Personality Cafe banner

1 - 14 of 14 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
576 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I have question for all those that have been on the dark side and I have come back to the light. No this is not about star wars so don't fret. I am talking of being shut off completely from your emotions to the point of not caring about next to nothing. I am experiencing the darkness, and while I know that is not healthy or a practical way to live, I enjoy looking at at life with sunglasses as opposed to rose colored glasses. It's not only that but I am much more wilder than I once and it feels liberating to be so bold and unforgiving at times, it's like I am rebelling against my true nature, and love to do nothing other than go against the grain. My question is after all of the dark, drugs, booze, sex and mayhem did you get back to the light, the goodness, the caring? And if you did ( I know you guys did I aint stupid) what did you learn in the dark that you didn't notice in the light?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
231 Posts
Right now, I am in the same boat as you. I'm interested to see what other people have to say about coming around full circle from the darkness.

I could have written this post as well, nearly word for word, to be honest with you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Blackbeard

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,347 Posts
I think a lot of people try to be on one side or the other, but I truly feel you need to hover between both.
Anyone that stays in the sunlight too long or in the night too long will have some of the most easily distinguishable deficiencies. Not to mention they're kind of boring, predictable, and in my eyes, fake.

Rambling aside, I can turn off my emotions on a dime. That makes me effective when I need to make important decisions or when I simply just need to be honest with myself. It also gives me the ability to do whatever it takes to win and doesn't allow my sentiments to get in the way of some of my more prominent goals. Quickest way to describe is that I could easily slit someones throat if it made the world a better place. General idea: noble intent, darker, aka less socially acceptable, means.

Having a lighter side allows me to dive into the dark, but have a lantern by my side. I've never done drugs, or had any flings, I'm still romantically based and follow my own moral code.

How do you stay on the lighter side most of the time? You look for the good in things oppose to the bad. Sorry it's kind of a basic answer.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,987 Posts
Light and dark are within every person. Dark is a product of ignorance and suffering; light, a product of enlightenment and sensitivity.

I have come from light into darkness and back into light. It is a cycle, I know that I will almost certainly revisit the darkness in the future. Hopefully what I have learned will keep me from being overwhelmed and blinded by either darkness or light. I have discovered that the wisest realize that both dark and light exist in themselves, and they are just okay with that. They don't fight it, they are fine with it.

Basically, my suffering and isolation ended when I realized some basic truths that I had been blind to before, or had forgotten at some long distant past time.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Nymma

·
Registered
Joined
·
576 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
I think a lot of people try to be on one side or the other, but I truly feel you need to hover between both.
Anyone that stays in the sunlight too long or in the night too long will have some of the most easily distinguishable deficiencies. Not to mention they're kind of boring, predictable, and in my eyes, fake.

Rambling aside, I can turn off my emotions on a dime. That makes me effective when I need to make important decisions or when I simply just need to be honest with myself. It also gives me the ability to do whatever it takes to win and doesn't allow my sentiments to get in the way of some of my more prominent goals. Quickest way to describe is that I could easily slit someones throat if it made the world a better place. General idea: noble intent, darker, aka less socially acceptable, means.

Having a lighter side allows me to dive into the dark, but have a lantern by my side. I've never done drugs, or had any flings, I'm still romantically based and follow my own moral code.

How do you stay on the lighter side most of the time? You look for the good in things oppose to the bad. Sorry it's kind of a basic answer.
I do not think it's basic at all. While I'm in the midst of the darkness my light does come at time. Same can be said when in the light my dark side can as well. That is what I am learning, that there is no white or black to it, it's gray. The thing with me is that I sometimes I define life in absolution so while I am this, I will think to myself self you a terrible a hole, you should accept it. I am learning balance, but when I first entered the dark side it was scary to know that somehow I have completely changed. Listening to you guys make it seem as tho there no absolute good or bad, that we all have it and we should all use it accordingly that's what makes the difference.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
45 Posts
Rambling aside, I can turn off my emotions on a dime. That makes me effective when I need to make important decisions or when I simply just need to be honest with myself. It also gives me the ability to do whatever it takes to win and doesn't allow my sentiments to get in the way of some of my more prominent goals. Quickest way to describe is that I could easily slit someones throat if it made the world a better place. General idea: noble intent, darker, aka less socially acceptable, means.
I really wish I could do that :frustrating:
I've lived in the light for all my life and I want to be able to let my self be in touch with that darker side on an external level. I don't want to kill everybody yet.... just not care so much if I hurt them a little...? :sad:
 
  • Like
Reactions: faeriegal713

·
Registered
Joined
·
152 Posts
When we say dark what we usually mean is aspects of ourselves that are not
acceptable in "society" but nonetheless aspects of our whole, or as the Jungians
call it our shadow selves. I'm not a shrink so I can't go into details but read up
on Jung and the Shadow self. It's enlightening stuff. I'm not going to explain
since I am purely a hobbyist and my knowledge of it may be skewed.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,347 Posts
I really wish I could do that :frustrating:
I've lived in the light for all my life and I want to be able to let my self be in touch with that darker side on an external level. I don't want to kill everybody yet.... just not care so much if I hurt them a little...? :sad:
Ya, you need to be able to manipulate yourself to an excessive level of self confidence. That, in essence, gives you the belief that you're doing the right thing and because of that you can subdue other feelings.

It's a very tricky tight rope walk of playing "God" in a sense, judging and commanding, but you also need to be able to return back to reality.

I honestly think one of the best levels of -good- darkness is just sexually. Aggression, lust, maybe even vulgar dirty talk, but both you and your partner know that you love them. That's a nice blend of light / dark.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
375 Posts
I've rebelled in many ways in my life, and it was always because I was looking for alternative ways to fulfill my desires, other than to view obedience, diligence, sacrifice, and selflessness to others as means of fulfilling them. The difference there is that rebellion from light usually looks for immediate and selfish fulfillment of the desires, whereas the other ways often involve patience. Also, rebellion stems from distrust, whether of people, or God, or something else. Like if a child's parents set many limits on the child, even if they are healthy limits, like not drinking alcohol, and then the child's friend says them, "Hey, try some beer with me, it feels so great! You'll love it, it's the best thing ever." If the child believes that the parents do not have his or her best interest in mind and have kept the child from happiness, the child will rebel out of distrust.

So it went with me, that I began to believe that people and institutions and other things that represented goodness didn't really have my best interest in mind and were limiting me, so my natural response was to do the very things that opposed them. The very act of the rebellion becomes a stimulation, and can even be addicting. My concept I had had of an absolute good was distorted, and in the state of rebellion, it became more about what felt good or what seemed justifiably good with the perspective I held. Anyway, it took time before the destructive effects began to really hit me, and when you are in a very vulnerable position mentally, it's incredible how quickly the stubbornness of rebellion flies out the window, and a desire for rightness and light saturates the mind. In this position, I called out to God, even though I hadn't developed trust with Him, and I believe I received help. I began to separate from the past experiences of distrust and personal views of good and evil and become more interested in harmony with absolute truth. My own mind is so deceptive and prone to bias and illusion, so I craved absolute truth, and looked for it in the Bible, and found many verses, promises from God about His nature, and about how He repairs the human soul, and I began to invest myself in those promises. Since then I've come a long way. I still have trust problems, but I am striving ahead with the belief that light will dissolve the darkness if I continue to face it, and it has been happening, and I thank God for it. I do believe in absolute light and absolute dark, and I believe that God can use the dark experiences of life to create a hunger for light, and enable an individual to be able to reach others in places of darkness that they wouldn't have been able to do as well if they hadn't experienced it themselves.

I'm brought to think of rats in cages, suddenly. Imagine rats in a cage in an experimentation room. Scientists feed the rats nutritious food that will nourish them, and do so for a week. To get to the food though, a door opens that leads to a little obstacle course, and at the end, there is food, and a couple of tasty treats. But then in week two, they introduce an opiate to their cage as soon as they raise the door, with treats leading to the opiate. Once they try the opiate, they lose interest in finding their food. Each time at meal time the scientists put an opiate in their cage. After several days the rats are dying, but they still choose the opiate over the food and are too delirious to find the food afterwards. Eventually they die. Once they had tried the opiate, they "trusted" it more than they did going through an obstacle course for food, which had once been acceptable and routine. I think my rebellion was something like that. Once I began to rebel, the instant gratifications of life and how they made me feel seemed more trustworthy than the way of goodness. In fact, because I trusted aspects of rebellion, I began to form arguments around them, seeing them as being good.

Anyway, I don't know how much this applies to what you were getting at, but that was part of my darkness/light experience.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
251 Posts
I have no idea. I honestly have no idea what darkness is about. I made a thread about it and a ton of people replied, and I still don't understand, even though their replies were fascinating to read. Sexual darkness is foreign to me too - where does that kind of desire or motivation even come from?

I can't turn off my emotions either, though I can lash out in anger rather than appearing vulnerable and upset (although this doesn't always help).

I don't really know if I'm in the light either though. I know what is good and what is not, but there are so many things in the world that aren't good that it gets me very depressed. Perhaps I'd be happier if I had blind faith in something, but well, once your eyes are opened to reality there's no turning back.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,987 Posts
I can't turn off my emotions either, though I can lash out in anger rather than appearing vulnerable and upset (although this doesn't always help).
The best thing I can suggest is -- you don't have to turn your emotions off! Everything you are is your feelings about yourself, or the world. Personally, I've found that trying to turn them off, run away from them, or ignore them has only made it worse for me. Letting them flow over me, they just come and go with time. From my own experience, that's all I can say with certainty, but I hope it helps!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
251 Posts
The best thing I can suggest is -- you don't have to turn your emotions off! Everything you are is your feelings about yourself, or the world. Personally, I've found that trying to turn them off, run away from them, or ignore them has only made it worse for me. Letting them flow over me, they just come and go with time. From my own experience, that's all I can say with certainty, but I hope it helps!
Thank you. I will try doing that :happy:

It's a bit difficult in conflict situations though. My feelings can be so intense that they demand reparation, or retaliation if I don't get that...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,397 Posts
Turn your emotions off!? I'm an INTP, and I can't even do that! (I wouldn't really want to, although I admit there are times I would have traded anything for that kind of "peace"). It would be great if you could flip them on and off at will and not have to worry about it. But that's not how it works. The sorts of people who actually succeed at doing that can't turn them on again when they want to. And that is not a fate anyone wants to suffer...
 
1 - 14 of 14 Posts
Top