[BlackRoseImmortal]

Imagination suppressed

Hey there. I want to share something with you that has troubling me over the last years. I have been too numb to care about this before, and not until now do I realize how stupid it is. I find this very complex to put down into words, but I'll try my best.

At times, it feels like I'm being haunted by environments from my past. Whether it is a now closed down grocery store, the kindergarten I went to or places from video games I've played; past environments just pop-up in my mind and stays whenever they feel to. They aren't photographic or detailed, but still as general as they have to be to create an ambience, some kind of background compliment.

I'm not the one who tend to put much attention to the past. These ambiences tend to be stuck though, and they appear ill-timed. They often appear in situations where I'm ought to find my energy and peace, where I really could use my vivid imagination and empathy. I'm especially thinking about music now, where certain pieces now are associated with certain environments, but also reading and even chatting with a friend on the net...

Can you relate to this way of cognition? Have you ever heard of this before? I hope what I'm writing really makes sense, feel free to ask for clarification otherwise.

 

[Ntuitive]

That's really interesting. It makes sense to me, but I haven't really heard of it from anyone else. For a while I was constantly having random memories of environments from my past pop into my mind. It was just the overall feel of it, and a little bit of how I felt at the time. I wasn't bothered by it because it only lasted maybe half a year. The past several years though a very small event from the past will pop up in my head and make me feel embarrassed or angry. That happens a few times a day.

 

[Kyrielle]

Can you relate to this way of cognition? Have you ever heard of this before? I hope what I'm writing really makes sense, feel free to ask for clarification otherwise.

I can relate. There are times where a memory of a place (more the overall feeling of that place) will utterly swamp my brain. There might be a time when I'm driving, and maybe I pass by a mailbox or a tree that triggers a memory of some place I've been. Suddenly, I'm there again, but not there. I'm here in the present, but at the same time, I feel like I'm back there in the past. I'm in two places at once--divided. It's a fascinating, though physically uncomfortable feeling.

The most intense experience occurred when I revisited the street where I grew up last year. I nearly threw up because the division (and collision) in my head was so powerful. I had to pull over and rest my head on the steering wheel for a while until my brain righted itself. What happened was it felt as if I had found a HUGE hole in reality and drove right through it. That I was in some place where memory, dreams, and reality were colliding and mixing all together. Where I was suddenly in three perceptions of reality all at the same time, and I honestly didn't know which one was the "outside". I completely lost touch, and the dissonance affected me on a physical level.

I still have moments here and there, but nothing as intense as that experience has happened since (though I'm sure that under the right conditions, it could happen again).

 

[InsanityRemix]

I can definately relate. It's not just the places, but the things that happen there. It's never anything positive, and usually involves past mistakes I have made, like if I happened to make anybody feel like crap by accident or if I managed to do something completely stupid and immoral... they would also often pop up in my dreams and be replayed and replayed and replayed, but that was in my early teens. Lately I've been walking with my friend to my elementary school too, and not only has it changed but it's also depressing looking because there's so much that's missing now. I also felt like most of the people there hated me and was afraid of them even though they didn't hate me at all, and I didn't find that out until around late middle school/early freshman year in high school. I also had a dream recently where a manifestation of my own self hatred, looking like a starved, burnt, eyeless, dead version of me with a fire symbol on its gut and a tear shape carved just under its eye tried to kill me there, spreading darkness and emitting the zelda ocarina of time redead moan while also letting out this scream that sounded like a little girl being murdered.

Summarizing this, I can relate. These places dwell on my conscious mind from time to time and also haunt my dreams.

 

[firelink]

I m totally on it

For years, my subconscious have fought in order to be back to some place , that has meaning to me.
Now I m living right where I wanted, in the cross road of my past and futur, it s not only a word game here . it s really what it is.

let me explain a little bit .


When I was child I lived in some place , I was totally happy of that . When I get 6 years, we moved to another place.
I was really disapointted and unhapy , and also family condition had totally changed , I ddin't live anymore with my grand parents
And there was not a lot of love in my family.
So for year to years my mind was searching a way to come back to place where happiness were in past.
So each time there were decision to be made , i feel it took me near and near my native place. But it wasn't conscious process (I didn't plan to do it at first at all ). But step by step , the direction was followed. Finally when I looked back , i saw that was exactly what it meant . Of course , after some point, I saw what direction my mind followed.

In term of mbti , it s the usage of SI , that compare past and present situation , and deduce if it was good or bad then , especially if it s a good experience , give you a way back machine .
when you are in these same place, in fact you are visiting not only the place (present ) but also revisiting your emotional state at this moment (because we are totally aware of our emotionnal state ) . Walking on this same street , mean walking in theses same memories. And of course this is enforced by the Ni , that is the pattern recognition function , then focuse it on this big big pattern where you are back in time )




hope that help .