(this is a rant, SORRY!)
I don't know about you guys, but as an INFP I feel a little "cursed". I don't WANT to feel this way, and I know there are all sorts of wonderful aspects of being an INFP...
but I do feel like some of us have a serious disadvantage when it comes to being happy. I see other people that go around giggling all the time, and even when they're heartbroken they can still manage to interact with others and smile and laugh. But I feel like everything is just THAT much more difficult for me.
It could just be me and depression or anything i'm suffering from, but I've found that in recent years since i'm growing up and kindof "becoming myself", I feel really fragile. Being happy for me always seems a little fake or forced now, or it's incredibly fleeting, and when it does come I have to try REALLY HARD to get it. I can go long periods of time with people laughing and carrying on and telling myself and them that i'm happy... but when I look back, it always seems a little forced, a little frantic.
Is this really who i'm becoming - someone who is doomed to spend the rest of her life desperately clawing at happiness?! I want to be "normal" and just relax on a sunny beach for a few weeks and enjoy it, but I know i'd soon start overanalyzing everything and want to be away from people and have a weird muddled period where i'd be retreating into the darkness to read depressing books because that's "who i am now" or something... I feel like i'm starting to not like this personality.
And I can't help it.
I want to be carefree again, if I ever was.
Uh... is anyone out there even remotely relating to this?