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Discussion Starter #1
Like what's your relationship with them?

 


Thinking back, i just recently realized that my crush was an isfj :) (i have to leave him though due to unforeseen circumstances)

It's like, isfj are very nice people. My favorite thing about them is when they love to listen to me

And they love me from being crazy!

Those are two isfj

No matter what i do, they love me!

 

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Like what's your relationship with them?

 


Thinking back, i just recently realized that my crush was an isfj :) (i have to leave him though due to unforeseen circumstances)

It's like, isfj are very nice people. My favorite thing about them is when they love to listen to me

And they love me from being crazy!

Those are two isfj

No matter what i do, they love me!


Oh, the FJs. The more you are surrounded by them and the more you benefit from them, the more you end up craving them.

One of the things I like about ISFJs in particular is how amazing they think we ENTPs are. From the way they look at us to the way they talk about us and to us, it makes me feel like indeed we are amazing. :laughing:
I had a student last year who was an ISFJ. He was one of these wonderful students who was always helpful and who looked up to me as though I was the best teacher ever. Long story short, even though he was married and had a kid, he kind of made a pass at me. I thought he was cute, but I didn't think it appropriate so nothing happened.
 
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So i dated one for a while but my experience should not override what you know about someone from years of observation. Take it with a grain of salt. Any personality can be compatible with any other. And nobody is perfect.


 
Well to see the other side of things...i was living with and dating an isfj for few years. Almost got engaged but in the end we ended up being too different and incompatible. I think we admired each other a lot in the beginning but things changed and the things we used to think were cute ended up being frustrating. Communication became very rough. Actually it never was that terrific. Resentment built up. It just got kind of ugly in the end. Anyways thats not to say it will always be that way but from my experience we got along great if we didnt live with each other for too long.

The thing that bugged me the most was that when he did something nice he always seemed to want something in return. To me that defeats the purpose. And he always felt like he had to do certain things, like fancy meals, that werent a big deal to me. Then he'd get upset because i should of done something in return. Meanwhile i wanted to hang out and do fun things and spend less time cooking or doing chores. He just could not relax unless everything was done. Things would be done sometimes and then magically new things had to be done right then! I couldnt understand it. It drove me nuts.

And for him...he didnt like communicating directly. He thought i was being rude when i did and i thought he was being passive aggressive a lot of the time.

Also towards the end he'd ask what i wanted but then wouldnt get what i wanted but what he thought i should have. It was "good for me". I could never understand why he bothered to ask to begin with if he was going to do it his way. That was a very ugly fight.

Also some people described him as being nice but not friendly. So maybe if he was both itd be a different story. i got tired of the constant fighting. It wasnt good for either of us.

Anyways everyones different and some of this was socialization but that was my experience. I do think isfjs are very sweet and caring people. It would be completely unfair to judge all of them based on this one individual but this just illustrated how things could go wrong.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
So i dated one for a while but my experience should not override what you know about someone from years of observation. Take it with a grain of salt. Any personality can be compatible with any other. And nobody is perfect.


 
Well to see the other side of things...i was living with and dating an isfj for few years. Almost got engaged but in the end we ended up being too different and incompatible. I think we admired each other a lot in the beginning but things changed and the things we used to think were cute ended up being frustrating. Communication became very rough. Actually it never was that terrific. Resentment built up. It just got kind of ugly in the end. Anyways thats not to say it will always be that way but from my experience we got along great if we didnt live with each other for too long.

The thing that bugged me the most was that when he did something nice he always seemed to want something in return. To me that defeats the purpose. And he always felt like he had to do certain things, like fancy meals, that werent a big deal to me. Then he'd get upset because i should of done something in return. Meanwhile i wanted to hang out and do fun things and spend less time cooking or doing chores. He just could not relax unless everything was done. Things would be done sometimes and then magically new things had to be done right then! I couldnt understand it. It drove me nuts.

And for him...he didnt like communicating directly. He thought i was being rude when i did and i thought he was being passive aggressive a lot of the time.

Also towards the end he'd ask what i wanted but then wouldnt get what i wanted but what he thought i should have. It was "good for me". I could never understand why he bothered to ask to begin with if he was going to do it his way. That was a very ugly fight.

Also some people described him as being nice but not friendly. So maybe if he was both itd be a different story. i got tired of the constant fighting. It wasnt good for either of us.

Anyways everyones different and some of this was socialization but that was my experience. I do think isfjs are very sweet and caring people. It would be completely unfair to judge all of them based on this one individual but this just illustrated how things could go wrong.
Oh i didn't see that coming

I find relationship with Ixtps very chill though, by experience (but no spark because ixtp have no feelings; or.. they have, but they lack empathy lol)

I just like the Fe of isfj i guess, but haven't experienced being in a romantic relationship with one yet.

Probably i just like the attention
 

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My main issue with ISFJs is that they often overestimate how nice they are to others, to the point that they're actually a bit delusional about what they're "owed" and have rather skewed memories of events. What's worse, they expect some kind of praise/compensation for their good behaviour, and will play the poor victim when they do not receive it.

They are really lovely, caring individuals though. That I admire about them. And someone mentioned it above but I'll say it again - their appreciation for me is probably what I like best about them. Though I receive the same attention from most FJ types, so it's not something unique to ISFJs.
 

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Oh i didn't see that coming

I find relationship with Ixtps very chill though, by experience (but no spark because ixtp have no feelings; or.. they have, but they lack empathy lol)

I just like the Fe of isfj i guess, but haven't experienced being in a romantic relationship with one yet.

Probably i just like the attention
Yeah hope that wasnt too much of a bummer. I've been kind of intrigued by the IXTPs lately but i've been noticing what you're saying. Spark is hard to find because we are so emotionally avoidant. I guess im fine without the over the top empathy because i get plenty of it from my job. Fe activation is very useful in the healthcare field. Also, kind of surrounded by emotions all day so i guess it'll be nice to not have to deal with too much of it after work. Everyone's environment is different, so what works for me might not be great for you and vice versa. Maybe Fe is just what you need right now in your life. I'd really like more Ti. lol.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Yeah hope that wasnt too much of a bummer. I've been kind of intrigued by the IXTPs lately but i've been noticing what you're saying. Spark is hard to find because we are so emotionally avoidant. I guess im fine without the over the top empathy because i get plenty of it from my job. Fe activation is very useful in the healthcare field. Also, kind of surrounded by emotions all day so i guess it'll be nice to not have to deal with too much of it after work. Everyone's environment is different, so what works for me might not be great for you and vice versa. Maybe Fe is just what you need right now in your life. I'd really like more Ti. lol.
I see. I usually use more Ti in my life right now... Plus kind of Te plus Si -_-

Check that fuck out so, my job is kind of stressful
My only benefit is Ti (programming)
 

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I dunno...I wonder why they care so much. The great lengths they'd go is very intriguing. I'm very uncertain with touchy feely types. I find them a bit oversensitive and that is just downright hilarious. And I hate the love for culture when they bring me in it.
 
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