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I actually think its harder for a male INFP to find a partner than females. Females rarely have to take action when meeting someone new in love-cases.. Im tryin my best too not to feel sorry for myself but sometimes I wish I were born as a female.



Males: Is this correct?

Females: please correct me if Im wrong:)
 

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I actually think its harder for a male INFP to find a partner than females. Females rarely have to take action when meeting someone new in love-cases.. Im tryin my best too not to feel sorry for myself but sometimes I wish I were born as a female.



Males: Is this correct?

Females: please correct me if Im wrong:)
I partly agree. Then again that's something all men have to deal with, especially introverts. I think male INFPs got some bad luck when Zeus distributed the personalities (if you want an easy and adapted life, that is), but that hasn't much to do with finding a partner. At least for me the main problem is finding my niche where I belong, finding the place where I won't get disturbed.
Regarding relationships, I think we have a hard time getting into one (at least I have), but if I find myself in one, chances are good that it's a "real thing". I value that higher than getting into a relation easily.

I don't want to be female, I'd go crazy about my menses and would always touch my boobs :blushed:
Nah, seriously, It's fine to be a male INFP - I think it just takes some time to find your place in the world, but ultimately it comes down this:
The harder the way the more worthwhile the journey. -Wilfred Thesiger
 

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I won't complain that I get to be on the passive and responsive side of the whole courtship thing. I got the better gender role in this instance, I feel. :p

This side of the fence has it's issues too. I don't like dating around. I really need a bond first before I start thinking about dating. So, I get skimmed over by guys who are afraid of the 'friend zone' (a concept I just don't understand). I don't catch 'signals' so I inadvertently lead guys on who ditch when they realize I don't want to rush into a fling, and that I want a close, long term, loving sort of relationship. I don't like having to turn people down, and I hate losing people I would have liked to get to know. Most of the guys that do approach me are not the type I want to date, and those that I do want to date are also passive, responsive types so they won't take any steps.

Then again, it all worked out. I accidentally got into a relationship with an INTP where we just grew together without having to worry about the silly dating rules neither of us understand.
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I tend to conform to whichever guy is hitting on me. In other words, I relate to them automatically. But, once the relationship starts, it's down hill. The last 2 guys I dated ended up crying for 3 months or in the fetal position smoking a big one.

You may have a problem with hitting on girls, but we have a problem with looking like the crazy girl I dated 3 times, if it even gets that far. With me, it barely gets past the first date.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Nah, seriously, It's fine to be a male INFP - I think it just takes some time to find your place in the world, but ultimately it comes down this:
I agree with you. That is probably what Im looking for... not to have to feel like a UFO.

Then again, it all worked out. I accidentally got into a relationship with an INTP where we just grew together without having to worry about the silly dating rules neither of us understand.
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Im glad it worked out for you! I can see the differences, but I can also se that both genders seem to work alike. Im selecting the people I trust, if they show me insecurity I brake loose from them in some way. but it gets me tired, been doing like this for 2 years, seems like Im searchin for something that is so perfect that it doesnt exist.
 

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This side of the fence has it's issues too. I don't like dating around. I really need a bond first before I start thinking about dating. So, I get skimmed over by guys who are afraid of the 'friend zone' (a concept I just don't understand)\
Do INFP women, in general, have a 'friend zone'?
 

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I can't speak for other INFPs, but to me the 'friend zone' is a necessary part for a relationship to develop. I need to know that I like a person, that they like me as well, and that I can see the two of us together long term. My partner should be my best friend in my opinion. I don't have the energy to play the dating game and 'test' potential boyfriends.
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Well, I don't know how it is to be an INFp-female but I guess it's a little easier. As for dating rules and how to get into a romantic relationship with a girl, I'm completely clueless. I don't know how to act, I don't know what to say and I just feel embarrassed, awkward and like a real moron when put into a situation like that. I almost never make the first move and I'm mostly attracted to shy girls, so neither do they. Oy vey...:frustrating:
 

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I can't speak for other INFPs, but to me the 'friend zone' is a necessary part for a relationship to develop. I need to know that I like a person, that they like me as well, and that I can see the two of us together long term. My partner should be my best friend in my opinion. I don't have the energy to play the dating game and 'test' potential boyfriends.
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thanks! Normally 'Friend Zone' means that if a woman sees a guy as a friend, then she won't contemplate romantic or sexual activity with him.. she just won't see him in that way. That's why guys fear it. Sounds like you don't have this. It'll be interesting to see what other INFP's say.
 

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I actually think its harder for a male INFP to find a partner than females. Females rarely have to take action when meeting someone new in love-cases.. Im tryin my best too not to feel sorry for myself but sometimes I wish I were born as a female.



Males: Is this correct?

Females: please correct me if Im wrong:)
Preaching to the choir....
 

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No that is not true at all. I think it is the same.
Females have to take just as much action as males do, now-a-days. Really.

Truthfully, in my entire life I have only been asked on a date twice.

I actually think its harder for a male INFP to find a partner than females. Females rarely have to take action when meeting someone new in love-cases.. Im tryin my best too not to feel sorry for myself but sometimes I wish I were born as a female.



Males: Is this correct?

Females: please correct me if Im wrong:)
 

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The INFP stands in contrast to Hedgemonic Masculinity

I can't agree with you more. We INFP males kinda got the short end of the stick in the dating arena. I can't remember the source, but I read an article concerning male INFP's and dating stating that female INFP's are regarded as persons with a certain inner strength that many find admirable. INFP males can have this inner strength too, but it is'nt noticed so much because the degree to which they supposedly fall short of the current alpha male paradigm. Too bad, because despite my obvious INFPness, I feel more genuinely alpha than most other people :p

Although our society is opening up in terms of equality, even the most "enlightened" people still seem bent on the old view of things, manly man (RAWR) and the girly girl (teehee!). Currently, the western male paradigm is that of the ESTJ (flame me if I'm wrong). The ESTJ personality, yang, is dichotomous with the INFP personality, yin. Although not all females fall within the INFP framework, society at large still tends to associate this personality type with classic femininity.

Even though an INFP male may compliment a differently typed female, there is no guarantee the female will recognize this. Society has sold the ESTJ personality as the cadillac of male personality types, and it turns out that a lot of girls want to drive a cadillac. Some will ditch the cadillac due to it's fuel economy and handling though and opt for a more efficient Japanese made model, and that's where the male INFP steps in. Yes, that's right, you're a Toyota :p

I ripped off most this knowledge from an essay I read on the subject of "hedgemonic masulinity" and "emphasized femininity". I can't remember what essay it is, but others have been written on the same subject and can be found on google. The subject of the essay had nothing to do with the MBTI, but seemed to fit seamlessly with the what I've learned about personality types.

The world, by and large, does not tolerate "passive" men. The INFP is the complete opposite to the ESTJ, the predictable manly man we all seem to be comfortable with.
 

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Even though an INFP male may compliment a differently typed female, there is no guarantee the female will recognize this. Society has sold the ESTJ personality as the cadillac of male personality types, and it turns out that a lot of girls want to drive a cadillac. Some will ditch the cadillac due to it's fuel economy and handling though and opt for a more efficient Japanese made model, and that's where the male INFP steps in. Yes, that's right, you're a Toyota :p
Sweet, I'm a Toyota! Small Asian cars are on the rise now, so this could be good! Seriously, though, I know what you mean and you're probably right bit I'm hopeful I will find a girl who wants a Toyot... Oh sorry, I mean, INFP male, like me. Hopefully, I've already met her...
 

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The 'friend zone' is actually pretty vital for me. It seems strange to some people but I need the person I'm with to be one of my best friends, or at least have the potential to evolve that way. It forms a basis for the rest of a relationship I think. Not sure if it's the same for others, but I'm guessing that's the reasons why a lot of INFP's find it difficult to do the whole 'casual relationship' thing.

As for males vs female INFP in terms of finding that relationship-being a female I can't speak for the other sex, but I think it's fairly similar although I definatly see your point. Men are generally expected to make the first move, but I think females may appreciate that your not part of the 'general' population. Speaking only from experience, getting approached by a guy who is very blunt and especially if I don't know who the hell he is, I don't find particularly flattering. The fact you're different from that is nice. INFP males, although maybe not the best at approaching the subject with their love interest, are very effective at winning their heart. Again, speaking only from experience with the rare few that I know.
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Discussion Starter #20 (Edited)
Even though an INFP male may compliment a differently typed female, there is no guarantee the female will recognize this. Society has sold the ESTJ personality as the cadillac of male personality types, and it turns out that a lot of girls want to drive a cadillac. Some will ditch the cadillac due to it's fuel economy and handling though and opt for a more efficient Japanese made model, and that's where the male INFP steps in. Yes, that's right, you're a Toyota :p
This post is great, you got my eyes much wider now.
I dont know about the Toyota thing, I seem to attract women in the same way ferrari do, but very few get to take a ride with a ferrari. so I would put it like this, we feel like toyotas if noone rides with us but it actually seems we are ferraris.
Worst part about being a ferrari is that if we approach we seem braggy almost, and if others approach us we almost never think theyre enough for us.
its like a curse...

how would you deal with knowledge youre a ferrari that no one gets to take a ride with?

The 'friend zone' is actually pretty vital for me. It seems strange to some people but I need the person I'm with to be one of my best friends, or at least have the potential to evolve that way. It forms a basis for the rest of a relationship I think. Not sure if it's the same for others, but I'm guessing that's the reasons why a lot of INFP's find it difficult to do the whole 'casual relationship' thing.
I seem to attract INFJ and ENFJ females by some reason, my exgirlfriend (ENFJ) has always approached me more than any girl ive been with. I know that my best matches seem to be INFJs and second ENFJs, I now got three INFJs around me, but it sucks all of them are as shy as I am.

This means I have to turn on my E-NFP in order to get along with theese mystic girls
 
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