Same. I think I feel like my attraction/interest is one-sided 95% of the time and an inconvenience to them. So I bury it completely most of the time.
This is because the relations between the sexes are *necessarily* asymmetrical.
As I said in another post (
http://personalitycafe.com/sex-rela...-women-creates-misogynists-9.html#post4051482)
Men are expected to
a) approach a woman they don't know
b) jump-start a conversation
c) simultaneously attract her interest without alarming her (despite pre-conditioning of women by society to think of men as dangerous)
AND segue the conversation to a point where it is both socially *and* emotionally congruent to ask her for a date
d) and to do this with NO prior information about the woman, her state of mind, relationship status, history, taste in men, hobbies, interests, or goals in life
The woman merely has to LOOK attractive enough to approach; and is not expected to put forth any particular effort to be respectful (either of the man himself or his obstacle course), intelligent, interesting, honest about her interest or intentions (how often do women stand up a man or merely flake with a text at the last minute after agreeing to a date?), nor is there any social requirement that she be polite at all when rejecting a man.
Women, on the other hand, have to put up with being approached at almost every conceivable time or place, by men, not all of whom are very smooth, or very confident, or very interesting; many of whom are only interested in using her body for sexual release, outside of any kind of relationship or commitment. She is expected to be able to screen the unattractive men from the attractive, accounting for looks, confidence, sincerity, "intentions," social standing (the man a woman is with does a LOT for her standing with other women, for good or ill), emotional compatibility, physical compatibility, sense of humor, personality, "interestingness," personality, physical safety, and suitability for LTR / ability to provide. And to do this on a near split-second basis, AND while being sensitive to a man's feelings -- even IF her main experience is with pickup artists, creeps (== men not good looking enough to have the right to hit on her / make the level of innuendo they attempt) -- because all the "nice guys" are too timid to talk to her, or flub up their approach due to nerves, or would be good in a relationship, but just don't give her that tingle right away, or would cost her social points if only dating her socially and she doesn't have him locked in, etc.
And "sexual liberation" has only clouded the waters, but allowing more leeway for men to be upfront in pressing for sex, and making it harder for women to say no (lest they be dumped by a guy they *are* attracted to, in favor of another girl who will escalate almost immediately).
'Tis a pretty kettle of fish, no?
roud:
