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Discussion Starter · #21 ·
It was Valentine's Day. The object of my affection was sitting at his desk, occupied with taking cards out of his decorated shoebox container. I winked at him. He pretended not to notice. With mischief in my eyes, I turned to the boy closest to me, "Do you dare me to kiss him?" I asked, knowing the answer already. With unholy glee, he answered in the affirmative. I approached my quarry with care, coming up in his blind spot so he would be unaware of my presence until I was directly behind him. He lifted his head, aware of someone in his personal space. As he turned his head, I threw my arms around him, planted a bold kiss on his cheek, and effectively scarred him for life. This was second grade. He was too quick for my second attempt. :p

>.> I don't really have a vast amount of experience....
I loved this. Thank you.

I remember being chased around the school playgrounds by girls in the second grade. All trying to plant kisses on me. Felt like I was running for my life. Wish I could have that back again...lmao
 

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I have to say probably the most electrical kiss I've ever had was with my forbidden love just a few weeks ago. It wasn't my ideal setting, not terribly planned out but a little liquid courage gave me just the push I needed to lean in and go for it. The two of us have had a connection pretty much since we met, it was just a matter of who made the first move. We were sitting at the back of a pretty nice bar (not fancy though, just clean and more upscale than a dive) watching a rockabilly band and my friend's burlesque troupe. It was a country meets punk kinda crowd. Gotta love a fusion of genres like that. Anyway, I excuse myself to the restroom, maybe to talk some sense into myself, maybe to talk myself into escalating this thing between us. I don't know. I pee, I wash my hands, I go find my seat next to her again. I don't really remember everything that went down, probably due to one part alcohol, one part my heart pounding in my ears. All I know is I look over at her. She's giving me this seductive look as per usual. Those eyes! I say in my head 'fuck it, she wants this.' so I lean in. She immediately presses her lips on mine and I completely lose myself in space and time. I can remember how soft her lips were, how gentle her kisses and her whispering in my ear 'I've wanted to do this for so long'.
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Discussion Starter · #23 ·
Tonight is the night. Wish me luck.

It will either go splendidly well... make-out sessions and sum lovin' (Good God do I ever need some lovin...lol) or terribly terribly wrong and it will explode in my face.

The anticipation is killing me....
 
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Tonight is the night. Wish me luck.

It will either go splendidly well... make-out sessions and sum lovin' (Good God do I ever need some lovin...lol) or terribly terribly wrong and it will explode in my face.

The anticipation is killing me....
Good luck.

And even if things don't work out... remember... it's just another step down the road...

looking for that special girl.
 

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OK. So here is the story...

I am an NF. ENFP to be exact. With my head in the clouds I am easily swayed by romance, passion, love, sensuality... Lately, I can't seem to get my INFJ friend out of my mind. I am craaazy about her.

I want someone to feel that way about me too, and it's never going to happen damn it.

GIMME ALL YOUR LOVIN, ALL YOUR HUGS AND KISSES TOO!! De ne ne ne ne ne ne... oops I just noticed the time. I'm up in 3 hours. Night all xxxx
 

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The moment I started reading this, I couldn't stop. Wow. But I wish I hadn't read it. I am mid twenties and I have never kissed a girl nor been kissed. I've never really been on a date either. I wish I hadn't read this because it brings up a lot of things I have hoped for in the passed that I have managed to push away. Like Zomboy, I am a bit jealous too.

I hope it works out great for you though. I hope for you that your passion together might lead to commitment vs something that goes with the wind, so to speak.
 

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I want someone to feel that way about me too, and it's never going to happen damn it.

GIMME ALL YOUR LOVIN, ALL YOUR HUGS AND KISSES TOO!! De ne ne ne ne ne ne... oops I just noticed the time. I'm up in 3 hours. Night all xxxx
With that negative atitude, of course it won't :laughing:, try to feel positive about it and hope it will and strive to make it happen and it will. :happy:

The moment I started reading this, I couldn't stop. Wow. But I wish I hadn't read it. I am mid twenties and I have never kissed a girl nor been kissed. I've never really been on a date either. I wish I hadn't read this because it brings up a lot of things I have hoped for in the passed that I have managed to push away. Like Zomboy, I am a bit jealous too.

I hope it works out great for you though. I hope for you that your passion together might lead to commitment vs something that goes with the wind, so to speak.
I was first kissed when I was about 20 or 21 and I had the same feeling, of it happening too late. I wouldn't feel to bad about it, I learned in time that kissing the wrong person is like kissing an object, it produces no emotion inside. Maybe you should analyse what is actually stopping you from going on a date or using each opportunity to meet people and let go of the fear and do it. I see you are a cancer too, so I can relate a lot to how you are feeling. I think you just have to find the right person and to do so, you must go out there and find it. A lot of NFs hang out in libraries, book shops, cool artsy places with interesting music, parks and so on. You should just go there, hang out with friends and enjoy some good time and maybe be a little more active. I don't know what your life story is, this was how I tried to do it. :happy:
 

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Discussion Starter · #29 ·
Good luck.

And even if things don't work out... remember... it's just another step down the road...

looking for that special girl.
Right. Why do I feel like Bill Murray from What about Bob? Baby steps to the subway. Baby steps to the girl. Baby steps to the restaurant....lol
 
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Discussion Starter · #30 ·
I want someone to feel that way about me too, and it's never going to happen damn it.

GIMME ALL YOUR LOVIN, ALL YOUR HUGS AND KISSES TOO!! De ne ne ne ne ne ne... oops I just noticed the time. I'm up in 3 hours. Night all xxxx
Shit. No no no no. That was not the point of the damn thread. lol. Seems like I am making more people feel bad than willing to share a memorable kiss of theirs. I am sorry. Was not my attention. What are you talking about you crazy Scot? Why would it never happen? INFJ's have such an amazing personality... they are love and feeling incarnate. Shit. Where is that post I made.....?

http://personalitycafe.com/infj-forum-protectors/5866-falling-love-infj-way-5.html

Read that thread. Surprised no-one has commented since me... but I guess I summed it up very well.

I think the main problem is that INFJ's and ENFx's hang in different circles. Find other ENF's. They will remind you how wonderful and special you truly are. Chin up. We need all the love in the world we can sum up together.

Abrazos.
 
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Discussion Starter · #31 ·
The moment I started reading this, I couldn't stop. Wow. But I wish I hadn't read it. I am mid twenties and I have never kissed a girl nor been kissed. I've never really been on a date either. I wish I hadn't read this because it brings up a lot of things I have hoped for in the passed that I have managed to push away. Like Zomboy, I am a bit jealous too.

I hope it works out great for you though. I hope for you that your passion together might lead to commitment vs something that goes with the wind, so to speak.
God Damn it! Another one. This one is from Taiwan. Read what I wrote above. Especially the link. You INFJ's really need to seek out other ENF's to help get you out of your "Cave Modes". See another thread.

You have "managed to push away"? How is that? What have you done to push positive feelings and such away? Maybe stop doing that. Be more receptive. It is unfortunate that the kindness and beauty of the INFJ can be manipulated by some less favorable characters in the world. Be strong. Fight for what you want. No-one else will do it for you. Actually that's not true... but for the most part it is. We are ultimately responsible for our own happiness.

Perhaps you need to push past your own boundaries. Step out of your comfort zone. I know that's tough for you... but if you don't push paaaast your limits, you will never know where they truly lay. More often than not, you will find yourself on the threshold of some kind of new experience/feeling and when it is all said and done, you will think, "Gosh. That wasn't so bad. Actually... it feels pretty good!"
 

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Discussion Starter · #32 ·
With that negative atitude, of course it won't :laughing:, try to feel positive about it and hope it will and strive to make it happen and it will. :happy:



I was first kissed when I was about 20 or 21 and I had the same feeling, of it happening too late. I wouldn't feel to bad about it, I learned in time that kissing the wrong person is like kissing an object, it produces no emotion inside. Maybe you should analyse what is actually stopping you from going on a date or using each opportunity to meet people and let go of the fear and do it. I see you are a cancer too, so I can relate a lot to how you are feeling. I think you just have to find the right person and to do so, you must go out there and find it. A lot of NFs hang out in libraries, book shops, cool artsy places with interesting music, parks and so on. You should just go there, hang out with friends and enjoy some good time and maybe be a little more active. I don't know what your life story is, this was how I tried to do it. :happy:
Well said.
 

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Discussion Starter · #33 ·
Update 2:

OK. Soooo I still have time to plan that perfect kiss.... because it didn't happen last night. Dying over here.

This is not to say I didn't have an awesome night though. We didn't do anything particularly amazing or anything. Went to a quaint, romantic, small, intimate restaurant. Shared some great food, conversation, and wine.

I know she is in to me now. No doubts. However, I feel like I am still being.... measured. Is this common with you (INFJ's)? Does it take you a while to let someone in? To let someone close enough to truly move you...physically? How interestingly paradoxical. You have so much love for people, go out of your way to be the good-for-all-occasion-nurse, and yet... it takes a while for the outsider to penetrate that inner circle of yours. I also understand that physical intimacy for the INFJ is a kin to euphoria...which would explain why you are very selective with whom you share it with.

Thoughts?
 

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Thanks for the advice. I'm afraid of many things, and I seldom get over them. But I understand what you are saying. Too cautious and afraid, yes indeed.

Wow I hope you find the right moment!

As for letting people in, I like to explain myself in an analogy. My entirety is a puzzle, it is made up of 1000 pieces, lets say. I will give everyone at least one piece, some many more than others, but nobody and I mean nobody gets all the pieces to see the picture.

Why? There are some parts of me that no one knows about and I am only comfortable keeping it this way. Also, I'm afraid that certain pieces are not so attractive to others and so I hide those pieces. Generally though, the more I trust you, the more pieces you get to see. I know this makes me sound crazy, but that's the best I can explain it.

So to a stranger? A stranger usually gets a small number of pieces (ex. 5/1000) and it takes some time to get more.

You seem to understand us INFJ's pretty well. For example, I care a lot about people, enough that I considered making a career out of it. All the while, I have never had a good friend who was a girl, let alone a "girlfriend". But this sad business doesn't stop me from being hopeful and idealistic that I can help others achieve things in their life. This is probably the driving force for me, trying to be a good example in how I live by trying to help others.

Please don't mind my religious stuff here but to tell you how important helping is to me.
The greatest commandment in my faith is to love the lord with all your heart and all your mind (paraphrasing)
The second is to love thy neighbor as thyself (paraphrasing). I try to take this to heart.
 

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Update 2:

I know she is in to me now. No doubts. However, I feel like I am still being.... measured. Is this common with you (INFJ's)? Does it take you a while to let someone in? To let someone close enough to truly move you...physically? How interestingly paradoxical. You have so much love for people, go out of your way to be the good-for-all-occasion-nurse, and yet... it takes a while for the outsider to penetrate that inner circle of yours. I also understand that physical intimacy for the INFJ is a kin to euphoria...which would explain why you are very selective with whom you share it with.

Thoughts?
It's one thing to be the "good-for-all-occasion-nurse", that's relatively easy. Because that's just letting a person come as close as the moat around the castle. I'm stilly comfy cozy on the other side of the wall in my pajamas eating my bonbons and watching tv. At least for me, to let someone closer, means changing a lot in my world because I accomodate for them. It means going from running things smoothly, exactly how I want things, to making room for another in my life. And I'm not going to get dressed, out of my pajamas, for just anyone. :tongue:

If I've reached the point where I'm like, yes, I'm totally into this guy. Then I just look like the god damned chesire cat, grinning from ear to ear. And I hope to god he feels the same, because I almost never reach this point (anymore...as I get older), and if so - please god - let him kiss me quick before I pass out from anticipation. And god help him, if he doesn't and I go home with nothing.

After a couple of times, I start to close up shop and assume he isn't really interested, because it's SUPER hard to just stay open like that indefinitely because it lets all the cold air into the castle where I'd really rather just have my comfy pajamas on, and I'm not going to just stand there with the door open, I mean make up your mind are you going to stay out or come in? Are you a cat? I mean...uh.....oooooops. /rant

But seriously :crazy: Who knows. I'm different from when I was younger. And I'm different with each guy. So, even I don't know about me. There are those moments that I've only just met the person and something in me snaps (in a good way) and I'm all in, right from the get go.

Ok. Way past my bedtime. I'm just throwing that in, just in case this post makes completely no sense, because I sick of trying to reread it and editing it to make sense...and too much work to erase it all now. So. There.
 

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Update 2:

OK. Soooo I still have time to plan that perfect kiss.... because it didn't happen last night. Dying over here.

This is not to say I didn't have an awesome night though. We didn't do anything particularly amazing or anything. Went to a quaint, romantic, small, intimate restaurant. Shared some great food, conversation, and wine.

I know she is in to me now. No doubts. However, I feel like I am still being.... measured. Is this common with you (INFJ's)? Does it take you a while to let someone in? To let someone close enough to truly move you...physically? How interestingly paradoxical. You have so much love for people, go out of your way to be the good-for-all-occasion-nurse, and yet... it takes a while for the outsider to penetrate that inner circle of yours. I also understand that physical intimacy for the INFJ is a kin to euphoria...which would explain why you are very selective with whom you share it with.

Thoughts?
Well you got a point... Intimacy is very euphoric... it's a highly emotional and physical experience.

And INFJs... especially those who have been used/hurt are pretty cautious.

Even so... we also have a hard time taking the initiative in these type of situations... you have to balance sensitivity for her caution with... sensitivity for her lack of go-getter attitude.

Keep an eye out for a cue. :proud:
 

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Wow, I'm loving some of the analogies on here! Thanks, Jwing24, for the puzzle analogy, and Bright Laughter, for the castle comparison! : ) They both really made sense to me. Burning Lion: As much as I hate to admit this, I've never been kissed....(and starting to doubt that I ever will be :unsure: ) so I really don't have any experiences to share with you. However, my advice to you would be, don't wait too long! As cautious as we are, INFJ's don't like to be left wondering about a person's feelings. If she is into you, she probably can't wait to be able to express it freely. She just needs your affirmation. (I'm a huge fan of ENFP's, btw.... even though one hurt me deeply. I wanted so badly to give him all my love and affection! Somehow I sense your INFJ feels similarly. : ) If I were to imagine an ideal first kiss, I would think the more natural, the better. Too much planning might end up making her feel a bit awkward. Just be sincere about your feelings, and basically be the romantic creature we know you are ; ) and you can't go wrong. Let us know how it turns out! : )
 

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Shit. No no no no. That was not the point of the damn thread. lol. Seems like I am making more people feel bad than willing to share a memorable kiss of theirs. I am sorry. Was not my attention. What are you talking about you crazy Scot? Why would it never happen? INFJ's have such an amazing personality... they are love and feeling incarnate. Shit. Where is that post I made.....?

http://personalitycafe.com/infj-forum-protectors/5866-falling-love-infj-way-5.html

Read that thread. Surprised no-one has commented since me... but I guess I summed it up very well.

I think the main problem is that INFJ's and ENFx's hang in different circles. Find other ENF's. They will remind you how wonderful and special you truly are. Chin up. We need all the love in the world we can sum up together.

Abrazos.
Haha! Course I'm crazy, talking to you aren't I ;) Contrary to popular belief, love isn't for everyone. For some it's just a dream that you watch others experience. If everybody had it, it wouldn't be desirable eh? Good fun reading about though! Btw, kinda oscillating between INFP/J really confused about my identity. I know I'm special and I know others don't see that in me cos of their reactions; I'm an intuitive introvert, I read people well. In fact, it's the extroverts who make me feel most ashamed because they don't try to hide their "odd" impressions of me, unlike the introverts! (Don't get me wrong, I really admire extroverts, but in my experience they have caused a lot of pain)


Besos x
 

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Update 2:

OK. Soooo I still have time to plan that perfect kiss.... because it didn't happen last night. Dying over here.

This is not to say I didn't have an awesome night though. We didn't do anything particularly amazing or anything. Went to a quaint, romantic, small, intimate restaurant. Shared some great food, conversation, and wine.

I know she is in to me now. No doubts. However, I feel like I am still being.... measured. Is this common with you (INFJ's)? Does it take you a while to let someone in? To let someone close enough to truly move you...physically? How interestingly paradoxical. You have so much love for people, go out of your way to be the good-for-all-occasion-nurse, and yet... it takes a while for the outsider to penetrate that inner circle of yours. I also understand that physical intimacy for the INFJ is a kin to euphoria...which would explain why you are very selective with whom you share it with.

Thoughts?
I think INFXs just want things to be special and meaningful, like they're kissing the person inside. And if that sort of thing is rushed, it is less special. We are so, so appreciative of guys who have depth and sensitivity, who can show that they are genuinely interested in us and not just for what we can do for you. An extrovert to boot? Perfect for drawing us out of our little shells... eventually.
 
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