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Has anyone here been socially retarded / awkward and managed to overcome it for a significant period of time?

If so, how did you do it, sir or ma'am?

I am struggling at work a bit. The job I have is a very social office job.
 

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Socially retarded? Let me see...I have intense stammering probably since I was 3 years old.

My childhood, specially school life was horrible. I ranked first in the class but when asked a question could not utter a word at all. There was a long period of time for nearly 6 years when I used to count words I spoke with classmates in an entire day, like "yesterday I spoke ten words and today I spoke seven words, oh no!" No need to say I had no friends.
My relatives pitied me but stayed away because when asked something I would answer the bitter truth (INTP trait) which was unacceptable from a child. I was deemed "rude".

When I was 16, I came to know a very intelligent ISFP girl who later became my best friend. Afterwards I began to talk more. One thing I noticed, the more I laugh, the more relaxed and laid back I am the more I can talk, the more grows my confidence
Within a year I was mostly cured of my stammering. Sickness that even therapists could not heal, was made disappear by my best friend who has endless patience.

I am still a student and have no idea what problems can arise in professional areas but I think introverts in general, lack confidence and become anxious while socializing. So, relax and talk as much as possible with someone who values you, shares common interest with you, not necessarily family but someone who is interested in hearing you out. That will help you grow confidence. When confident, you will be more sociable.

I hope this helps.:happy:
 

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1.Work on your confidence
2.Check if you have the "INTx monotone voice" if so, work on adapting your voice to different situations
^Also check your body language+face expressions, lack of Fe can make said things too stiff/indifferent/emotionless/creepy making people intimidated/get the wrong message by you and further communication with them being veryyy awkward/nonexistent

People don't see what's in your head, they see what you externalize so making yourself look approachable is key as it will make your workspace more relaxed
You as result will open up more and connect with others

I hope this is helpful on any degree
 

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I think I've overcome social retardation for the most part unless it's a VERY awkward situation. Then I clam up and get all tense.

Although it hasn't stopped me from finding most company to be extremely tiresome. So even though I can handle myself socially I have zero desire to do so most of the time. And then THAT becomes awkward because people assume I don't like them.

Which I suppose is true. And it doesn't help to explain to them that it's not that you actively dislike them, you just don't want to be around them at all.
 

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I have not but one thing I have learned is that your awkwardness is mostly just in your head. I have been surprised countless times to find out people don't perceive me to be as socially inept as I know I am.

I have unintentionally become better at passing for normal than I ever thought I was capable of.
 

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Honestly, just do whatever it takes to make you a better person, and a more successful person.

it starts with
1. ACCEPTING IT. you're ok, you don't have to be social, you don't have to be "like other people", you can still be whatever you want and be unique, just think of it in terms of that sometimes you "need" to do other stuff to please other people that you might not like, but those stuff will make you happier in the long run aka more successful (for example, your job).
2. Never let it stop you from doing what you want to do! -- doing it poorly (even though that's only yourself talking in your head) is much much much better than not doing it at all. With habit you'll realize it's not a problem, it's just in your head.

Good luck INTP family
 

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Coffee. Coffee is like alcohol for the daytime. It makes the connections faster, you have more amusing internal monologue opportunities, therefore you smile more, and smiling makes people like you. Bonus: you talk so quickly that they think you're smart, so you get promoted.
 

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Coffee. Coffee is like alcohol for the daytime. It makes the connections faster, you have more amusing internal monologue opportunities, therefore you smile more, and smiling makes people like you. Bonus: you talk so quickly that they think you're smart, so you get promoted.
Dear god, no! Coffee makes me even worse!
 

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Dear god, no! Coffee makes me even worse!
Really? Worse, how? For me, it really diminishes my stockpile of fucks to give about social dexterity. The ideas are too fast and furious and interesting to bother with what anyone else thinks about me. So it extroverts me a little. Without it, I'd be more apt to conclude that nothing really matters anyway, and no one will understand, so why bother. Coffee gives me optimism. Or at least it makes pessimism/self/consciousness/anxiety the least interesting thing in my brain at the time.

I know caffeine increases anxiety in some people, but for me, as long as it's before 3pm (that seems to be the witching hour for it) it's a happy potion. Now after 3pm--different STORY. Small anxieties turn into fully-fledged paranoid delusions. Is that what happens to you, anytime?
 

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Nope. I'm working on it. A lot. Especially lately.

I'm awkward and strange and weird and intimidating. That's how other people see me. I don't see me as that way, but I still have to function in society with people who label me as such. If you want to fit in the best you can, you have to play the game to an extent, however superficial that may be. It become a matter of social and professional survival.
 

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Nope. I've just been better at faking it; I'm not sure if one can completely overcome it.
 
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Really? Worse, how? For me, it really diminishes my stockpile of fucks to give about social dexterity. The ideas are too fast and furious and interesting to bother with what anyone else thinks about me. So it extroverts me a little. Without it, I'd be more apt to conclude that nothing really matters anyway, and no one will understand, so why bother. Coffee gives me optimism. Or at least it makes pessimism/self/consciousness/anxiety the least interesting thing in my brain at the time.

I know caffeine increases anxiety in some people, but for me, as long as it's before 3pm (that seems to be the witching hour for it) it's a happy potion. Now after 3pm--different STORY. Small anxieties turn into fully-fledged paranoid delusions. Is that what happens to you, anytime?
On a good day I get a bit of a boost but almost everyday it almost like my brain tries to shutdown. I can't drink certain energy drinks because they cause panic attacks while coffee brings me to the edge of that.
I'm irritable, agitated, anxious, jittery, paranoid, my mind is in overdrive to the point of feeling like it is crashing. My hyperactivity becomes so much worse.
There are other thoughts and feelings but those are the basic and it is really hit or miss for when this happens. Sometimes I can't drink it and other times I can drink as much as I would like. I think that is linked to other things going on that I am going to see a Doctor about.

There is an episode of Futurama where Fry drinks 100 cups of coffee, that is me plus feeling like the world is ending.
 

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Gave up on this long ago. It is better to be socially retarded than retarded by society.
 

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My new definition of social awkwardness, is not being able to be yourself around others.
Unfortunately I didn't overcome that, I try to compensate for my lack emotional expressions. I am not someone who shows emotions with facial expressions or through vocal fluctuations. I have to try really hard to not make others think I am not interested, or don't care about them. The funny thing is, many times I really don't care or just want to be home alone, I just can't bring myself to be my authentic self around others, regardless of how I truly feel at that moment.
 
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