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Discussion Starter #1
I moved about a year ago to this really small town and was really excited for the new experience. My parents actually didn't want to move, but they gave me the option and I jumped on it. I'd lived in my hometown since I was born (so 15 years, then). When I first moved to the new place, I made A LOT of new friends at my new school very quickly, but I got really bored with them after a month or two (and I think they got annoyed with my positivity). It was a really negative environment for me because everyone there is really judgmental, negative, and so unfriendly it's not even funny. They also gossip ALL the time and just seem so fake that it makes me sad; I moved because I thought I'd have the opportunity to find people who thought like me, but I don't know anyone like that. Now I feel so alone :( The past few months of school, I've been pulling back from any type of socializing, just because everyone at my school is so mean and cold to me, I figured what's the harm? Well, now I'm really socially awkward and I never know what to say anymore when someone talks to me. I've drawn back a lot and don't even talk much anymore; it feels so unnatural for me. Has anyone felt what I'm talking about, or is it just me? I'm sixteen, so it might be a teenager ENFP thing, but I've always found that I was a bit more mature than my peers (not trying to sound snobby haha, I've just had a lot of hardships in this life as of yet) and can relate to older ENFPs more. Do you think that once I'm in a more welcoming environment, like a job or just out of high school, I'll go back to being me again? I'm so scared that I've forgotten what it is to be myself...has anyone else experienced anything like this?
 

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It's alright, everything is gonna be just fine. You're still young, and from what I remember, I was in a similar situation when I was around your age. I mean grade school days are rough on everyone, but perhaps they take an extra toll on the ENFP? Hmm, who knows. In any case, people in high school are mean. And that's life. I bet that you're right in being more mature than the lot of them, and that would explain most of this. Just think of them as little Caterpies when you're well on your way to becoming a successful Butterfree!

My best advice is focus on yourself. Be the best you that you can be. I'm almost 21 and I'm only just now getting that, I'm only just now starting to feel natural raw unrefined happiness just from living, and it's great. I'm enthusiastic and out there and sociable, but there was once a time when I was withdrawn just like you are. Have hope, you will make it through!

Hope that was helpful! :)
 

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Drewski had some excellent advice :)

I just wanted to add that I am a huge people person! I love people so much and I can get along with just about anyone. However, once in awhile I also feel like a square peg - people get so negative and I get irritated that people love to be stuck in "doom and gloom". I get irritated when people don't want to step outside the box and see the bigger picture. Strange, for a person who loves people to sometimes feel out of place and its not good for this positive person to start getting negative herself just because she is surrounded by negative people. The difference here is that I am older, I am 39 years old and I have come to love who I am and I okay with slipping back into myself and just enjoying myself. I play well by myself and can keep myself occupied when everyone else is "getting on my nerves". I just kind of disappear off the radar for awhile and do my own thing.
 

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oh, i do know what you're talking about. even if i haven't experienced the same things as you did. (but who am i talking to? nobody makes the same experiences ! xD) i think it's alright, a lot of ENPs have been going through this and if they can do it, so can you. :)
i found articles on the net about that and i was so relieved after reading how many people felt like me. (uugh, i don't want to sound as if i'm enjoying their pain, i'm not.) i think you can do it. no one can be 100% positive all the time.
they say surround yourself with people you admired and adore. maybe you should avoid these gossipers at all. i'm sure there are really nice people at your school, the juwels are mostly hidden like treasures. :)
don't just bear it until you graduated. there are nice people. and i'm sure you haven't forget how to communicate. if you'll meet the right people you will get to your old self again. and believe me, you will meet them.

oh, before i forget it, here's the article i was tlaking about previously : the Form of the Inferior - ENPs

you can make it. :D
 

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Everyone gets scared that they've lost themselves when this happens.. i moved countries to a new town at 13, and experienced the same thing of having been popular and confident at my old school to an environment where i felt i was judged for every little thing. it got to the point where i forgot it's not a normal environment, and only during breaks when i'd go to summer camp would i rediscover myself. literally, i'd go away for 3 weeks and make loads of friends who thought i was awesome, then come back and try to use that positive energy and confidence at school only to be frustrated again. if your school is anything like mine was, you'd be surprised at how many other people feel that way too but hide it.

I can empathize with what you're feeling, and you don't have to worry, your old self is in there even if it doesn't feel like it, and you'll rediscover her when you move to a more positive environment. it'll probably take some effort at first but you should be fine. i had 5 years of snobby obnoxious teens at my school, and it's had very little effect on who i am now; all that's changed is that i can spot negative people from a mile away and know how to steer clear of them.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I also find that I'm not as random as I used to be when I talked to a lot of people...back when I thought I had friends, everyone compared me to this guy named 'Cyr' on youtube. I'll leave a link here, I'm sure all of you will relate haha :)
The main idea of this reply was to ask...do you think I'll go back to being random when I'm free to be myself and to be comfortable? Sorry if this post is depressing, I'm just not in the best situation right now :3
 

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You have to learn that you're still growing up. Beleive it or not, your highschool days is when your personality truly begins to take shape.

How do I know? Because I was in the same position you are now. I was in middle school at the time when I used to be a very funny and socially talkative person but once I passed 10th grade in highschool I was more mature. I talked to less and less people and became very selective of who I sociallized with. Now I'm 20. But this may be just me. I'm not entirely sure.

Your environment is different and I beleive your personality will change a lot by the time you finish high school.

Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk 2
 

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I moved about a year ago to this really small town
I've lived some of that, aye. Was tossed off to military school from age 12 to 18, and that was small-town high school plus violent testosteronization plus pure vertical hierarchy. I was driven back way inside myself, but then - when sexual abuse started - I had to explode out of myself and put things right. So I wound up rising up from the adversity - but it was from there being no alternative. And it felt like prisony hell. (It helped I read "Atlas Shrugged" at the time - when I was twelve - and it gave me the beginning of a vision of what could lie outside the walls of external repression.)
 
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Discussion Starter #9
I've never been in a completely structured school such as I imagine military school to be like, but I do understand the struggles that come with sexual abuse. For me, my reaction was more of an implosion; I stayed silent and suddenly I was angry and sad and full of emotion. Thankfully, this terrible experience, like many others have and will, influenced and changed my writing. It helped me become a better person and I'm more like the person I strive to be because of it. I'll have to read that- I've been wanting to get my hands on it for a while now.
 

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people get so negative and I get irritated that people love to be stuck in "doom and gloom"
Negativity is the real killer. I spent a lot of time with some folks wondering, kind of incredulous that they don't wake up to what is within them. And then I realized - oh, I'm an ENFP - I have something different in me. But when there's a love for problems, an attachment to trivia and gossip, as @smartypantsmile delineates ... suddenly I turn all ISTJ. ; )
 

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I've never been in a completely structured school such as I imagine military school to be like, but I do understand the struggles that come with sexual abuse. For me, my reaction was more of an implosion; I stayed silent and suddenly I was angry and sad and full of emotion. Thankfully, this terrible experience, like many others have and will, influenced and changed my writing. It helped me become a better person and I'm more like the person I strive to be because of it. I'll have to read that- I've been wanting to get my hands on it for a while now.
I hope it's not too dorky to say I just knew, or felt, that you'd know and understand. The delicate vibrations were there. I'm proud of you for how you're approaching it.

That is the use I've put the abuse, and other things: to make my life better, deeper, and my work the very same. Healing cannot be disentangled from it, for me.

"Atlas" is a memorable ride. INTJ to the max, the whole philosophy is a sort of INTJ monument - so it's intriguingly different from my own native orientation. It helped me - and it challenged me, greatly.
 

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Eh, even if it was, us ENFP's are known for being dorky :)
I'm excited to read it now! I just have to add it to my 200 book book-list haha :)
 

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Eh, even if it was, us ENFP's are known for being dorky :) - I'm excited to read it now! I just have to add it to my 200 book book-list haha :)
: )

Don't tell anyone, but I've helped out on the A.S. movies - a little bit. (Pts 1 and 2 were critically panned - I'm trying to help Pt. 3 is less so, and more true to the most important part of the book.)
 
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