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... and I'm also going to add that even now being in my mid-20s, I think I'm even more confident in my "weird" nature because I just don't really care because truly there is no "normal" or "weird".

That being said... today I was a sub in the morning for middle school kids and while sitting in a study hall for 6th graders I started making myself a little "to-do list". Several of the things I was listing on their and random ideas of possibilities I was writing down were not necessarily things I would disclose and share with people because I know they'd think "Wtf..."

A couple of the things I put to research and look up on were some jobs I may like to pursue later in life... then at the bottom of my to-do list I wrote a Thomas Edison quote down that the teacher had on the wall that I felt would be worth me keeping.
Well, needless to say... when I left and looked for my list in my purse, I realized that I left it on his desk. So, when he comes in and looks at his desk he will find it... a few years ago I would've been embarrassed about this, but right now I'm like "So he might think some of the things I wrote were weird... so what? Its my life and dreams..."
haha gurl i like u but like i didnt read all that cuz u write 2 much which is annoying and embarrissing for u no offence

i dont hang out with wierd ppl cuz it makes u look wierd and then its like eww
i just get normal friends cuz normal ppl are the 1s who count!

just stop being wierd and maybe hed like u

-Steph xoxo
 

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haha gurl i like u but like i didnt read all that cuz u write 2 much which is annoying and embarrissing for u no offence

i dont hang out with wierd ppl cuz it makes u look wierd and then its like eww
i just get normal friends cuz normal ppl are the 1s who count!

just stop being wierd and maybe hed like u

-Steph xoxo
I didn't realize that trolls came in hello kitty form...
 

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I laugh in the face of trolls. Hahahahahaaah!

Oh, I'm certain they come in all forms. I prefer Hello Kitty to some others, meself. :p
 

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I laugh in the face of trolls. Hahahahahaaah!

Oh, I'm certain they come in all forms. I prefer Hello Kitty to some others, meself. :p
im not a trollllllllll and i know that thats not a good thing so dont say that when im new here

my brother got me on here and hes INFJ

-Steph
 
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