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I don't think I've ever been called sexy.
Intense, sensual, mysterious, but not sexy.
Sexy would mean that I'm 'trying' and I don't think I have ever.

Especially since I don't care to include, not into thinking about what it is a 'they' would want. I'm more into what it is I want.
 

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I am sx secondary, but I must be subconsciously emitting a nurturance pheromone that attracts (more often than not, unwanted) attention. It works like sensual healing. I have had a few on/off rebound relationships where I am pursued as a sort of primary caregiver, with the assumption that I will always be there to provide intimacy when life cuts them dry. I don’t. I am not a sexual wildfire that builds from a spark. More like a pond in the middle of nowhere. Occasionally, a parched wanderer will stumble across it, drink from it, bathe in it, indulge in it, and then leave a trail back to it in case of getting lost again. If I am not contained, I evaporate over time, and move on.
 

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I've been called sexy, which I don't really understand myself. I hate it. :]
I'm sx/sp and I guess that's my sp that makes me wanna hide under a rock when someone calls me sexy.
I've very flatly just said to people "I don't put out." or "I'm not going to have sex with you." or other inappropriate things just because I really don't want to get into any awkward unwanted flirting and really just want people to leave me alone sometimes.
 

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I've never been called 'sexy'. 'Handsome', 'mysterious', 'exotic', but never 'sexy'. Women definitely pursue me, though I've only been interested in a few.

As much as people like to pat themselves on the back about this stuff, I really think it is misconstruing what Sx means to conflate it with sexuality. We crave emotional intimacy, energy, and stimulation from our environments. Sometimes, for some people that can be sexual in nature, but by no means always, nor even most of the time. I can say that I'd trade the extra attention for the emotional connection of one special person in a heartbeat.
 

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As much as people like to pat themselves on the back about this stuff, I really think it is misconstruing what Sx means to conflate it with sexuality. We crave emotional intimacy, energy, and stimulation from our environments. Sometimes, for some people that can be sexual in nature, but by no means always, nor even most of the time. I can say that I'd trade the extra attention for the emotional connection of one special person in a heartbeat.
I agree with this. There's a lot more to it than exclusively sexual (in the, uh, sexual sense) interaction. Everything I do is intense: my interests are intense, my friendships are intense. The friendships is actually where I struggle quite a bit. I crave intimacy in all of my relationships/interactions with other people, but I can't always have it because most people conflate the kind of intimacy and intensity that is my baseline with explicitly sexual interest, which I have for hardly anyone and certainly never for more than one person at a time.

To answer the OP: I think that my instinctual variant is probably the personality classification I identify most with. I certainly relate to five descriptions and INTJ descriptions quite a bit as well, but more than anything else, this need for intimacy and intensity has always been an explicit part of my interaction with other people. In my experience, people tend to respond to that intensity either really well or not at all. There are a few people who occupy a kind of no man's land middle ground, but it's very uncommon. For the people who respond well to me, I have been told that they find me very "sexy", but as I mentioned before, I think that it is because many people automatically read emotional intimacy through a sexual or romantic lens. For what it's worth, I like being an sx variant -- obviously, I really value having these kinds of connections with other people.
 

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I'm sx type.

I've learned to apply my need for emotional intimacy into a spiritual direction. I wouldn't say that I've done this perfectly, but I've realized I can't satisfy this need through other people.

As for sexy or not... :) No, but I don't really care.
 
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I agree with this. There's a lot more to it than exclusively sexual (in the, uh, sexual sense) interaction. Everything I do is intense: my interests are intense, my friendships are intense. The friendships is actually where I struggle quite a bit. I crave intimacy in all of my relationships/interactions with other people, but I can't always have it because most people conflate the kind of intimacy and intensity that is my baseline with explicitly sexual interest, which I have for hardly anyone and certainly never for more than one person at a time.
YES. QFT.

Everything I do is intense too and it's hard for me to be light-hearted around people, especially if I don't know them that well.
 

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Everything I do is intense too and it's hard for me to be light-hearted around people, especially if I don't know them that well.
INTERESTING. When first meeting someone, does the intensity come from being anxious? You phrased it as if it wasn't possible to be calm, which made me think it might be a result of anxiety.
 

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INTERESTING. When first meeting someone, does the intensity come from being anxious? You phrased it as if it wasn't possible to be calm, which made me think it might be a result of anxiety.
No, it's that the intensity I usually bring to my relationships isn't appropriate for people I barely know. I can be light-hearted and make small talk around people I know well, but I don't do it ALL the time. For people you just met anything else is inappropriate and I have a hard time maintaining it for long periods of time.
 
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No, it's that the intensity I usually bring to my relationships isn't appropriate for people I barely know. I can be light-hearted and make small talk around people I know well, but I don't do it ALL the time. For people you just met anything else is inappropriate and I have a hard time maintaining it for long periods of time.
I see!! Yeah, I totally relate to that. Thanks.
 

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I find it kind of amusing and enjoyable although sometimes it can lead to some uncomfortable situations. For me being sexy is related to make others feels good about themselves in your presence and because of my nature, I excel at that. I am also alluring and kind of mysterious that causes intrigue. I tend to leave a deep impression in those that meet me and usually they never forget me, sadly I tend to delete people I haven't seen in a while >_>. I also can be very intense and passionate, fall into what I call Gung-ho mode where I give my all to what is currently my focus of interest. These qualities translates to charisma and what you said affect others greatly. I used it to nurture and guide others but like I said that can lead to misunderstandings :p.

I found this a long time ago and think that others might enjoy it too...can't remember the source XD:

All expressions of love are essentially sexual in their nature: a communication where one is being the other - where empathy is duplicated and understanding is complete. Sexual energy is therefore not limited to the physical act of sex alone. The energy of sex is sublimated as creative energy at any and every level you find yourself in the universe. Energy travels between positive and negative poles. Indeed, every ascent of consciousness is, in this sense, a sexual process. Sex and love are a fusion, a coming together of thought and feeling and body, the synthesis of masculine and feminine, and this is the essence of creativity. So any creative act is driven by this urge, at all levels of our being, to share pleasure and feeling - from the writing of a book to baking a cake, from designing a bridge to painting a picture, from a love affair to playing a musical instrument, from a discovery or invention to raising a beautiful family.

So as you can see been a sexual being is a good thing, if you canalize that energy into something you can do so many great things. Maybe that's the reason behind some of our intensity..maybe that's the sexual part of us speaking through our passions.
 
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