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Alright this is the situation. My friend is getting into trouble from drinking and starting fights. He had a meeting with Dorm Security and they told him to either switch floors or to move to the other Campus.
I currently don't have a roommate (and to tell the truth I actually LOVE IT), so he assumes that I would accept him as my roommate. I get a call out of the blue "GUESS WHOS GOING TO BE YOUR NEW ROOMMATE?" "Um what?" "IM GOING TO BE YOUR NEW ROOMMATE MAN!". I tell him to tell me why and what happened to make him say this. He explains what I just said above. I told him to speak again with the Security Lady atleast one more time to see if he can resolve it. I think it's pretty fucked up that he springs this on me without even mentioning it earlier. I have no time to think about it. I love having my options open and now I'm in a tough spot.

He started to act all sad and betrayed when I told him to atleast set up one more meeting to see if he can fix the situation. It's like hes trying to guilt trip me. It's his fault that he got himself into this mess and now he wants me to change my ways to help him out. I actually feel betrayed a little bit. If anything I'm being more than reasonable because, I didn't just flat out say "No fuck you" like I was so itching to do. I'm suggesting that he fixes it so then all of us can be happy. Hopefully he listens. Any advice on this or similar situations?.......:angry:
 

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You were smart to tell him to arrange another meeting. He thinks that if he moves in with you, then it will be some kind of party everyday. Of course, when something goes wrong (be it his expectations are not met, or you snap on him), I bet he'll drink his way through it. And who will be the only one around to pick fights with then?

If he can't get over himself and treat you and your space with respect, then how much do you think he actually cares for you?

I hate it when people do this. I hope your friend gets himself straightened out.

Post Script: Could you try to define what type he is?
 

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isn't he your friend? roommates are fun, just let him move in
 

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If anything I'm being more than reasonable because, I didn't just flat out say "No fuck you" like I was so itching to do. I'm suggesting that he fixes it so then all of us can be happy. Hopefully he listens. Any advice on this or similar situations?.......:angry:
You are doing the right thing, but you would have to be extremley careful with your phrasing in order to keep from hurting your friend's feelings. I'm usually blunt with people, but this doesn't sound like the type of person that would go for that. He would probably be offended by it. So you have to be careful.

Your friend needs to take responsibilty for his actions.

In his mind it's probably like:

"Hey I know what, I'll just room with Keg."

There's not a second thought that goes into the trouble that he has brought upon himself.

If he were a more mature and responsible person, he probably wouldn't have done what he did in the first place, but somewhere along the line, he will need grow up some. He's "using" you, because you are a convenient "solution" to his predicament.

His feelings of being betrayed by you only show how selfish he is. He didn't even ask you. He just said, "Hey, I'm your roommate!"

So you have a right to be angry. I would be too. :angry:

But when you talk to him, you'll be better off if you cool down. :mellow:
 

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It sounds like he is looking to you as a quick fix to his problems. You have no guarantee that his drinking and fighting problems won't start again if he moves in with you. Perhaps you could encourage him to seek counseling for his problems first.
 

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I can totally understand where you are coming from. The fact that he didn't ask and just assumed that he would be moving in has to be extremely trying for you. I think you are making the right decision by holding him accountable for his actions. If he got himself into this mess it is very selfish of him to expect you to provide an easy way out. Don't let him take advantage of you....I think the decision you are making shows that you are a true friend, it may take him awhile to realize this but in the end this could make him into a stronger person.
Good luck, and stay strong, only you can make the decision that is right for you.
 

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Look at it this way, if this is how he behaves BEFORE you're roommates, imagine what living with him will be like. And if you cave now, then he'll trust you to always cave. I think his moving in with you has disaster written all over it. People guilt trip others when they need something, not when the other person really should feel guilty, because those who will give way under a guilt trip are more likely to feel guilty to begin with.

Stay strong.
 
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