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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
So I've been aware of the basics of the Enneagram for a while now but only recently I've been thinking more about it and becoming confused because I've realised that when trying to type myself previously I've been too focused on behaviour and not underlying motivation. And so now I would like to ask for your help in finding my tritype/instinctual variants/whatever :) Apologies for the length but hey hopefully you find it interesting.

Prerequisites
What age range are you in?


I'm 19.

Any disorders or conditions we should know about?

Had a sort of mild depressive episode last year but I'm okay now. Nothing clinical.

Main Questions

1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.

My life is about whatever I end up doing with it. I'm only 19 and so far it hasn't been about too much.
I'm presently not very driven. There are things that I think need doing, mostly about how the world should be improved, how people should learn to understand each other more, etc. but regarding those things I don't really have the confidence that I could properly contribute. So I guess that at the moment, I recognise that I need to be able to accept that I can't change everything, and can only do very little with my own life in that regard. My purpose is to become wiser and put effort into doing what I can to help improve things, become a better person and more understanding of others, confidently and genuinely. The Serenity Prayer adequately sums up my goal:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,The courage to change the things I can,And the wisdom to know the difference.

But God, grant me the courage not to give up on what I think is right,
Even though I think it is hopeless.

2. What were you like as a kid?

I'm still just a kid. I wonder if I'll ever grow out of it. But I'll answer the question. I liked attention because I wanted approval, and still do. I did well in primary school with little effort and took too much pride in that. I was sometimes bossy and arrogant. I was often resentful of my parents when they didn't cater to my sensitivity, and I would cry and think about how they weren't doing things properly, how they didn't really express love in the way I would've wanted (FYI I think largely cultural - we're Chinese, and traditionally don't tend to be very emotionally expressive). For the most part, I think I was pretty carefree. But when I think about myself when I was younger, I usually just see the negatives.

3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?

There is resentment and lack of respect for them on my part when I consider a lot of their parenting decisions poor, or their decisions in a lot of general matters like the way they communicate or politics. For example, I'm gay and my mum considers homosexuality to be abnormal (not for religious reasons though, if that's relevant), but I'm not out to my parents and dread the day I will have to come out. However, I am less angry than when I was when I was younger and am trying to recognise what they have done for me as parents and to be less harsh, more patient and understanding. I do care for my parents.

We don't actually communicate much apart from the basics - I have an older sibling by 11 years and I'm also terrible with Chinese (they're not very fluent with English, my first language), so I don't really talk to them as much as what would be typical because they can just talk with my sibling and I'm afraid to try and talk about more serious stuff in much detail because my inadequacy in the language frustrates me and makes me want to avoid communication, though I know I should be motivated to improve.

4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?

I value honesty, not just in my communication with others but to myself about what kind of person I am and am not, and I want the same in others. So I guess honesty and authenticity.

I want to stop being lazy really, become less apathetic and indecisive. I am often afraid of not having all the information to make the best decisions in whatever circumstance and often then don't end up doing anything, or just dragging things back and putting them off. For example, currently I am in a bit of a pickle concerning what I should study at university, because what if I make the wrong choice? What if I look back 5 years from now while $50,000 in debt and unsatisfied with my career, filled with regret? What if there's something I could do better? What if most people feel like me but they just get on fine, and I'm making a big deal out of nothing? etc.

5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?

I was fearful of other people being 'smarter' than me, or playing music better than me. I was fearful of not being taken seriously and being ignored. Gradually over recent years I've come to a better understanding of how the world is and my place in it, and so I've become more comfortable and taking things my own pace. I don't think the insecurity, the what-ifs, ever completely disappear for anyone, but I'm looking forward to becoming more comfortable when I can understand how everything works.

6.
a.) How do you see yourself?

Moody, self-righteous, awkward, indecisive, romantic (not necessarily in the context of a relationship, more of a world-view), timid, optimistic (though it might seem a bit strange at this juncture).
b.) How do you want others to see you?
Interesting, understanding, mature, funny, warm-hearted, intelligent, wise, maybe somewhat melancholy with a general light-hearted touch? Haha just interesting I guess.
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people?
Willful ignorance, insincerity, close-mindedness, hubris.

7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others. 3/2
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you 2/3
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else. 1/2

However, on this point, I am constantly afraid that I'm just selfish and doing things mostly for attention, and not just because it's the right thing to do. It feels very confusing and somewhat paradoxical maybe..

8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?

What could be, what should be, what is, how I should think about things, how others should think about things, how I should think about how others think about and do things, etc. Maybe I should be more specific, but I don't think there's anything more you need to know for this question.

9.What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

Best (what makes me feel good): Seeing a positive change in myself and others. Feeling free and unburdened. I like helping others make progress. I like being understood by others. I like it when other people want to understand me.

Worst (what makes me feel bad): Realising I've been thoughtless/careless, either in my actions/opinions generally or actions towards others. Feeling worthless, being weighed down by the thought that I don't really have the ability to do anything well, feeling like I'm not making any progress.

10.
Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
a.) anger

I don't really get angry much anymore and when I do I try not to be angry because I've realised that it does nothing to help any situation whatsoever. Frustration though I do have often in response to things like social and political topics, politicians getting lost with their priorities, people getting lost in their self-indulgence, thoughtlessness etc.
b.) shame
When I realise that:
I'm not being honest about my own inadequacies, or I wasn't acting with care towards other people, I'm a hypocrite regarding my own standards.
c.) anxiety
This mainly comes up in response to my indecisiveness - see 4. And also in response to worries of never accomplishing my goal - see 1.

11.
Describe how you respond to the following:
a.) stress

When it comes to future events, I can generally formulate a pretty optimistic view of things, e.g. how I should/will respond to a situation and get rid of any potential sources of stress immediately that way, but then I just put it off until the event when I HAVE to worry about it, and, barely surviving, regret after the event that I didn't prepare properly. So no, I don't approach dealing with stress very well.
b.) negative unexpected change
I'm pretty optimistic and don't dwell. If it was just luck and no malice on anyone's part, it's easy to accept albeit with disappointment, even if the consequences are awful. Like oh well - what can you do?
c.) conflict
I don't break down when it comes to conflict, but I need resolution. If there is no resolution of any sort, it will be constantly nagging on my mind, because it feels like no progress has been made whatsoever.

12.
a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
I'm inclined to want to to tell others what to do if I believe it is the best way to do it, but I'm often not confident enough in my own abilities to actually direct people, and any advice I give would be laced with phrases like 'I'm not sure' or 'maybe it'd be good if..' or 'but it's up to you'. It's because I don't want others to think I'm too controlling or inconsiderate, and I don't want to screw things up.
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?
I will usually act with trepidation and uncertainty if I think I can't make a good decision.
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?
As long as I think I'm being treated fairly considering my own abilities, there shouldn't be a problem if there is basic courtesy and respect. I'd have a problem if I was being ignored or my concerns weren't taken seriously.

13.
What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
It's hard to say since I don't know how most people are and I don't consider myself to be particularly perceptive. I can sometimes be aware of other people's sensitivities and concerns they may have but not express, but on the other hand I also think that sometimes it's just projection and I wonder if the problems I think other people have are there at all, that it's not just me.

14.
Comment on your relationship with trust.
I haven't really thought of myself as particularly suspicious of other people. I'm generally optimistic about other people, and consider myself to be realistic in my optimism. My biggest personal problem with trust would be that I'm afraid of opening up to people, like my friends about my feelings without putting a light-hearted spin on everything because I don't trust that they wouldn't run away from the intensity. Also I don't want people to hold back what they think of me or my ideas because they're afraid of hurting my feelings or being inappropriate, even though they may hurt my feelings. I want well-intentioned people to not be dishonest because they're afraid of hurting other people, and I wonder about this often in interactions with my friends.

15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?
For some perspective, as a gay slightly transgendered pro-vegetarianism/veganism (and hypocritical as I currently do eat meat) antitheistic irreligious person, I'd like to think that having had to think over these (and other) at least somewhat controversial issues has given me some perspective and wisdom.

(It might seem strange that I reference the Serenity Prayer as I describe myself as antitheistic but that just means I'm a secular humanist. I don't reject wisdom just because it came from a religious source.)


End of questionnaire. I'm an ENFP if that helps.

Be grateful I didn't attempt the optional questions xD. Thanks a lot for your considerations and input! ^^
 

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ENFP's are 7w6, almost every MBTI type will correlate to an enneagram type, but always the intuitive types. Ne dominance= core 7.
If you don't feel that fits you, then you are probably an INFP which makes you a 4w3. Remember that your MBTI type has to make sense in relation to your enneagram, you can't have two mutually exclusive archetypes for example an ENFP who thinks they are an enneagram 5; not possible since the 5 enneagram is a head type and is detached, objective, and most importantly thinking.
 

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@ohsnap, this description screams 4 to me :) And I know what I am talking about, being 4 myself. haha. We clearly see the dialectic between your core type (4) and your direction of growth (1). You are an idealist, you want to improve the world or at least that people be better than they really are. As a 4, you need to reconcile people's imperfections with your ideal (i.e.integrate grounded and realistic healthy 1). Actually, what you perceive as imperfections are part of the perfect universal scheme. It does not mean we cannot work for improving the world, but it helps accepting things as they are. Plus, I think you are a social 4 considering your strong interest for the social matters, your social status, the fact you ask yourself all the time what people think of you, etc.
EDIT: I should not be so adamant in my assertions, as you are the only one in situation to know your type. I was being a little bit too spontaneous ;-) My comment was describing the way I understood your answers to the questionnaire. It is better and more fair like that ;-)

Btw, there are ENFP 4s. They do exist, though they are the minority. Statistics have been made (thanks to J.Fudjack) and you can find them here:JavaScript Tool for Exploring Typological Space

I clearly saw Fi and Ne very quickly, but I must confess I thought you were INFP :)

As for the tritype, I have a question for you: "what are the enneatypes that feel the most alien to you? (you may have 1, 2, 3 of them in this category. None is an answer too)." I will try to narrow down the possibilities.
 
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ENFP's are 7w6, almost every MBTI type will correlate to an enneagram type, but always the intuitive types. Ne dominance= core 7.
If you don't feel that fits you, then you are probably an INFP which makes you a 4w3. Remember that your MBTI type has to make sense in relation to your enneagram, you can't have two mutually exclusive archetypes for example an ENFP who thinks they are an enneagram 5; not possible since the 5 enneagram is a head type and is detached, objective, and most importantly thinking.
6 and 7 are head types and some of them use the cognitive feeling function as a dominant function: there are 6 ESFJ and 7 ENFJ. Look at the Fudjack's statistics. Admittedly, there seems not to have T-dom 4s and F-dom 5s, which does not mean they do not exist. If they did, though, they would probably be rare.
 
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I definitely disagree on typing based on Myers Briggs; maybe some of the extraverted/introverted things hold, but overall, I say, nope!

How do you feel about type 1?
 

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Yes, enneagram 6 and 7 are also "head" types, and head not necessarily meaning head in it's stereotypical thinking (objective, linear, sequential reasoning) sense either; each triad is very distinct in how it relates to it's spectrum. When i said core 5 is thinking, i just meant that you would have to use thinking as opposed to feeling in terms of how it correlates to MBTI type, which is fairly self-explanatory. Also, in the context of what i was previously saying above about no ENFP's being core 5, i meant to say enneagram 5 being an introverted head type, as all head types use a dominant perception or thinking MBTI function. Ironically the only triad where that is the case in response to your statement about some head types using dominant feeling functions, and not that i care about statistics anyway but your Fudjack's statistics were basically congruent to everything i was and am still trying to say so.......
 

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I was actually going to say 4w3, but then I got to this:

11. Describe how you respond to the following:
a.) stress
When it comes to future events, I can generally formulate a pretty optimistic view of things, e.g. how I should/will respond to a situation and get rid of any potential sources of stress immediately that way, but then I just put it off until the event when I HAVE to worry about it, and, barely surviving, regret after the event that I didn't prepare properly. So no, I don't approach dealing with stress very well.
b.) negative unexpected change
I'm pretty optimistic and don't dwell. If it was just luck and no malice on anyone's part, it's easy to accept albeit with disappointment, even if the consequences are awful. Like oh well - what can you do?
c.) conflict
I don't break down when it comes to conflict, but I need resolution. If there is no resolution of any sort, it will be constantly nagging on my mind, because it feels like no progress has been made whatsoever.

12.
a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
I'm inclined to want to to tell others what to do if I believe it is the best way to do it, but I'm often not confident enough in my own abilities to actually direct people, and any advice I give would be laced with phrases like 'I'm not sure' or 'maybe it'd be good if..' or 'but it's up to you'. It's because I don't want others to think I'm too controlling or inconsiderate, and I don't want to screw things up.
And it completely changed my mind. 4s aren't usually optimistic and they're very past-oriented.

SOC-first sounds correct, however.

Maybe 9w1? Exploring 7w6 wouldn't hurt, either.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 · (Edited)
Wow it's been a while and I'm bad at keeping updated for things like this >< sorry but thanks for the feedback! I will consider what you guys said thoroughly :)
@Paralax2000 -
8 is definitely the most alien to me. If the person exudes a general dominating aura as I understand, it get scares me a little tbh haha. Otherwise I'm not sure if I can empathise enough with type 2.
@periwinklepromise -
I don't consider myself consistently disciplined enough to be a 1, but I'd say at this point it's probably in my tritype.
 
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