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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been thinking about this the last few days, and wondered if this is common among our type.

What age were your childhood friends? Younger? Older? About the same? As I look back at my own childhood, I've noticed how a majority of my friends were several years older than me. Constantly told by adults that I was "mature for my age", my childhood friendships seemed to mirror that same thought. While I did become friends with peers my age, I found much more satisfaction with those older than me, mainly because I seemed to identify with their positions in life.

However, this could also be a result of my family; siblings with a very wide age gap. I am the youngest, and if I didn't act older, my siblings wouldn't give me the time of day.

Thoughts?
 

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I represent the opposite.

While I have received the same compliment that I'm "too mature for my age", I haven't quite matured mentally. Also, in contrary to yourself, the friends I keep are usually a year or two younger than me.

Interesting speculation, though!
 
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I definitely relate. When I was a sophmore in high school, all my friends were seniors. I was always very comfortable with adults too. I'm almost 35 now, and many of my freinds are 10, 20, even 30 years older than me.
 
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A lot of my friends were older - much older. When I was 11 I fell for a boy who was 17, and he and his friends would hang out a little bit with me and my friends. From the ages of 13-16 the average age of my friends outside of school was about 25. I actually went out with a 32 year old for 18 months and when his friends found out he was going out with someone so young they were ready to kick the crap out of him until they met me and realized how mature I was.

And all throughout my life I have considered my mother to be one of my closest friends.

I still had a fair few friends my own age though - but unlike most of them I diversified quite drastically outside of school.
 

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Mine have been my age and a few a year or so older (though this made no difference), but I did often spend time with my parents' friends or teachers. I'd say I always felt somewhat disconnected in either group. I was always longing for something else, maybe something in between. I wanted the closeness I could get from friends my age, and I wanted the depth and passion for life that the adults I spoke with could offer. I wanted both aspects together. Getting older, I find that the people my age are -at least some- are like the adults from when I was younger, but for some reason the closeness is still non-existent.
 

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I never really got on so well with my peers. I always had one friend if any throughout my ears in school. even close groups I wasn't that close to everyone. I always really was good at developing one on one relationships with others. sometimes I feel that these one on one's can really have no boundaries, where as the bigger the group it starts to get limited to age or click-factor.

my friends were a bit older usually but not by much. maybe like a couple of years or so.

also. I like groups don't get me wrong... but I typically fall into that one on one thing a lot.
I think I might prefer an older friend to latch onto though because of their experiences.
typically younger people annoy me because of their lack of experience in life.
 

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I have always been freinds with people of all ages.

I tended to want to be around people who were quite mature, or those who were quite childish. Mature ones so I could have proper conversations and imature ones if they are fun and imaginative...imature is probably the wrong word...child like maybe?

I like people I can be seriouse around, but also those I can totally be silly with.

I do have a lot of respect for older people, as I value their expirence and knowledge. I have an INTP friend whoes views I value a great deal. He is about three years older, but I find him very wise and intelligent. Though I suspect I would feel this way about him even if he wasn't older than me.

I also like looking after and helping guide younger people. I supose because I am the eldest of my generation of the family. I have a lot of younger cousins, who I have always played with, bossed about, and looked out for. I love looking after the youngest, and teaching them new things, or giving the older ones advice.

I was very close with my grandmother and I am very close to my mother, but then we are close as a family.

I supose I just value people in general, as long as they aren't unpleasent. I cannot stand unpleasent, bitchy or selfish people of any age.
 

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Wise for my years were the words I heard quite often. I think I struggled to find areas of my life where I didn't feel the need to always be the responsible one who always did the right thing and tended to have friends who were younger than me. I matured through many of life's hurdles slowly because I wasn't exposed to a lot. This doesn't mean I was childish or anything of the sort but it just means I didn't race along to experience things without full knowledge of what I was getting myself into - whether by my own hand or via my parent's limitations. Now I have a wide range of friendships or aquaintances of every age but I do find it difficult to connect with someone who's in their early 20's. These days, my closest friendships are with those older than myself.
 
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I definitely was hanging out with people 3-4 years older than myself. Older people are more mature, more intelligent.

Among kids my age, I only really got along with the INFJs and the INTJs because they thought like I did.

But I see where Zomboy is coming from, because the opposite is also true. Younger kids always looked up to me. In high school I kind of developed a cult following of kids 1-2 years younger than me that saw me as their leader. :laughing:
 

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But I see where Zomboy is coming from, because the opposite is also true. Younger kids always looked up to me. In high school I kind of developed a cult following of kids 1-2 years younger than me that saw me as their leader. :laughing:
This was like me in primary school. I had a little group of childeren I had helped out or looked after at one stage or another who followed me around.

Any lost little lambs, people being picked on or crying, I tended to apear and step in to see if they were ok. Some became quite attached to me afterwards.

One girl I found crying by herself, and asked her what was wrong. I found out her baby cousine had just died and her dad was "away" (in prison for fraud). I'd never really noticed her before but she was always in my class. I tried to make her feel better, and after that she decided I was her best friend. She didn't have anyone else to talk to and no siblings. Her mum was lovely, but mostly threw money at her to make up for things. She had lots of pets, including horses. For a couple of years I practically lived round her house during the summer. My mum would have to phone up to ask for me back.

Most people my age just shrugged it off though, but if someone was lonly or needed someone to talk to, or were a bit younger, it seemed to make an impression. Sometimes it was actually a bit anyoying, as I might not actually like the person that much, or I didn't want to play with much younger kids. Most of the time though I saw not reason not to play with them if they wanted me to.
 

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I think I was dealt with bad cards in the people who need help department :bored: I always liked to take care of people as well, and some of them end up as friends, but they always turned against me in time. Sometimes about jealousy/ competition, insecurity or others. I wasn't able to see it coming till it was too late. I was never really bullied in grade school, those who did harass me were friends (my age) @[email protected];
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Younger kids always looked up to me. In high school I kind of developed a cult following of kids 1-2 years younger than me that saw me as their leader. :laughing:
This was like me in primary school. I had a little group of childeren I had helped out or looked after at one stage or another who followed me around.
In retrospect, I did this also. Especially in elementary school, where I was a very outgoing and friendly student. My kindness and acceptance attracted a group of kids that followed me around; considered me as the leader in a sense. :happy:

I might have one right now (I'm still in high school), but once I hit middle school, I clammed up and became quite reserved, not really associating with very many people anymore. A lot of friendships were lost because of that.

Another thing I thought of: whenever I would have a family gathering/reunion of any kind, I would gravitate (and still do) to the adults. Their conversations fascinated me, and I would just sit nearby, listen and observe the group dynamics.
 

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In retrospect, I did this also. Especially in elementary school, where I was a very outgoing and friendly student. My kindness and acceptance attracted a group of kids that followed me around; considered me as the leader in a sense. :happy:

I might have one right now (I'm still in high school), but once I hit middle school, I clammed up and became quite reserved, not really associating with very many people anymore. A lot of friendships were lost because of that.
I think I was dealt with bad cards in the people who need help department I always liked to take care of people as well, and some of them end up as friends, but they always turned against me in time. Sometimes about jealousy/ competition, insecurity or others. I wasn't able to see it coming till it was too late. I was never really bullied in grade school, those who did harass me were friends (my age) @[email protected];
High School was different to my when I was in primary school.

I used to have a lot of male friends, but at that point this became a problem. If you were friends with a boy you had to be dating, or were seen as a sex object, and it wasn't on to hang out with younger kids in school, so I was thrown back to the girls. *shiver* the bitchyness...it still stings even now.

I spent all my days playing agony aunt, giving relationship advice and helping people fix their hair. I was that best friend who stood next to the popular/outgoing girl with an unimpressed look on her face, and whipped out a tissue when the tears started falling.

I had a lot of different best friends, as I became disillusioned with people, or they did things like spread a rumour I was gay out of boredom...*sigh* or stirred up trouble with rumour-spreading-former-friend to gain greater popularity, turned to drug addiction...:dry: I got used a lot or ended up around the wrong people by accident. I learnt to stop checking on crying people in the girls bathroom fairly quickly. There are better places to find friends.

I slowly gathered up one or two people from every friendship group I had been in, who I considered to be nice and fun to be with. They sort of gravitated to me. I made my own group over time, which involved hardly any drama.

I wasn't really fulfilled in my friendships though. They were good people, but none of them understood me at all. I met my current best friend when I was about 15/16 on a school trip. She is the best friend I always wanted. We totally understand each other, as we are almost the same person. We love helping each other, and if either of us has a problem the other person is there for them.

I befriended younger children outside school in clubs, or through voluntary work in my late teens, though I was more of a mentor figure by then. Where I work I get on well with the younger staff, who are a year or so younger, but other than that and family I don’t spend enough time around younger people to be friends with them.

I do revere certain adults, and like listening to them, especially my great uncle. I love hearing all his stories and no on else listens to him properly, so he is pretty fond of me. We go out to lunch or to see shows regularly. I think I remind him of my grandmother, they used to do this too and she used to bring me along sometimes. Some of my earliest memories are sitting in his conservatory eatting cream cake, and quirtly listening to them talk.

I'd say I have less friends now, I lost contact with a lot of people when I went to uni, but the ones I do have are amazing.
 

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My friends have tended to be older. Now that I'm an adult? The friends I have now are still older than me. Now that you bring it up, I can't say I've had many friends younger.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I slowly gathered up one or two people from every friendship group I had been in, who I considered to be nice and fun to be with. They sort of gravitated to me. I made my own group over time, which involved hardly any drama.

I wasn't really fulfilled in my friendships though.
This is actually where I'm at right now. I have a combination of friends, but none of them understand me. To be completely honest, the only reason I'm friends with most of them is to have a group to meld into and hide; I want to get out of high school and move on with my life.

Thankfully, I have a handful of true friends that I hang out with constantly... They're all older than me. :laughing:
 

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Some friends are really assertive, and convince me to go with them to all the most fun places.

Some friends (Fe types) just need to look at me for over a second, and I'll burst out laughing. Around them, I feel like I am confident, happy, and care-free.

Other friends are really deep, and we have a mutual understanding.

I love all three types of friends for different reasons. :wink:
 

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Mostly older because my birthday is at the end of summer so I was usually the youngest in my class. I always got along really well with adults and my parents friends and started babysitting at a really young age cuz I was super mature kid. lol
 

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I've always respected older people but i've tried to but I don't remember having them as friends growing up.
Yes people always said 'you are mature for your age' but that isolated me a lot in secondary school and Uni

But now I have a close friend who is Four years older and another who is three years younger.
I'm kinda always just there in the middle.
 

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As a young kid, I always had one or two best friends, but I wasn't actively looking for company ever, I think if my friends wouldn't have been mostly ExFPs I would've been lost in a fantasyland of my own creation. I had a blast with them, they brought something out of me that wouldn't have been brought out otherwise methinks.

As a teenager I definately struggled though. Hated high school. My best "talking to" person at 14 was way over 50. We talked about everything and she was definately an NF of some sort... She called me an old soul. I was blown away I could talk to someone like that.

I don't think age really makes a big difference... I mean the years passed. Experiences, maybe, but people don't really fundamentally change.
 
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