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INTJ 5w4 (Sx/Sp)
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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I'm only working two shifts a week because of Covid-19, so instead of just sitting around doing nothing, I'll opt for sitting around and doing nothing.
So maybe I'll tell a tale of a man by the name of ImpossibleHunt4 (he's my OC pls don't steal). It is a tale some may find entertaining and funny. However, for ImpossibleHunt4, it was a story of solitude, stubborness, reflection and regret.

"Hey Timmy, do you want me to read you a story before bed?"
"Yes ImpossibleHunt5, please do. Can you read me the story about pirates again?"
"Fuck no."


866364


.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
This here, is a story of a hopeless young man named ImpossibleHunt4, and his troubles with the opposite sex.
Despite all the odds, he had no problem attracting girls. And don't ask him how, he doesn't know either.
He was a pretty average looking fellow, and he was not known for being particularly romantic. So this made the attention all the more confusing, and draining.

But for whatever reason, the girls still chased after him, and ImpossibleHunt4 would tend to go totally aloof and cold when they do.
Now, he understood he was a Type 5 INFJ, but even so, he didn't think this was normal.

To any other man, this would be a dream come true. But for ImpossibleHunt4, he viewed it as a curse. He typically wanted to be left alone.
Maybe it was because he never went to Church, but God showed ImpossibleHunt4 that he had least had a twisted sense of humour.

It has been happening ever since high school. Every time he'd get asked out by a girl in class, he would then say "I'm sorry, I'm too busy for a relationship at the moment". Unbeknownst to the women, all he used to do was go home, read a little, then do research on whatever topic that interested him. That's it. "Too busy" my ass.
I think he may have pissed some of them off, as he was called gay in his final years of high school. Guess he should've seen that coming. Prick.

At his first job as a cashier at a dollar store, it got even worse. He had girls who actively stalked him around the store. But every time they would ask him out, he would either have to sneak his way into the stock room, or find some clever excuse to tell them no. It became such a problem that he would deliberatly go to work as messy and unkempt as possible (It was a dollar store, if everyone didn't show up half stoned or black out drunk, it was a miracle of God). That still didn't work, and it only stopped when he switched jobs.

For a time, everything was all right. ImpossibleHunt4 worked as a shop hand. As you all know, nobody in their right mind would work in -50 C conditions if they weren't screwed in the head. But luckily for our protagonist, many say he was. While ImpossibleHunt 4 suffered from severe frostbite on his right ear (which he froze solid, but luckily thawed out), and frostbite on his fingers and toes; he was more at peace working here in the Northern Canadian winter, then getting hounded by a pack of girls.

But it was far from over. He had to leave his job due to lay-offs, and now found himself working as a store supervisor, putting him back in the spotlight. A few months ago, he was doing some studying at the coffee shop and writing in his journal, when he got asked out by yet another girl. He couldn't even focus on his work because this girl was literally staring at him, and didn't break eye contact. She licked her lips, played with her hair, and even winked at him.
He tried giving her cues that he wasn't interested, but she didn't budge. Several accounts state that it felt like his, and I quote, " goddamn heart was going to combust".
So here he was, ordering his 3rd cup of black coffee in a attempt to drown out the tension, and internally screaming so much that he was spilling it all over his history notes. And despite all the prayers for the opposite, She eventually did come over to ask him out. ImpossibleHunt 4 stared at his paper, and made the only decision worth making.

He took a large sip of his coffee (which burned all the way down his throat because he didn't cool it down. Dumbass.), took a deep breath, then he turned her down. The last thing Hunt4 remembered was the guy sitting across from him, who gave him the firm head-shake of dissapointment, and Hunt4 couldn't say he blamed him after some reflection.

At college, it was the same deal. I'll do you all a favour and spare you the awkardness.

But suddenly, more challengers had entered the fray. Some of his younger brother's friends tried to pursue him as well (with his brother trying to set things up). ImpossibleHunt 4 found this one particularly easy, since could just tell my brother he was not interested in them, and he would deliver the message. Problem solved. Who says siblings aren't good for something?

Now a few weeks ago, there was clerk at the local food market. ImpossibleHunt4 would just go in, grab food, then walk out. Nothing too crazy.
But everytime he would wait in line, he would catch this girl looking at him, and then looking away as soon as he glanced back at her. When he was at the local mall with his younger brother, she walked past him and said a soft "hey", looked down at the ground, and then walked away blushing.
His younger brother (who is the essential man-whore of the family) confirmed she liked him, and he was good to go to ask her out. Nothing could possibly stop ImpossibleHunt4, this time, he would have his chance.

So what did the wonderful, extravagant, ImpossibleHunt4 do in his moment of trial?
A) Went to the supermarket, swept her off her feet, and carried her off into the sunset (with her consent of course)?
B) Went to the supermarket, asked her out, then went on his first date?
C) "Omlette du Fromage"
D) Pretend like he didn't even notice her?

If you answered D), you are correct. If you didn't, I seriously question your comprehension skills.

ImpossibleHunt4 felt horrible doing it, but it was just his natural response.

Will ImpossibleHunt4 ever find the courage to go into a relationship? Or will he be doomed to a lifetime of reddit surfing (shudder).
.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................


"ImpossibleHunt5?"
"Yes, Timmy?"
"That was one of the worst stories I have ever read. The conclusion was totally anti-climactic, the narrative is inconsistent, and the main protagonist is totally unlikable".
"I know Timmy, I know"
 

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Y’know I skipped to the end and I liked the end the most, how you made fun of yourself, it shows you have a decent sense of awareness which is a good sign that you’re a cool person who maybe still hasn’t tapped into his potential, I think you should make more use of that sense of awareness in terms of fixing what you think you’re doing wrong and you’ll be just okay, hell maybe even better than okay
 

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INTJ 5w4 (Sx/Sp)
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Discussion Starter #3
Y’know I skipped to the end and I liked the end the most, how you made fun of yourself, it shows you have a decent sense of awareness which is a good sign that you’re a cool person who maybe still hasn’t tapped into his potential, I think you should make more use of that sense of awareness in terms of fixing what you think you’re doing wrong and you’ll be just okay, hell maybe even better than okay
Thanks, I’ll be sure to tell ImpossibleHunt4 about it. I could always make a cliff notes version if you want?
 

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INTJ 5w4 (Sx/Sp)
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Discussion Starter #4
I'm debating on writing a sequel.
We'll see how the consumer reviews are, and what their recommendations for a storyline are.
If the novella is successful, ImpossibleHunt4 has permitted me to interview him again.

Please guys, I need to pay rent somewhow...
 

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I'm only working two shifts a week because of Covid-19, so instead of just sitting around doing nothing, I'll opt for sitting around and doing nothing.
So maybe I'll tell a tale of a man by the name of ImpossibleHunt4 (he's my OC pls don't steal). It is a tale some may find entertaining and funny. However, for ImpossibleHunt4, it was a story of solitude, stubborness, reflection and regret.

"Hey Timmy, do you want me to read you a story before bed?"
"Yes ImpossibleHunt5, please do. Can you read me the story about pirates again?"
"Fuck no."


View attachment 866364

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
This here, is a story of a hopeless young man named ImpossibleHunt4, and his troubles with the opposite sex.
Despite all the odds, he had no problem attracting girls. And don't ask him how, he doesn't know either.
He was a pretty average looking fellow, and he was not known for being particularly romantic. So this made the attention all the more confusing, and draining.

But for whatever reason, the girls still chased after him, and ImpossibleHunt4 would tend to go totally aloof and cold when they do.
Now, he understood he was a Type 5 INFJ, but even so, he didn't think this was normal.

To any other man, this would be a dream come true. But for ImpossibleHunt4, he viewed it as a curse. He typically wanted to be left alone.
Maybe it was because he never went to Church, but God showed ImpossibleHunt4 that he had least had a twisted sense of humour.

It has been happening ever since high school. Every time he'd get asked out by a girl in class, he would then say "I'm sorry, I'm too busy for a relationship at the moment". Unbeknownst to the women, all he used to do was go home, read a little, then do research on whatever topic that interested him. That's it. "Too busy" my ass.
I think he may have pissed some of them off, as he was called gay in his final years of high school. Guess he should've seen that coming. Prick.

At his first job as a cashier at a dollar store, it got even worse. He had girls who actively stalked him around the store. But every time they would ask him out, he would either have to sneak his way into the stock room, or find some clever excuse to tell them no. It became such a problem that he would deliberatly go to work as messy and unkempt as possible (It was a dollar store, if everyone didn't show up half stoned or black out drunk, it was a miracle of God). That still didn't work, and it only stopped when he switched jobs.

For a time, everything was all right. ImpossibleHunt4 worked as a shop hand. As you all know, nobody in their right mind would work in -50 C conditions if they weren't screwed in the head. But luckily for our protagonist, many say he was. While ImpossibleHunt 4 suffered from severe frostbite on his right ear (which he froze solid, but luckily thawed out), and frostbite on his fingers and toes; he was more at peace working here in the Northern Canadian winter, then getting hounded by a pack of girls.

But it was far from over. He had to leave his job due to lay-offs, and now found himself working as a store supervisor, putting him back in the spotlight. A few months ago, he was doing some studying at the coffee shop and writing in his journal, when he got asked out by yet another girl. He couldn't even focus on his work because this girl was literally staring at him, and didn't break eye contact. She licked her lips, played with her hair, and even winked at him.
He tried giving her cues that he wasn't interested, but she didn't budge. Several accounts state that it felt like his, and I quote, " goddamn heart was going to combust".
So here he was, ordering his 3rd cup of black coffee in a attempt to drown out the tension, and internally screaming so much that he was spilling it all over his history notes. And despite all the prayers for the opposite, She eventually did come over to ask him out. ImpossibleHunt 4 stared at his paper, and made the only decision worth making.

He took a large sip of his coffee (which burned all the way down his throat because he didn't cool it down. Dumbass.), took a deep breath, then he turned her down. The last thing Hunt4 remembered was the guy sitting across from him, who gave him the firm head-shake of dissapointment, and Hunt4 couldn't say he blamed him after some reflection.

At college, it was the same deal. I'll do you all a favour and spare you the awkardness.

But suddenly, more challengers had entered the fray. Some of his younger brother's friends tried to pursue him as well (with his brother trying to set things up). ImpossibleHunt 4 found this one particularly easy, since could just tell my brother he was not interested in them, and he would deliver the message. Problem solved. Who says siblings aren't good for something?

Now a few weeks ago, there was clerk at the local food market. ImpossibleHunt4 would just go in, grab food, then walk out. Nothing too crazy.
But everytime he would wait in line, he would catch this girl looking at him, and then looking away as soon as he glanced back at her. When he was at the local mall with his younger brother, she walked past him and said a soft "hey", looked down at the ground, and then walked away blushing.
His younger brother (who is the essential man-whore of the family) confirmed she liked him, and he was good to go to ask her out. Nothing could possibly stop ImpossibleHunt4, this time, he would have his chance.

So what did the wonderful, extravagant, ImpossibleHunt4 do in his moment of trial?
A) Went to the supermarket, swept her off her feet, and carried her off into the sunset (with her consent of course)?
B) Went to the supermarket, asked her out, then went on his first date?
C) "Omlette du Fromage"
D) Pretend like he didn't even notice her?

If you answered D), you are correct. If you didn't, I seriously question your comprehension skills.

ImpossibleHunt4 felt horrible doing it, but it was just his natural response.

Will ImpossibleHunt4 ever find the courage to go into a relationship? Or will he be doomed to a lifetime of reddit surfing (shudder).
.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................


"ImpossibleHunt5?"
"Yes, Timmy?"
"That was one of the worst stories I have ever read. The conclusion was totally anti-climactic, the narrative is inconsistent, and the main protagonist is totally unlikable".
"I know Timmy, I know"
(I'm sipping lilt from an absinthe glass as I say this, I just thought it worth mentioning...) This was like some kind of lynx advert in the form of a humblebrag with some obligatory self-deprecation and angst sprinkled in at the end.

Sir, even if you could get into a relationship - is anything going to be as sweet to you as the sweet delusion that every woman who happens to look in your direction is besotted with you? See, if you end up in a relationship with an actual woman, she's going to seriously see and know you for who you actually are instead of this dazzling johnny depp waifish dollar store checkout catch you supposedly are currently.

Are you sure you can actually handle or deal with that?
 
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INTJ 5w4 (Sx/Sp)
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Discussion Starter #8
(I'm sipping lilt from an absinthe glass as I say this, I just thought it worth mentioning...) This was like some kind of lynx advert in the form of a humblebrag with some obligatory self-deprecation and angst sprinkled in at the end.

Sir, even if you could get into a relationship - is anything going to be as sweet to you as the sweet delusion that every woman who happens to look in your direction is besotted with you? See, if you end up in a relationship with an actual woman, she's going to seriously see and know you for who you actually are instead of this dazzling johnny depp waifish dollar store checkout catch you supposedly are currently.

Are you sure you can actually handle or deal with that?
Probably not. But I figured people would at least get a laugh out of it.
In regards to my point of view, all I did was just make a general observation. I have no clue how to deal with girls, but they seem to actively engage with me, whether I like it or not (and most times I don't). This whole situation sounds stupid, and it is. I just found it to be good material to make fun of.

I am well aware that no matter how I write my perspective, I would come off as a giant a-hole. That's the reason why I added self-depreciating humour to even things out a little. I'm not trying to take myself seriously here.
I had a lot of funny stories due to my sheer anxiety to get out of these encounters, and it made me do some pretty stupid stuff. The post is just highlighting that.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
This was like some kind of lynx advert in the form of a humblebrag with some obligatory self-deprecation and angst sprinkled in at the end.
After a while, I would say it's pretty normal to start noticing patterns in human behaviour. Now I'm not that arrogant to say that I'm 100% accurate all of the time (and by all means, if you think I've interpreted the women in the story wrong, use that as another point to laugh at me).
But for argument's sake (and because I'm curious), I propose an question...

Let's just say that due to the experiences of being asked out, I tend to notice warning signs before it occurs (not with 100% accuracy mind you, but I tend to sense it), just like with anyone with any sort of human behaviour. There is also not a whole lot left to interpretation when girls actively try to ask someone out. I'm don't believe I'm Cassanova, I'm just stating an observation.

Now, another part of me is extremely anxious in pursuing a relatonship with anyone, and will actively avoid any sign of one. This has been a problem as far back as I can remember.
Of course, this poses a problem.

Now, if you were suffering from this problem, and (fully knowing how ridiculous it sounds) you wanted to write about it; how would you go about writing this without it coming across as self-depreciating in tone?
 

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But everytime he would wait in line, he would catch this girl looking at him, and then looking away as soon as he glanced back at her. When he was at the local mall with his younger brother, she walked past him and said a soft "hey", looked down at the ground, and then walked away blushing.
His younger brother (who is the essential man-whore of the family) confirmed she liked him, and he was good to go to ask her out. Nothing could possibly stop ImpossibleHunt4, this time, he would have his chance.

So what did the wonderful, extravagant, ImpossibleHunt4 do in his moment of trial?
A) Went to the supermarket, swept her off her feet, and carried her off into the sunset (with her consent of course)?
B) Went to the supermarket, asked her out, then went on his first date?
C) "Omlette du Fromage"
D) Pretend like he didn't even notice her?

If you answered D), you are correct. If you didn't, I seriously question your comprehension skills.

ImpossibleHunt4 felt horrible doing it, but it was just his natural response.

Will ImpossibleHunt4 ever find the courage to go into a relationship? Or will he be doomed to a lifetime of reddit surfing (shudder).
.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................


"ImpossibleHunt5?"
"Yes, Timmy?"
"That was one of the worst stories I have ever read. The conclusion was totally anti-climactic, the narrative is inconsistent, and the main protagonist is totally unlikable".
"I know Timmy, I know"
I'm not an INFJ 5, but damn, this story was so relatable it hurt.

I'm also 22 and I've fucked up every chance of getting into a relationship I've ever had. I used to think it was because I'm ugly AF but I've received confirmation of people being attracted to me yet I still keep acting like an asshole to these people. I feel like shit once I realize I'm doing it but it happens so quickly that I can't stop myself, or I get too anxious to stop myself. It feels hopeless that I'll ever get the courage to get into a relationship.

Sorry about talking about myself, lol. Anyway, I agree with those who said the ending is the last part, it was amusing and you should write more :LOL:
 

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INTJ 5w4 (Sx/Sp)
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Discussion Starter #11
I'm not an INFJ 5, but damn, this story was so relatable it hurt.

I'm also 22 and I've fucked up every chance of getting into a relationship I've ever had. I used to think it was because I'm ugly AF but I've received confirmation of people being attracted to me yet I still keep acting like an asshole to these people. I feel like shit once I realize I'm doing it but it happens so quickly that I can't stop myself, or I get too anxious to stop myself. It feels hopeless that I'll ever get the courage to get into a relationship.

Sorry about talking about myself, lol. Anyway, I agree with those who said the ending is the last part, it was amusing and you should write more :LOL:
Good to know you could relate!
Makes life a bit easier when you know you aren't alone huh?

And no worries about talking about yourself, it's good to hear your perspective.
 

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After a while, I would say it's pretty normal to start noticing patterns in human behaviour. Now I'm not that arrogant to say that I'm 100% accurate all of the time (and by all means, if you think I've interpreted the women in the story wrong, use that as another point to laugh at me).
But for argument's sake (and because I'm curious), I propose an question...

Let's just say that due to the experiences of being asked out, I tend to notice warning signs before it occurs (not with 100% accuracy mind you, but I tend to sense it), just like with anyone with any sort of human behaviour. There is also not a whole lot left to interpretation when girls actively try to ask someone out. I'm don't believe I'm Cassanova, I'm just stating an observation.

Now, another part of me is extremely anxious in pursuing a relatonship with anyone, and will actively avoid any sign of one. This has been a problem as far back as I can remember.
Of course, this poses a problem.

Now, if you were suffering from this problem, and (fully knowing how ridiculous it sounds) you wanted to write about it; how would you go about writing this without it coming across as self-depreciating in tone?
I mean I'm joking in part because I'm sort of the same way - it's disgust at one's own kind.

It's good to be confident and to assume a person's interested - (it's better than hating yourself and constantly shooting yourself down at least) however the issue about not wanting to actually approach the girl or open the Schrodinger's Cat box is in your case I believe on the spectrum of perfectionism rather than low self-esteem or self-hatred.

It's similar to how people feel put off by being idolised or put on a pedestal - there's nowhere for you to go but DOWN because in your own mind aside from this superficial impression all they will get to understand or see from here is ugliness.

That the best you will be is seen fleetingly, momentarily, as a subject of interest (or attraction, indeed) from a distance - that's the best that's going to happen, that's the best you'll be - once she starts speaking to you she'll find out! She'll find out what a clueless dork yet asshole you are - and in neither case is your dorkiness or assholery a good sort of dorkiness or assholery in fact it's the worst kind of both, that you're skinny fat or suffer from erectile dysfunction or you live in your mother's house or whatever massive proposition-detonating failures you feel are yours to conceal and hide.

No, the most perfect you will be is seen from a distance, as a mystery - as something exciting but unknown which they can project their own misconceptions on.

My remedy to that kind of perfectionism is this:

A. Around you on this planet right now hundreds of thousands of people are dying. That's real. That's not a lie - it's just true and a simple fact - they're dying of cancer, coughing and convulsing and wishing they could die, they're dying of road accidents, legs burnt and hot and heavy and wet as they feel the actual life, the blood, the actual life. drain out of them as their heartbeat slows and wonder what good last words are - they're dying of heart attacks all undignified and suddenly in the fucking bath, faces all screwed up aghast as they clutch their chests hoping to be found only it's 2 weeks later after the smell becomes unbearable to the neighbors...

B. That happens to everyone - it's happening to you, to everyone you love or know, and everybody they love or know - it's all coming to an end and you're going to die in the least well-appointed and ugliest, most badly timed and heartbreaking sorts of ways with no regard to people's lives or their superifical impressions of what should happen.

In amidst that disgusting, crunchy reality, that true ugliness, there is no room for the beauty or for perfectionism of the kind you're searching for or to maintain in yourself - you are going to become ugly, you are inevitably going to become a disappointment, to be hurt, and to be hated, and to hurt and hate in your own stead - and these things are okay because the universe wouldn't have ordained decay in such a fashion as it does if it wasn't something which yields better growth and beauty on balance than if it didn't - and you have to learn to flow with its uglinesses in yourself instead of trying to make yourself exempt.


Or you know, maybe you just need to be more assertive bro...??

I don't know.
 
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Are you sure you like women? Or humans? Do you have desire? Thoughts of the opposite sex? Things in relation that which you fine appealling?

I use to not have a clue what to do with women (or girls, when I was younger.) until my mid twenties, when something activated in me. Suddenly, I could formulate entire strategies on a whim. Suddenly I could make moves and make things happen through my willpower alone.

It wouldn’t matter if I met them a moment ago in person, or a few weeks ago over the Internet. I just followed my heart (not to be interpreted as love).
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Are you sure you like women? Or humans? Do you have desire? Thoughts of the opposite sex? Things in relation that which you fine appealling?

I use to not have a clue what to do with women (or girls, when I was younger.) until my mid twenties, when something activated in me. Suddenly, I could formulate entire strategies on a whim. Suddenly I could make moves and make things happen through my willpower alone.

It wouldn’t matter if I met them a moment ago in person, or a few weeks ago over the Internet. I just followed my heart (not to be interpreted as love).
866434
 

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:LOL: Maybe?

You have to start with what it is you want. Outside of sex. Start simple too.

For example, I want to skate (roller skates) with my spouse so I picked up skating. Didn’t matter that I was doing it alone or that I didn’t have so much as a date. I did it for me and my future. Now I skate and someday I’ll be skating with her.

I’m not a teacher, so I hop this makes sense. It’s kinda like turning your life experiences into a map. So think about what you want with her (figurative her), turn that into your GPS destination, then build towards it. Every little thing that would contribute towards that experience is now worth doing.

If you’re living in the wrong place, make plans to help you be in the right place. Don’t settle for one plan either, make a million!

If you’re shy or awkward, well. . You gotta tackle THAT head on. Literally put yourself through that experience repeatedly until its no longer a dreadful thing. At least until you can say its not a problem, you don’t need to be an expert. Many women ignore our little flaws if our intentions are in the right place.

I think the main thing here though is to know what you want. Then dare approach with baby steps.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
:LOL: Maybe?

You have to start with what it is you want. Outside of sex. Start simple too.

For example, I want to skate (roller skates) with my spouse so I picked up skating. Didn’t matter that I was doing it alone or that I didn’t have so much as a date. I did it for me and my future. Now I skate and someday I’ll be skating with her.

I’m not a teacher, so I hop this makes sense. It’s kinda like turning your life experiences into a map. So think about what you want with her (figurative her), turn that into your GPS destination, then build towards it. Every little thing that would contribute towards that experience is now worth doing.

If you’re living in the wrong place, make plans to help you be in the right place. Don’t settle for one plan either, make a million!

If you’re shy or awkward, well. . You gotta tackle THAT head on. Literally put yourself through that experience repeatedly until its no longer a dreadful thing. At least until you can say its not a problem, you don’t need to be an expert. Many women ignore our little flaws if our intentions are in the right place.

I think the main thing here though is to know what you want. Then dare approach with baby steps.
That is some sound advice, I'll take it into consideraton.
Thanks!
 

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you are going to become ugly, you are inevitably going to become a disappointment, to be hurt, and to be hated, and to hurt and hate in your own stead
speak for yourself, Six 💁‍♀️💅🤳

Jk this post made my insides wither up & die a little because it's true also glad you're still around SMELL YA LATER BUTTHEAD
 

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There might be a lot of valuable skills and appreciation to learn during the metamorphosis from rabbit to cheetah.
Perhaps you put out “come and chase me” vibes and don’t know it? Surely it’s been gratifying to say “No” so many times when someone is bravely and vulnerably offering what they are for you to try on.

Switching over from the ease of saying no to the difficulties of eliciting “yes” might really change your world, make you appreciate things about people that were easy-come/easy-go before (and honestly THATs the thing that is bothering me... so many “no”s” that you might as well think women are tricksters or invasive or annoying and their feelings and dreams dispensable. I don’t feel like you’ve internalized that, but I get that you haven’t really learned to connect yet on an equal emotional level maybe with women? This would be part of the morphing that I think would be very important.

One thing is for sure... it won’t always be this easy. Actually, I think ease might be the root of the problem. Life might be too easy right now. Why should you risk and change? Why would you want to change into a cheetah? The simple answer is that then you control your own life and direct it to the happiness that you foresee but that’s maybe an Fi thing, not an INFJ thing... So right now there’s no reason it sounds like to really do what it takes to gain the skills needed to find a soul mate.

From what I can tell there are no stakes. You’ve got no skin in this game. You’re maybe not going to be very lonely if something doesn’t change now. Maybe you’re not going to be tortured by the lack of sex or the lack of companionship? Maybe finding your soul mate to build your future life with really hasn’t been top priority yet. I was a late bloomer too. It might become top priority still, but it doesn’t seem to be right now and that’s the real thing that is holding you back because if you want this to happen you will and can morph from rabbit to cheetah. It happens when we realize we are truly lacking someone to love and be loved by. There have to be stakes in this game to make it truly meaningful.

In the mean time... I know a few 40 year old men who have never learned to understand or appreciate skin in this game. They have never learned how to care about someone else besides themselves and hopefully something happens to you before that point because... it’s a lot to never develop or learn about. Having a partner is a huge source of growth and beauty.

Anyway, you’re probably fine until some point when you actually really want your own person there and will become what is needed. Good luck. Yes, I did enjoy the writing!
 
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Discussion Starter #20
There might be a lot of valuable skills and appreciation to learn during the metamorphosis from rabbit to cheetah.
Perhaps you put out “come and chase me” vibes and don’t know it? Surely it’s been gratifying to say “No” so many times when someone is bravely and vulnerably offering what they are for you to try on.

Switching over from the ease of saying no to the difficulties of eliciting “yes” might really change your world, make you appreciate things about people that were easy-come/easy-go before (and honestly THATs the thing that is bothering me... so many “no”s” that you might as well think women are tricksters or invasive or annoying and their feelings and dreams dispensable. I don’t feel like you’ve internalized that, but I get that you haven’t really learned to connect yet on an equal emotional level maybe with women? This would be part of the morphing that I think would be very important.

One thing is for sure... it won’t always be this easy. Actually, I think ease might be the root of the problem. Life might be too easy right now. Why should you risk and change? Why would you want to change into a cheetah? The simple answer is that then you control your own life and direct it to the happiness that you foresee but that’s maybe an Fi thing, not an INFJ thing... So right now there’s no reason it sounds like to really do what it takes to gain the skills needed to find a soul mate.

From what I can tell there are no stakes. You’ve got no skin in this game. You’re maybe not going to be very lonely if something doesn’t change now. Maybe you’re not going to be tortured by the lack of sex or the lack of companionship? Maybe finding your soul mate to build your future life with really hasn’t been top priority yet. I was a late bloomer too. It might become top priority still, but it doesn’t seem to be right now and that’s the real thing that is holding you back because if you want this to happen you will and can morph from rabbit to cheetah. It happens when we realize we are truly lacking someone to love and be loved by. There have to be stakes in this game to make it truly meaningful.

In the mean time... I know a few 40 year old men who have never learned to understand or appreciate skin in this game. They have never learned how to care about someone else besides themselves and hopefully something happens to you before that point because... it’s a lot to never develop or learn about. Having a partner is a huge source of growth and beauty.

Anyway, you’re probably fine until some point when you actually really want your own person there and will become what is needed. Good luck. Yes, I did enjoy the writing!
Maybe you're right. I guess a relationship is just not that important to me at the moment.

I don't know, it just seems that the normal thing is to be together with someone. I feel like a fish out of water when I see everyone else happy with someone, but Ican't seem to have it in myself to do the same thing.

Deep down, I don't think women are annoying or anything like that. I just think the bottom line is that I am really not comfortable with opening up about myself.
In fact, my responses on this forum are the most I have ever opened up to anyone in my life. Primarily because here, nobody knows me personally. That anominity really helps.

But I'll take your advice to heart. I won't rush anything until I feel that I am ready.
 
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