Hey everyone, I am pleased to have the opportunity to be in this community. In reading through the threads here I am happy to find lots of like-minded individuals! I don't care what critics say about the MBTI, I think it's very accurate and useful.
On to my problem:
Foremost, I'd like to say that I am not having an issue simply making friends or being social. Furthermore, I am happy with my life and this isn't a deep problem I lose sleep over. However, it is a problem nonetheless, and anything I can do to improve my experience in life is important.
Essentially, in my whole (short 18 year) life, I have yet to find someone who deeply and truly understands me. By "understands", I don't mean sympathize, I mean empathize from personal experience. I believe my goals, desires, frustrations, and thoughts are uncommon with people in my age group, and for this reason, I'm an outsider whenever I don't apply a "social filter" to myself. Sometimes I feel alone and misunderstood in the world, and this belief is validated very often.
I've reflected on this quite a bit, and I feel I would be satisfied if I could simply find someone who is similar to me in my values, beliefs, and thoughts on a deep level. True empathy. When I read about the experiences of introverts or INTJs, even here, I feel a surprising amount of satisfaction - a lessening of loneliness. I have a yearning to experience this emotion more often and more strongly. The prospect of being able to sit down with someone much like myself and simply talk about our lives sounds incredibly appealing to me.
So, the solution? Well first, I think I'll try to get involved with more INTJ's, even here. But I'm looking for a more specific connection, because I am more than an INTJ, and thus can't relate to all things the stereotypical INTJ faces. So, I'm looking for advice as to how to find people like me with whom I can connect deeply. I've brainstormed up a few things myself, but all of them seem a little flawed.
I'll give a quick example: One thing I'm very interested in is personal development - I spend a lot of time trying to improve my life. I'd say the main goal in my life right now is simply "growth", the concept. So imagine I try to hang around people into personal development. However, I find that a lot of people into personal development are also into things such as "The Law of Attraction" (sketchy pseudoscience). Even if a growth-oriented person and I were to connect over personal development, in knowing that they believe in the Law of Attraction I would sense an instant disconnect with them and begin to feel lonely in my mind once more. You can imagine how frustrating this might be.
It has taken me quite a while to write this post; I've never voiced these feelings before. I apologize that it's not coherent and easy to read- I have a difficulty expressing myself when it comes to feelings and desires (perhaps a bit ironic).
Regardless, I pose the following questions: Has anyone found a successful way to find and connect with like-minded individuals without having to compromise/ignore significant parts of their own personality? What venues would you use (forums, clubs, IRC, etc)? And finally, does the feeling of loneliness in the world go away, or is it something all humans have to live with simply because we're all unique?
E: I go on to give more examples and elaborate in the first 5 paragraphs of my second post (read down a tiny bit). Can't post a hyperlink because I don't have 15 posts, sadly.
On to my problem:
Foremost, I'd like to say that I am not having an issue simply making friends or being social. Furthermore, I am happy with my life and this isn't a deep problem I lose sleep over. However, it is a problem nonetheless, and anything I can do to improve my experience in life is important.
Essentially, in my whole (short 18 year) life, I have yet to find someone who deeply and truly understands me. By "understands", I don't mean sympathize, I mean empathize from personal experience. I believe my goals, desires, frustrations, and thoughts are uncommon with people in my age group, and for this reason, I'm an outsider whenever I don't apply a "social filter" to myself. Sometimes I feel alone and misunderstood in the world, and this belief is validated very often.
I've reflected on this quite a bit, and I feel I would be satisfied if I could simply find someone who is similar to me in my values, beliefs, and thoughts on a deep level. True empathy. When I read about the experiences of introverts or INTJs, even here, I feel a surprising amount of satisfaction - a lessening of loneliness. I have a yearning to experience this emotion more often and more strongly. The prospect of being able to sit down with someone much like myself and simply talk about our lives sounds incredibly appealing to me.
So, the solution? Well first, I think I'll try to get involved with more INTJ's, even here. But I'm looking for a more specific connection, because I am more than an INTJ, and thus can't relate to all things the stereotypical INTJ faces. So, I'm looking for advice as to how to find people like me with whom I can connect deeply. I've brainstormed up a few things myself, but all of them seem a little flawed.
I'll give a quick example: One thing I'm very interested in is personal development - I spend a lot of time trying to improve my life. I'd say the main goal in my life right now is simply "growth", the concept. So imagine I try to hang around people into personal development. However, I find that a lot of people into personal development are also into things such as "The Law of Attraction" (sketchy pseudoscience). Even if a growth-oriented person and I were to connect over personal development, in knowing that they believe in the Law of Attraction I would sense an instant disconnect with them and begin to feel lonely in my mind once more. You can imagine how frustrating this might be.
It has taken me quite a while to write this post; I've never voiced these feelings before. I apologize that it's not coherent and easy to read- I have a difficulty expressing myself when it comes to feelings and desires (perhaps a bit ironic).
Regardless, I pose the following questions: Has anyone found a successful way to find and connect with like-minded individuals without having to compromise/ignore significant parts of their own personality? What venues would you use (forums, clubs, IRC, etc)? And finally, does the feeling of loneliness in the world go away, or is it something all humans have to live with simply because we're all unique?
E: I go on to give more examples and elaborate in the first 5 paragraphs of my second post (read down a tiny bit). Can't post a hyperlink because I don't have 15 posts, sadly.