Girls what level of romance do you need in a couple?
21 - 32 of 32 Posts
Joined
·
6,102 Posts
Everyone answering needs to define 'romance'. Everyone have a different understand of it.
My GF thinks I'm the most romantic guy ever and didn't think such romance could even exist.
When she says that my inner confusion lingers and screams "what the hell is romance then?!" because I've never considered me as a particularly romantic guy and I've always rejected poems, movies, pictures and romantic thoughts. She on the other hand loves reading due to her job, interest and other responsibilities.
I'm not into romance in the traditional sense of buying flowers and inviting ceremoniously s.o to a classy restaurant, it makes me feel like I have to play the part of some perfect trophy woman in return and it can get a bit in the way of creating complicity and just of being silly together. Even as long as couple activities go, I'd rather the guy and I do some surprising stuff together for the sake of discovery instead of following some perfect couple scenario.
I want A LOT of intimacy however as in let's share our more secret thoughts and desires. Cuddles are super important too.
I want A LOT of intimacy however as in let's share our more secret thoughts and desires. Cuddles are super important too.
Joined
·
10,154 Posts
This question made me chuckle.
I think I fall into medium
I think I fall into medium
Joined
·
1,534 Posts
It could mean romance in the traditional sense, intimacy or simply showing that you care about her. As @Deuce said.
I'm a guy and yes I know this question was directed towards girls. But I'm not replying to the question, I'm replying to an answer of the question. Personally, I don't like romance in the traditional sense, not even to the level of flowers, it all seems kind of cheap and pompous. But I like intimacy, being able to be yourself around the other person, being able to share your more secret thoughts and desires. That is more romantic than 1000 flowers. As well as showing care, because at the end of the day, this is what love is, care. It's very comforting to know that someone cares about you. And not caring about your looks, but caring about the person you are, caring that you feel good, wanting the best for you.
Joined
·
10,473 Posts
My stance on romance has changed a lot. I've had guys shower me with diamonds and ish shortly into a relationship, but looking back, it kinda felt like love bombing.
I got sick in late January, and was a little out of it for a few days, lost my phone. My bf literally tore apart a couch, late to work, trying to help me find it.
Through GPS and my history (that I could access from other devices), I knew it had to be somewhere at the house tho.
The day before the trash went out - and we'd checked just about everywhere else - I told him I was gonna wake up at like 5 am (felt too tired and sick to do it that night) and check the trash. We have a bunch of roommates, so it was an undertaking lol.
I'm going through what's already been thrown outside, and he comes down, all bleary eyed, and starts helping (I told him not to!) Then he goes upstairs to grab the present kitchen trash bag. We both agreed that it prob wasn't there - those bags go fast with so many roommates, and I'd lost my phone several days ago... but, he went through it anyway. And FOUND it, lol, at the very bottom. Underneath a plate of nachos I'd tossed. I was kinda dazed at the time, remember talking to a roommate then, and I guess my phone was in the same hand.
I showered him in kisses, and, honestly, it might be the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. Going through the trash with me at 5 am lol.
I got sick in late January, and was a little out of it for a few days, lost my phone. My bf literally tore apart a couch, late to work, trying to help me find it.
Through GPS and my history (that I could access from other devices), I knew it had to be somewhere at the house tho.
The day before the trash went out - and we'd checked just about everywhere else - I told him I was gonna wake up at like 5 am (felt too tired and sick to do it that night) and check the trash. We have a bunch of roommates, so it was an undertaking lol.
I'm going through what's already been thrown outside, and he comes down, all bleary eyed, and starts helping (I told him not to!) Then he goes upstairs to grab the present kitchen trash bag. We both agreed that it prob wasn't there - those bags go fast with so many roommates, and I'd lost my phone several days ago... but, he went through it anyway. And FOUND it, lol, at the very bottom. Underneath a plate of nachos I'd tossed. I was kinda dazed at the time, remember talking to a roommate then, and I guess my phone was in the same hand.
I showered him in kisses, and, honestly, it might be the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. Going through the trash with me at 5 am lol.
Not all but with many men, service is one of their love languages, likely because of impacts of gender roles since they're less equipped with emotional language. If a guy's willing to put himself out for you, he's into you.
Just enough to keep things interesting.
Never an excess that would serve as an unwelcome distraction.
Never an excess that would serve as an unwelcome distraction.
^^Yup^^ My boyfriend subtly would stress the bolded when we first started dating and I would have to agree.
Back to the OP's original inquiry. Romantically, I would love to hold hands and kiss more. But being that my bf is more of an acts of service love dialect, it's making time to do small things together that tend to bring out his verbal affirmations of romance. And as time has gone on, his acts of service has tended to be of greater importance and value then the desire of acts of certain forms of physical affection.
Joined
·
10,473 Posts
His top languages are the same as mine - physical affection and quality time. We have done the more stereotypically romantic stuff too. (Did a couples trip for Valentines Day, for instance, and we filled the room with candles... I'd never really done that before (it was my idea, but he was game for it), and it was romantic).
But yea, acts of service is prob up there. I think I've confused this with gift giving before, which is honestly pretty low for me. He's good at that too tho! He doesn't try to impress me with how much money he's spent or something, he gives genuinely thoughtful gifts that show that he really listens to me. (I think that I'm a thoughtful gift giver myself).
I think that I maybe hold words of affirmation higher than I thought that I did tho, and there could be more of that. But actions speak louder than words, so. And I think you're right in that a lot of guys tend to be more action oriented.
I've legit been broken up with because my boyfriend at the time made a fancy dinner and asked me to bring over a romantic movie. He didn't appreciate that I brought Jurassic Park.
Obviously, I need a ton and am highly romantic.
Obviously, I need a ton and am highly romantic.
21 - 32 of 32 Posts
Join the discussion
Join now to ask and comment!