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It blows my mind when people have said that I am "hard to figure out" because i make no effort at all to be "mysterious". It is even stranger for me because sometimes I feel like i really relate or completely understand where someone else is coming from or how THEY feel, so when the same people say that *I* am hard to figure out, I'm so confused.

I've been told, even in my most extraverted moments, that I am very reserved (but not shy). I can't even imagine then how people perceive me NOW, because I know i'm going through a hermit phrase in my life right now (i know this will pass and i have no intentions whatsoever in staying in this mode, i think i just have to ride it out).

Anyway..... does anyone relate? has anyone else ever been told the same thing?
 

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Yeah, I really think people due have a hard time figuring me out. Like, I know most people realize that I'm not the most extroverted person, but I'm not shy, and there's a lot of things happening under the surface that aren't really apparent to other people due to that.
 
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what's more weird is when someone CAN figure you out. this creeps me out more than anything.
 

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yeah, i've had someone analyze me. or at least i could sort of feel and sense them analyzing me and figuring me out. that was really disturbing too.
 

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I tend to maintain a consistently cynical expression. My roommate on several occasions has remarked that I'm a tough nut to crack.

I quite like it that way. ;)
 
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I think what gets me is when people think they know what I am all about and they know nothing about me. Most dont really seem to be as interested in knowing what I am about as I am about knowing them. I often wondered why I was genuinely interested in other people and wanted to accept them for everything that makes them who they are, but people dont often reciprocate in my life. Maybe I should meet some more INFJ's-I am new to this site so who knows-could happen sooner than I think!
 

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All the frickin time. My own mom doesn't get me. Now I love her and we get along perfectly but it's odd that she doesn't understand my intentions or that she thinks I'm unpredictable. It doesn't matter to either of us of course. For other people, the always think I'm mad/sad at something or someone.
 

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Every once in a while, you run into somebody (normally happy and extroverted with everyone else) and then you talk to them and they just stare at you, like they're trying to make you uncomfortable. What they're actually doing is figuring you out. It's like they're seeing right through you. It can be disturbing, but it can lead to some really helpful comments too (like one guy telling me to relax and take life a little bit slower).
 

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Ya, I've sort of accepted this fact. Although there are times where I know that I can be on the same level as someone. Like looking at your good friend (That you've known forever or you've met someone where you really "click") and you know what each of you are thinking. My youngest sister is actually pretty good at keeping me in line, for instance when I get into debates with my dad. She'll just give me this look and I'll realize "opps, maybe I should shut-up" before I say anything. But I mean this goes along with the idea of time.

But this weekend (I serve patients and nurses coffee) this one woman was ordering and midway she put her elbow on the corner. I asked her, very carefully, "it's the morning and it's already going bad?" She poured out her situation she was dealing with her husband's horrible kidney transplant incident and I just stood and listened. If someone notices my emotional behavior, which, in some instances I'm very transparent, I actually don't mind. Then there are other times where I really wish people didn't think of me as being so mysterious and complicated, although I don't mind it. Keeps people wondering and never knowing what I'm going to do next.

I think this comes from being introverted and we're all ready living in our heads. But maybe because we're not vocalizing what we're thinking all the time either and just keeping it all inside? I'm also a private individual and would rather not having everyone in my world. I think what I've created (in my head) is only meant for certain people. I'm not wasting it on any Joe who wouldn't give a damn, in the end.
 

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The only person who told me to my face that I am hard to read was the same and only person who also told me I am too sensitive.

Frankly all the people who don't get me I am not really surprised they do so. They are really not very observant at all

I am totally easy to figure out.
 

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yeah, i've had someone analyze me. or at least i could sort of feel and sense them analyzing me and figuring me out. that was really disturbing too.
but then you get to do something totally random and throw them off the track, it's fun ^^

If world was full of introverted intuition dominants I think we'd understand each other much better, but since we're like 2-3% of the population everybody around us uses some kind of other 'cognitive' lens and me thinks they simply can't easily follow our way of thinking then we can appear 'unpredictable' to them. May be it also lies in our sensitivity to seeing patterns which other people don't see. Then you inform others about it and for them it is like equivalent of you pulling out a rabbit of out of your wizard's hat.
 

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Heck, it is hard enough figuring myself out. I really don't expect others to figure me out. I don't think about it anymore. I'm me as I am.

PS I know...I just crashed the party! :tongue:
 

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People always tell me that and, unfortunately, they often get angry because of it. They convert their inability to see me into my exhibition of superiority complex, like I believe I am too smart for them so I just cut them down with my inexpressive attitude.
I am also told I am 'hard to figure out' when I talk about what I think. I don't know what is the problem, it may be that I have strange ideas or that my ideas are against their preconceptions about who I am and everything comes as a surprise, neither good or bad, just strange.
As for myself, I don't even need to figure me out because I am what I am.
 

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INFJs are not impossible to figure out, just requires more effort. Someone just has to have an open mind, patience and the desire to understand that person and the INFJ has to be open(this is very important). Are we different then others(wait a minute everyone is different! GASP)? Yes. Doesn't mean we are impossible to figure out. Believing one is impossible to figure out short changes other people because it takes away from other people's capability to understand.
 
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