[mrgreendots]

I seriously don't know what to do with my emotions when they come up, I keep debating whether I should ignore them so I don't over think it and make it worse or if I should acknowledge them and then do something about it, in which case I have no clue what I could do to make it better. I just feel like I was handed a big glob of goop that's slowly slipping out of my hands and that I have nowhere to put.

What do you do against negative emotions? What do you do with the positive ones? What obstacles do/did you encounter?

 

[Recede]

I've been trying to figure this out too. What I do know from experience is that focusing on negative emotions can make them a lot worse and potentially trigger a downward spiral into depression, so I try not to dwell on negativity. At the same time, I don't think it's a good idea to ignore them completely to the point of denying their existence. It's important for all feelings to be acknowledged, because whether you do or don't, you still have to live with them. Though I haven't quite figured out yet what to do with this acknowledgment that I assume is important. Do I just say "Okay, so I'm feeling sad" and then move on to something else?

I've also tried a number of things that are supposed to help people deal with emotions (such as reframing, exercise, or deep breaths for anxiety), but they never seem to work for me.

 

[sleepyhead]

I used to try and escape the sensations of strong emotions but I know now that really only serves to heighten them in the long run. Now I try not to do anything with them, just let them be and pay attention to how they feel in my body. What is it you feel you need to make better? The uncomfortable sensation of having to experience emotions?

My own obstacles in dealing with emotions center around just accepting them, especially the negative ones. I tend to not notice when a negative feeling has been building (for days, weeks, or months) and then I try and fight against feeling it or I concentrate on "trying to make it better" through information gathering or manic actions that ultimately serve no purpose - unless of course I know what the underlying issue is and there's an appropriate course of action to take.

When there really isn't anything I can do to concretely deal with the emotions, I try to acknowledge it and just let the physical sensation happen. When I'm able to do that, it feels very freeing. Letting the physical sensations happen sometimes makes them dissipate quickly and sometimes I have to sit with the uncomfortable feeling for a few hours or days and keep accepting it over and over.

I used a Pleasant/Unpleasant events calendar when I did a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course a couple of years ago and it was helpful in getting me in touch with the subtleties of some of my positive and negative emotions. It helped me notice physical cues I'd never paid attention to before, and as a result, recognize my emotions a bit quicker and respond to them with less stress. For unpleasant events I would use things like stubbing my toe, breaking a dish, or just feeling annoyed or anxious in general. For pleasant events I would use things like sitting with my cat, eating a good meal, or making an interesting discovery.

http://health.ucsd.edu/specialties/mindfulness/mbsr/Documents/Mindfulness%20-%20Pleasant-Unpleasant%20Events.pdf

 

[mrgreendots]

I used a Pleasant/Unpleasant events calendar when I did a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course a couple of years ago and it was helpful in getting me in touch with the subtleties of some of my positive and negative emotions. It helped me notice physical cues I'd never paid attention to before, and as a result, recognize my emotions a bit quicker and respond to them with less stress. For unpleasant events I would use things like stubbing my toe, breaking a dish, or just feeling annoyed or anxious in general. For pleasant events I would use things like sitting with my cat, eating a good meal, or making an interesting discovery.

http://health.ucsd.edu/specialties/mindfulness/mbsr/Documents/Mindfulness%20-%20Pleasant-Unpleasant%20Events.pdf

That's interesting, I'll have to try it one week, thank you for the link!

 

[Incorporeal]

I'm not sure I understand. Are emotions themselves really the problem, or are you bothered by what causes them?

I know that many Fives and thinking types are wary of strong emotions—sometimes even fear them. I've often heard these people describe emotions as “overwhelming”; but I'm not sure exactly what this means, and feeling overwhelmed by nothing more than the sheer intensity of my emotions is never a problem for me. Problems are always related to context.

Maybe I've just had to adapt. I have, shall we say, a delicate neurological constitution. If powerful emotional or sensory experiences were inherently problematic for me, I could not function. Being afraid of doing something that one might later regret makes sense to me (But I have never experienced an emotion so powerful that I felt unable to trust myself or that my decisions were not ultimately mine, so I don't worry about this. Lucky me.) Being afraid of emotions themselves does not.

Negative emotions can be uncomfortable, but they are not so different from physiological impulses like hunger: both are useful, necessary signals that tell us we need something. Hunger is a good example. When we are hungry, we eat. Problem solved. If we are hungry and we can't eat—well . . . shit. But life goes on (I don't mean to belittle emotional struggles. I'm just pointing out that, to the extent possible, we shouldn't worry about what we can't change.)

Euphoria invariably subsides; even the most profound despair abates (except when it doesn't). Emotions are like waves. They roll in and pass by. Their rhythm is eternal.

The problem with fearing emotions is that you will find yourself constantly beset with anxiety: if you don't like the tide, don't live by the ocean. If you don't like emotions . . . ? I feel like I'm spouting truisms, and it makes me feel a little dumb and shallow, frankly. But what I continue to find is that no matter how irritatingly oversimplified appraisals they seem, in the end they turn out to be useful and mostly true.

 

[Umber]

I find a certain reality in despair. There is a faint knowing sensation in it, I find. I think I have a good handle on what it'd feel like to win the lottery, or become, I don't know, super-god of all this dust. Feelings of elation and then hopes and dreams built up so that in a later date they can fall down. But I believe it is far harder to simulate actual negative emotions to traumatic events. I suppose being safe, warm, comfortable etc. Leads us all into a certain trap, possibly one of indolence. One where we can't see the full force of real destitution and loss.

I think that the only chance is to accept the Hell which you are all undoubtedly subjected to. Accept the eternal unforgiving suffering of all creation. And then realise that however constant it is, it is only matched by us. Whatever Hell it is, we are the ones who can survive it.

 

[Priva]

I write music or poetry, then I analyze the heck out of it.

 

[Chesire Tower]

The problem with fearing emotions is that you will find yourself constantly beset with anxiety

That is very true. Unfortunately for me, when it comes to anything extremely upsetting; I go on autopilot and completely repress it out of consciousness. I might not even realise that I'm even upset, until I have been analyzing/researching something totally unrelated, reading, even watching TV or playing chess on my computer well late into the night. I know things are really bad if I can't sleep, because my mind is racing so much that I literally force myself to stay awake until the next day.