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Hello, been interested in keirsey temperaments for a long time- first time poster! Sending out this request. (People with ENFJ experience are more than welcome to chuck in their two cents as well)

Would you guys like to help me analyse whether my enfj male is just being his usual flirty self or is he looking for something more?

- He creates situations where I alone with him for long periods of time. (group road trips that take 3 hrs to get there, nominates himself as the driver, random day trips were we are alone, random movie nights alone)
- Jokes about the future, ring, marriage, kids, pets.
- Every now and then he will confide in me when he's upset or angry or confused about something.
- Likes to check in on me and provide guidance and advice on certain aspects of my life.
- Likes to tease me but also is sweet, has used adjectives such as "cute" "adorable" to describe something I've done etc.
- Not much direct eye contact from him, if anything he makes it a point to not look at me. But I catch him taking quick side glances with small smiles thrown in.
- Kissed me once when he was drunk

We get along fairly well. We play bicker but are also able to sit down and have serious conversations. Having said that we're not that close, a lot of him remains a mystery to me! We're not in contact with each other on a daily basis. But when we're together I feel that we're close, but also nervous and excited and calm(?) I feel that I am a lot quieter around him, so not my usual ENFP self.

I know he's nice to everyone, and you ENFJ's are generally flirts, and he probably has a couple of girl friends on hand that he's sweet to. But is there any extra intent behind all this *waves hands around*? Am I over analysing this? :rolleyes:
 

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Would you guys like to help me analyse whether my enfj male is just being his usual flirty self or is he looking for something more?

- He creates situations where I alone with him for long periods of time. (group road trips that take 3 hrs to get there, nominates himself as the driver, random day trips were we are alone, random movie nights alone)
- Jokes about the future, ring, marriage, kids, pets.
- Every now and then he will confide in me when he's upset or angry or confused about something.
- Likes to check in on me and provide guidance and advice on certain aspects of my life.
- Likes to tease me but also is sweet, has used adjectives such as "cute" "adorable" to describe something I've done etc.
- Not much direct eye contact from him, if anything he makes it a point to not look at me. But I catch him taking quick side glances with small smiles thrown in.
- Kissed me once when he was drunk
Lol. What do you think? / Isn't it pretty obvious?
 

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Discussion Starter #3 (Edited)
haha if I knew for certain I wouldn't be feeling so messy inside.

I'm don't want to fall for him if he's treats all his close girl friends like that...maybe I'm not that special in his life. I know for certain though that he has many close female friends, some of which are flirts too. He doesnt seem to return the affection at the same level though all the time, remains polite and friendly sometimes and flirty at other times. Makes me pull up the walls a bit tbh. He seems to have pet names for everyone....Is this a typical enfj trait where you are capable of making someone feel entertained and valued? LOL I've been told that I've done that on ocassion, but it's the first time it's happened to me. Don't know what to do...

I'm unsure about the kiss though, we never talked much about it afterwards. We work together...
He said he regretted it, cause he didn't want to lose the rapport we had going AND I was dating someone at that time. But he knew the relationship was going steadily downhill....

SO it was either, hey I'm drunk, you're a girl, lets do this. or/ I wouldn't have the guts to do this sober. What would an enfj's rationale be behind that.

I just don't know whats the best way to know what he's actually feeling without directly asking him. Or is that what you enfj'ers actually prefer? So far I've been receptive towards his affections, trying to subtly tell him that 'hi I like you if you like me, I won't reject you if you want to ask me out'

What's the best way to approach an enfj in this situation? =/
I really like being around him, I'm entertaining the possibility of being in a relationship with him. But I like to consider all the possibilities before stepping through the door. Scared and uncertain.

Extremely apologetic if this is isn't coherent or contains silly questions....just letting my mind flow. I generally don't like revealing things. :(
 

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I apologize if this is a bit long, I am an NF after all :p

Would you guys like to help me analyse whether my enfj male is just being his usual flirty self or is he looking for something more?

- He creates situations where I alone with him for long periods of time. (group road trips that take 3 hrs to get there, nominates himself as the driver, random day trips were we are alone, random movie nights alone)
- Jokes about the future, ring, marriage, kids, pets.
- Every now and then he will confide in me when he's upset or angry or confused about something.
- Likes to check in on me and provide guidance and advice on certain aspects of my life.
- Likes to tease me but also is sweet, has used adjectives such as "cute" "adorable" to describe something I've done etc.
- Not much direct eye contact from him, if anything he makes it a point to not look at me. But I catch him taking quick side glances with small smiles thrown in.
- Kissed me once when he was drunk

I know he's nice to everyone, and you ENFJ's are generally flirts, and he probably has a couple of girl friends on hand that he's sweet to. But is there any extra intent behind all this *waves hands around*? Am I over analysing this? :rolleyes:
Wow, this sounds exactly like me with the girl I like, speaking from personal experience (I'm not sure if this counts for all ENFJs), I'm terrified to tell the person that I like that I like them. I met the girl I like in December last year. I only mustered up the courage to tell her how I feel in late August.
This was after everyone around me told me that they could see the sparks between us.
After she and I would send each other messages in excess of 1500 words about pretty much everything: philosophy politics, MBTI and just complete randomness (She's an INTJ, they only invest that much time in people they really like).
This was after many 'flirtatious' messages to me such as "it's always great to see you ;) "

I attended a weekly course at the university where she is studying (which is in a different city). So once a week I'd get a chance to meet her and spend an hour or more just in her company.
Earlier in the year, I invited her over to chill with me in the city where I live. The two of us spent 6 hours together just walking around, sitting down and sharing breakfast and lunch etc.
Although not with her, but with previous girls I've liked, I've joked about marriage etc before.

From what I can see, it really looks like he likes you, but he's just afraid to tell you. He might flirt with other girl friends more just to make it less obvious that he likes you.

I suggest that if you talk a lot about different things casually, start a conversation about what his views on relationships are.
You could share your own views, saying the type of guy that you like and then ask him what kind of girls that he likes.
If he gives an answer, you can ask him if there is such a girl that he knows that he likes and take it from there.
Or without explicitly stating that you like him, make him comfortable of the fact that he is likeable, and that you would like a guy like him. I often find that even though I like someone, I'll usually believe that there's someone better out there for them and not do anything about it.

The only reason I told the girl I liked her was because my friends told me that if I didn't tell her, she'd think I was leading her on. So I didn't want to hurt her feelings, and eventually I told her.

I hope this helps and that everything works out between you :happy:
 

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Hello, been interested in keirsey temperaments for a long time- first time poster! Sending out this request. (People with ENFJ experience are more than welcome to chuck in their two cents as well)

Would you guys like to help me analyse whether my enfj male is just being his usual flirty self or is he looking for something more?

- He creates situations where I alone with him for long periods of time. (group road trips that take 3 hrs to get there, nominates himself as the driver, random day trips were we are alone, random movie nights alone)
- Jokes about the future, ring, marriage, kids, pets.
- Every now and then he will confide in me when he's upset or angry or confused about something.
- Likes to check in on me and provide guidance and advice on certain aspects of my life.
- Likes to tease me but also is sweet, has used adjectives such as "cute" "adorable" to describe something I've done etc.
- Not much direct eye contact from him, if anything he makes it a point to not look at me. But I catch him taking quick side glances with small smiles thrown in.
- Kissed me once when he was drunk

We get along fairly well. We play bicker but are also able to sit down and have serious conversations. Having said that we're not that close, a lot of him remains a mystery to me! We're not in contact with each other on a daily basis. But when we're together I feel that we're close, but also nervous and excited and calm(?) I feel that I am a lot quieter around him, so not my usual ENFP self.

I know he's nice to everyone, and you ENFJ's are generally flirts, and he probably has a couple of girl friends on hand that he's sweet to. But is there any extra intent behind all this *waves hands around*? Am I over analysing this? :rolleyes:

I can't tell for sure just from your text but I can tell you how I would work similarly or not.

Creates situations where we're alone.. sure

Jokes and being playfull.. sure

confide when angry or confused.. no not if I am in to you but we aren't a couple, till then I only show my happy side

check in on and provide guidance.. well to some degree but I'm not trying to give you to many sincere advice before we're a couple unless you ask for it

tease and being sweet.. most definitly! but I also tease friends and can say they are cute in a playfull way, actually I act a lot similar to a girl I like initially that I do to friends but I have another look in my eyes and my body language probbably speak differenly. It's like I want you to feel like I might be interested in you but I don't want you to be sure yet so you get curious and want me to like you and making you having to show some interest back before I give you more etc.

not much eyecontact but with small glances.. this depends so much on the girl, if you are pretty shy and look down a lot and is afraid of looking me in the eye then I try to put you at ease by not staring at you but I still try to give you little glances of interest.


Also the time it takes to advance is very dependent on the girl, if she is outgoing it goes rather quickly while if she is rather shy or just afraid of getting into a relationship but is in to me and I am in to her we can keep this light flirting going on for months.


I think it is likely he is in to you but I can't say for sure.
 

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One of two reasons...

1)He likes you
2) He likes you, but...
a) He is afraid of moving too fast for you
b) He doesn't want to jeopardize what you already have
c) He's just waitin on your move guurrrrl

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