[LaunchOctopus]

I apologise if this has been discussed before any time in the recent past. This question has just occurred to me while reading posts in other unrelated threads. I am someone who, since maybe middle school, seems to have a general preference for older people as conversation partners, especially those who are educators. It started with simple things like, for example, being in middle school and sitting at the front of the bus and enjoying casually chit-chatting with the bus driver about the Republican elections at the time, and has since become more pronounced, with me acquainting with and being on good terms with all of my professors, and even befriending a few (high school as well as college). I tend to prefer these people for their knowledge and ability to have intellectual discussions, but also because, by virtue of being older, they satiate my love of history by answering any questions I have about what this or that detail was like in the 70s, 80s, and so on. Obviously, I have acquaintances (and a few friends) my age-range, but, generally speaking, they're more like fun friends for dicking around with. I am currently 19 and a half and my best friend for the last four or so years has been a man I talk to over the internet in Pennsylvania who is now in his early 30's. Obviously, this isn't only an INTP thing, but having met at least one person my age-range (an ENFP) who explicitly showed no interest in or understanding of why they would befriend their professors, or older people in general, it must not be universal. I suppose I don't really have a question or point to make...just wondering, do any of you have any similar experience or any insight about it?

 

[Sillyasuarus]

Yes. I'm 54 and I've always preferred talking to older people, for exactly the reasons you give.

 

[ai.tran.75]

I'm 32 now- but ever since I was a kid I have always been drawn to conversing with older people and likewise they enjoy my presence. All of my teachers and professors remembers who I am and have formed close relationship with me . I'm the only grandchild my intp grandmother is affectionate towards and since she helped raised me - I grew up conversing a lot with her and her friends ( my grandmother is 101 now).
My Entp father is my best friend and mentor -he's 78
Most of my cousins considered me their best friend and I'm 20 years younger than they are.

Likewise most of my friends are older than I am -
Many of my friends are 10-20 years my senior
I recalled working at borders cafe( I was 19) and I befriended an anthropologist ( professor from Stanford) and an editor ( with whom I'm still close with to this day ) - many customers enjoy conversing with me.
With that said- I enjoy talking to people around my age as well ( 30-35) and since I run a learning center - I communicate with kids/teenagers on a daily basis and often time I'm shocked by how much they know.
I live in Palo alto - so most of the people I know are well educated ( have masters and phds) likewise I was raised by a family of educators- something that I'm fortunate of.
I don't really differentiate ages nor care how old a person is- but again I'm an Enfp



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[LaunchOctopus]

In the shower (this morning) I noticed for the first time a weird tube of conditioner (probably my mother's or grandmother's) with the tagline "Superior Preference". I'll be taking that as a good omen for this thread.

 

[HeadofHudet]

I don't know about you, but isn't "dicking around with" what friends are practically all about? I wouldn't call people who are merely good conversation partners friends.

But yes, if it's talking I want then I prefer talking with people who are good at holding conversations, and those people usually have a few more years under the belt.

 

[IgnorantBliss]

I've always enjoyed talking to adults. Could be because they acted more mature than my friends. But, mainly I enjoyed the deep conversations I had with them, especially with my grandfather. Our discussions usually ended up with me contemplating about it for days.
I had a chat with two 40 year olds for a game we played. Sometimes, they would start talking about their life and all, and I enjoyed reading their witty, yet deep comments. Unfortunately, I stopped playing the game, and now we rarely talk to one another. But, I can admit they were easily one of my best friends.
I can't see myself being friends with educators though. As much as I would like to, I respect them and it gets in the way of being friends with them. This happened last week.
ME: *Sees teacher and forces myself to conversate* Hey, miss, you were absent yesterday, where were you?
Teacher: *Surprise at seeing me initiating a conversation* Oh, hi IgnorantBliss, I was at a funeral.
Me: Oh....
*Awkward silence*
Yeah...not gonna happen.:frustrating:

 

[LaunchOctopus]

I don't know about you, but isn't "dicking around with" what friends are practically all about? I wouldn't call people who are merely good conversation partners friends.

People who are only for dicking around and people who are only for intellectual conversations = Acquaintances
People who are good for both = Friends

I can't see myself being friends with educators though. As much as I would like to, I respect them and it gets in the way of being friends with them.

Hmm, you're right, I was being too vague. I don't have any of my past professors as social media friends or their phone numbers or anything. It's just that I occasionally talked and joked with some of them on campus and such whenever I saw them. As Ai Tran said, "All of my teachers and professors remembers who I am". That story is pretty awkward, but I'd like to think she now appreciates you more for being interested in where she's been...!

 

[MelusinaAmpersand]

I spent much of my childhood preferring the company of adults.

 

[islandlight]

In general, no. I don't care how old someone is, but older acquaintances usually end up trying to push some opinion or advice at me, so they become authority figures rather than friends. This might be because I've lived a very unsettled life (frequent job changes, etc.), so they see me as some kind of failure who needs their help.

Now that I'm past middle age, it is nice to have some friends of similar age who have similar concerns, e.g., health, impending death. But young people nowadays are awesome.

 

[smallpetal]

I’m an ESFJ (though close on the S/N and F/T lines), and I strongly identify with your post. Since elementary school, I have been drawn to friendships with my teachers and older individuals. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m an only child who spent a good deal of time around adults and cousins who were older than while growing up, but I have found myself preferring the company of older individuals often throughout the years, especially that of educators. In middle school, high school, and college, I formed good friendships with several teachers and still keep in touch with some of them. Although I considered them amongst my best friends at the time, I’m realizing now that these weren’t truly full friendships, as they were not entirely mutual. My teachers liked me, enjoyed my company, and shared things with me, but understandably they had limits since they knew me as their student. Now, however, my closest friend (not my teacher) is almost double my age, and I can say that this is a true friendship. It is the best friendship I have ever experienced, and I think that the age difference is one of the best parts of it. I am very fortunate that my friend is an INTP—older and wiser and smarter! (Even though I am an ESFJ, I think that INTP is the best personality.) Having an older friend is a rare and and amazing blessing. I’m sure that those of you who also posted about valuing the company of older friends will agree that there is something special about having a friend who gives you wise advice gained from his or her own experience, has a mature view of the world, engages in intellectual conversation on a wide variety of topics, and can spar with you with great wit. I can’t really imagine asking advice from my peers all of the time, as they are generally in the same inexperienced boat as me. Apart from close friendships, I also just often prefer conversing with people older than I am in general. I do wonder if it is because I spent so much around older people growing up. For those of you who have agreed with the original post, did you also spend a lot of time with adults when you were younger?

 

[Cal]

I personally find older people(especially educators) hard to be friends with, due to their tendency to somewhat baby or not take me seriously(mostly because they think that me being quiet=me being retarded). I have made friends with adults before, but I personally do not like the vibe as much in comparison to having friends my age.

I personally do not care much about making friends though, hence why it took me 5 months to become acquaintances with the people who would later become my friends. That is also why I am the only kid in my now very small group of friends, who has not made a single friend herself.

 

[SouDesuNyan]

No, I don’t have age nor profession preference. I do have a preference for people who don’t talk all the time though.

I also notice that people like to stick with their age group. That has never been the case for me. Everything external, including people, is very fuzzy to me, so when I talk to a person, it’s like I’m talking to some conscious thing— I do notice external appearance, but my mind just ignores it when I listen. I also consider myself to be some kind of conscious thing, and it’s been like this since I was young before I’ve had any exposure to spirituality.

I can find patterns between different people easily because of this. Their personality, food preference, hobbies, etc. can be easily extracted from my past data. Unlike most INTPs, I can read people like books.. but I’m type 9 enneagram, which is atypical for an INTP.