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This is an odd thing to describe, and my subject may not be adequate. While reading this, please note that I am not talking about multiple personalities (I don't believe so, anyway). I am curious if anyone else can relate to this.
I find that I subconsciously follow conflicting agendas/convictions.
For example, I am looking up ways to furnish my "living room" in my apartment. I made a blueprint of the floorspace, and end up placing a couch next to a pile of unpacked boxes. The couch, and researching ways to furnish, is a sign of nesting; all the while the unpacked boxes are a sign of the exact opposite.
Another example is a couple folders I have on my computer. One folder is research on how to improve my life and health, the other is a folder with information about getting my affairs in order. These are contradictory agendas/convictions. One is focused on enriching and extending my life, one is focused on wrapping it up.
I honestly feel like I am more than 1 person, just not multiple personalities if that makes sense. Like each person has their own agenda. Like my life is a ship and I have several people fighting to navigate.
Now as an observer, I also take time to observe this circus and how contradictory it is. Just curious if anyone else does this.
I find that I subconsciously follow conflicting agendas/convictions.
For example, I am looking up ways to furnish my "living room" in my apartment. I made a blueprint of the floorspace, and end up placing a couch next to a pile of unpacked boxes. The couch, and researching ways to furnish, is a sign of nesting; all the while the unpacked boxes are a sign of the exact opposite.
Another example is a couple folders I have on my computer. One folder is research on how to improve my life and health, the other is a folder with information about getting my affairs in order. These are contradictory agendas/convictions. One is focused on enriching and extending my life, one is focused on wrapping it up.
I honestly feel like I am more than 1 person, just not multiple personalities if that makes sense. Like each person has their own agenda. Like my life is a ship and I have several people fighting to navigate.
Now as an observer, I also take time to observe this circus and how contradictory it is. Just curious if anyone else does this.