Yes. I identify with this a lot. Usually when I feel guilty for having fun it's when I'm not doing anything that I consider productive. So something like baking is okay because it produced a result, but watching TV makes me feel guilty because I'm not getting anything out of it. I often have to justify to myself why I need certain things. Ie, "watching this movie is productive because I can be critical of it and become a better writer by observing the writing of the film." I feel like I have to constantly be on the move because otherwise I have to stop and think about all the things I could be doing or should be doing. I'm 7w6 and 1-fixed and this rings very true for me.
Guilt
Does this sound accurate to you, 7s?
Any 7s have thoughts on guilt?
I suspect tritype and wing would affect how prominent this voice is (7w6 and 1 fixed 7s will probably feel it more strongly than 8 fixed/wing, for example) but this does make a lot of sense, at least from my perspective as a 1. It would also partially explain some of the intense reactions I've seen from 7s to criticism from others for their "irresponsibility"; while nobody likes to be judged, 7s seem especially sensitive to that sort of criticism, which would make sense if it mirrors things they've said to themselves before.A substantial part of 7 psychology is constantly staying active and occupied to avoid confronting a nagging feeling of guilt that lurks deep inside. 7s are connected to 1s, after all, and while they're not superego types and they do prioritize enjoyment and pleasure, there's always a mostly-ignored voice deep within nipping at their heels, saying "you know you should take things more seriously/you know you could do better/you know you're not doing what you should be doing", and this self-judgment is a major driving factor behind their race to constantly find new, exciting things to do that can drown out that voice.
Any 7s have thoughts on guilt?
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A little bit, but it's more like a societal thing than a self-imposed thing. Like the expectation that people should live a certain way and know what they're doing and have a defined goal. 7w6 is probably even more prone to it. 7w8 I just tell them to screw off lol. 3 is the second number in my tritype though so it like balances out the thrill-seeking with actually getting stuff done I think.
@Yeahright it makes sense that it would be more of a socially imposed guilt for you since you're both so-first and 3-fixed. That's super interesting. My guilt can be socially imposed but is usually me kicking my own ass over and over for not being The Best I Can Be
Hmm yeah, that's probably it, the so part. 3 can def bring a lot of guilt though haha. I feel like it's similar to 1 in that way.@Yeahright it makes sense that it would be more of a socially imposed guilt for you since you're both so-first and 3-fixed. That's super interesting. My guilt can be socially imposed but is usually me kicking my own ass over and over for not being The Best I Can Be
I'm also so-first.Hmm yeah, that's probably it, the so part. 3 can def bring a lot of guilt though haha. I feel like it's similar to 1 in that way.
I used to feel guilty for feeling bad. Like, for having emotions. My mom used to tell me, "You look really stupid when you cry" - usually when I was upset that she wouldn't give me what I want, but does it matter, really? That's a terrible thing to tell a little kid. And when I was a teenager and I had friends with depression and friends who had been abused and friends whose parents had died, I had to be the neurotypical one, the supporter, the one who didn't have any problems. The funny thing is that I'm not neurotypical and I did have problems. I just didn't let myself feel them because I felt guilty for having depression - I didn't have anything to be depressed about, and I had to just deny it because it wasn't there because my friends' lives were worse than my own and so I basically gave up my emotions for the sake of the group. It makes me think now of the social 7 idea of "sacrifice," which I hate but realize I do relate to.
I'm better about not doing that now, but yeah - I numbed myself a lot as a teenager because I felt guilty for feeling anything but good.
I completely relate to that description.Does this sound accurate to you, 7s?
I suspect tritype and wing would affect how prominent this voice is (7w6 and 1 fixed 7s will probably feel it more strongly than 8 fixed/wing, for example) but this does make a lot of sense, at least from my perspective as a 1. It would also partially explain some of the intense reactions I've seen from 7s to criticism from others for their "irresponsibility"; while nobody likes to be judged, 7s seem especially sensitive to that sort of criticism, which would make sense if it mirrors things they've said to themselves before.
Any 7s have thoughts on guilt?
Guilt plagues me. Sometimes I feel like I'm a 1 or superego type because I'm so critical of myself; and really, a very tortured soul underneath all the "sunshine". I am most likely a 7(w6)-1-4 sx-first, though.
It's always nice to see a thread on this topic. The darker side of 7 isn't discussed enough.
I feel guilt when I mess up a test because I was too lazy for studying properly, though this is more evident when I'm under stress, therefore feeling incompetent is a real problem for me thanks to the stronger influence of type 1 during those moments.
I also agree that being 8 fixed makes me less prone to feel guilty when I'm not under pressure, and when I work in groups it's easier to criticize my classmates' sloppiness than to see that I'm also not contributing enough for finishing a report or properly doing lab experiments, but the catch of this is that I'm aware of my lack of practical skills, therefore I prefer to choose to solve theoretical issues than to actually do an experiment, as when I do them alone they're a disaster. Indeed, I feel like a retard when I have to do any experiment, even if other people are also bad at that stuff.
I also agree that being 8 fixed makes me less prone to feel guilty when I'm not under pressure, and when I work in groups it's easier to criticize my classmates' sloppiness than to see that I'm also not contributing enough for finishing a report or properly doing lab experiments, but the catch of this is that I'm aware of my lack of practical skills, therefore I prefer to choose to solve theoretical issues than to actually do an experiment, as when I do them alone they're a disaster. Indeed, I feel like a retard when I have to do any experiment, even if other people are also bad at that stuff.
Yes, this sounds right to me. Granted, I am a 7w6 (sx/so).
There have been times in my life, especially in childhood, where I was wracked with guilt and self-doubt over my moral capacity, in a really deep and irrational sense.
But mostly, this is a background feeling that I'm barely conscious of. It surfaces once in awhile, and it's hard to feel like it isn't warranted. I tend to feel guilty about the things that a 7 probably should feel guilty for:
- Enjoying life when there is so much suffering in the world
- Not "caring" enough about other people's feelings and plights/not being able to emotionally engage when they're hurting
- Not taking care of my health, which could negatively affect my son and my significant other
- Filling my time with festivities and mindless buzzing, instead of something truly meaningful or lasting, when life is short
- Focusing more on my needs than my child's needs
- Blaming myself for staying late at work (too slow, breaks too long, waste time on details)
- Buying time for exciting experiences by cutting corners when it comes to my responsibilities.
- Failing myself when it comes to controlling my cravings, which is mostly always
I was raised by a 2/1, so maybe that gives me more awareness of how selfless a person can be, and I see myself against that backdrop.
There have been times in my life, especially in childhood, where I was wracked with guilt and self-doubt over my moral capacity, in a really deep and irrational sense.
But mostly, this is a background feeling that I'm barely conscious of. It surfaces once in awhile, and it's hard to feel like it isn't warranted. I tend to feel guilty about the things that a 7 probably should feel guilty for:
- Enjoying life when there is so much suffering in the world
- Not "caring" enough about other people's feelings and plights/not being able to emotionally engage when they're hurting
- Not taking care of my health, which could negatively affect my son and my significant other
- Filling my time with festivities and mindless buzzing, instead of something truly meaningful or lasting, when life is short
- Focusing more on my needs than my child's needs
- Blaming myself for staying late at work (too slow, breaks too long, waste time on details)
- Buying time for exciting experiences by cutting corners when it comes to my responsibilities.
- Failing myself when it comes to controlling my cravings, which is mostly always
I was raised by a 2/1, so maybe that gives me more awareness of how selfless a person can be, and I see myself against that backdrop.
That's like feeling guilty for looking after your health when there are so many unhealthy people in the world. The more healthy people there are, the better for everyone, and that includes emotional health. Being and spreading joy in the darkness is the Seven's gift to the world, don't be ashamed of it. :happy:I tend to feel guilty about the things that a 7 probably should feel guilty for:
- Enjoying life when there is so much suffering in the world
No emotional guilt here over anything at all. I let things go really easy, for my own sake.
But there is a whispering impersonal question, in the depths explaining: I should feel bad for never feeling guilty over lettings things be what they are and left to their own devices.
But there is a whispering impersonal question, in the depths explaining: I should feel bad for never feeling guilty over lettings things be what they are and left to their own devices.
Thanks for the affirmation, CR. I have historically been kind of oblivious to other peoples' suffering, and I am usually oblivious on a day-to-day basis. In the last several years, I have been noticing how certain less fortunate people react to me; with a touch of hurt, envy, and resentment. It kind of makes me sober up and check myself before parading around noisily, flaunting all my positivity and gratitude for all the fun I figure out a way to have, and all the nice things that seem to frequently happen to me.That's like feeling guilty for looking after your health when there are so many unhealthy people in the world. The more healthy people there are, the better for everyone, and that includes emotional health. Being and spreading joy in the darkness is the Seven's gift to the world, don't be ashamed of it. :happy:
Yes this fits me a lot. I'd say I don't like having that voice so I'm motivated to move on to something "more productive" even if the resulted actions really doesn't match others point of view of productive. My thoughts on this are exactly like @galactic collisions.
For example, I've been sucked into watching A LOT of scary movies (my bf and i live in a small 1 bedroom and that's what he's always doing so it just happens). I'm not gaining anything from this. I feel restless and guilty that I'm wasting so much time. But it's ok for me to watch this sitcom because it was said to accurately describe the 1920s and I am "learning." Basically I rationalize what's ok and what's not.
I'm 7w6 with a 1 fix. I think being a sp first plays into this too for me. I feel like I always need to be getting better and gain new skills and I know it's coming from the "fact" no one's going to take care of me but me thing I've got going on. I think it makes me look 5ish.
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For example, I've been sucked into watching A LOT of scary movies (my bf and i live in a small 1 bedroom and that's what he's always doing so it just happens). I'm not gaining anything from this. I feel restless and guilty that I'm wasting so much time. But it's ok for me to watch this sitcom because it was said to accurately describe the 1920s and I am "learning." Basically I rationalize what's ok and what's not.
I'm 7w6 with a 1 fix. I think being a sp first plays into this too for me. I feel like I always need to be getting better and gain new skills and I know it's coming from the "fact" no one's going to take care of me but me thing I've got going on. I think it makes me look 5ish.
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Yes i always feel guilty whenever I'm not being productive..
Thats why i sometimes retire here on perc.. Because i don't know how to logout xD hahahahahahahhahahaha
I mean sometimes when i overdo stuffs like whenever I'm being irresponsible on my real life responsibilities i feel guilty and i feel depressed actually..
Thats why i just cut mobile phone usage and just do things irl.. And concentrate on being productive..
I'm actually on practice.. XD
To balance my life..
Because seeing myself accomplishing something even it's little makes me feel gooood.
Like now, i did my chores.. And i felt really really gooood about myself..
Thats why i sometimes retire here on perc.. Because i don't know how to logout xD hahahahahahahhahahaha
I mean sometimes when i overdo stuffs like whenever I'm being irresponsible on my real life responsibilities i feel guilty and i feel depressed actually..
Thats why i just cut mobile phone usage and just do things irl.. And concentrate on being productive..
I'm actually on practice.. XD
To balance my life..
Because seeing myself accomplishing something even it's little makes me feel gooood.
Like now, i did my chores.. And i felt really really gooood about myself..
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