Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 26 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,970 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Have you ever had a period in your life where you were completely friendless?

I don't have any friends at the moment and it kind of sucks, I finished up college and had to move away from mine in December.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
751 Posts
I find it very believable that an ISFP might be left without friends! :sad: I have such a hard time making them myself. I didn't have any friends in my first few years of secondary school. I was so jealous and unhappy back then, I would act irrationally and draw attention to myself, and then shove people away whenever I actually got it.

I've been made more aware of that situation through contemplating moving away to another country. Imagining myself trying to make friends in a whole nother language...seems near impossible. All part of the challenge of course.

I see now why you're such a regular poster at the moment. :happy: Feel free to pop a message in my visitor box if you feel like talking or whatever.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
456 Posts
Well, I am going through kind of a dry spell right now, thanks to the fact that I recently moved to Canada to be with my love. I don't know many people yet, and my partner is even less social than I am, lol.

It's kind of hard having no friends to chill with, but I'm finding I can hold out ok for now I'm thinking though it's because I have a huge manga project I'm working on with my love that keeps me quite busy, and I've found a couple good sites where I can socialize and help people (indulging my Type 2 self here lol).

I'm not a permanent resident yet in Canada, so I can't work or really volunteer which really sucks. Stupid red tape. :C I should be able to live and work wherever the heck I want to so long as I know the language, am able bodied, and am not a criminal. Stupid rules.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Benja

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,970 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Do you guys think you could live happily without friends?

Like, would it be possible?


As I grow older, I'm getting better at it, I wonder if I will eventually no longer feel like I need them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
172 Posts
I am an ISTP, and my best friend is an ISFP. Long story short, if it weren't for me, she would not have ANY friend in the town we live in. She's really shy to strangers.

and I don't think ISFP's could live happily without friends. My friend thinks she would be fine without friends, but she obviously can't.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
172 Posts
She misses people and cares. She seeks human interactions but only with the ones she already feels comfortable with.
She gets homesick, and actually enjoys sharing thoughts and expressing.

On the other hand, being with people sincerely irritates me. Any kind of feeling or emotion talk makes me uncomfortable.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
456 Posts
Do you guys think you could live happily without friends?

Like, would it be possible?


As I grow older, I'm getting better at it, I wonder if I will eventually no longer feel like I need them.
Is this simple curiosity, or are you seriously considering doing such? D:

Either way, I think it's very possible, though you might wind up feeling the need to socialize regardless. Going without friends is one thing, but wholly shutting out any socialization is another.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Benja

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,053 Posts
I've been there. I had old friends to talk to now and again, but they where all away at university so I basically had no one to hang out with.

I didn't mind having a lot of time alone, being alone doesn't really bother me at all. It gives me time to concentrate on me, which with Fi I pretty much love doing. ;) I actually cannot be around people for too long without getting fed up anyway. Even when I have a boyfriend I have to take personal time away. Days pass, and I forget to contact them because I am in a severe introvert mode.

Since I have been back to college again, this year I have made some new friends. I don't find it hard to make friends, but it's keeping them because of lack of activity with them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,970 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
@firedell I'm the same way.

I love my time alone a lot, sometimes too much, and I find it hard keeping in contact with people sometimes because all the stuff I love doing so much on my own I rarely get to do when I'm with most people. So I end up giving up one thing for another, usually choosing to do what I like over hanging out.

I want to have my cake and eat it too, and I did back at my college town. I was good friends with two other introverts and we were into some of the same things, it was magnificent! We would come out into the light once or twice a week, meet up, and actually have some interesting, deep conversations while we went on beautiful nature walks. This is what I miss when I think of friendship, such a rare thing.

@Sayonara

I'm already doing such, this is the current state of affairs in my life.
I socialize at work and with my family though, so I'm not talking about never interacting with people, I just don't have friends to do stuff with.

@DamonL

Are you irritated when you're with your best friend? I can understand being irritated with people, I have a hard time finding people who understand my way of living.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
213 Posts
That doesn't sound fun:/ Sorry to hear that. I had a period like that when I was younger.

Now I "know" a lot of people, but I only hang out with a few. I miss my ENFP friend who doesn't live near me anymore.. Cuz we could hang out spontaneously. Don't have a lot of those, that I'm close enough with to just call when I feel like it.

I don't think ISFPs would be happy without friends, because for me they are like the key ingredient to my happiness.

As I've gotten older I find it easier to relate to all sorts of people.. and I've become more extraverted when I'm around them. That is nice.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,583 Posts
I've been there, I sustained myself through online friends. Which wasn't bad, but it wasn't ideal. Not that I realised at the time.

It took me three years in high school to figure out who my real friends were, now I know I couldn't be happier. I think it's possible to have no real friends, but when you do have friends you realise how much you missed having them. Sadly in two years I probably won't see any of my current friends ever again, at least not regularly... I may end up stuck in the same situation as you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Benja

·
Registered
Joined
·
277 Posts
I have now been pretty much friendless for about 2-3 years...I mean, I have about 4 friends now but I see them maybe 3-4 times a year! So I don't class them as friend-friends. I haven't yet met anyone with the same interests, views and ideas as me so I find it extremely hard. I get terribly lonely because I would love to have even just 1 good friend who I could spend time with regularly, who is like-minded...I have my husband who is my only real friend atm but I want someone to go out with and just be girly and silly with.

I often think I'm just going to go through life completely friendless...and it really upsets me. The last couple of days I have been feeling really down about it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
40 Posts
I have always been like this, unfriendly. Some people try to approach me, but I usually ignore them. I feel annoyed around people.
But still, I have got some friends... Virtual friends... whom I appreciate.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
475 Posts
I've hit a rough patch as far as irl friends go(internet friends are an exception)... just finished high school, everybody has gone their separate ways and tbh engineering students aren't the sort of people I can just hit it off with. Maybe when I switch to something else :happy:
 

·
Heretic
ESI 5w4 9w8 2w1
Joined
·
10,703 Posts
Yes.
I have had several periods of my life without friends.
It is not a nice feeling.
The problem with having no friends is that you can get kind of desperate after a while and overwhelm
any new friend by being to needy.
You should work on getting at least 3 people as a minimum who you hang out with.

Friend is a very ambigous term, one persons friend is another persons aquaintance.
If you have someone to talk to and do activities with you will feel better and you will attract more people.
The main point in having people who want to hang out with you is that you should be offering
value to them on some level. Sharing an interest is an offering of value for example.
When you have value to people they will seek you out. :)
Having and getting friends is a balancing game. You have to balance time, value, availability and many other factors.
Everyone have their own take on it, find one that works for you and become good at it.

If you can find some find of activity friend finder site on the net it can help you get started.
Meeting new people to do something you like could bring you over the top and help you get some aqaintances again.
Maybe even a friend or two. To have friends you need a larger pool of aqaintances.

Hope you find what you are looking for.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,261 Posts
I have recently come to the conclusions that i there is no more denying I've entered a bout of depression, which i think is caused by me not socializing for the past year and pretty much not contacting any of my friends for months.

So i'm trying my best to hang with my best pal again... it's been over a year hopeful we can pick up where we left off in the best case scenario. He's my only friend who actually understands me and the only one who i don't mind chilling with any time any place. a very rare thing for me.

I thought i could be pretty content without friends, but after a while it gets to you and you realize that friends are a key ingredient to life. So glad i have family around me, and that i came to this realization sooner rather than later. any longer and i might not be able to get my friends back...*touch wood*
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,970 Posts
Discussion Starter #18
The main point in having people who want to hang out with you is that you should be offering
value to them on some level. Sharing an interest is an offering of value for example.
When you have value to people they will seek you out. :)
This is fucking brilliant!

This idea of value sheds light on the whole problem I'm having.

I can't find people that offer me value and can imagine I'm not offering much to others because they're not offering much to me.

I'm going to have to think about this more in depth.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
312 Posts
I feel like that from time to time, and the longest I've ever felt that way was for about half a year - the first semester of my first year in uni. Separated from my high school friends I didn't think would be that lonely, but before I knew it, an empty feeling had built up, and it felt like everyday was spent on auto pilot, going to uni, going back home. I remember that emptiness, and I think that that has built up a fear in me that I might experience it again some day. Although I've found a lovely little niche for myself now, I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully trust that they wont leave me some day.

It's an incredibly overwhelming feeling of sadness that is hard to shake away completely. As introverted as I am, as much as I never want to go out with said friends, I want to be secure in the knowledge that someone has my back. The world is made of stupid people, but as individuals, I like them very much.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Luftkopf and Benja

·
Registered
Joined
·
39 Posts
I've been through that. After high school, while everybody moved away for school or got jobs, I was at home being a NEET. For about a whole year, I was at home doing nothing. Naturally, I spent a whole year without friends or company (other than my family of course). I was playing a lot of World of Warcraft back then so I never felt isolated or friendless.
 
1 - 20 of 26 Posts
Top