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I very much think of myself as an INFP, but after lurking around in this forum, I feel like there are a few things I don't have in common with the rest of you. Mainly the way of dealing with emotions. There was one thread about how INFPs deal with sadness. I was surprised that almost everyone talked about needing to wallow in their sadness. Looking back on my life, I suppose there was a time when I felt like that, but sooner or later I realized it didn't have to be that way.

I'm sure we all know what our weaknesses are as INFPs, but does anyone else feel that it doesn't have to be that way? As an INFP, I may be clingy, anti-social, too self-absorbed, and maybe I don't normally handle criticism well, but I realize these things about myself, so I'm able to catch when they're happening and correct them. I might realize, "Uh oh. I'm starting to feel clingy towards this person." which allows me to give them a break. Or, "I'm starting to care too much about what I think." which gets me thinking about what others think.

I guess what I'm talking about is overcoming our weaknesses, which I know is something we all know we need to do. I'm just here to tell you that it's possible, and not to worry that you'll feel like you aren't being yourself when you're holding back how you naturally feel and think. I feel more at peace with myself now than ever, knowing that I'm overcoming my weaknesses as an INFP.


inb4 "you must not be an INFP then":tongue:
 

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I hear ya....

For me...I go through phases. I get so tired of being stuck in my head and sick of being myself. So I get on a 'self help' kick and read every kind of psychology thing I possibly can. Then try to change the things about myself that I don't like. I do ok for a while and feel generally happy. I even sometimes feel like I have *gasp* self control! Then something in life happens, blindsides me and I slip back into my old habits. Wallow in it for a while...then repeat the self help cycle. I'm constantly trying to better myself but it always seems like a constant work in progress.

All I really want is to be the best possible version of myself.
 

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Don't worry, I don't wallow in my sadness either.:wink: When I'm sad, my main goal is to get happy again.:tongue:
 

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yeah i totally agree with you. it seems like all the other infp's are always depressed and they treat being an infp like its mental illness or something. im an infp and i love and enjoy my life. i have problems too but i dont let them control my life, the other infps need to learn to stop crying and try to fix their problems. as a matter of fact, this site helped me to realize my problems, and i think im actually starting to learn how to come out of my shell and to socialize a bit more.:happy:
 

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As an INFP, I may be clingy, anti-social, too self-absorbed, and maybe I don't normally handle criticism well, but I realize these things about myself, so I'm able to catch when they're happening and correct them. I might realize, "Uh oh. I'm starting to feel clingy towards this person." which allows me to give them a break. Or, "I'm starting to care too much about what I think." which gets me thinking about what others think.
Sounds like you've become a more conscious human being overall. I too have gone down this path and i heard someone calling this concept your "Observing Ego", where you can stop yourself in ANY situation, seperate your conscious mind from your body, and look down to yourself from above and say somethin like "hey, you're being irrantional here, change the way you are behaving".

if that made any sense...
 

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I feel the same way. There are a lot of things in this forum that I completely relate with but others that don't fit me at all.

I'm sure we all know what our weaknesses are as INFPs, but does anyone else feel that it doesn't have to be that way? As an INFP, I may be clingy, anti-social, too self-absorbed, and maybe I don't normally handle criticism well, but I realize these things about myself, so I'm able to catch when they're happening and correct them.
I think it's important that people realize what their strengths and weaknesses are, and cultivate their strengths and face their weaknesses.

I like MBTI because it let's you know what your default type is, but it doesn't mean that there is necessarily a stereotype you have to be. It sometimes feels like your trying to be a different person than who you really are ("going against your instincts") when in reality, a healthy, balanced individual (potentially) won't have personality extremes, more just personality preferences.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Sounds like you've become a more conscious human being overall. I too have gone down this path and i heard someone calling this concept your "Observing Ego", where you can stop yourself in ANY situation, seperate your conscious mind from your body, and look down to yourself from above and say somethin like "hey, you're being irrantional here, change the way you are behaving".

if that made any sense...
Exactly! Makes perfect sense.
 

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The thing about the sadness? Yes! It's just like someone else said - when I'm sad, my main goal is to become happy again. I understand what people mean by saying "there is comfort in being sad," but personally I shudder. Perpetual hedonist here - I want to avoid pain, and sadness is pain.
 

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Oh yeah. I get overwhelmed by emotion and just sit there wringing my hands and acting like a big baby when the world goes to suck. But this is definitely not something I'm proud of! Wallowing does not help, distracting yourself from the pain by eating/drinking/websurfing does not help, the only thing that can help is finding a way to get a grip and DEALING with crap. I know this because I'm not doing it.

I really look up to other INFPs who have figured out a way to stop thrashing around in emo mode. Thanks for being a light at the end of the tunnel.
 

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Whatever mood I'm in, somehow I manage to stay in it longer than others I know. The intensity of it grows over time, too. But when I'm sad, sometimes I can get myself out of it, but sometimes I feel there's no hope of getting out of it.
 

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I think INFPs get stuck in their sadness because we are attracted to the highs and lows of emotion. It's at the peaks and valleys where we feel the most alive. It's when feel happy for accomplishing something great or when we feel devastated after something terrible happens where we feel like we're really living.

Here's the problem. Day-to-day life is boring. You wake up, eat breakfast, go to work or school, hang out with friends or family, go to bed and then wake up again. Day-to-day life is mostly the in-between and many people not just INFPs can't deal with it.

So they create the highs and lows artificially. They involve themselves in other people's drama. This drama can be can be people they know in real life. It can be movies or television. We want the constant highs and lows that we don't get from doing laundry or any of the other things that fill up the majority of our life.
 

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I think INFPs get stuck in their sadness because we are attracted to the highs and lows of emotion. It's at the peaks and valleys where we feel the most alive. It's when feel happy for accomplishing something great or when we feel devastated after something terrible happens where we feel like we're really living.

Here's the problem. Day-to-day life is boring. You wake up, eat breakfast, go to work or school, hang out with friends or family, go to bed and then wake up again. Day-to-day life is mostly the in-between and many people not just INFPs can't deal with it.

So they create the highs and lows artificially. They involve themselves in other people's drama. This drama can be can be people they know in real life. It can be movies or television. We want the constant highs and lows that we don't get from doing laundry or any of the other things that fill up the majority of our life.
Extremely true. In my case it goes along with an addictive personality. If I do a fun thing, I want to do it over and over again in an attempt to recreate that first fantastic feeling. Of course, having already done it, it probably will not be as fun as it was the first time.

At work I strive for highs all the time. Creating something that is of great value to a customer or coworker and get recognized for it. Problem is maybe only 1% of my work time consists of that feeling, the rest is boring.

So what is one to do? I can understand people doing extreme sports to get those highs. It doesn't really feel like "me" though.
 

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Extremely true. In my case it goes along with an addictive personality. If I do a fun thing, I want to do it over and over again in an attempt to recreate that first fantastic feeling. Of course, having already done it, it probably will not be as fun as it was the first time.

At work I strive for highs all the time. Creating something that is of great value to a customer or coworker and get recognized for it. Problem is maybe only 1% of my work time consists of that feeling, the rest is boring.

So what is one to do? I can understand people doing extreme sports to get those highs. It doesn't really feel like "me" though.
Have you looked into careers that are recommended for the INFP? One of those jobs where you can feel good about yourself doing everyday?
 
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