I'm just so frustrated with the way things are right now.
I've been busy with my coursework at school. I am the president of a new club on campus, and it always seems like I could put a lot more effort into it than I have been. Recently my parents have been angry with me for not getting a job (I applied for my pharmacy tech license in July, and just received it two days ago.) My friends have made it extremely clear that they are happier without me- I only see one friend a week, and even then I spend the entire time talking to her because I never talk to anyone! I think I am scaring her away too now. I am always tired- all I do on the weekends is sleep and read for my classes. I only eat one meal a day, and if I am lucky, then two meals a day (if my mom decides to cook dinner and include me).
To top it off, I was just sitting with my mother and sister, and they started off on a bashing session of me, including reasons why I don't have friends and why I am a failure because of my social awkwardness. I just walked away and they continued on the subject.
My dad keeps telling me that I'm supposed to feel like this, and that it means that I should move out soon.
I just need some help or something. I don't even know why I'm posting this in this forum... I guess I just need help on getting out of this hole that I'm in. I've felt like this many times before, and I always manage to get better on my own, but this time it just feels so much worse.
(Geez, I cannot believe I am actually doing this. Please know that I will be pressing that "submit new thread" button with dread and regret. But writing in my blog that nobody sees is just not doing it for me right now.)
I've been busy with my coursework at school. I am the president of a new club on campus, and it always seems like I could put a lot more effort into it than I have been. Recently my parents have been angry with me for not getting a job (I applied for my pharmacy tech license in July, and just received it two days ago.) My friends have made it extremely clear that they are happier without me- I only see one friend a week, and even then I spend the entire time talking to her because I never talk to anyone! I think I am scaring her away too now. I am always tired- all I do on the weekends is sleep and read for my classes. I only eat one meal a day, and if I am lucky, then two meals a day (if my mom decides to cook dinner and include me).
To top it off, I was just sitting with my mother and sister, and they started off on a bashing session of me, including reasons why I don't have friends and why I am a failure because of my social awkwardness. I just walked away and they continued on the subject.
My dad keeps telling me that I'm supposed to feel like this, and that it means that I should move out soon.
I just need some help or something. I don't even know why I'm posting this in this forum... I guess I just need help on getting out of this hole that I'm in. I've felt like this many times before, and I always manage to get better on my own, but this time it just feels so much worse.
(Geez, I cannot believe I am actually doing this. Please know that I will be pressing that "submit new thread" button with dread and regret. But writing in my blog that nobody sees is just not doing it for me right now.)