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Discussion Starter #1
I was wondering if any other INFJs have trouble keeping their faces straight. I could be totally alone but thought I'd ask anyway. I have been a proficient eye roller since I can remember. Everything I think has a way of making it onto my face. This isn't the greatest trait to have in a professional setting and some people find it unnerving and even offensive. Anyone else have the same problem and methods to cope with it? Also, does anyone know why it happens in the first place?
 

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Interesting, some of it may be situational and depend on whether the people you're around are good at reading facial expressions or body language. For me, I think it also might be environmental. I grew up in a house with two thinkers and I wonder if my facial expressions arose out of some desperate need to be noticed or understood. People usually know I'm angry/upset when I really am.
 

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I've had to approach teachers who've seemed bothered and explained... "That's just what I look like when I think."

:dry:

Damn Ni.... always getting us in trouble.
 

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lol sometimes when people are angry with me.. it's weird but I find it amusing, and I get this involuntary smile in my face, I just can't help it, and it just makes them more aggressive. lol
Funny what a little grin could do in these kinds of situations.
 

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I've had to approach teachers who've seemed bothered and explained... "That's just what I look like when I think."
I totally agree with this. It's even worse if I am thinking about something else or an earlier part of a discussion. For instance, I could be mulling over something funny and smile while someone (usually an extrovert I've spent awhile listening to) is trying to make a serious point or tell me someone in their family is dying... it's great *sigh*. They usually don't believe I was thinking about something unrelated because typically I'm a good listener.
 
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Hrmm, I really don't know. Not enough feedback I guess. lol.
 

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Yeah, I've gotten feedback for looking like this too much-----:mellow:

Outwardly expressing body language takes a very conscious effort for me. A voice inside my head usually has to say, "It is appropriate to smile now."

I've written about it a lot, and I do think that I "should" express it. I just wish I naturally did it. If I'm not extremely happy or extremely sad, it's more natural to have a poker face, which would make some people think that I'm sad because I'm "not smiling". :mellow:
 

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I'm as transparent as a fish bowl. Funny thing is, this can get me into all kinds of trouble: anywhere from people immediately reading my "I don't like this" knee-jerk reaction, to swearing I'm physically ill or depressed when I'm deep in thought.
 

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i definitely have this problem. all my emotions are written on my face, for everybody to read.
although, when feeling introverted or working through a new situation, i definitely revert to the glazed over Ni face.
that's probably the only time that i'm not as easy to read as a book.
gets me in trouble... i can't cover over my crazy emotions (Fe) to sort through later (Ti) because they're all over my face.:confused: lol.
 
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This happens to me all the time in a similar way. I blush when I get embarrassed, mad, or excited. not just a cute little bit of blush, my whole face goes bright red. Also, when I'm happy I smile, when I'm mad I frown, when I'm sad my face droops, every emotion I have is displayed over my face for everyone to read.
 

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Apparently I have a very expressive face. However, most of the time my expressions belie my thoughts because I have this vastly annoyed/angered/bored look on auto-pilot when I get distracted by something or become lost in thought--and not necessarily deep ones, at that.

Once I had my sister run up to me asking me what I was thinking about because I looked so serious, I told her, "I can't decide between cheeseburger or fried chicken for dinner."

Also, I always get in trouble when I give people blank stares because they are unnerving.
 

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I experience the same things as mentioned in several posts in this thread (even though some of them seem to contradict each other, both still happen to me). [warning: don't expect a conclusion in this post] At poker, it is difficult to read me because the times when I use certain expressions seems quite random to others. In public transport people sometimes ask me if I'm high (I've never been high), they sometimes look away quickly and a bit upset as if I have an angry look, they generally don't choose a seat within a 2 meter radius of me (this is less the case when I don't wear my warm/cozy/sizeable/quality [but also "tough/thug looking" Karl Kani] coat, which makes me less approachable, but it also keeps me warm during winter). When I'm doing something useful (for example helping at a conference) or when I'm casually walking around, people sometimes tell me that I walk very playfully or that I have a very friendly/welcoming smile. People also sometimes tell me that I often have a stoic (not expressing) look.
 

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I'm usually quite dead-pan. Once I had an ESTJ literally stare at my face to get any emotional clues. ESTJ:s, that's not the right way to go about it.

What does get me in trouble is my Ni, for making me draw connections and laugh at things which others don't see as funny.
 

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I couldn't pass this thread up. :)

I get in trouble for my expressions SO OFTEN!

My husband (ENTP) can't stand it when we're in the middle of a fight and he catches my lip curling or my nose flaring...or me scratching my face (accidentally!) with my middle finger...whoops.

When I was in school, I had countless times in which a friend or classmate would approach me in the hall and asked, very concerned, "Are you okay??" And I would reply, "Yes...I was just thinking."
Apparently my "deep in thought" face is very similar to a "something tragic has happened" face.

This also has really hurt me when I'm dealing with someone I despise.
i.e. I was in a fight with an inlaw (ESFJ) who was crying and carrying on, who saw the expression on my face (which, if it looked anything like it felt, came across as a "you have got to be f***ing kidding me") and proceeded to exclaim, "I'm sorry, do you have something to say???"
And I said, "NOPE."

:)

I guess that last one I kinda enjoy.
hehe
 

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I may be wrong, but I think (or maybe it's my Ni telling me this) that most INFJs just happen to have a face where it's usually sad because we're longing for something. Sometimes, a few of my friends (and most of my friends are sensors so they don't have very well-developed intuition) will look at me and ask, "What's wrong? Are you okay? Did something serious happen?" when I was really thinking about the future or philosophy or a question I want to find the answer to. I also think that intuitives in general are longing for something, because intuition is when we connect with our unconscious and our unconscious knows so much more than our conscious. We INFJs want to find out what's really going on in our unconscious but we are never able to find out what it is.

So maybe that's why we're sad. We are longing for something that we gain instantly. Even my high school teachers go, "Do you need to go to the guidance counselor? You look really sad."

Other times, when I'm trying to type other people based on their functions, I have a "piercing glare" which everyone gets intimidated by because I'm "looking through their soul" and I just happen to "know their innermost, dark secrets". I've been called names for that. And a lot of people have stereotyped me and ended up thinking that I hate them when I really don't because of my "piercing glare". After all, I'm just looking through your soul. Where's the harm in that? (And then it makes it even more sad because when people hate me for my "piercing glare", I want to understand why they think that the "piercing glare" is so scary).

Maybe it's just that I'm naive. I'm still a high school student, so I have a looooonnnnnggg way to go.
 

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I was helping my friend pick out a pair of glasses a few weeks ago. She could tell whether I liked them or not, based entirely on my facial expressions. I don't even feel my face move... it just happens. I can never hide my emotions, and I'm awful at lying.

Oh, and I can relate to a few of the posts above me. People often ask me if there's something wrong. Apparently I look very sad sometimes. Last week one of my professors said to me, "Don't look so depressed!". I think it's because I often stare downward -- I'm not actually sad or depressed.
 

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Hmm.. I either show my thoughts way too much with my face expressions or I keep a very straight serious face usually when I'm analyzing others.
 
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