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Alright, how would go about getting a INTP to look at their future and take action? I have friend who is, if he continues, going to end being the 30yr still living at home with his parents playing video games. Is there anything I can do to kind of push to avoid this? I'm not trying do whole lot, I just don't want to stay dependent on his parents. I'm not trying to turn him from being an introvert or being an INTP, just give him spark to be more independent and more in tuned to the way his life is going. His GF that called me and asked I help if I could. I'm just looking for things that could help. He's 20, no drivers license, no job, just sitting at home, and having his dad drive him to college. I don't want this to be a well he's introvert it's fine, it is. If you were ever in that place, what made you take initiative to do something with your life or at least start preparing too?
 

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For me, there has to be consequences tied to the ability to eat and sleep safely in order to change something that I am otherwise okay with. That's how it has always been for me. Sink or swim.

Speaking for myself, I enjoy being able to do things independently. Self-reliance is something that is intrinsically rewarding to me. I would HATE to have people drive me around, buy me food, or anything like that. However, your friend might not have that - hence, he might need to be in a "sink or swim" situation in order to change.

I automatically reject persuasion that focuses on social approval or lack thereof, I don't treat reasons of social approval/disapproval as being ends in and of themselves or having enough substance on their own. There is no amount of "that's really uncool/lazy/unattractive" mode of reasoning that would persuade me to change anything that I do if it's not connected to my ability to eat and sleep with a roof over my head.

I want to add a perspective: Even though I have things that I'm doing with my life, I don't associate with people who require me to "be doing something" with my life in order to be liked or loved. Even if I were doing many things that were measured as "successful" by outside social standards, I have an inherent clash of values and ethics with people whose gauge of social "worthiness" depends on them having "goals" with their life. That clash of values would be present regardless of where I am at with my life.

Since it sounds like he has a girlfriend, and that his girlfriend is troubled by his lifestyle, it would be worth finding out whether your friends thinks it's okay to be 30-year old live-with-mom video game hermit. If it turns out that he sees nothing objectively wrong with it, that might spell trouble for his relationship, because it heavily implies an inherent difference in values as I explained above.
 

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I really don't know what you can do, as I'm personally suffering as he is, myself.
I'm 23 and I've never had a job. I'm currently in college and have others drive me places, because I don't like driving.
However, I've managed to acquire a driver's license.
But yeah, I mostly just sit around playing video games and thinking, as well.

My personal plan is to get a part-time job soon, anywhere. Not really sure where I'll look first, but I think eventually I'll find something if I actually go out and look. I've been very anxious in the past, and I still fear the idea of having to go out and actually extravert myself. I may also have social anxiety (a condition which prevents many people from finding jobs, among other basic social functions), on top of suffering from procrastination. Perhaps your INTP friend also has these problems, in which case it might help him to actually look into it, as they can be very debilitating.

At any rate, I plan on getting a part-time job, working a few month or so, then taking a break. And doing this on and off until I have some kind of degree under my belt, which would probably be in psychology.
1. I don't want to be 30 and never have had a job. So I will force myself soon to find something.
2. I don't want to spend most of my day working, especially when I'm already financially stable (don't ask).
3. I would like to have 'something' on my resume when I achieve some degree in the future.

So yeah, that's my plan. Just work on and off part-time. It will give me a little sense of structure and I won't feel so bad about not contributing, and I'd feel less like a weight tied to society's leg.

Anyway, perhaps you guys can first get him to understand whether or not he might have some kind of condition. Or, get him to see a psychologist. I plan on seeing one soon, given my many psychological dispositions. From there, perhaps you can persuade him how it'd be in his interest to get a part-time job somewhere where he can feel a little comfortable. Perhaps at a library or something.

Anyway, I know what he's going through, and it's not easy. So first and foremost, have patience with him.
It's not easy at all being an INTP suffering from social anxiety and procrastination, on top of being addicted to technology, and from what you say of him, he probably also dislikes work and menial tasks, like myself. So, just try to work with him and be very understanding. It really discourages people like us when we're blamed for our flaws and expected to simply 'try.' We need encouragement and support.

Hopefully this helps.
 

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You have to get him passionate about something...convince him he has the potential to accomplish something great if he cuts loose from his parents and live whatever life he wants to live. Dreams and visions always get me engaging the world.
 

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Doubt his independence or ability (even though you may not). I got a 4.0 in upper level courses one semester just because one of my roommates said he didn't think I could. My GPA throughout college was never very good because I just never correlated college with success, I always correlated it with advanced serfdom.
 

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As a INTP on his way to 30, living at his parents' (actually just came back home for a while, I lived on my own since I was 20 but I'm trying to make this sound more dramatic) and proud of having only worked 30 hours in my whole life (I lived mostly on pocket money I've been saving since I was a kid), with no driving license, and sometimes playing videogames, here are a few things :


Two things that can initiate a brief spark of motivation towards the act of "working" :


-Not being a burden for people I love and who hate work nearly as much as I do.

-Living on my own allows me to spend weeks without seeing anyone.



Things that do not work so well :


"[...] do something with your life [...]".
This is something I have heard more than once.
But doing nothing with your life seems quite impossible to me; it would require such effort that it would really be something.

Actually, reading your post, I can't figure out one important thing : Does he have a problem, and if yes what is it?

The most prominent problem I personally have is other people having a problem with me not having a problem with how I live.

They come and say things like :

"Hi human; the little rock we live on has turned around the mighty Sun twenty-eight times since you left the womb; and it is written in the very holy book of "The rules about the things you must do depending on how many rotations our planet has done around the sun since you started to exist and if you don't we'll piss you off to no end because we have no intention to take any distance with the cavemen we are"., that you should by now :

- Have you own hut/cavern. Whether you are actually independant emotionally or have adult relationships with your parents is irrelevant.

- Earn some money so that you can hoard appliances and fast moving consumer goods in your hut.
Whether the activity used to gain money has a positive or negative impact on society is irrelevant.

- You must desire the same thing as everyone.
The fact that no one can agree on what this thing is is irrelevant."



Most people seem to not understand how I can be happy with my life; but the fact is, I feel better everyday.
And they complain how their life feels meaningless, they don't have time to enjoy it, they feel trapped, they feel they are contributing to a system they hate, that they're "lost".
But they have to do it.


Of course I approve of your worrying/trying to help you friend, and maybe it is really needed.
I just want to point out the possibility of trying to solve a problem that doesn't exist or is unknown, which is a source of problems and an insult to laziness.

Caution : this post may contain traces of relevant on-topic elements.
 

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Alright, how would go about getting a INTP to look at their future and take action? I have friend who is, if he continues, going to end being the 30yr still living at home with his parents playing video games. Is there anything I can do to kind of push to avoid this? I'm not trying do whole lot, I just don't want to stay dependent on his parents. I'm not trying to turn him from being an introvert or being an INTP, just give him spark to be more independent and more in tuned to the way his life is going. His GF that called me and asked I help if I could. I'm just looking for things that could help. He's 20, no drivers license, no job, just sitting at home, and having his dad drive him to college. I don't want this to be a well he's introvert it's fine, it is. If you were ever in that place, what made you take initiative to do something with your life or at least start preparing too?
Unfortunately living with your parents even at 30 is something I see becoming more and more of a norm, not just due to lack of ambition, but because of the economy, and because of people continuing to work later and later into life. I think 30 is becoming the new 18.

Being ambitious helps, getting out every day and turning in a few resumes helps, networking (something that doesn't come at all naturally to me, and I think this is true for most introverts) helps. Finding something you (or your friend or whoever) is really interested in, and a way to make money off it helps.

Getting more training (college, apprenticeships, and such) helps.

If even then you or he can't get a job (which is quite possible, even with a college education, and ambition, being jobless is not uncommon these days) make your own, start a business, so at least you can have something to show on your resume, and potentially some good work experience even if your business never really takes off.

The only day jobs I've found so far, and I do consider myself to be quite ambitious, are only part time, and I that have a physical disability doesn't help, it has made finding work even more difficult ( but that's another topic).

A part time job isn't enough to really flourish, I've started a side- business in part for that reason, and in part because it fits my physical and psychological needs well. I do really recommend giving it a shot, you have to find something you enjoy. Again, good on a resume, good experience, even if you don't end up making much money off of it, plus you can learn your trade as you go, no need to worry about lack of experience when you are hiring yourself.
 

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Arusnem: I get what you're saying, but it really is a problem to sit around doing nothing but video games.
I know some people will say, "It's his right as a human being to live how we wants to."
But we all have social responsibilities that we can't just ignore. And so, there is a problem there.

It's not a matter of "lifestyle." He's not just getting treated differently for liking Lord of the Rings or something.
He's getting treated differently for not contributing socially. There's no escaping that responsibility, if you actually benefit from the social collective.
Everyone has to chip in at some point, in some way.
 

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It's hard to just get up and change. The easiest time to change yourself is when an outside change hits. For instance, I had basically no life skills until I moved out of home, which only happened because I needed to go to university in another city. I was messy and lazy until I moved into my current apartment, when I suddenly became a neat freak. I didn't learn to cook until there was nobody else there to do it. INTPs are very capable people when they have their shit together, but if other people are providing then it's hard to even begin. What's he going to do when he's finished university? I wouldn't be surprised if he's putting off change until then.
 

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Arusnem: I get what you're saying, but it really is a problem to sit around doing nothing but video games.
I know some people will say, "It's his right as a human being to live how we wants to."
But we all have social responsibilities that we can't just ignore. And so, there is a problem there.

It's not a matter of "lifestyle." He's not just getting treated differently for liking Lord of the Rings or something.
He's getting treated differently for not contributing socially. There's no escaping that responsibility, if you actually benefit from the social collective.
Everyone has to chip in at some point, in some way.

I still can't comprehensively grasp the economic system perfectly, but considering what I know :

I can't really see these "social responsibilities" that everyone has; except "not breaking the law too much" maybe.
I agree that benefiting from the collective implies that you have to either contribute if you can or accept to be a stowaway, though my feeling of "not belonging" makes me biased negatively towards this.

Concerning social contribution, I would disagree quite strongly though.
Several jobs, some very well paid, have a global negative impact on society, yet grant you social approval due to the monetary compensation they offer.
As there are many positive contributions to society that grant no money at all.

So to me earning money and contributing to society are only very slightly related and often antinomic.

It might also very possibly due to a lack of intelligence or maturity (as in : relying on Ti too much) that makes me unable to understand the way one's contribution to society can be anticipated.
Even considering extensively studied dead people having had a huge impact on their environnement, historians often struggle and disagree on such things.
So even if I personnaly want to participate, I feel like playing the lotery and following my emotions when I do, and absolutely not "contributing to have a balanced and fair social system".

So far my contribution is nearly limited to not engage in moral but illegal activity, or far worse, legal and immoral.
The former being really hard to resist to, fear only preventing it.


Reading again your first post I think the ideas you offer can be really good depending on the situation of Quin Sabe's friend.
If there are psychological "problems" to "solve" or any kind of limitations he needs to overcome, that probably should be done so that a real decision can be made.
(When I couldn't get involved because of anxiety, I felt quite bad; then when I learned to control it and choosed not to get involved, I started to feel rather happy.)
 

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It's hard to just get up and change. The easiest time to change yourself is when an outside change hits. For instance, I had basically no life skills until I moved out of home, which only happened because I needed to go to university in another city. I was messy and lazy until I moved into my current apartment, when I suddenly became a neat freak. I didn't learn to cook until there was nobody else there to do it. INTPs are very capable people when they have their shit together, but if other people are providing then it's hard to even begin. What's he going to do when he's finished university? I wouldn't be surprised if he's putting off change until then.
This is true. I have the same "I'll change when I'm done with school and manage to get a job" attitude. I just don't see the point in changing right now when I don't need to. I see it as right now I'm just going through motions to get to the start of my "real life". Once I get there, I know I won't have any problem managing things on my own, but right now I'm contented to sit back, relax, and do the bare minimum.
 

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I can't really see these "social responsibilities" that everyone has; except "not breaking the law too much" maybe.
Perhaps if we didn't have basic physical needs, our only responsibility would be to not break the law.
But unfortunately, we have many needs that are met through social interconnection in society.
Therefore, logically, it means everyone -- if things are truly fair -- must chip in, so that everyone's needs are met, and no one is doing more than another to meet each other's needs.

The opposite is akin to someone slacking off while his/her team mates pick up the slack and then benefiting from work to which he/she did not entirely contribute. Obviously, this is not fair behavior and shouldn't be ignored, but prevented through social aid if need be.

I usually recommend a life outside of society for people who do not understand these responsibilities.
It utterly violates the entire point of social interconnection to have a few members who do not participate, but only take. These types are usually referred to as freeriders. It all boils down to an understanding of politics and economics.
 

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if things are truly fair
And this is where your comments regarding the supposed social responsibility towards others falls down. This world is not fair but any stretch of the imagination. At all. I'm not sure where you got that idea because I'm afraid someone has misled you.

If it was TRULY fair, then someone wanting to be left entirely alone to do what they wanted (even if it's nothing) would seem as perfectly acceptable as the go-getter who is trying to ruin an entire country's financial system all in the name of making a buck (Goldman-Sachs, I'm looking at you).

Besides, in his current state he is still akin to a dependent, not a free-rider. While this person is 20, still living at his parents home, being given money by them and fed by them, he's not the responsibility of the social collective but his parents.

If this person were to theoretically start living on the dole and then do nothing while playing video games, then I would agree they're taking advantage of the situation and I'd have a problem in that I don't think people should do that because *I* don't want to pay for them to play video games but that's based on the premise that *I* want to sit around and play video games on someone else dime .. I'm just not that much of an asshole.

If this person were to be otherwise employed, even in a minor job, then they have as much right to sit and play video games all day as someone else does to read books to the blind.



I think there's a certain level of enabling going on from his parents, however. If I've wanted spending money I've had to have a job since I was about 14. There'd also have to be a blizzard before I'd get a ride from my parents -- that's what the bus is for after all.
 

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I think this person just needs to explore what he wants to do more. INTP's can become complacent easily as we exist largely within our minds. I would warn him about this INTP trap. I would tell him that he is addicted to the video games (happens to me on and off) and taking a 30 day break would change his life. It would. Maybe a video game intervention:p Tell him he is a junkie and bet him $100 that he cannot go 30 days without it. He may not be able to do it.

I do not see anything wrong with being 20 and in college without a job. I myself like working, but I will only do a job that I feel is fair. I would have no problem working part-time at McD's or WalMart if they did not treat their employees worse than I treat my dogs. I worked seven days a week for three years and would do it again if I could find a part-time job I enjoyed.

As for the needing of a job, in America that completely depends on your situation. Donald Trump never had a real job, he went to private schools and worked for his father then took over the business. George Bush never had a real job, same thing basically. To me they are slight in their 'success' but to most they are not. I know two people that live in 300k+ houses, are in their 50's and have never been employed. They live off their parents/grandparents money. This is not as uncommon as you would think. They get a 100k+ a year 'allowance' and are content with it. I am still trying to figure out what Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian do exactly and why people care.
 

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Perhaps if we didn't have basic physical needs, our only responsibility would be to not break the law.
But unfortunately, we have many needs that are met through social interconnection in society.
Therefore, logically, it means everyone -- if things are truly fair -- must chip in, so that everyone's needs are met, and no one is doing more than another to meet each other's needs.

The opposite is akin to someone slacking off while his/her team mates pick up the slack and then benefiting from work to which he/she did not entirely contribute. Obviously, this is not fair behavior and shouldn't be ignored, but prevented through social aid if need be.

I usually recommend a life outside of society for people who do not understand these responsibilities.
It utterly violates the entire point of social interconnection to have a few members who do not participate, but only take. These types are usually referred to as freeriders. It all boils down to an understanding of politics and economics.
Hogwash. Not everyone has these "social needs". It is possible for one to live a lifestyle not contributing to the collective whole of society. Simply due to the fact that one neither needs or asks for assistance from said society. I can be a hermit if I damn well please. If you choose to "assist" someone like this then thats your choice.

One shouldn't just assume that they are going to pay you back for your charity. That is like giving a kid an iced cream cone then saying (after they have eaten it) that they have to help you do such and such because they ate your iced cream. Had the child know there was an obligation for such an action they probably wouldn't have accepted the frozen treat.

In a "fair world" one would be made aware of all possible obligations he or she may have after receiving aforementioned aid, and not just assume he/she already knows that he/she is now bound by some unspoken pact.

(this is not ment to offend you, just my views.)


On to the topic of discussion that is the whole point of this thread. Being an INTP myself (and still liveing with my parents playing videogames and stuff all day) I have to say that telling him its "wrong" is not the answer. Why is it wrong? simply because it may be unattractive does not make it wrong. I find most religion unattractive but i don't find it wrong unless they're like, sacrificing people to the fire gods. He probably feels like nothing is immediately unacceptable with the way he is and feels no need to actively change it.

Now, if he where given a deadline where his parents where to slowly reduce and eventually cut off their support, he would in essence now have a legitimate reason to fend for himself, as his current means of living would no longer be enough to keep himself alive. Its like weaning a baby, slowly start cutting off the milk and introduce him to baby food, then into normal food. (the baby food being him having to get a job to pay for his own food, the normal food being him moving out and living on his own.)


**disclaimer: I do not take any responsibility for any harmfully repercussions associated with the advice given above, its simply what would probably work on myself to get my arse motivated into doing productive stuff.**
 
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And this is where your comments regarding the supposed social responsibility towards others falls down. This world is not fair but any stretch of the imagination. At all. I'm not sure where you got that idea because I'm afraid someone has misled you.
It's called a principle, upon which human affairs should ideally be based. Therefore, in principle, people have social responsibilities, as where others work to their benefit, they should work to the benefit of others. You seem to have mistakenly presumed that I meant fair in the sense that the world is fair, which is of course not what I meant.

If it was TRULY fair, then someone wanting to be left entirely alone to do what they wanted (even if it's nothing) would seem as perfectly acceptable as the go-getter who is trying to ruin an entire country's financial system all in the name of making a buck (Goldman-Sachs, I'm looking at you).
No one said the world is fair. Besides, to live in a society is to accept the notion that you will benefit from the social collective while contributing to it. It doesn't mean that the assertive guy who manipulates the system is somehow to be glorified -- they are villains. There is no "assertive guy = good, unassertive guy = bad" aspect of this, as you would have it seem. It's merely a matter of paying your dues where they are warranted; it doesn't mean that a person is wrong for not conquering the world and placing everyone under their boot.

To think you can sit around, without contributing, and still looked upon as a decent civilian is simply idealistic, unrealistic, and naive. It fails entirely to understand the manner by which humans currently live, the condition of our current state of affairs. In the modern world, you are bound to live with others, for the most part. You are to be among a community, unless you can survive alone. And to have a society which allows some to work and others not, while all eat is conceptually incoherent and flawed. Simple as that.

Besides, in his current state he is still akin to a dependent, not a free-rider. While this person is 20, still living at his parents home, being given money by them and fed by them, he's not the responsibility of the social collective but his parents.
Indeed. However, if a person is living off their parents' work at an age where they can essentially go out and contribute (ignoring people with social problems), it still looks bad socially, because they are then no longer truly dependent upon their parents, but capable and grown adults, and thus freeriders (if even in the limited sense that they are taking advantage of someone they don't necessarily have to rely upon). Again, this is entirely understandable in special cases, where a person is truly socially limited and hindered by some form of condition (perhaps relating to their extreme introversion).

In the end, it's truly up to the parents. If they don't care, then there's no problem. However, I wouldn't say that others outside the family (or even non-parental relatives) would be unreasonable to see a problem with this behavior, because it may become a larger problem eventually if left alone. So I can understand why someone's relatives might think they might have a problem for relying on parents at 20, without a pretense of one day looking for a job.

If this person were to theoretically start living on the dole and then do nothing while playing video games, then I would agree they're taking advantage of the situation and I'd have a problem in that I don't think people should do that because *I* don't want to pay for them to play video games but that's based on the premise that *I* want to sit around and play video games on someone else dime .. I'm just not that much of an asshole.
Entirely agreed. Perhaps you should've taken some time to actually understand what I was saying. Had you done so, you would have realized I was basically saying the same thing.

If this person were to be otherwise employed, even in a minor job, then they have as much right to sit and play video games all day as someone else does to read books to the blind.
Again, agreed. Even a minor job (part-time), a few hours a week, something, some modicum of contribution is better than no contribution at all, and were someone to spend most of their time playing video games, and a little time contributing, then I would say that they aren't doing so bad. I just think the rest of society does have a right to frown upon someone who decides to entirely avoid contribution while playing video games all day, because it should be socially unaccepted, according to the principles of human interaction in a social setting, which basically means that in order to receive, you should also give. Hence, fairness.

Although, it gets tricky, because introverts may have a harder time actually finding a job suitable to their preferences and overall nature, on top of the fact that they may have a difficult time even going out of their homes. Thus, society seems inherently favoring of extraverts and not so favoring of introverts, as human interaction is involved in a large majority of occupations and jobs -- something some people fine natural and which others do not.

So, one could also theoretically reason that society is inherently biased against introverts at the moment, and that they shouldn't feel so bad if they are left out and uncomfortable with contributing to a social system which doesn't have special places for people like themselves who do not enjoy human interaction as much, or simply don't prefer it, or find it less in their nature.

But, overall, that's why I'd agree with you that a minor job would be enough for an introvert. We don't much like going outside, so society should give us a damn break, for the most part.
 

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I think this person just needs to explore what he wants to do more. INTP's can become complacent easily as we exist largely within our minds. I would warn him about this INTP trap. I would tell him that he is addicted to the video games (happens to me on and off) and taking a 30 day break would change his life. It would. Maybe a video game intervention:p Tell him he is a junkie and bet him $100 that he cannot go 30 days without it. He may not be able to do it.
True. But this depends upon whether or not he's already found what he wants to do with his life. Some people take years to truly figure this out. I'm currently debating the matter, myself. And INTP's definitely have this tendency to become to complacent and idle, and taking small steps to avoid this by playing less video games and technology in general can help us tremendously. I am personally going through this atm. I used to play video games all day for the past three years. I'm now working on taking breaks here and there to actually do something productive. It seems to be slowly improving.

I do not see anything wrong with being 20 and in college without a job. I myself like working, but I will only do a job that I feel is fair. I would have no problem working part-time at McD's or WalMart if they did not treat their employees worse than I treat my dogs. I worked seven days a week for three years and would do it again if I could find a part-time job I enjoyed.
Ah, I overlooked this before. Although, I'm split. Part of my understands that going to school is doing something. However, some people who truly have addictions may just go to college to appease their parents with no real intention of doing anything with their lives and may never leave home. This horrible prospect makes it more difficult for me to agree completely. If someone literally is trying to do something with their life, I don't think they necessarily need a job, if their parents don't mind. But they shouldn't just ignore society and become too complacent. In fact, I'm currently trying to come out of my INTP bubble.

Additionally, as I said to someone else, even if this guy is 20, he will eventually need to move out of the house and provide for himself. If he has problems being too complacent at age 20, it may indicate prolonged problems, and then his future can be in jeopardy. For this reason, it may not be entirely "okay" to be 20 and just not work. But again, this only pertains to this particular situation. He may know he will have to work soon. He may not care. Which of these is true will determine whether or not it's truly reasonable for people to look down upon him. And perhaps the OP has reason for this.

As for the needing of a job, in America that completely depends on your situation. Donald Trump never had a real job, he went to private schools and worked for his father then took over the business. George Bush never had a real job, same thing basically. To me they are slight in their 'success' but to most they are not. I know two people that live in 300k+ houses, are in their 50's and have never been employed. They live off their parents/grandparents money. This is not as uncommon as you would think. They get a 100k+ a year 'allowance' and are content with it. I am still trying to figure out what Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian do exactly and why people care.
Valid points.
 

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Hogwash. Not everyone has these "social needs". It is possible for one to live a lifestyle not contributing to the collective whole of society. Simply due to the fact that one neither needs or asks for assistance from said society. I can be a hermit if I damn well please. If you choose to "assist" someone like this then thats your choice.
True, not everyone has social needs, but everyone has physical needs. This means they will rely upon society for their food and shelter, water, gas, light ect. Even in this sense, you will eventually have responsibilities for these social conveniences.

And you clearly did not understand what I mean. I wasn't saying that people need or ask things of society; if you go to a grocery store and take food, if you have some form of shelter, if you are protected by local police men, if you enjoy going to a public park, if you enjoy fresh water whenever you please, as long as you can find a fountain, then you really are benefiting from society and -- in principle -- should contribute as you take.

It takes many man-hours to keep these public goods available, in the condition they exist in, so that the community can benefit. If someone feels entirely isolated from society, then that's their choice. But if you feel as though you are one with the community and want to share in it, then it would logically make sense that you would have to contribute.

If someone's contributions to society allow you the leisure to live as hermit, then that is perfectly fine. For example, if you live off your parents or siblings. However, I'm speaking of universal principles, and not about particular situations. Surely, people don't have to contribute if they don't want to; but if they do want to partake in social goods, and have no one they can depend on, then they are forced to contribute or find other means of protection and ways to meet their physical needs.

One shouldn't just assume that they are going to pay you back for your charity. That is like giving a kid an iced cream cone then saying (after they have eaten it) that they have to help you do such and such because they ate your iced cream. Had the child know there was an obligation for such an action they probably wouldn't have accepted the frozen treat.
Again, if someone you know allows you to live off their own labor, then it's fine. It's a form of social charity. People have the right to choose how they spend their money, if they want to help a friend or family members, or stranger. Yet, I am not speaking about matters of charity, per se. Again, I'm more focused with universal principle, which includes anyone not benefiting from charity. The person who must make a living on their own two feet must contribute as they take, if they have no one to to rely upon. To say that independent people should be able to take without contributing is ridiculous. It amounts to piracy.

In a "fair world" one would be made aware of all possible obligations he or she may have after receiving aforementioned aid, and not just assume he/she already knows that he/she is now bound by some unspoken pact.
Again, I never said the world is fair. I was merely speaking of fairness in principle.

On to the topic of discussion that is the whole point of this thread. Being an INTP myself (and still liveing with my parents playing videogames and stuff all day) I have to say that telling him its "wrong" is not the answer. Why is it wrong? simply because it may be unattractive does not make it wrong. I find most religion unattractive but i don't find it wrong unless they're like, sacrificing people to the fire gods. He probably feels like nothing is immediately unacceptable with the way he is and feels no need to actively change it.
It would be wrong to persecute him, so to speak, and tell him what he is doing is "wrong." However, it is not unreasonable that his loved ones should be worried about his future, if he seems to not care. According to the reality of social interaction, they know that he will eventually need to provide for himself, and it's that future-looking perspective which truly gives them reason to want to help him alter his behavior.

Now, if he where given a deadline where his parents where to slowly reduce and eventually cut off their support, he would in essence now have a legitimate reason to fend for himself, as his current means of living would no longer be enough to keep himself alive. Its like weaning a baby, slowly start cutting off the milk and introduce him to baby food, then into normal food. (the baby food being him having to get a job to pay for his own food, the normal food being him moving out and living on his own.)
Again, if some parents wish to allow their children to do this, then it's fine. But other people do have justified reason to feel concerned that their leniency with his behavior may be a bit too extreme and permissive, to the point where he may be harmed in the future by becoming too dependent. But again, it depends upon his nature and the situation.
 

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True, not everyone has social needs, but everyone has physical needs. This means they will rely upon society for their food and shelter, water, gas, light ect. Even in this sense, you will eventually have responsibilities for these social conveniences.
Not necessarily. Perhaps for most people, they would rely on these things being provided for them. for others however, self sufficiency isn't out of the question. one can hunt and grow their own food and the like.

I understand now that you speak for the average person, but the way you word it
makes it seem like you believe that from birth every human is obligated to contribute to society regardless of your lifestyle, and thats what kind of set me off. I'm not fond of the idea that I am bound by some higher law.

And yeah, living off welfare or something without at least attempting to find a job so you can eventually pay your own way IS wrong, taking from people who may not really be happy to support you for nothing in return is parasitic. If one is to live for free it should either be through someone who willingly and happily supports you, or via fending for yourself without taking from people.

If you have something to say in response to this i advise we take it elsewhere as this thread is not the place for it. perhaps in private messages.
 
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