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Queen of Hearts
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Hello all! I am so sorry for opening up my type conversation again. I am making a fresh thread since the last one was so very long and I just want to quickly address an uncertainty I have without any distractions. If anyone such as @hoopla, @Telepathic Goose, @alittlebear, @angelcat, @shinynotshiny, or any other of the excellent typers who've helped me in the past want to weigh in, I'll be very happy, but don't feel obliged.


Here are my arguments for ISFJ:

~I think my 'personal mythologies' color my life more than anything connected to . . . reality. Generally, my approach to an unpleasant situation is to synthesize it in my mind with something I can accept. For instance, I have occasionally gotten along badly with my father. Instead of using my Fe to try to connect with him, I pretended that he was an ogre (even though he is a very nice man). Then, because he was an ogre, I did not have difficulty getting along with him, and he annoyed me less, because he was an ogre. This is just one example of the sort of thing I will do. I tend to twist things until they look like something I will like. I don't like the way the Internet is, but if I imagine that I am entering various intellectual salons, I don't mind. I don't like reading books on Kindle...unless I imagine it is a 'magic book'. If that makes sense.

~I do very badly in situations where I don't know what to do. I like clear instructions. I am terrified of improvising. And I enjoy doing things step-by-step and knowing exactly what is expected of me.

~My Fe . . . it feels weak. I was reading in the Taylor Swift thread about how she looks like her Fe is passing through a filter. I wonder if mine is that way as well. I can't say I feel comfortable or assured talking to other people. Ever. I used to be so scared, when I went to the houses of my friends', that I wasn't really invited, so I would try to confirm it like...3 or 4 times. It became such a running joke that my friends started pretending I was not meant to be there. I never feel comfortable asking people personal questions. I usually feel like...I'm probably a weirdo, they're probably waiting for me to go away so they can start whispering about me. Even when I'm driving, I'll feel like all the other cars know about something I don't haha.

~I do use a good deal of Ti, I think. I tend to overanalyze and in my younger years I had a reputation of being a bookworm, and I was the one who would really want to learn in school and wanted to have really good class discussions and would do extra research and such.

~I want to socialize, but I don't. I can't really come up with the energy to try to meet people, or just go out and do things, by myself. I tend to isolate myself if left to myself. Like a flower which turns its face to the darkness instead of the light. Except flowers actually turn their heads towards their energy source, so...is my energy source darkness (introversion?)

~Prompted by something on @SugarPlum 's thread, I asked some friends if I am expressive. They said:
Friend 1:
1-10, its about a 5. It depends, oftentimes you're more expressive about passion projects or fictional matters, otherwise you tend to stuff your feelings to give a good show

Unless you're pissed about something, then you're just downright bitchy ;)

Friend 2: Like with writing you're very expressive. It's obvious from your posts and other things what you like, dislike, support, oppose, frustrating, etc. I feel like I'm expressive like that as well at times but I tend to not express as much in person.

Friend 3: As opposed to impressive?) :D ...I wouldn't really say so though. Not more than average)

So...not that expressive. Also, I've become more expressive of my emotions with time.




Arguments for ESFJ:

~I really like socializing. I generally have never thought, "I wish this party would end already". I get horribly, horribly restless if I'm cooped up for too long...let's say 4 hours. I mean, I'll purposefully start an argument with someone just to get some energy flowing. I'm always up for doing something...and I'd rather go out, to a café or restaurant or just out in the world, than at home doing whatever.

~There was a line in How I Met Your Mother..."Whatever you do in your life, it's not legendary unless your friends are there to see it." That kind-of...expresses this thing I feel, like, what's even the point of doing something if no one is there to see it. Things don't 'count' if they're just me. If there's a TV show I watched on my own...it's like a totally different show when I watch it with other people. I color my life with other people. And if there aren't people around, I'll...watch a TV show or something, where it feels like there are other people. Things that are totally impersonal, that are truly just me...doing sums, or painting, or like...any other totally non-social activity make me feel really, like, lost and cold. Not trying to sound like a lunatic, just trying to express a sort of emotion. Like...they lack warmth, it's just . . . this thing.

~My Ne is pretty good, I think. I think of plenty of ideas and am overly imaginative and whimsical. I'll make very sudden decisions on whims and I do come up with a lot of possibilities. I don't relate to the 'frozen by the worst-case scenario' of inferior Ne. If anything I am too careless and apt to look before I leap.



So...place your votes please! Sorry again for opening this up again after I said I was done, but once I know this I'll not change it) Thanks)
 
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Arguments for ESFJ:

~I really like socializing. I generally have never thought, "I wish this party would end already". I get horribly, horribly restless if I'm cooped up for too long...let's say 4 hours. I mean, I'll purposefully start an argument with someone just to get some energy flowing. I'm always up for doing something...and I'd rather go out, to a café or restaurant or just out in the world, than at home doing whatever.

~There was a line in How I Met Your Mother..."Whatever you do in your life, it's not legendary unless your friends are there to see it." That kind-of...expresses this thing I feel, like, what's even the point of doing something if no one is there to see it. Things don't 'count' if they're just me. If there's a TV show I watched on my own...it's like a totally different show when I watch it with other people. I color my life with other people. And if there aren't people around, I'll...watch a TV show or something, where it feels like there are other people. Things that are totally impersonal, that are truly just me...doing sums, or painting, or like...any other totally non-social activity make me feel really, like, lost and cold. Not trying to sound like a lunatic, just trying to express a sort of emotion. Like...they lack warmth, it's just . . . this thing.

~My Ne is pretty good, I think. I think of plenty of ideas and am overly imaginative and whimsical. I'll make very sudden decisions on whims and I do come up with a lot of possibilities. I don't relate to the 'frozen by the worst-case scenario' of inferior Ne. If anything I am too careless and apt to look before I leap.


Most of this doesn't really relate to extroversion so much as just... Fe. That entire second paragraph pretty much encompasses me entirely, in the realm of "I MUST SHARE THIS... I MUST... I NEED PEOPLE TO SHARE IT WITH." (Right now, NONE of my friends are watching any of the same shows I am and it's sucking me dry not to have anyone to discuss any element of those shows with. I love my shows, but I love 'em MORE with other people to share them with, you know?) But ... yeah, if you're not somewhat scared of the future, inferior Ne might not be you.

For me, I get... anxiety if I have only this big picture of something in my head; I can't rest until I break it down into sizable chunks that give me something tangible to think about and work on. And whenever I am stressing, that inferior Ne happens and I start forgetting things, and freaking out thinking I can't do my job, or whatever. Totally irrational crap all built around an infantile Ne going haywire.

Let's see, I know a few ESFJs... one in particular has been in the grip of Ti for quite some time, and he's like... super anal about being logical, and challenging logical stuff, and he's honestly acting like an unhealthy NTP a lot of the time. But he's SUCH a Fe-dom. His high Ne makes him way more inclined to be restless and actively change up his entire life on a whim, whereas I dream of doing that but can't actually force myself to do it. Like... he buys a business, turns it around, makes a profit, gets bored, sells the business, moves to another city, buys another business... whereas I, as an introvert, can't imagine doing that. Dude... you're MOVING to a place where NO ONE knows you? TERRIFYING.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
 
Most of this doesn't really relate to extroversion so much as just... Fe. That entire second paragraph pretty much encompasses me entirely, in the realm of "I MUST SHARE THIS... I MUST... I NEED PEOPLE TO SHARE IT WITH." (Right now, NONE of my friends are watching any of the same shows I am and it's sucking me dry not to have anyone to discuss any element of those shows with. I love my shows, but I love 'em MORE with other people to share them with, you know?) But ... yeah, if you're not somewhat scared of the future, inferior Ne might not be you.
For me, I get... anxiety if I have only this big picture of something in my head; I can't rest until I break it down into sizable chunks that give me something tangible to think about and work on. And whenever I am stressing, that inferior Ne happens and I start forgetting things, and freaking out thinking I can't do my job, or whatever. Totally irrational crap all built around an infantile Ne going haywire.

Let's see, I know a few ESFJs... one in particular has been in the grip of Ti for quite some time, and he's like... super anal about being logical, and challenging logical stuff, and he's honestly acting like an unhealthy NTP a lot of the time. But he's SUCH a Fe-dom. His high Ne makes him way more inclined to be restless and actively change up his entire life on a whim, whereas I dream of doing that but can't actually force myself to do it. Like... he buys a business, turns it around, makes a profit, gets bored, sells the business, moves to another city, buys another business... whereas I, as an introvert, can't imagine doing that. Dude... you're MOVING to a place where NO ONE knows you? TERRIFYING.
Thanks) I'll have to think about this -- the thing on the Ne sounds quite a lot like me in some cases, but not entirely. Particularly, this:
For me, I get... anxiety if I have only this big picture of something in my head; I can't rest until I break it down into sizable chunks that give me something tangible to think about and work on. And whenever I am stressing, that inferior Ne happens and I start forgetting things, and freaking out thinking I can't do my job, or whatever. Totally irrational crap all built around an infantile Ne going haywire.
...sounds right, but I will change things up all of a sudden -- hm, but usually it is a result of stress. For instance: oh my gosh, I can't get a job in America, I'm going to move to Germany and work there. Which turned out...well, it was a mixed bag. Maybe that is how I act in the grip though. I don't relate to the description of being in the grip of Ti. Though maybe it's just not happened. Anyways . .. thank you) Food for thought)
 
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Sometimes I have knee-jerk reactions and come to conclusions quickly... For example:

Oswin said:
I get horribly, horribly restless if I'm cooped up for too long...let's say 4 hours.
My reaction: "Four hours is nothing! Not an introvert."

But it's not logical, so I'll come back to this post with a worthwhile response :p
 

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Sometimes I have knee-jerk reactions and come to conclusions quickly... For example:



My reaction: "Four hours is nothing! Not an introvert."

But it's not logical, so I'll come back to this post with a worthwhile response :p
I can stay cooped up for two days and I'm an extrovert. So there!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I had a realization? possibly...which is, I was thinking about all the little ways I will sabotage myself and I was also thinking about the possibility of inferior Ne and then it occurred to me that what I will do is thing of the worst possible scenario and then bring it to life.
Or, you know, the worst plausible scenario. I don't usually infect myself with e. coli or break into my bedroom with a machete, but you know.
Like...I have a pattern of quitting college classes. What will happen is, say, I'll miss a class. And then I'll be thinking, "Oh dear! What if I miss another class, and then the professor decides to kick me out..." which would be really embarrassing, so then I'm afraid to go to class again...hence my fear of failing the class is brought to fruition. Or I'll be trying to stick to a diet and I'll think, "It would be absolutely terrible if you made brownies right now!" so then I do it. Actually, those are both terrible examples. But it's like, I think of this thing that could happen and then I react as if that thing was going to happen, hence making it happen. Does that make sense? Could that be a manifestation of inferior Ne? @angelcat , @hoopla , does that sound possible? Or is that just...a thing I do? It's not paralysis or anything...I act, it's just...in accordance with the worst-possible-outcome. Or?
 

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Hello all! I am so sorry for opening up my type conversation again. I am making a fresh thread since the last one was so very long and I just want to quickly address an uncertainty I have without any distractions. If anyone such as @hoopla, @Telepathic Goose, @alittlebear, @angelcat, @shinynotshiny, or any other of the excellent typers who've helped me in the past want to weigh in, I'll be very happy, but don't feel obliged.
From the little I know of you, you strike me as an Fe dom. But yes, let's dive into this thing together, shall we?

I think my 'personal mythologies' color my life more than anything connected to . . . reality. Generally, my approach to an unpleasant situation is to synthesize it in my mind with something I can accept. For instance, I have occasionally gotten along badly with my father. Instead of using my Fe to try to connect with him, I pretended that he was an ogre (even though he is a very nice man). Then, because he was an ogre, I did not have difficulty getting along with him, and he annoyed me less, because he was an ogre. This is just one example of the sort of thing I will do. I tend to twist things until they look like something I will like. I don't like the way the Internet is, but if I imagine that I am entering various intellectual salons, I don't mind. I don't like reading books on Kindle...unless I imagine it is a 'magic book'. If that makes sense.
Interestingly, this strikes me as Fe-Ne rather than Si. Ne tempered with Feeling in general is typically poetic. The eponymous protagonist of Anne of Green Gables is an ENFP (how I admired her as a child...), and still very much poetic. xNTPs are usually more wacky (I'm stretching my words here) and mind bending (see Weird Al and Bill Nye). They like to fuck around and take the piss. Typically satirical. Te-Ne is usually used out of humor, a conversation ice breaker, to aide in accomplishment or problem solving, or to utilize more efficient strategies (Dr. Phil and Dave Ramsey are my ESTJ archetypes, and demonstrate this quite well).

I do very badly in situations where I don't know what to do. I like clear instructions. I am terrified of improvising. And I enjoy doing things step-by-step and knowing exactly what is expected of me.
And here's the Si.

My Fe . . . it feels weak. I was reading in the Taylor Swift thread about how she looks like her Fe is passing through a filter. I wonder if mine is that way as well. I can't say I feel comfortable or assured talking to other people. Ever. I used to be so scared, when I went to the houses of my friends', that I wasn't really invited, so I would try to confirm it like...3 or 4 times. It became such a running joke that my friends started pretending I was not meant to be there. I never feel comfortable asking people personal questions. I usually feel like...I'm probably a weirdo, they're probably waiting for me to go away so they can start whispering about me. Even when I'm driving, I'll feel like all the other cars know about something I don't haha.
Advice for you- don't compare yourself too much to other types. It will fuck with your head (especially SFJ types). I don't relate to TS in many ways. Type is very diverse and has many different variants and angles, though when you know what to look for, the cognition is clear. Your issues with feeling assured and comforted sound anxiety (not necessarily in a psychiatric sense, by the way, but a general one) oriented. Also very Fe. Notice the focus on external values here. Worried people think you're a weirdo, needing to feel accepted and included, and experiencing insecurity when you're not. Focus on group drama (Fe is very perceptive of gossip in a lot of ways... Fi usually uses it through Te to get people to fuck off, haha. Fe typically uses it out of difficulty keeping one's mouth shut, people curiosity, or to backstab).

I do use a good deal of Ti, I think. I tend to overanalyze and in my younger years I had a reputation of being a bookworm, and I was the one who would really want to learn in school and wanted to have really good class discussions and would do extra research and such.
You're discussing behavior. Think about your motivations behind them. Many EFJs are school narms due to Si's perfectionism and fear of falling behind. I've known many xSFJs who have serious meltdowns in terms of school (I'd vouch for that). Anyone can be a bookworm.

As for inferior functions, through time and maturity, they can often be a strength (though in many ways, still a stumbling block and weakness). Once you've unlocked the beast that keeps nagging at you, everything comes into fruition. Over time, the inferior function can be utilized rather well, though still weak and immature in some ways, and often out of self defense, escapism, when a hot button is pushed, or trouble is seriously a-brewin'. You may find it helpful to consider what triggers that Ti to pop up.

I want to socialize, but I don't. I can't really come up with the energy to try to meet people, or just go out and do things, by myself. I tend to isolate myself if left to myself. Like a flower which turns its face to the darkness instead of the light. Except flowers actually turn their heads towards their energy source, so...is my energy source darkness (introversion?
It's best to think about why you're reclusive rather than dwell the fact that you are. My ESFJ mother has turned into a recluse due to unfortunate circumstances and general unhealthiness, though she certainly doesn't want to be. I once knew a rather quiet extroverted (she considered herself extroverted, in fact. I typed her as an ESFP). Many introverts can be pushed to come across as extroverted for a majority of factors. Determining your function ordering can also be much more helpful than determining where you fit on the E vs I scale (at least initially).

Prompted by something on @SugarPlum 's thread, I asked some friends if I am expressive. They said:
Friend 1:
1-10, its about a 5. It depends, oftentimes you're more expressive about passion projects or fictional matters, otherwise you tend to stuff your feelings to give a good show

Unless you're pissed about something, then you're just downright bitchy ;)

Friend 2: Like with writing you're very expressive. It's obvious from your posts and other things what you like, dislike, support, oppose, frustrating, etc. I feel like I'm expressive like that as well at times but I tend to not express as much in person.

Friend 3: As opposed to impressive?) :D ...I wouldn't really say so though. Not more than average)

So...not that expressive. Also, I've become more expressive of my emotions with time.


External perspectives are certainly useful, yet often a recipe for confusion (and sometimes downright wrong). I think at this point, external input is hindering your progress rather than promoting it. Reflect on yourself independently. It will help shitloads.

I really like socializing. I generally have never thought, "I wish this party would end already". I get horribly, horribly restless if I'm cooped up for too long...let's say 4 hours. I mean, I'll purposefully start an argument with someone just to get some energy flowing. I'm always up for doing something...and I'd rather go out, to a café or restaurant or just out in the world, than at home doing whatever.
If we're looking at the E vs I scale, this sounds generally extroverted. I definitely enjoy or even crave external stimuli at times, but my general preference is solitude. :tongue: It's not uncommon for extroverts to need alone time either. Pure introverts and extroverts are rare commodities.

There was a line in How I Met Your Mother..."Whatever you do in your life, it's not legendary unless your friends are there to see it." That kind-of...expresses this thing I feel, like, what's even the point of doing something if no one is there to see it. Things don't 'count' if they're just me. If there's a TV show I watched on my own...it's like a totally different show when I watch it with other people. I color my life with other people. And if there aren't people around, I'll...watch a TV show or something, where it feels like there are other people. Things that are totally impersonal, that are truly just me...doing sums, or painting, or like...any other totally non-social activity make me feel really, like, lost and cold. Not trying to sound like a lunatic, just trying to express a sort of emotion. Like...they lack warmth, it's just . . . this thing.
So Fe it hurts. You don't sound like a lunatic btw, rather, like an Fe dom.

My Ne is pretty good, I think. I think of plenty of ideas and am overly imaginative and whimsical. I'll make very sudden decisions on whims and I do come up with a lot of possibilities. I don't relate to the 'frozen by the worst-case scenario' of inferior Ne. If anything I am too careless and apt to look before I leap.
Agreed. You have a well developed, conscious Ne. You definitely prefer Si imo, but I know plenty of ESFJs who would describe themselves in this way. Some SJs are uptight, meticulous, scrupulous and persnickety, but not all (though I would argue most are semi anxious in new situations and generally perfectionistic about specific tasks. When Si takes a backseat however, impulsivity pursues.)


In conclusion- shy ESFJ with a well developed, accessible, healthy Ne. Unfortunately you strike me as having a low self esteem. I can't fathom why. You appear rather open minded and positive. Also, I think others' perspectives are confusing you. Reflect upon yourself independently, then come back to people's advice when so inclined. It's what helped me discover my type.

Also, I'm not qualified to make such calls, but have you looked into social anxiety? I have it, and relate to some of what you say. You may just be shy, but it's something to ponder. If you function well, don't sweat it. Shyness isn't a crime (unless you delay important phone calls for three days, and when you do make them, you end up stuttering, shaking and vomiting in your mouth).

@TheEpicPolymath Sounds interesting. Care to share?
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
 


From the little I know of you, you strike me as an Fe dom. But yes, let's dive into this thing together, shall we?



Interestingly, this strikes me as Fe-Ne rather than Si. Ne tempered with Feeling in general is typically poetic. The eponymous protagonist of Anne of Green Gables is an ENFP (how I admired her as a child...), and still very much poetic. xNTPs are usually more wacky (I'm stretching my words here) and mind bending (see Weird Al and Bill Nye). They like to fuck around and take the piss. Typically satirical. Te-Ne is usually used out of humor, a conversation ice breaker, to aide in accomplishment or problem solving, or to utilize more efficient strategies (Dr. Phil and Dave Ramsey are my ESTJ archetypes, and demonstrate this quite well).



And here's the Si.



Advice for you- don't compare yourself too much to other types. It will fuck with your head (especially SFJ types). I don't relate to TS in many ways. Type is very diverse and has many different variants and angles, though when you know what to look for, the cognition is clear. Your issues with feeling assured and comforted sound anxiety (not necessarily in a psychiatric sense, by the way, but a general one) oriented. Also very Fe. Notice the focus on external values here. Worried people think you're a weirdo, needing to feel accepted and included, and experiencing insecurity when you're not. Focus on group drama (Fe is very perceptive of gossip in a lot of ways... Fi usually uses it through Te to get people to fuck off, haha. Fe typically uses it out of difficulty keeping one's mouth shut, people curiosity, or to backstab).



You're discussing behavior. Think about your motivations behind them. Many EFJs are school narms due to Si's perfectionism and fear of falling behind. I've known many xSFJs who have serious meltdowns in terms of school (I'd vouch for that). Anyone can be a bookworm.

As for inferior functions, through time and maturity, they can often be a strength (though in many ways, still a stumbling block and weakness). Once you've unlocked the beast that keeps nagging at you, everything comes into fruition. Over time, the inferior function can be utilized rather well, though still weak and immature in some ways, and often out of self defense, escapism, when a hot button is pushed, or trouble is seriously a-brewin'. You may find it helpful to consider what triggers that Ti to pop up.



It's best to think about why you're reclusive rather than dwell the fact that you are. My ESFJ mother has turned into a recluse due to unfortunate circumstances and general unhealthiness, though she certainly doesn't want to be. I once knew a rather quiet extroverted (she considered herself extroverted, in fact. I typed her as an ESFP). Many introverts can be pushed to come across as extroverted for a majority of factors. Determining your function ordering can also be much more helpful than determining where you fit on the E vs I scale (at least initially).



External perspectives are certainly useful, yet often a recipe for confusion (and sometimes downright wrong). I think at this point, external input is hindering your progress rather than promoting it. Reflect on yourself independently. It will help shitloads.



If we're looking at the E vs I scale, this sounds generally extroverted. I definitely enjoy or even crave external stimuli at times, but my general preference is solitude. :tongue: It's not uncommon for extroverts to need alone time either. Pure introverts and extroverts are rare commodities.



So Fe it hurts. You don't sound like a lunatic btw, rather, like an Fe dom.



Agreed. You have a well developed, conscious Ne. You definitely prefer Si imo, but I know plenty of ESFJs who would describe themselves in this way. Some SJs are uptight, meticulous, scrupulous and persnickety, but not all (though I would argue most are semi anxious in new situations and generally perfectionistic about specific tasks. When Si takes a backseat however, impulsivity pursues.)


In conclusion- shy ESFJ with a well developed, accessible, healthy Ne. Unfortunately you strike me as having a low self esteem. I can't fathom why. You appear rather open minded and positive. Also, I think others' perspectives are confusing you. Reflect upon yourself independently, then come back to people's advice when so inclined. It's what helped me discover my type.
Thank you for the analysis and advice) I think I can buy into this (after I reflect on myself independently of course ;) )

Also, I'm not qualified to make such calls, but have you looked into social anxiety? I have it, and relate to some of what you say. You may just be shy, but it's something to ponder. If you function well, don't sweat it. Shyness isn't a crime (unless you delay important phone calls for three days, and when you do make them, you end up stuttering, shaking and vomiting in your mouth).
You know, probably I do have some mild form of that, I don't have panic attacks or anything but I could definitely see it on some level, as there definitely is something holding me back, sometimes seriously. . . I don't think it would really help to call it anything, and if I do have anxiety of some sort it's all mixed in with some natural shyness and character flaws that it would be better just to work on those))

Thanks again for your thoughts)
 
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Starting arguments for energy sounds very Fe to me haha,can relate,and you definitely don't seem inferior Ne,I mean it,definitely
I know I actually suggested ISFJ at some point but the only thing that seems to fit is you being kinda introvert-ish(but not an introvert)
Anyway,inferior Ti is creating you problems,not Ne
 

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You know, probably I do have some mild form of that, I don't have panic attacks or anything but I could definitely see it on some level, as there definitely is something holding me back, sometimes seriously. . . I don't think it would really help to call it anything, and if I do have anxiety of some sort it's all mixed in with some natural shyness and character flaws that it would be better just to work on those))
If you have social anxiety, it's probably mild. I had severe SAD at a point, coupled with panic disorder and agoraphobia. Luckily the panic disorder and agrophobia have mostly reversed themselves. The few people I've told don't believe me, lol. What used to occur was a sudden onslaught of panic attacks for no apparent reason, which would trigger a fear of open spaces (what if people see me [that's SAD related]? What if I panic in public and no one can help me? What if I'm trapped, alone somewhere? Unsafe! Doom!)

I realized my triggers were typically stressful situations, heavy periods, poor diet, lack of sleep, or even just thinking about it (last time I watched anxiety documentaries I had a panic attack, lol. Even thinking about it right now... makes me uncomfortable, but I'm doing fine). Haven't had a major panic attack in awhile. I haven't been sleeping much, and I'm not on medication anymore (though reconsidering for other reasons), so I'm lucky, but I'm aware they could still occur. Usually when I get an onset, it starts as a limited symptom attack, and I can calm myself before it escalates. A therapist told me it's pretty common for anxiety patients to experience long stretches (sometimes even years) without any symptoms. Anyone here with shitty anxiety- it can improve.

As mentioned, some people experience limited symptom attacks, which are simply mild panic attacks with less than four symptoms that last for shorter durations (unless they build up into full on attacks; not everyone's experience). Anything like migraines, shaking, dizziness, qualifies. I wonder if you experience that. Again, I'm not a professional, and I wouldn't label myself either if it's relatively mild. Shyness can be worked through independently, but if it becomes something you can't handle, I recommend help if you can assess it. I can PM you tips if you like.

Your comments on inferior Ne strike me more as tert Ne. I think your Ne is healthy for the most part, but even healthy people experience trouble. I think it's best to think about your inferior function after you've figured out the dominate, or even the tert, but the inferior function is definitely worth a look later on. You come across as a peaceful, romantic dreamer. I've known a few xSFJs of your ilk. Typically delightful people.
 

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In conclusion- shy ESFJ with a well developed, accessible, healthy Ne. Unfortunately you strike me as having a low self esteem. I can't fathom why. You appear rather open minded and positive. Also, I think others' perspectives are confusing you. Reflect upon yourself independently, then come back to people's advice when so inclined. It's what helped me discover my type.

Also, I'm not qualified to make such calls, but have you looked into social anxiety? I have it, and relate to some of what you say. You may just be shy, but it's something to ponder. If you function well, don't sweat it. Shyness isn't a crime (unless you delay important phone calls for three days, and when you do make them, you end up stuttering, shaking and vomiting in your mouth).
I'm starting to believe that if someone wonders if they're an introvert, they're most likely an extrovert. How I like to describe extroverts: the average person. That's it. I think introversion is one of the easiest things you can identify about yourself. You just know when your personality goes against the norm. I used to believe my introversion was a product of anxiety or shyness, but I've come to realize I prefer solitude even when I'm feeling fine.

But anxiety does make it a lot worse, and when I refer to anxiety, I agree it's the kind that interferes with your functioning.

That aside, I see ESFJ more and more.
 

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Ok, thanks everyone) ESFJ it is) Consider my doubts quelled)
 

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Enfp ;)
 
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I'm starting to believe that if someone wonders if they're an introvert, they're most likely an extrovert. How I like to describe extroverts: the average person. That's it. I think introversion is one of the easiest things you can identify about yourself. You just know when your personality goes against the norm. I used to believe my introversion was a product of anxiety or shyness, but I've come to realize I prefer solitude even when I'm feeling fine.

But anxiety does make it a lot worse, and when I refer to anxiety, I agree it's the kind that interferes with your functioning.

That aside, I see ESFJ more and more.
Anxiety/shyness can blur introversion, as well as ambriversion. I find it best to consider when the shyness impacted you and why, and how you would socialize without it. Daunting task, as subsequently developed shyness and anxiety blurs your sense of self. Your best bet is to determine your dominate function if E Vs I confuses (which even then can be difficult to determine in times of stress, when the tert and inferior functions nag at you).

As a child, I was never shy, but solitary and quiet. I always had anxiety symptoms (I had a school report mention some of them, and I'm surprised they never looked into it, but I was only 8 after all). My anxiety escalated at 13 to hermit levels, but I always related to introversion.
 

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I agree,I was literally shy,the kind of shy kid who hides behind parent's legs and laughs at the same time,simultaneously being shy and subtly seeking attention "Hey I'm kinda scared to just show myself to you but pleeease try to make me do it" kind of thing
It's different from truly introverted child who comes out when they feel like it,play like any kid but then after a while withdraw again.
 

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I agree,I was literally shy,the kind of shy kid who hides behid parent's legs and laughs at the same time,simultaneously being shy and subtly seeking attention "Hey I'm kinda scared to just show myself to you but pleeease try to make me do it" kind of thing
It's different from truly introverted child who comes out when they feel like it,play like any kid but then after a while withdraw again.
I was never shy initially, and no problem participating in a planned group discussion or raising my hand to answer questions I knew the answer to, but in first and second grade, teachers had concerns about my tendencies to read or play solitary games on the playground, lol. Not that I didn't play with kids or anything. Depended on my mood, what people were playing (I hated tag), or how well I knew people.

It's not uncommon for extroverts to describe shyness in early childhood (especially in the way that you describe :laughing:). Shyness =/= introversion.

Interestingly, I met the 5 year old daughter of my mom's boss at a salon she formerly worked at. She referred to herself as shy. She wasn't.
 

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Anxiety/shyness can blur introversion, as well as ambriversion. I find it best to consider when the shyness impacted you and why, and how you would socialize without it. Daunting task, as subsequently developed shyness and anxiety blurs your sense of self. Your best bet is to determine your dominate function if E Vs I confuses (which even then can be difficult to determine in times of stress, when the tert and inferior functions nag at you).

As a child, I was never shy, but solitary and quiet. I always had anxiety symptoms (I had a school report mention some of them, and I'm surprised they never looked into it, but I was only 8 after all). My anxiety escalated at 13 to hermit levels, but I always related to introversion.
Yeah, I certainly relate to that blurriness. My mother told me I was outgoing as a kid. It wasn't until elementary school that things started to change. I had to adapt to English and routine and things like not having stable transportation. Eugh, that became a huge source of stress for me.

I used to love school work and I remember being the first to raise my hand to answer, but that eventually faded away. I got super quiet. I was labeled "gifted" and my teachers had meetings with my parents every year (or should have, since my parents were usually too busy). I remember one year in high school where one of my teachers started involving me more and more in class discussions. I found out later that my parents had expressed concern during a meeting. They all felt I was too quiet. I was so angry about that lol

Some environments just aren't good for certain people. Stress has been such a constant in my life that my sense of self is out of focus.
 
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