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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hi my only understanding of enneagram is through taking a test online that told me my top four types are 5, 2, 4, and 1. I have always thought that I was 5 as it was my highest result. Recently I took the test and 2 was my highest. I relate to both of them, I am thinking that I am a bit more 2 than 5. How can you figure out wings and gut, head and heart fix? Is there a test for that or is this just something you assume based on your personality?

edit: thanks Htt, I answered the questions below.
 
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Discussion Starter #3 (Edited)
Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
Helping people. Loving and being loved. Observing and analyzing the world I live in and people's behavior. Knowing as much as possible in order to fully understand, to know the truth. Experiencing. I look for meaningful experiences, opportunities to learn and to feel. I am drawn to intensity and depth, meaningfulness.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
To help people in ways that I can- through counseling, through listening and understanding, being supportive and showing people kindness and true care especially if they can't find it elsewhere in their lives. Giving people the care they never received. Being the kind of person that will show people that they can trust again, being someone they can depend on and believe in. Helping people to overcome any issues or problems they have not been able to, helping them to find inner peace and strength by believing in them, showing them acceptance, and ephasizing the good qualities I see in them, noticing and complimenting them on the good they do and their good traits so that they have pride in themselves. Helping undo damage others have done to them.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I hate when people say "you won't understand." Chances are I will understand and I try as hard as I can to, even when i can't personally relate i still understand. I hope to avoid being selfish. Values that are important: kindness, honesty, authenticity, compassion, empathy, respect, clemency, honor.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
Giving up on someone, disappointing people.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
As someone they can depend on, someone who sees and knows them for who they truly are and who accepts, values and appreciates them. As having inner strength.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
Best: when I help someone see a new perspective or find new understanding they hadn't had before. When my presence in someone's life has helped them in some way.
Worst: when someone becomes dependent on me and I can no longer be who they need me to be for them. When people need more from me than I can give.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
continued:


7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
Anger: usually is connected with disappoinment. I keep it inside waiting for the person to notice and remedy what has happened without me having to confront and then i explode when i have kept it in too long and feel taken advantage of. I become despondent and critical, lashing out bc of my disappointment. I become accusatory and resentful, defensive. i sting verbally with bitter and ascerbic statements and comments. I withdraw and become distant. at the core I am just hurt and feeling that I have to protect myself. i get over my anger quickly the moment the person or thing that angered me shows different behavior or changes. I am very eager to see the best and don't like being in an angry state; after the initial angry reaction i will talk myself through every perspective possible so as to give the benefit of the doubt and understand that which angered me.

shame: whenever i feel shame over something that i don't think i should be ashamed about it turns into anger at that which made me feel that unnecessary shame. but if i am truly ashamed i withdraw. i berate myself, deeply hate myself, internalize anger and take it out on myself.

anxiety: i get high-strung and feel pressured. i get irritable, impatient and need to feel control.

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Optional Questions


12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I want to trust others. part of me is cautious in the background but i give the benefit of doubt and look to trust. I pay attention, I observe so that I can figure out of someone is deserving of my trust bc once i give it it is complete trust and everything is riding on it.

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14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
The goodness in them. What they have been through in life and how that has affected who they are.

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
Insults: For the most part I don't take offense. I feel more curious why they would think the way they do. I assess the person and try to figure out where their insult came from, if it was more about me and something i had done/deserved or more about them and their own personal issues and insecurities.
Compliments: they make me feel like i have done something right or pleased someone, which are both important to me.
 
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I hate when people say "you won't understand."
I know how ya feel hahahah

You seem to emphasize how you like helping people
i would say you are type 2...but based on your fears i could also say you are maybe 1w2 or maybe 2w1
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Thanks! 2w1 sounds more accurate. I have to say that reading back over what I wrote it's so obvious to me what a 2 I am. I can see 5 in there as well.
 
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