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I've been called sexy alot, I don't know how that happen. All sexual fives please unite and let's discuss this 'innate' sensuality of ours.
I agree with this. There's a lot more to it than exclusively sexual (in the, uh, sexual sense) interaction. Everything I do is intense: my interests are intense, my friendships are intense. The friendships is actually where I struggle quite a bit. I crave intimacy in all of my relationships/interactions with other people, but I can't always have it because most people conflate the kind of intimacy and intensity that is my baseline with explicitly sexual interest, which I have for hardly anyone and certainly never for more than one person at a time.As much as people like to pat themselves on the back about this stuff, I really think it is misconstruing what Sx means to conflate it with sexuality. We crave emotional intimacy, energy, and stimulation from our environments. Sometimes, for some people that can be sexual in nature, but by no means always, nor even most of the time. I can say that I'd trade the extra attention for the emotional connection of one special person in a heartbeat.
I am way too awkward to be considered sexy.
YES. QFT.I agree with this. There's a lot more to it than exclusively sexual (in the, uh, sexual sense) interaction. Everything I do is intense: my interests are intense, my friendships are intense. The friendships is actually where I struggle quite a bit. I crave intimacy in all of my relationships/interactions with other people, but I can't always have it because most people conflate the kind of intimacy and intensity that is my baseline with explicitly sexual interest, which I have for hardly anyone and certainly never for more than one person at a time.
INTERESTING. When first meeting someone, does the intensity come from being anxious? You phrased it as if it wasn't possible to be calm, which made me think it might be a result of anxiety.Everything I do is intense too and it's hard for me to be light-hearted around people, especially if I don't know them that well.
No, it's that the intensity I usually bring to my relationships isn't appropriate for people I barely know. I can be light-hearted and make small talk around people I know well, but I don't do it ALL the time. For people you just met anything else is inappropriate and I have a hard time maintaining it for long periods of time.INTERESTING. When first meeting someone, does the intensity come from being anxious? You phrased it as if it wasn't possible to be calm, which made me think it might be a result of anxiety.
I see!! Yeah, I totally relate to that. Thanks.No, it's that the intensity I usually bring to my relationships isn't appropriate for people I barely know. I can be light-hearted and make small talk around people I know well, but I don't do it ALL the time. For people you just met anything else is inappropriate and I have a hard time maintaining it for long periods of time.