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I have a question for all the guys. (Are there even that many on this subforum?)

What do you think of girls asking out guys? I know the traditional way is for guys to ask out the girls, but tradition isn't exactly the prominent way of going about things these days.

So, what? Do you think it's weird, or is it alright? Does it put you in an uncomfortable position or make you feel like you have an obligation to say yes or no? What's your overall opinion?

Just curious.

'Cause I've been talking to this guy, and I've grown really frustrated with the stagnant way it's been lately. I've been debating whether I should take the plunge, or if I should wait it out and potentially wonder for the rest of my life if I made the wrong decision.
 

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I dunno if he is a traditionalist or not. The only problem I can think of is it may scare him if he was expecting to be the one to do it. Personally, I would not think differently of the person in question of they did it to me, but it would give me a bit of a shock at first. I think it is just the different'ness of it.
 

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Worked for me. If you're gonna do it, take the plunge, don't make it awkward by being like, "Um not sure if you want to and I know this might be weird".. approach it with confidence :) or else you run the risk of MAKING it weird.

But first judge your course of action by his character of course, if you think he'd be receptive to such an approach.
 

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I think it's kinda sexy when a women has confidence, but making me work for it will make me appreciate it more also. Ideally you lay the opportunity so it would be easy enough to not misinterpret signals

I don't understand women, frankly I don't understand men either, this whole race makes little sense to me. There is nothing worse than missed opportunity, even rejection
 

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I know some people do, but I don't have a problem with women asking out guys. If you see someone you like, why not? Women have made the first move and asked me out before, and I've found it flattering. (And confidence is attractive to me.) It takes a while for me to ask someone out, because first I have to see whether they're someone I would ask out, and then I try to evaluate whether or not she would be receptive to saying yes if I asked. I also know that men have a lower threshold for labeling interested behavior than women do, which leads to a woman's friendly behavior being misinterpreted as her being interested in him (Shotland & Craig, 1988), which makes me even more guarded against reading into something that isn't there. For me it's actually resulted in the opposite, times where I didn't pick up on where the woman actually was interested in me and was actually flirting with me and being more than friendly. :laughing:

Female-initiated courtship. Almost all of the men in the study reported that they had experienced female-initiated courtship, and most reported positive feelings about this behavior. Men reported feeling flattered by women’s advances, especially if it involved a partner that they considered suitable for a possible long-term relationship. Men also liked female-initiated courtship because it removed uncertainty about the woman’s interest in them.
 

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I'm all for women stepping up to the plate first. It's a nice change of pace. Also, I tend to find the idea that men are obligated to this position as silly as women being obligated to stay in the kitchen making sandwiches. :eek:P Anyway, at the very least, I'm all for women being more obvious when they like someone. Being all subtle and coy is cute, up to a point. But if you're gonna make the guy go out on that limb, at least try to make it obviously safe for him to be there in the first place.
 

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I agree with the above. If it's what you want, the burden of making it happen is on YOU. I don't care what society says. Society can be pretty dumb.

I'd think MORE of a girl that did that. It says 2 things:

1. I'm confident

2. I am willing to disregard the norms to get what I want
 

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Usually I'd say "Yeah go ahead, I wish girls asked me out, it'd be so much easier" but the case might be that he can tell you like him, and he's not interested. It's pretty easy to let a guy know that you're interested. Whether it be hardcore flirting or just being comfortable around him and using body language. But some guys are too shy, even when they think someone likes them. There's always a risk.
 

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Took me by surprise when my SO asked me out, she simply beat me to the punch, I was going to ask her out in the next couple days. I didn't mind at all, kinda liked it.

By all means it's always worth giving it a shot, good luck!
 

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I have a question for all the guys. (Are there even that many on this subforum?)

What do you think of girls asking out guys? I know the traditional way is for guys to ask out the girls, but tradition isn't exactly the prominent way of going about things these days.

So, what? Do you think it's weird, or is it alright? Does it put you in an uncomfortable position or make you feel like you have an obligation to say yes or no? What's your overall opinion?

Just curious.

'Cause I've been talking to this guy, and I've grown really frustrated with the stagnant way it's been lately. I've been debating whether I should take the plunge, or if I should wait it out and potentially wonder for the rest of my life if I made the wrong decision.
do it, he will think you're awesome for it
 

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Do it. As a guy, it's flattering to be asked out by a girl once in a while. I don't know any guys (except maybe very traditional men from foreign countries) who would be taken aback by it. Most of them would like it. If he likes you, he will say yes.

@TheBly That's a huge gender stereotype. Some girls are too shy to flirt. Some guys flirt a lot better than girls do. Also, while girls can "hardcore flirt" or use body language, a surprising number of guys are completely unable to read such signals. It may be easy to signal the guy that you're interested but that doesn't mean it's easy for the guy to notice that you are interested. In the end, no matter who asks, there is always some uncertainty and risk of rejection. That doesn't mean fear of the unknown should keep you from pursuing someone you're interested in. You think guys only ask out girls when they are 100% sure from the girl's body language that she will say yes? Ha. No.
 

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I've never actually initiated things romantically with a girl. Many approached me and I loved their confidence. Confidence is really attractive. (None of them worked out, largely because most of them were psychos. That's neither here nor there...) The thing that pisses me off is when I see a girl that I haven't seen for a while and she does the whole 'I used to have the biggest crush on you' thing. "You said nothing and you got nothing" is my response. Guys don't always pay attention and many girls are bad at giving 'signs' or 'hints' that they are interested. Any time a girl has shown interest in me I at least considered her, no matter how much her personality already repulsed me. Besides, gender roles are kinda BS in my opinion, but that's another topic...
One warning though, don't come on too strong if you do ask him out.
Two warnings actually... if you two are friends, asking him out may seem like you're taking away the option of being friends and add pressure and uncertainty. I've seen this happen before, obviously it varies from person to person.
 

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Took me by surprise when my SO asked me out, she simply beat me to the punch, I was going to ask her out in the next couple days. I didn't mind at all, kinda liked it.

By all means it's always worth giving it a shot, good luck!
Pretty much, this.

Being the one who does this is comforting for me because I have a bit more control over the situation. I think of the possibilities that may come up after I ask the question, and prepare a response mentally for whatever comes up that I have foreseen.

And I haven't any regrets on my decision either.
 

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The idea of a man having to ask a women out is outdated, and old school. This is 2012, times are different. If you like this guy, take the plunge, ask him out. If you don't the answer will always be no. He can only say yes or no. You have nothing to lose. So what if he says no, at least you don't have to question it for the rest of your life, you will have your answer. If he says yes, great, go out and have an amazing time. Good luck, i'm rooting for you ;)
 

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I don't see why more girls do this? The fear of rejection is hard for both genders.

Honestly, in this day in age (op discluded of course) women want to take on male roles, however, are reluctant to accept the baggage that go with some of them. For example, they want to be treated equal as men, yet some women expect the guy to ask them out since it's the traditional chivlorous manner. Well, we're in the new milenium now, and taking on beneficial roles for the male, and refusing the more difficult tasks. AKA having your cake and eating it too, is really unfair. So if you expect equal pay in the work force, you guys (i mean girls) need to sack up your vaginas.
 

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I think more should, personally I hate that it's a sort of societal standard for only guys to ask out women. Why shouldn't a women ask out the guys, after all a lot of guys (myself included) usually tend to be quite nervous about it, so if the girl is confident or courageous enough to, then by all means why shouldn't she?
 
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