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I love my ISFJ friend, even though I don't always completely understand her.

What I'm interested in knowing is how an ISFJ truly reacts when given praise. For some reason my friend brings this out in me. I always want to build her up and say uplifting things to her, and tell her how wonderful she is.

How do you honestly react to this? Is it embarrassing, or do you like it?
 

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I love my ISFJ friend, even though I don't always completely understand her.

What I'm interested in knowing is how an ISFJ truly reacts when given praise. For some reason my friend brings this out in me. I always want to build her up and say uplifting things to her, and tell her how wonderful she is.

How do you honestly react to this? Is it embarrassing, or do you like it?
It's embarrassing. I don't get used to hearing this. I get goosebumps. lol
But I'm not saying we don't like hearing this. It's ....we like hearing this but we don't at the same time coz it's embarrassing. I just don't know how to respond if you praise me especially in front of a group of people. I always tend to think "I'm not that good." But I'd be happy if you let me know how much you treasure me as your best friend.
 

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I'm the same as @hello317. I do like to get praise, or to be more specific I like to know someone values what I have done or who I am. But, and it's a big one, I don't like to be praised to my face and especially in front of other people. It's too embarrassing and I never know how to react. The best praise/appreciation I've got has been in written form. I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but it allows me to appreciate what the person thinks without having to react in the moment.
 

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More or less I have the same feeling as the posters above. I like praise because it's a positive feedback from those I help; it tells me that they notice, they are thankful, and I'm performing the correct action that benefits them. I'm totally content when I'm not praised--I'm sure they're still thankful, and it's always good to be others-centered. But praise gives that extra happiness boost, ya know? ;)

If it's in a group setting, I get embarrassed because I'm under the spotlight, and I tend to move the spotlight toward someone else who I know helped in whatever effort that was done (ie: moving, setting up party, etc.) and who really deserve praise as well.
 

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Basically what's been said. It varies in different scenarios.

If it's a close friend of mine, and they say something like 'You're really awesome!' I'll probably say something silly like, 'I know, I am aren't I?' because my friends and I have a weird sense of humour like that. But I will accept it even if I don't act all mushy, since it's quite awkward and I don't really know what else to do.

If it's someone praising me in front of a whole bunch of people, I dunno, I probably just smile and shrug sheepishly, and avoid eye contact until the subject changes. It's just a natural defence mechanism I suppose, though I don't really know why I'd need it :laughing:.

Specific praise is better than general praise. 'You're always so helpful,' is better than 'You're really nice,' (bad example though since both would be pretty good :wink:) Basically, something I can see in myself.

It's been discussed here http://personalitycafe.com/isfj-forum-nurturers/42908-isfjs-compliments.html
Also here http://personalitycafe.com/isfj-forum-nurturers/36558-what-would-you-love-someone-say-you.html
 

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Yeah, I'm glad AquaColum found those threads, because now I don't have to dig it up. :tongue: My thoughts on the matter are in that thread.

teddy564339 said:
I love any kind of genuine, accurate flattery. Also, it really depends on who it is that's complimenting me. If it's someone I'm not close to, I'll like it but it won't really last. But, if it's someone that I admire or look up to, I can be walking on air for days and never forget the compliment.

But I think the best things are when someone tells me that I'm a really nice or kind person, or that I put other people before myself, and that they really value and appreciate that. It makes me feel good because that's something I know that I can always do, it's something I'm good at, and it's something that I feel like I'll never lose. So it always makes me feel really good when people recognize that, especially if it's someone that I myself really appreciate.
 
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Discussion Starter #8
Basically what's been said. It varies in different scenarios.

If it's a close friend of mine, and they say something like 'You're really awesome!' I'll probably say something silly like, 'I know, I am aren't I?' because my friends and I have a weird sense of humour like that. But I will accept it even if I don't act all mushy, since it's quite awkward and I don't really know what else to do.

If it's someone praising me in front of a whole bunch of people, I dunno, I probably just smile and shrug sheepishly, and avoid eye contact until the subject changes. It's just a natural defence mechanism I suppose, though I don't really know why I'd need it :laughing:.

Specific praise is better than general praise. 'You're always so helpful,' is better than 'You're really nice,' (bad example though since both would be pretty good :wink:) Basically, something I can see in myself.

It's been discussed here http://personalitycafe.com/isfj-forum-nurturers/42908-isfjs-compliments.html
Also here http://personalitycafe.com/isfj-forum-nurturers/36558-what-would-you-love-someone-say-you.html
I've actually had an ISFJ react that way with me (with the exact same humor). I told her she was awesome, and she told me she knew. But I do get the feeling it embarrassed her overall.

Thanks for the insight and links. I'm sure it's been discussed many times, but I always like to hear new ways of approaching a subject.
 

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I've actually had an ISFJ react that way with me (with the exact same humor). I told her she was awesome, and she told me she knew. But I do get the feeling it embarrassed her overall.
Haha, that's awesome. Great types think alike?

But yeah, even if I do get embarrassed I'll still definitely appreciate it, I'll just have no idea how to show it.

Thanks for the insight and links. I'm sure it's been discussed many times, but I always like to hear new ways of approaching a subject.
HTH. I agree, there's always going to be different people providing different perspectives... well, it might get old after the 39th thread, but still.
 

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I can relate to all the previous posts :)

I'd really appreciate it if a friend complimented me, although I'd probably act somewhat nervous & try to play it off or pass the compliment onto others to get the attention off me. It's a mix of happiness and at the same time I may get embarrassed to accept the praise especially if I felt like I didn't deserve it. It's not always like that though.. if it was a close 1-1 setting & I felt comfortable enough, I'd gladly accept the compliment & thank the person. I may even start to give them my own thoughts in return. But overall, I'd keep the compliment in mind and appreciate what the friend said to me later on. They really can mean a lot to me, especially in times of low, I can remember what they said and it helps me feel better and not think so badly of myself.
 
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