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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Have you ever experienced or known someone who made you experience this kind of 'brainwashing'; very subtle but creates devastating effects on you emotionally, makes you question yourself for a long time (possibly more than a year), makes you over question plus over analyzed things that happened, makes you feel helpless with the growing effects and at first a part of you feels as though it is all your fault although another part of you feels really angry without you being able to fully express why. Have you ever gone through that? The kind of brainwashing that is too subtle but effective?

I have gone through that in a few past friendships and in a past relationship. At first I thought I was crazy, irrational, delusional and that was hell. It took me a long time to realize how much I had been manipulated.

I just want to know if others have ever gone through the same thing. Sometimes, the most subtle can be the most dangerous, but we NF's can usually detect emotional abuse very quickly.
 

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I have never experience this in any serious way. But when I was in high school, around the 4th grade and aged about 15 I had a friend who was a witness of Jehovah. For a short while I leaned towards his beliefs a little, but something inside me always kept resisting and nothing ever came of it.
There is simply no way I can except any authority's views without doing my own questioning and thinking and I guess I had that same intellectual stubbornness back then.
 

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I'm not an INFP but I really relate to what I think you're saying. In my case it started off very positively - the other person shattered my very dark worldview, but the result is that I now doubt everything and in some ways I'd like her (or anyone else) to confirm I'm now "on track". This is probably because instead of suggesting new beliefs that I could accept or reject all she did was invalidate mine and replace them with questions, and I do see the positive side. I really hate trusting an outside authority but because I did such a terrible job thinking for myself the first time I now feel like I will just fail again.

This has caused me anger, self doubt and resentment towards someone who probably saved my life, and I also feel really guilty that at the end of the day what I feel towards her is jealousy. All round it's not nice...

Actually my experience wasn't subtle at all, but it's written now so I'd may as well post it :mellow:
 

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Have you ever experienced or known someone who made you experience this kind of 'brainwashing'; very subtle but creates devastating effects on you emotionally, makes you question yourself for a long time (possibly more than a year), makes you over question plus over analyzed things that happened, makes you feel helpless with the growing effects and at first a part of you feels as though it is all your fault although another part of you feels really angry without you being able to fully express why. Have you ever gone through that? The kind of brainwashing that is too subtle but effective?

I have gone through that in a few past friendships and in a past relationship. At first I thought I was crazy, irrational, delusional and that was hell. It took me a long time to realize how much I had been manipulated.

I just want to know if others have ever gone through the same thing. Sometimes, the most subtle can be the most dangerous, but we NF's can usually detect emotional abuse very quickly.
I was going to tell you that's what everyone does. Well, not, but society does that to you all the time...
I'm happy you brought that topic, I've been through that kinda relationships....sorry for my first introduction, wasn't too good. or clever.
I don't really know what you mean, but for example, my parents make me doubt of all I really want, feel stupid, they always have done. And about friends...I've had my share of abusive relationships. I had one with a girl that I liked, which spent time, much, with me, but never stopped calling me weirdo and things like that...
I feel like that.
I know how brainwashing feels like. And you start hating yourself, but...the person did it in purpse, and he makes your life hell. :( i don't know, izzie, but be strong
 

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I guess my relationship with my first ex was kind of like that. Honestly, she had a way of making me feel very guilty, ugly, evil.
 

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I understand this all too well. One situation in my life defined me by my fear, which was a fear of driving. It isolated me and I lived in that isolatation box of hopelessness for years and years. My dad gave up on wanting t oteach me how to drive and no one else reached out to help and I needed it badly. I could have willed myself to drive and overcome it, but it didn't happen for me. I did get a licence when I was around 23 or so, but had no will to drive because of the situations I've been in before like accidents and making mistakes. I was too scared to make more mistakes because I knew mistakes in a car could mean the end of my life.

It was one thing that kept me from realizing my dream. I was creative to find ways around it and tried to live mylife without it, but I knew where I lived did not rely on public transportation and everyone drives. I lacked the will to save up for a car and did not desire to drive someone else's car for fear of wrecking it or causing some kind of malfunction on the car. For me, it actally took an act of kindness of someone giving me money for a car and buying one from a friend who needed to sell their car badly. I learned little by little and made mistakes like not coordinating the clutch with the gas pedal. I've learned in the months since I started driving that I did not need to fear as long as I paid attention to where I am and not let my mind get in the way of driving. I felt really bad that I could not understand it, but with the help and encouragement of friends I was able to go past this fear. In this I did understand a true friend build you up even though many things in my mind alway brought me down. Being in a community of friends that actually love and encourage instead of just talking and hanging out changed my life to live and want to encourage others around me. I love my friends!

I was in such a mindset that it effected my life and now that I am out of it, I am slowly moving towards my goals and dreams.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I had been brainwashed too much with fear and doubt in my past by an abusive relationship and a few abusive friendships. For a long time, I was trapped in cycles of negativity, I felt helpless and I felt that I might be crazy for feeling the things that I did.

Now I'm breaking out of it... fighting away from the weight of my past....I still have my shakiness, but I'm walking towards a much better, more independent and self determining path, hopefully :happy:
 

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Not to offend anyone, but honestly my years being raised in Christianity did this to me.

I'm doing a lot, lot better now after years of coming to terms with the fact that my own values and morals are more true and important than those preached by agents of fear and hate... not that most Christians are even anything like that, but unfortunately some of the ones I came into contact with were ._.

Also years ago, my father, and my best friend at the time (separately of course, but on multiple occasions) tried to convince me that I was worth absolutely nothing and wouldn't go anywhere in life. I never actually believed any of those things, however my father was extremely abusive verbally and I've been really shaken up by some of those experiences.

I think the main problem is that I don't fit into society normally. I don't stick out like a sore thumb or anything, but I've never really been validated or entirely accepted by the outside world because I don't agree with it. Sometimes I am really afraid to do certain things and I can't entirely explain why. I think the events of my childhood just kind of beat something out of me.
 
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