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Have you loved an INFJ, ENFJ, ISTP, or ESTP?

  • Yes

    Votes: 5 83.3%
  • No

    Votes: 1 16.7%
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Carl Jung's theory of personality includes the concept of "shadows". Your shadow is that part of your psyche (self) that contains unconscious, unexpressed aspects of your personality that you either strongly dislike (negative shadow) or don't know you possess (positive shadow). Shadows grow in intensity inversely proportional to your knowledge of it—the less you know the denser it becomes. If you have a weak or ineffective ego, (center of consciousness that creates your identity) the shadow may muscle its way into prominence. People often project their shadow material onto someone else—viewing your husband as controlling when in fact you are the controlling partner; or viewing your husband as brilliant when in fact you are brilliant but almost completely unaware of it. You have to first claim your shadow to change it.

Projection occurs when rather than acknowledge or accept negative traits or positive virtues, your ego projects these onto other people. Falling in love occurs when you project your hidden, positive qualities onto another person. And when you vehemently dislike someone, whatever it is that drives you crazy about another person is likely to be a quality you possess. Projection offers you opportunities to recognize messages from your unconscious about who you really are.

Source: The Everything® Enneagram Book by Susan Reynolds

So basically if the concept of shadows is true it would be easier for us to fall in love with people who possess positive qualities within our shadows. This includes shadow cognitive functions. We use the functions Fi, Ne, Si, and Te. The four types that use the INFP shadow functions are INFJ, ENFJ, ISTP, and ESTP. I'm 16 years old and the only girl I've ever loved is an INFJ. And INFJ is in the list. Now how about you? Have you loved people of any of the four types mentioned above? Do tell!
 

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Whatever type has a lot of DRAMA in relationships, I just cannot have in my life. Husband is a steady, calm, almost stoic ISFJ. I had an on again off again relationship with the son of the owner's of a tavern I worked in, age 20 to 30, and pretty sure he was ISTJ -- possible ISTP. In high school I loved an ISFP..... Absolutely brilliant artist but he smoked too much pot and I ultimately saw him as just too stoopid and we ended up arguing too much.

I don't know about this shadow stuff, just because Jung says it is so, or Freud, or any famous psychologist, doesn't make it so in my book... But for husbands, boyfriends I don't need a lot of drama, very little extroversion and someone I respect or someone who will occasionally stand up to me. It's a fine line tho, because too much control coming my way and I'll resist.
 
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