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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
What IS my type? (Long, Misinformed, Meandering Post Ahead!)

Hi,

So… this is my first time posting on Personality Cafe, and I was hoping you guys could help me type myself. Now I wasn't exactly sure how to go about explaining myself, but I've been reading quite a bit on cognitive functions, some type descriptions, the Enneagram and Socionics (very briefly). My main focus will be on cognitive functions (and whatever accurate or inaccurate info I have on them) so, yeah, bear with me, and I would appreciate your help on this…

(Warning: Endless, self-indulgent ramblings up ahead. Sorry in advance. Also... needs more editing...)

First of all, I’ll start with the Feeling function. I am very certain that I make most of my decisions based on personal values, but I’m not exactly sure if I’m an Introverted Feeler on an Extroverted one. For quite a while I was pretty sure of my Fi (and my INFP’ness in general), but lately I’m having doubts

Again, I would say that I’m probably an Introverted Feeler because I’m pretty self-absorbed most of the time (stereotypical much?) I concern myself more with how I feel towards a certain situation, person, etc,… And I can come off pretty cold and indifferent to others at times when I’m in that “reflective” state. Though I would say that I’m usually only indifferent to people who are up in my space, or people whose behavior/personal values I disapprove of, and am usually pretty welcoming of others.

Another reason why I consider myself to be an Fi is because I’m not easily swayed by other people opinions (although I am sensitive to criticism) or that affected by their expectations of me (again, stereotypes...) My desires come mostly from within, and I tend to trivialize others’ opinions (to a fault) on things I believe have value to me (although if someone offers a convincing explanation as to why I’m wrong, I would listen eagerly and attempt a compromise.)


So far a negative idea of what Fi is, I would say…

Now here are the reasons why I think I might be an Extroverted feeler:

First, while I would say I have a pretty strict personal moral code that I, kinda, associated with Fi, I would say my sense of right and wrong extends to a more universal/societal level, like for instance I would say something like, “you can’t do X because you’re being inconsiderate/might be hurting others etc,… In a sense I focus on how a certain action might hurt others rather than myself, and even when I make myself the focus I tend to assume that I’m not the only one this person is acting bad towards. I guess I see myself as a bit of a martyr, maybe even wanting certain people to lash out on me just so I can prove to them that their behavior in general is bad/indecent etc,… This also explains, I think, why I don’t tend to hold grudges for too long if someone hurt me. Sure, I’ll distance myself from the person (because I see his behavior as despicable, and don’t want to encourage it). But overall, I tend to see people as complicated, riddled with their own insecurities and whatnot, so I try not to hold it too much against them (subconsciously I still do :tongue:)

Another reason why I might be Fe (and don’t worry, it gets waaayyy shorter after I’m done with the Feeling function) is that my moods seem to change quite abruptly when I surround myself with people. Usually when I’m around people I don’t like much, I would feel awkward (but don’t we all?) and try to avoid their gaze. At the same time, when someone approaches me, and is in a happy mood, I’d usually become very happy as well (unless I'm in a really horrible mood that day), almost mimicking their emotion. Also, I have this knee-jerk reaction to smile to people, or be polite to them, just to… I don’t know keep steady relations with others and get on their good side, I guess…? Though often, I choose not to do it because I can’t exactly match their level of excitement in certain situations and it feels awkward…? I dunno :rolleyes:

Finally, I tend to use a sort of sarcastic/dark/surreal/a bit cutesy humor either to lighten things up or to avoid an unpleasant confrontation with people… sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, whatever (and I use self- deprecating humor to a fault as well, again, to avoid a confrontation of some kind?)


Sigh… now it gets shorter, I promise! :laughing:

Ne vs Ni…

Okay, so this too, I used to believe that I’m an Extroverted intuitive because I can be quite random at times (especially with my humor) and I enjoy brainstorming ideas a lot (which I later use for unfinished stories that I write), but I’m starting to believe that this is introverted Intuition at play. First of all, I don’t tend to see endless possibilities when observing the world around me. In fact, my perception of the world is pretty straightforward (people walk, cars speed by, children cry annoyingly in my ear, etc,…) Now I guess that would indicate some sensing function at work, but most of the time, I’m thinking about the future, picturing some (really, really vague) ideal that I need to work towards (not to mention I’m pretty abysmal when it comes to navigating in the present). Now again, this idea of moving towards a certain ideal, to me, seems Ni (correct me if I’m wrong) since I don’t like keeping my options open, rather I want to find that one thing that will define me (I’m not sure what it is though… leading a creative life? Finding people to connect with? Becoming wiser perhaps?) But whatever it is, possibilities to me are only a distraction, and when I see that I’m not moving towards said vague ideal, I become depressed, feel meaningless and become anxious regarding the future.

To summarize, Ne seems to me like expanding on one idea and reveling in the different possibilities that arise, while Ni seems like taking every possibility that arises and narrowing them down to a single goal/vision/whatever… I definitely see myself as the latter, which is why it’s hard for me to decide on my future goals (”I have sooo many options but nothing sounds right to me”)


Se vs Si


You’ll excuse me here because my understanding of both sensing and thinking functions is pretty unfounded. However I’ll do my best.

Now sensing… Yeah, I definitely feel that whether I’m an Si or Se, it’s most likely my inferior function. The thing is, if I understand both functions correctly, then I’m kind of inferior in both :laughing:

From my understanding, Si is concerned with comparing experiences to previous similar ones, and is more detail-oriented, while Se is concerned with taking in your surroundings in real time and and deciding what to do with that information afterward. Now I’m pretty bad with details (names (oh God..), dates, etc,…), but I’m also just bad at… not getting lost(?) I mean, there are times when I’m just wandering around, trying to find something, and it takes me waaaayy longer than it would most people. Also, because I’m in my head so often, I tend to bump into things, people, walls, I drop things often, and not notice much in general… And I often remember (too late) that I forgot something really, really important at home… so yeah…


Also, I often experience a sensory overload, where I’m kind of overwhelmed (when I do pay attention to things) with everything that’s in front of me (that’s a Se thing, right?) And while I don't think it's nerve-wrecking, I do tend to feel a bit uncomfortable in crowded situations, and they drain me quite a bit (Maybe just an introvert thing...)


Something else that would indicate poor Se/Si: I get really paranoid at times that some deadly tumor is growing somewhere deep in my body that I should definitely check. But I’m afraid of the doctors finding something so I just stay home and let it grow :laughing: (Now that I think about it, isn't this more of an Si+Ne thing, where I compare how my body usually is, and then come up with a billion reasons why there’s probably something wrong with it? Is it a tumor? Am I having a heart attack?!? Stroke?!? AGHHH!!!!)

*sigh…


Ti vs Te


Okay, final function… yay…

As I said, I’m gonna be really vague here since I'm still not sure how the functions play out. Now Te takes information from the outside world for the sake of efficiency and productivity. Well, I wouldn’t say I’m productive (although I am when I need to be or when it’s truly important) and I do tend to adhere to strict routines most of the time because otherwise I’ll start putting things off, procrastinating and feeling bad about myself. Also, when I was a kid I was very disorganized when it came to school (though it had to do with not caring about anything school-related—bullying, indifferent teachers all that stuff…) However, I do generally like organizing things just to avoid feeling cluttered.

But… I think I’m using Ti quite often as well (maybe I just don’t get it) I usually have the need to categorize experiences/people according to some principles that apply to the world (he’s X, they’re Y, I’m Z, etc…), even if I keep saying that a person’s individuality is his most important asset and tend to see others as people with their own identities, problems etc,… (sounds Fi'ish…)

However, I do have the tendency to correct people on logical mistakes (”X can’t possibly happen because that’s not how the world works!) But this too could be connected to my Fi more than Ti (My arguments gravitate more towards ethical problems rather than logical inconsistencies so it’s probably Fi at work…)

Finally, I’m often very skeptical about the things I know, and tend to be very self-conscious about making a mistake that would make me sound stupid [I've edited this post ten times and counting since I'd posted it here :dry:] I can’t help but feeling that this is also the reason why I prefer to keep most conversations pretty shallow even with my friends (although the occasional lecture pops up every now and then)



That’s all for the functions I guess. What else? Well, I generally have trouble connecting with people, sometimes envying others for making connections so easily. Though I do dislike the very ummm… unsubtle means by which people do it (at least where I work - people are pretty loud there.) I usually keep a distance from others, again, out of fear of both exposing my differences, and incompetence to others (who may also see me as weird because I have more obscure/academic interests which I shall not--for personal reasons--list here)


Enneagram wise, I’m not one hundred percent sure. I do identify with either 4w5/3 or 9w1. I do lack the seriousness of 5’s (at least when I’m in a group of people I like - then I act either friendly or high) but I do notice that when I’m alone or with a group I don’t identify with, I would become very quiet, restrained and observant. Also, besides shame (4’s) of not living up to a certain idealized self or lacking significance, I do feel like my second motivator is fear of feeling incompetent (whether in social situations/knowledge etc,…) I would say I identify with 9’s to a certain extent as well, but I rarely avoid doing things because I think it’ll hurt someone, rather, as I said, I just feel incompetent/lacking…) Also, I don’t numb my emotions like 9’s to avoid feeling them, because I think emotions are what makes us human, and experiencing strong emotions (whether negative or positive) is something I cherish…



I do identify a bit with 1’s desire to strive towards an ideal (with regards to right and wrong especially) but I don’t feel the need to lecture people on it, and, again, my primary concern is that people should show their individuality, and fulfill their own unique potential (4’s). At times I also feel like I’m a wing 3 because I’m too… I don’t know… optimistic (?) for a five? :tongue: Though I’m not that achievement oriented (more concerned with regretting having done nothing because I’m in my head all the time, than trying to achieve things unrelated to what I want as a means of compensation… what?)




Finally (I promise!) a brief encounter with Socionics lead me to believe I’m IEI (which correlates with INFJ, I guess…) I especially identify with wanting to either seem elegant/graceful at times, and stoned on LSD the other (depending on my mood mostly :tongue:) come to think of it, the Socionics Best INFp Guide Ever Written post (sorry, can't post link) describes me pretty well I would say...

But then, also the EII one… agghh!!! ***k ME!!!!

So what am I? Mostly I score INFP… other times INTP… less often I score ISFP or INFJ… so which am I? Thank you! And may Kanye West be with you! (I’m an idiot…)

P.S. I appologize for this long and tedious rant, but I would really, really (x1000) appriaciate if you could help me out, guys! :proud:
 

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So I think you're either Fi-Ne-Si-Te (INFP) or Ne-Ti-Fe-Si (ENTP). My main issue with typing you is figuring out if you are using Fi or Ti and at what length. If you filled out one of the questionnaires, maybe it would help? The questions are formulated to pick your brain and test out actual function use?
 

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A lot of what OP has written I feel like I could say myself, like I feel like I can relate to your thought pattern in this post or see it or something. You could be an INFJ from what you have written, I think. I'm not experienced in typing others really, but my initial impression is INFJ.
 

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A lot of what OP has written I feel like I could say myself, like I feel like I can relate to your thought pattern in this post or see it or something. You could be an INFJ from what you have written, I think. I'm not experienced in typing others really, but my initial impression is INFJ.
Haha I guess that's Fe (you relating to what he's written) vs. Te (my more objective take). I'm not seeing a lot of Fe in his post, though? I definitely could be wrong, like I said, I think a questionnaire would help with function identification immensely.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
So I think you're either Fi-Ne-Si-Te (INFP) or Ne-Ti-Fe-Si (ENTP). My main issue with typing you is figuring out if you are using Fi or Ti and at what length. If you filled out one of the questionnaires, maybe it would help? The questions are formulated to pick your brain and test out actual function use?
Yeah, I figured that what I had written was a bit too general and lacking in real life examples. I already found a decent enough questionnaire, but I'll probably do it tomorrow since, well, it's kinda late. Thanks anyway!

A lot of what OP has written I feel like I could say myself, like I feel like I can relate to your thought pattern in this post or see it or something. You could be an INFJ from what you have written, I think. I'm not experienced in typing others really, but my initial impression is INFJ.
Could be. But it seems plenty of people want to be typed as INFJs so I'd rather not jump to conclusions yet :)
 

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Haha I guess that's Fe (you relating to what he's written) vs. Te (my more objective take). I'm not seeing a lot of Fe in his post, though? I definitely could be wrong, like I said, I think a questionnaire would help with function identification immensely.
I agree that would help a lot.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
But really, it's not the Fi vs Fe part that bothers me, but rather the iNtuition function. I don't know, I guess I don't relate much to Ne, as I prefer closure in everything I do, and multiple/alternative possibilities (especially with regards to the future) just seem like obstacles for me to overcome to find that one perfect ideal/thing that defines me (that one career/ that one relationship etc,...)

(Again, I'm being pretty vague. I'm sure the questionnaire will help...)
 

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Could be. But it seems plenty of people want to be typed as INFJs so I'd rather not jump to conclusions yet :)
Not saying that you should! Do you care that people might judge you if you were to claim to be INFJ and they thought you were something different?

I apologize if you had been looking for more detailed answers and mine had not met your expectations, but I had just happened to read through the whole thing, had that impression, and thought I'd let ya know. Good luck in your ponderings!
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Not saying that you should! Do you care that people might judge you if you were to claim to be INFJ and they thought you were something different?
No, of course I don't care. The typing is purely for me to understand myself, and it's none of anybody's business if I am INFJ or not.

I apologize if you had been looking for more detailed answers and mine had not met your expectations, but I had just happened to read through the whole thing, had that impression, and thought I'd let ya know. Good luck in your ponderings!
Nah, I have no expectations :tongue: (man, these smileys are gay...) Anything that helps me understand myself better is good enough for me. Thanks, rambleonrose!
 

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But really, it's not the Fi vs Fe part that bothers me, but rather the iNtuition function. I don't know, I guess I don't relate much to Ne, as I prefer closure in everything I do, and multiple/alternative possibilities (especially with regards to the future) just seem like obstacles for me to overcome to find that one perfect ideal/thing that defines me (that one career/ that one relationship etc,...)

(Again, I'm being pretty vague. I'm sure the questionnaire will help...)
That sounds like a lower, annoying Ne to me? Maybe? The same thing I deal with as an ESTJ. Ne doesn't quite make sense to me when it surfaces and sometimes it's frustrating in that it seems to deter my Te from acting. You could just have conflicting goals and cognitive functions, which some people do. So you could be INFP and just not love that part of your personality in that it makes choices hard.

Or, you could totally be using Ni. I do pretty much think you use Fi, though.
 

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Discussion Starter #11 (Edited)
Hi, guys!

So I found a questionnaire that I've completed just now. If any of you could take a look, I'll love you forever (but try hugging me and I WILL stab you repeatedly in the eye :happy:)

Also if Simpson17866 is reading this, I apologize for the comment yesterday (can't P.M.)

Anyway... here's the questionnaire and my answers:

0. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.

I wouldn't say there are any serious problems with me, per say. I guess I'm in a somewhat hazy period in my life where I'm not sure of what I am, or what I'm destined (for a lack of a better word) to be. I do tend to become depressed quite often when thinking about the future and its implications. But right now? Nah, I'm okay.

1. Click on this link: Flickr: Explore! Look at the random photo for about 30 seconds. Copy and paste it here, and write about your impression of it.


flickr.com/photos/ogawasan/20663895712/in/explore-2015-08-18/ (can't post pic)

The colors are kind of unsettling. Almost looks like a kind of hell, perhaps? Or maybe the subconscious mind of a depressed/melancholic person? I imagine hearing wailing in the distance (a very hollow kind of crying, I guess?), wolves howling, crickets echoing in the background. But somehow, I still imagine the place to be without sound, except maybe the waves rustling quietly? I don't know, the whole place just seems... both haunting and calm in a way. The mist kind of gives off a Silent Hill-ish vibe, I guess... Anyways! A haunting picture, I like it. Very moody. Now give me a break!!

2. You are with a group of people in a car, heading to a different town to see your favourite band/artist/musician. Suddenly, the car breaks down for an unknown reason in the middle of nowhere. What are your initial thoughts? What are your outward reactions?

My initial thoughts would be that it just had to happen. I'll probably find it kind of amusing that this sort of thing would happen to us in the first place, probably blaming some invisible, powerful force from above (Fate? Whatever I'm agnostic in general). Still it would kind of suck to be honest (Of course, the situation is highly improbable since my friends would rather eat themselves than have to go to one of my favorite bands' concerts... Oh well, whatch'ya gonna do? :happy:

My outward reaction would probably be sulking, a lot of disappointed exhaling. I'll probably lose my spirits since I'm sure we'll be late (I tend to think that any minor bad/good thing that happens would dictate the rest of the event.) Then my friends will start arguing about what we should do, while I sit and watch as it all descends to chaos. Eventually, (I believe) my thinking function kicks in, and I'll start asserting myself and taking action, hoping my input will solve things (usually doesn't...)

3. You somehow make it to the concert. The driver wants to go to the afterparty that was announced (and assure you they won't drink so they can drive back later). How do you feel about this party? What do you do?

I'll probably feel that the party would be redundant, since I'll be entirely drained from the concert itself. I'm not really a party guy, but I'll still reluctantly follow them, and, taking a quick glance at what it's all about, I'll exhale again, before going back to the car, waiting for them to finish (probably reading something online, or with my e-reader since I probably took it with me :tongue:)

4. On the drive back, your friends are talking. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward reaction? What do you outwardly say?

My inward reaction (assuming I'm not too tired) would probably be frustration since that friend's (I know who I'm talking about) claims are usually pretty one-sided, superficial and lacking a proper foundation.

My outward reaction would be saying that the friend in question is too closed-minded, not seeing the bigger picture, or not thinking about the subject in a thorough manner. Of course, it won't be long before I decide to shrug it off since there's no talking him out of it (Again, I'm referring to someone specific)

Also immediately after he makes his claim, I'll do that thing where you roll your eyes up and make a sort of disapproving click with your tongue... I don't know...

5. What would you do if you actually saw/experienced something that clashes with your previous beliefs, experiences, and habits?

I'll start brooding excessively and, if it's a belief I held onto for a long time, I'll probably succumb to depression, shutting most people off, until I come to terms with the new belief and either accept it into my system, or undermine the importance of the new belief, going on to live in denial for eternity (though it's most likely the former...)

6. What are some of your most important values? How did you come about determining them? How can they change?

I guess I want everyone to be honest and true to themselves. I think we filter ourselves a bit too much in order to fit into societies' expectations. I'm not saying everyone should start acting however they please, but, rather, people should look more within themselves to realize what they truly want, without the weight of society bringing them down (I know that, at times, this goal is a bit unrealistic, but I generally do believe that people can liberate themselves from outside expectations once they develop a certain mindset)

I would also say that open-mindedness is important, reading between the lines rather than simply observing what's on the surface (especially with regards to people) because the thing is, I kind of see everyone as having two sides to them - one is the public persona, and the other side is their true/authentic self. And while two, at times, blend with each other, people are often too concerned with the image that they project onto others, keeping their true self kind of hidden. This of course leads to people acting fake and phoney (something I deeply despise in others and, more so, in myself...)

I guess my values stems from feeling alien most of the time, and having trouble connecting with others. but at the same time, I don't really want to change that part of myself because it's, well, me...

7. a) What about your personality most distinguishes you from everyone else? b) If you could change one thing about you personality, what would it be? Why?

a) I guess I'm more sensitive than most people I know. I often find myself on the verge of tears, and sometimes from really minor things (just seeing others having a more difficult time than me could upset me quite a bit, more so homeless people on the street [though I'm not always inclined to give them money since a) I'm don't always have money to spare and b) I think they'll waste it on something bad...] or wounded strays...)

Also—and this is probably more of a workplace thing—but I just have more academic/humanitarian (?) interests compared to others? People I work with (a cafe) seem to enjoy more physical activities like sports, talking about the latest events, going out drinking (I need a drink now...), when I'm more interested in how people think/behave (Wow, really?!), daydreaming, attempting to think of ideas for stories to write. And I enjoy weird things for some reason (challenging music, disturbing/sad movies, surrealistic art, anything like that... )


b) If I could change one thing about me it would definitely be my reluctance to take action when needed. I often think of a million reasons why I shouldn't do something, and it depresses me afterward because I know deep down that I'm over-exaggerating the consequences of my actions. So yeah, taking action and ceasing opportunities makes me anxious.

Also there's the whole thing of tending to not repeat mistakes or avoiding experiences that disappointed me or caused me harm in the past.

I guess getting over these problems would enrich my life in a way, and I wouldn't feel empty sometimes...

8. How do you treat hunches or gut feelings? In what situations are they most often triggered?

Hunches and gut feelings? I'm not sure. I guess I get “gut feelings” when I believe there's an opportunity that I should take (asking a girl out, going to an event...), or when I think others are treating me badly or laughing at me behind my back/taking me for granted.

I usually do tend to restrain myself when it comes to acting on my “gut feelings” when it comes to opportunities, again, out of fear that it won't work out, or I'll look like an idiot. But when people treat me badly? Well, I usually don't let people treat me too badly since I've been bullied quite a lot back in school, and I'll do everything in my power to stop history from repeating itself :) Eventually I will confront the person if he's acting like a major prick. But I guess even before that, when it's just small annoyances, I'll already start developing a sort of dislike for the person who's doing it (which I express with by either being quiet around that person or giving him “a look”)

9. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?

9. Can the thing that energizes me be also what drains me? Usually when I interact with people that I like (my friends mostly), I do tend to feel energized and pretty lively (sometimes they say I can appear hyper when I'm excited about something or that I start acting high and saying random, weird stuff.) But towards the end (or maybe even half-way through), I tend to become withdrawn, have a hard time thinking of what to say, and just wanting to go home and fall asleep or something along those lines...

Of course, I enjoy reading (especially if there's something insightful to gain from it), watching movies, but I wouldn't say these things energizes me. More like a sense of umm... inner peace? Tranquility? Often (especially when watching a movie) I even feel like I should be doing something else, like interacting with friends, going out, or reading something instead... :-/

I would say, though, that taking walks alone in the evening while listening to music tends to energize me and put me in an emotional (happy or sad depending on the music) mood. I do feel “alive” when I do this, and the music in a way begins to blend with reality, as I walk and I imagine I'm in some weird alternate universe or something (especially love listening to GY!BE while walking down empty streets - makes me feel like I'm exploring a wasteland or something :happy:)

10. What do you repress about your outward behavior or internal thought process when around others? Why?

Internally, I guess I sometimes repress my dislike of others. I have this idea that people who don't align with my values/ideals are just “in the way” I guess? I know it sounds messed up, and it's not that I want to hurt people (I don't resent anyone or anything like that...) but I wish sometimes that certain people would just disappear. I'm really not sure...

Externally, I guess I don't let people know how I feel about them often. And if they say or do something that I disapprove of, I probably won't tell them to spare their feelings (I need to be in a very, very bad mood to before I harshly start criticizing people. Especially since I believe I'm not exempt from criticism myself...) Also, there are times when telling someone exactly what I think of them is not worth the consequences (my boss, for instance.)

I also repress telling someone I have feeling for them. I'll usually have a hard time telling them not because I'm afraid they'll be angry with me or ridicule me. But rather, if it's someone I really like, then I'll already start picturing us together, and convincing myself that, in the long-term, we'll disappoint each other, or we'll find that we don't connect, or are too different for each other...

Okay, so that's it, I guess... I don't usually reveal that much about myself to anyone so this is TMI as far as I'm concerned. But whatever. Hopefully it's enough to disclose my type (+enneagram?). Thanks everybody, and I appreciate your help on this.
 

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Ok...first, hi :)

I used to have real difficulty with INFP vs INFJ, but I've sorta got a handle on it now, so let me ask you some questions if I may, to try and help...

1. What's your relationship with emotions? Can you identify your main emotions in this moment and why you feel this way?
2. How well-formed is your belief system? Does your problem tend to be that you cling to opinions too much or shed them too easily? (I don't mean in public)
3. Which would be harder for you to imagine? Which of these would make you feel dissociated? Letting go of your intense emotional landscape, or letting go of your internal storyteller, your daydreams?
4. When you have ideas, do you play with them in your head just because they're there, and build a mental archive, or do you feel the need to do something with them/share them externally?
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Hi PoloniumCyanide,

I'm gonna have to answer your questions some other time since I'm off to work, but I appreciate the extra questions. I'm actually leaning more towards INFP, but we'll see :proud:
 

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I think you're right, though I look forward to your response :)

Let me give you a little insight into my experience as an INFJ.

-I can't tell you how I'm feeling unless I REALLY think about it. It takes a lot of energy for me to figure out my own motivations/emotional states, BUT I can get a good idea how others feel, what they want, what their hang-ups are and how that translates into behaviour.

I dislike my own intense emotions because I strive to take myself out of a situation. My emotions a lot of the time don't provide me with useful data, they're hormone based.

I do not feel my emotions until they come up in conversation, or someone draws them out. Example: When my grandma passed away, my main concern was that my aunt and my dad had just lost their mum, they were dealing with it in different ways, and I could envisage a moment where they came to blows, because my dad's very confrontational by nature, and my aunt is fatalistic even in her brightest, sunniest moments,and they were grating on each other. I loved my grandma, I felt guilty because I couldn't cry.I thought 'why can't I cry? I should feel sad now, am I really such a cold-hearted b**** that I can't even mourn my grandma?' The first time I really cried was at the funeral because of the atmosphere. I wept hard, and it was embarrassing because I was loud and it felt inappropriate. Afterwords I felt bad because I had planned to be strong.

-My beliefs are constantly open to change, so to an Fi, like my ENFP father I likely seem fickle and cold at times, I've been accused of taking the passion out of an argument and reducing it to logic, whereas his beliefs define him, to attack his beliefs is to attack his sense of self .

Ni-Ti means I'm an archiver of ideas, but I'm not emotionally attached to any of them. I store them for a LONG time, tinkering so that they're well formed and rational, then, when I'm ready Fe kicks in and allows me to share them warmly, I take critical feedback from others, then internally tinker with them again taking in to account the new info from my group.

My relationship with ideas is so intense that if I woke up one day and my internal imaginings and years of N archives were gone, I'd feel like I wasn't me.

I would need some more INFJs to (in)validate and add to this for you, but these are my experiences of being a high Ti INFJ. Hope they help.
 

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Discussion Starter #15 (Edited)
Hi,

For some weird reason my account got deleted so I had to make a new one (still kept the stupid name though :tongue:)

Anyway, I finally got the chance to answer your questions, PoloniumCyanide, what do you (or others) think?

1. What's your relationship with emotions? Can you identify your main emotions in this moment and why you feel this way?

My emotions at the moment? I would say that I'm both relaxed and at the same time, kind of longing, perhaps? A kind of heaviness inside. I can't pin point the exact reason, though I think it has to do with believing that I'm not living life to the fullest, wasting each second by being passive and 'in my head'? At the same time, though, knowing that I'm exaggerating and knowing that I have the capacity to achieve whatever I want.

Now, my relationship with my emotions? I suppose they make me feel “human” in a way? :tongue: Sometimes, my negative emotions can overwhelm me, and my positive emotions can ditch me (Though that's probably my coming and going depression talking) But whatever emotion I feel, to me, is more of a “wake up call” to reflect upon a situation (For instance, if I'm depressed, I always try to pinpoint the reason for said depression and try 'fixing myself? Or if it's a positive emotion, I try understanding how to replicate the emotion in a way, maybe?)


2. How well-formed is your belief system? Does your problem tend to be that you cling to opinions too much or shed them too easily? (I don't mean in public)

I'm not totally convinced I even have a 'belief system'. I know some things must be a certain way (some behavior should be upheld, other should be avoided...) and I do believe that we have the right (however futile) to strive for something bigger than ourselves. But again, those are all pretty vague beliefs, and it's not impossible to convince me of an outside opinion (provided it's well thought-out and still aligns with my morals regarding human decency). Even with regards to careers. I don't know, one second I want to be a graphic/software designer, the next a teacher, then a psychologist/counselor (yes, yes how very stereotypical INFP/INFJ bla-bla-bla!) and while I would say there's a common thread there of helping others and, or, working with ideas for the benefit of others (Fe?) the jobs are fundamentally different. I think.

I do have this nagging belief that I should be able to showcase my inner world through some artistic medium. I dabbled in music, drawings, but I guess writing is what allows me to express my ideas to their full potential (that is, until I start making high budget movies with the full artistic freedom that I need. kidding. :tongue:)

Also, I do think I should be able to help people/inspire them somehow through my career. Just, again, not really sure how...


3. Which would be harder for you to imagine? Which of these would make you feel dissociated? Letting go of your intense emotional landscape, or letting go of your internal storyteller, your daydreams?

While I did say that strong emotions are something I crave, I do admit that at times I feel a bit overwhelmed? (especially by negative emotions). Truth be told, I think emotions are, well, not exactly meaningless in and out themselves but superficial if you can't reflect upon them in a way (Is this the internal storyteller you speak of?) And while I yearn for strong emotions, I think it's my inner monologue and my day dreams that dictate how I should act (to a fault sometimes), or maybe even lets me envision an idealized future that I attempt to strive towards? As I said, emotions to me are kind of meaningless unless I can reflect upon them. That's all I guess...

4. When you have ideas, do you play with them in your head just because they're there, and build a mental archive, or do you feel the need to do something with them/share them externally?

I know I store my ideas somewhere in my mind subconsciously. I don't think, however, that I'm just capable of “playing with ideas” in my head for no reason since I'm not that imaginative. :tongue: But whenever I have an idea, I always feel the need to take that idea home, expand upon it, maybe creating a story (or anything with an emotional context to it)? An idea intrigues me, and I start thinking about all the ways I can, again, expand upon it. But I always feel the need to do something practical about it, or it'll just lose its value, or eat away at my brain until I get it out on paper or something. Again, ideas are just ideas – I don't think I get emotionally attached to them, more to the potential of the idea to morph into something bigger and applicable in real life.

That's it. The answers are, as usual, kind of vague, but hopefully they help. Thanks
 

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Discussion Starter #16 (Edited)
Another thing regarding emotions...

While I do keep my emotions within, I often feel the need to share my emotions with others, and if I don't get a chance to do it, I'll feel abandoned/alienated etc,... Not to mention, I have a rather difficult time not letting emotions emerge on the surface. For instance, at work someone hurt my feelings not too long ago (or rather, I felt my co-workers were disappointed with me - my (female) boss in particular, who was red-eyed from being fed up with my getting-lost-in-thoughts and not paying attention thing... Actually made my boss cry, dammit :confused: ), but I had a hard time not showing it. I was actually holding back tears, myself, and it was especially awkward since I was the cashier that day... :dry:

Someone needs to take my man card away from me ASAP...
 

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You're definitely a Fi-dom in my eyes. :p I'm not too sure but I think Ne is your auxiliary function instead of Se since you said you like to expand on ideas and are hesitant to seize opportunities.

So I'd say you're INFP. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #18
No, I never said Se is my auxiliary function. I said it was probably my inferior function. But yeah, INFP sounds about right. Except that, maybe I tend to prefer closure to keeping my options open.

Ehh... probably just deluding myself :)

Thanks Pikazoid!
 

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No, I never said Se is my auxiliary function. I said it was probably my inferior function. But yeah, INFP sounds about right. Except that, maybe I tend to prefer closure to keeping my options open.

Ehh... probably just deluding myself :)

Thanks Pikazoid!
I am an INFJ, and I don't prefer closure, I often SEEM to prematurely close because things need boxing or I'll never move forward.

Dominant Ni says 'HEY! We're still building archives here, this is NOT over."
I'm like: "Dude, this restless mood state is not useful, we shall speak further later."
Outwardly: NOPE...decision = made.

Probably Ni looks like it's closed down on an issue because it boxes things to analyse later.
 
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