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I wanna try and explain this without seeming like I'm trying to seeming pretentious. I don't think I'm smarter or better than people, I'm just curious if any other INFJs can relate to this sort of thing or if it's just my personal issue :,D

I often feel that I'm able to know certain things about people or events just subconsciously. I don't know why I know stuff and I've always had a hard time, especially verbally on the spot, explaining how I've come to these conclusions that just make perfect sense to me, but when I think about them I don't typically have hard facts or proof to support them.

I'll try to give a few examples. There was this one girl in my friend group when I in middle school who was, for the lack of better words, a total bitch. She didn't really care about people in out group but just wanted to create drama and make everything about her. Years later she drifted away from our friend group and some of my friends were complaining how she had never been a good friend and was very manipulative. I'm glad they finally realized but no one did around ten years ago :D...

Another example is of a relative of mine who had a lot of health issues and I suggested she might have a certain health condition and should maybe go check it out. I'm not a medical professional obviously but it just seemed kind of obvious to me. Everyone kind of rolled their eyes at me and laughed my attempt to help off. Now around 5 years later she has been diagnosed with that very health condition.

I'm just kind of getting annoyed that people don't ever really believe me and then years later see the light on situations. Maybe I'm bad at being convincing and need to work on that.

Does anyone else have these kind of moments or am I just an annoying know it all who has had some lucky guesses throughout my life?
 

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You will always experience these type of situations in various parts of life, it's more or less unavoidable if you desire to have human contact. Most people will typically always do/believe whatever they want, until something drastically change their condition which forces them to act differently.

Ideally we should never have to "convince" others of anything, because everyone should all be able to see reason and be understanding, yet that is not how reality is. Truth is we all learn things at different points in our lives, and some are more or less willing/interested in making an effort to better their own life, by being receptive of potentially valuable input of others. Unfortunately many are just so stubborn or set in their ways, that you'll always find this a struggle, unless you learn to come to terms with it and re-focus said frustration on something entirely else.

In addition to that, we all have a different amount of patience and sometimes people just need to hear and see things repeatedly, before they realize the importance of something. As such it's an individual balance act to decide how much or little effort and time they wish to put into any given event. I don't have any general rule myself, it always depends on the other person/people and their attitude.
 

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Honestly, get used to it.

Personally I attribute it to my intuitive mind and it's ability to see a large amount of possibilities that allow me to come to the conclusions that I do. They are never concrete and as a piece of advice I would suggest you always consider that your intuitive reasoning can more often than not be wrong.

Being young and lacking any pieces of paper that distinguish me to be speaking on matters not of my expertise certainly contributes to the perception that I don't know anything at all.

I can't wait for the age where I have attained the necessary experiences and education where people will turn to me for advice and I would be like " I could have told you this decades ago :laughing:"

I keep my mouth shut for the most part. Though it does help to phrase things certain ways and get into a comfortable conversation with someone to help them realize a potential trouble ahead.

Getting annoyed is just a waste of energy. Focus on yourself and your life. If someone you really care about who respects your opinion and advice then it would make sense to step in and share your understanding about the possibilities.

For other people I just keep my opinion to myself, chuckle at the possibilities and hope that things don't go into the worst possible directions.
 
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You are not an annoying know it all. Though, people who aren't as good at us at this sort of Ni-work will not like our advice if given to them, because they do not see it convincingly. I believe that this insight is a boon for society, for your family and friends. Learn how to express your insights, do see things honestly, and respect for your own traits will come, and people will be glad for your gifts. Especially if it's about concerns I see, I would never shy away from giving truth-tested and helpful advice, and with respect! Just don't fall into believing things that are not true, to be the truth. Avoid irrational beliefs, a pitfall landing you in the realm of the psychics, and you're a healthy advise-person.
 

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This kind of insights are relatively common for both INFJs and INTJs, likely as a result of dominant Ni.

INTJs tend to find it easier to explain them, while to INFJs, they may frequently appear inexplicable but true.
 

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I'll try to give a few examples. There was this one girl in my friend group when I in middle school who was, for the lack of better words, a total bitch. She didn't really care about people in out group but just wanted to create drama and make everything about her. Years later she drifted away from our friend group and some of my friends were complaining how she had never been a good friend and was very manipulative. I'm glad they finally realized but no one did around ten years ago :D...
I don't think these people are too stupid to recognise a toxic friend. Some simply chose to ignore it... some didn't think that friend was as bad as we thought. I will not force my opinion down their throats but will wait to deliver my favourite, "I told you so..." statement. My approach to such situations is usually to express my concerns about a certain individual and actively keep away. I've been known to singularly stayed away from people I don't like to the extent of skipping every outing this person is in. I've so far done that to 4 people but only because they'd greatly offended me. And the strange thing is... after I did that, some started keeping a distance from these people too. It's then I realised I'd such influence.

Having said that, INFJs are also known to tolerate toxic people (so it's kinda pot calling the kettle black :frustrating:) until we do our infamous "door slam" which could be years later. So we need to recognise our own shortcomings too.
 

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The skills at reading people and predicting their behavior get better with age as you accumulate more experiences to draw from. Sadly, most other people develop these skills at a slower rate, so the gap only widens. It may seem like people are getting dumber as you get older, so try not to become cynical or isolate yourself. I often keep my true feelings to myself to keep the peace, but I do try to help others see the light with subtle hints from time to time.

I have an INFP therapist friend who has taken a wounded bird under her wing. She parades him around parties and gatherings. This person is completely toxic, and he uses his victim status as an excuse to act out in the most vulgar and invasive ways. I used to think INFPs were as good at reading people as INFJs, but clearly they are not. This person is destroying my friend's marriage, and her friends are withdrawing from her. She simply refuses to see it or acknowledge the dysfunctional dynamic. I door slammed this person within two hours of meeting him, but I have to keep that a secret from my friend to preserve our relationship.

Door slamming is unique to INFJs, but it is important to note that it is not done out of anger or spite. It is an act of self-preservation in an effort to eliminate conflict and find inner peace. It isn't even a slam in most cases, just more of a quiet retreat where you sever all ties from a toxic person. The decision is made with finality long before the actual door slam occurs, and you feel a tremendous sense of relief when you finally move on. There may be no drama in it, and the person you cut off may not even realize you are gone for several months. When I was young I took a lot of shit from people for a very long time. The two people I've door slammed in the past few years were very close to me. Both are certifiably NPD, and I'm better off without them.
 

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I try to accept both sides of the issue.

For one, just because someone doesn't voice their thoughts about a person or subject, doesn't mean they don't have those thoughts at all. That being said, the other side of that is assuming other people see something that it is obvious to you and when you realise they don't, you feel alone - which I experience often.

It could be years later, as you explained, that I feel my peers suddenly 'get' something and only because now more of the group have confirmed that to them and that bothers me, admittedly. I do think INFJs often deal with this - but just as we tend to tap into unconscious truths it takes some people longer to figure out. Due to our poor Se, it often makes us miss things which are obvious that others noticed hours ago - which isn't fun.
 
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