Have you met a INTJ of your gender?
[INFJ]
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Met a male INTJ.
He was a "squad leader" in a game I played and we pretty much swapped strategies/ideas and watched each other's backs.
We seem. . . curious of each other because we know that we share similarities but differences as well. We've talked many times over the last few years, and the curiosity is still there and a bit of a mutual respect has developed.
He was a "squad leader" in a game I played and we pretty much swapped strategies/ideas and watched each other's backs.
We seem. . . curious of each other because we know that we share similarities but differences as well. We've talked many times over the last few years, and the curiosity is still there and a bit of a mutual respect has developed.
I think a girl I fell in love with once was one.
I remember initially thinking that she was INFJ, we had so much in common. It was really nice meeting someone at the time who was equally intense (this was in high school when no one else my age really seemed to value deep thinking and talking and looking at the world beyond their immediate social circumstances.) She was incredibly smart and tough, which I admired.
I remember initially thinking that she was INFJ, we had so much in common. It was really nice meeting someone at the time who was equally intense (this was in high school when no one else my age really seemed to value deep thinking and talking and looking at the world beyond their immediate social circumstances.) She was incredibly smart and tough, which I admired.
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Am not great at typing people so I only know someone's type if they tell me.
So, to my knowledge I've known just 2 INTJs. One female (ex romantic partner). And one male and we're good friends though only see each other occasionally because of distance. He always struck me as very confident so I was (at that time) surprised when he told me he was an introvert. But, thinking about it, he's always reading and is very comfortable sitting alone in a bar with a beer and a newspaper. He's also very generous and thoughtful.
Just remembered - I attended a course once and the lecturer spoke briefly about M-B and that he was INTJ. At another point in the course he told us that he'd once worked in a job which involved some sort of financial selling which he knew to be very dubious eg not in his clients' best interests. But he seemed very casual about this - yes, other people had lost out financially but that was their look out. Which quite shocked me.
So, to my knowledge I've known just 2 INTJs. One female (ex romantic partner). And one male and we're good friends though only see each other occasionally because of distance. He always struck me as very confident so I was (at that time) surprised when he told me he was an introvert. But, thinking about it, he's always reading and is very comfortable sitting alone in a bar with a beer and a newspaper. He's also very generous and thoughtful.
Just remembered - I attended a course once and the lecturer spoke briefly about M-B and that he was INTJ. At another point in the course he told us that he'd once worked in a job which involved some sort of financial selling which he knew to be very dubious eg not in his clients' best interests. But he seemed very casual about this - yes, other people had lost out financially but that was their look out. Which quite shocked me.
So weird they're supposed to be rare. I've known so many INTJs. But I've worked in politics and the sciences (<---typism! In action!)
My best friend in high school was a female INTJ, I currently work with a female INTJ (maybe 2), and I've worked with one before as well. I find they tend to be friendly-mannered but generally aloof as they take you in. Very intelligent, sensible and capable, with a slightly dry sense of humor. I find they highly value intelligence and competence, especially in the work place, and they will respect you and warm up when you exhibit these qualities. Additionally, while it may initially take them by surprise, I think they eventually value the special passion and feeling that an INFJ can exhibit about certain subjects. For example I used to work at a non-profit and while the INTJ in the org was competent and was committed to their missions based on her logical belief of right and wrong, I think she was curious, surprised (and touched?) at how personally I took the success of our projects and how fired up I could get/emotionally invested I was in them. I was constantly in awe of how cool and collected and competent she was and enjoyed her chill, dry sense of humor, so we worked well together as a team; very similar competencies and abilities except with the head/heart difference in perspective and enthusiasm, which may lead to differences of opinion. When I dated a male INTJ, he told me that the thing he loved most about me was how affectionate I was. So I think that the (judicious) display of your warmth is something they value in INFJs, but only after they have established respect for your intelligence. That relationship eventually fell apart however because we both thought we were smarter than the other person and could never admit we were wrong. I find INTJs don't like to be told they're wrong about intellectual things, but they will respect you and cede the point if you can prove it (thought they won't like it) and don't make it personal or get overemotional.
When my INTJ colleague took the Myers-Briggs test for work she told me she'd thought I was an ENFP because I get along with people so much better than her and seem drawn to them. I think she was a little offended at how cold and calculating the description of her was. I find that she and other INTJ women are not devoid of feelings or anything like that; it's just that they tend not to display them, or sometimes listen to them, and I think they like that aspect of themselves being drawn out by INFJs. At time I have felt that some can be a bit competitive, calculating or manipulative of people or situations to get themselves ahead in the workplace, but they are always so competent and fulfill their duties better than almost anyone else, so it is a tough point to argue. I find them very laid-back, clever, funny, and easy to talk to about most things unrelated to work/school.
So yeah, as an INFJ as long as you watch your "always-think-you're-right" tendencies (they have those too), don't let yourself get intimidated by them, and let them see your intelligence and warmth and don't push it too fast, I think INFJs and INTJs are very compatible. I have found them some of the easiest people to truly be myself around.
My best friend in high school was a female INTJ, I currently work with a female INTJ (maybe 2), and I've worked with one before as well. I find they tend to be friendly-mannered but generally aloof as they take you in. Very intelligent, sensible and capable, with a slightly dry sense of humor. I find they highly value intelligence and competence, especially in the work place, and they will respect you and warm up when you exhibit these qualities. Additionally, while it may initially take them by surprise, I think they eventually value the special passion and feeling that an INFJ can exhibit about certain subjects. For example I used to work at a non-profit and while the INTJ in the org was competent and was committed to their missions based on her logical belief of right and wrong, I think she was curious, surprised (and touched?) at how personally I took the success of our projects and how fired up I could get/emotionally invested I was in them. I was constantly in awe of how cool and collected and competent she was and enjoyed her chill, dry sense of humor, so we worked well together as a team; very similar competencies and abilities except with the head/heart difference in perspective and enthusiasm, which may lead to differences of opinion. When I dated a male INTJ, he told me that the thing he loved most about me was how affectionate I was. So I think that the (judicious) display of your warmth is something they value in INFJs, but only after they have established respect for your intelligence. That relationship eventually fell apart however because we both thought we were smarter than the other person and could never admit we were wrong. I find INTJs don't like to be told they're wrong about intellectual things, but they will respect you and cede the point if you can prove it (thought they won't like it) and don't make it personal or get overemotional.
When my INTJ colleague took the Myers-Briggs test for work she told me she'd thought I was an ENFP because I get along with people so much better than her and seem drawn to them. I think she was a little offended at how cold and calculating the description of her was. I find that she and other INTJ women are not devoid of feelings or anything like that; it's just that they tend not to display them, or sometimes listen to them, and I think they like that aspect of themselves being drawn out by INFJs. At time I have felt that some can be a bit competitive, calculating or manipulative of people or situations to get themselves ahead in the workplace, but they are always so competent and fulfill their duties better than almost anyone else, so it is a tough point to argue. I find them very laid-back, clever, funny, and easy to talk to about most things unrelated to work/school.
So yeah, as an INFJ as long as you watch your "always-think-you're-right" tendencies (they have those too), don't let yourself get intimidated by them, and let them see your intelligence and warmth and don't push it too fast, I think INFJs and INTJs are very compatible. I have found them some of the easiest people to truly be myself around.
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My mother.
Once I moved out and got away from all the motherly nags and control issues, we get along really well. We discuss all kinds of theoretical somethings and enjoy the same kinds of jokes (even the lame ones like puns). When I don't know how to do something or how something works, I'll ask her--because even if she has no clue in heck, she makes up pretty accurate answers with that Ni-Te thing.
Once I moved out and got away from all the motherly nags and control issues, we get along really well. We discuss all kinds of theoretical somethings and enjoy the same kinds of jokes (even the lame ones like puns). When I don't know how to do something or how something works, I'll ask her--because even if she has no clue in heck, she makes up pretty accurate answers with that Ni-Te thing.
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I know a ridiculous amount of INTJs, at least 4 female and 4 male. One of my best friends is an INTJ, and related to the "always-think-you're-right" tendencies, it sometimes seems to her like I try to prove that I know more than her or am trying to "one-up" her, when we both get caught up in that kind of thinking. The problem is that isn't how I see it. Since I'm an enneagram type 5, offering information is one of the main ways I prefer to contribute to a conversation, and while I like to look like I know what I'm talking about, it's not like I try to look like I know more than anyone else. However, I'm really trying to watch how I communicate now, for her sake.
Also, about INTJs liking to be drawn out of their emotional shells, this was exactly the opposite in this particular situation. Some really big issues came up, and I really wanted to do something to help, but trying to draw her out of her emotion shell almost destroyed our friendship. I think it might have intruded on her sense of independence, or maybe since she really dislikes dealing with emotions, they were making her confused already, and I only added to that pressure.
Overall, I think I get along with INTJs incredibly well. I don't know how they see INFJs, but to me they feel like kindred souls.
Also, about INTJs liking to be drawn out of their emotional shells, this was exactly the opposite in this particular situation. Some really big issues came up, and I really wanted to do something to help, but trying to draw her out of her emotion shell almost destroyed our friendship. I think it might have intruded on her sense of independence, or maybe since she really dislikes dealing with emotions, they were making her confused already, and I only added to that pressure.
Overall, I think I get along with INTJs incredibly well. I don't know how they see INFJs, but to me they feel like kindred souls.
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My mother might be an INTJ with developed Fi...or INFJ with developed Ti. Difficult to say.
My friend at school was a raging INTJ. Cold, intellectual and arrogant as hell with a very dark sense of humour. He demonstrated very little tolerance for stupid people. Watching him bicker with my other xSTP friend was always a great source of amusement. They had a fight once...it has hilarious XD
My friend at school was a raging INTJ. Cold, intellectual and arrogant as hell with a very dark sense of humour. He demonstrated very little tolerance for stupid people. Watching him bicker with my other xSTP friend was always a great source of amusement. They had a fight once...it has hilarious XD
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I had to chuckle at this question. One of my best friends is an INTJ. We met at the end of third grade. Then she went off to nerd school the next year. Then I joined her in nerd school in sixth grade and we re-became friends almost immediately.
She's one of the most brillliant people I know. Also one of the most well-rounded and eclectic. She can be good at anything. I secretly pride myself in that ability, but she tops me no questions asked.
She's also one of the most self-deprecating people I know. It's actually pretty amazing (in a not good way...) how much self-esteem she doesn't have. She's always looking for some kind of fulfillment in achievements. I can't help finding this a little sad, but the good thing is that her underlying drive is her need to "create something completely and consummately [her] own." She is by no means superficial in wanting to be accomplished.
I think I've had the deepest conversations with her. She's more open to talking with me about heavy topics than many of my other friends. We both find oursevles incompetent and we are able to laugh at ourselves together. We can also give each other encouragement without sounding fake and trivial. Yep.
Also, that's only one INTJ female I know.
She's one of the most brillliant people I know. Also one of the most well-rounded and eclectic. She can be good at anything. I secretly pride myself in that ability, but she tops me no questions asked.
She's also one of the most self-deprecating people I know. It's actually pretty amazing (in a not good way...) how much self-esteem she doesn't have. She's always looking for some kind of fulfillment in achievements. I can't help finding this a little sad, but the good thing is that her underlying drive is her need to "create something completely and consummately [her] own." She is by no means superficial in wanting to be accomplished.
I think I've had the deepest conversations with her. She's more open to talking with me about heavy topics than many of my other friends. We both find oursevles incompetent and we are able to laugh at ourselves together. We can also give each other encouragement without sounding fake and trivial. Yep.
Also, that's only one INTJ female I know.
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