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Hey everyone! I want to share a brief background knowledge about my relationship between these two girls in order to help your understanding. I'm going to post this in other personality categories to help narrow the best decision and to understand what others think about my situation.

Lets get started :laughing:! Every Saturday I attend this program at a church (nothing religious) and have been in contact with an ISFJ girl for around 3 years now. The relationship between us is on and off, because early on when we first met (when we were much younger), she liked me but I didn't feel the same way. However, after a little less than a year of knowing her, I started to get attracted to her and we began to feel the same way. However, I wasn't sure if I was ready to make that commitment so I didn't make a move. Not long after, I went off for summer vacation and we weren't in contact for a good month or so and when I got back, I got intel from her cousins that she had a boyfriend. I was really shocked and confused because I knew she felt the same way. Later on, I found out that I made her wait too long so she moved on to somebody else.

I was still slightly attracted to her for the rest of the few years we're friends, but earlier this year I met an INFJ. We met in person and constantly texted or messaged each other after that and I really enjoyed our conversations. I began to drop my connection towards the ISFJ as my interest in the INFJ increased. We have similar interests and she understands where I go with things, but I don't know if these interests can escalate into something more. We met in person a few more times and I don't know if I feel as compatible with her than the ISFJ.

My problem here now is I can't decide between the two.. The INFJ is a great girl! I can be open about my feeling towards her and she totally understands and shares what she thinks as well, where as the ISFJ makes me figure out what she wants. I feel like she's playing mind games with me and not allowing me to know what's going on inside her head. When in person, she talks and shares what is going on with her life, but when I text her or message her, I feel as if she doesn't put effort into it. This is vice versa for the INFJ. We have great conversations through text, but when we're in person it's not as interesting and such. To conclude, the INFJ is more loyal and humble and a great personality overall, while the ISFJ can be more playful and charming and has more physical attraction. However, I don't feel as safe if I chose the ISFJ because she has had a few boyfriends within the years I've known her.

Advice/suggestions? Sorry if I confused anyone... there's more details I could have added but I didn't want this to be too long and boring for anyone.
 

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Hey everyone! I want to share a brief background knowledge about my relationship between these two girls in order to help your understanding. I'm going to post this in other personality categories to help narrow the best decision and to understand what others think about my situation.
Personally, I think that would be a bad idea. You should put this in the Advice Centre or in Sex and Relationships because I don't think this is a type thing.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Personally, I think that would be a bad idea. You should put this in the Advice Centre or in Sex and Relationships because I don't think this is a type thing.
I just glanced over the Sex and Relationships section and it seems to me that I will get better answers if I posted in specific personality sections; I can get different commentary from the same personality.
 

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Well I don't know how to resolve your specific situation but I can tell you my general strategy/experience (which is rapidly changing but here it is at the moment).

I've been living under a bit of a delusion for most of my life, longing for a long term relationship to "just happen" as many people assured me it would. I'm only just discovering my ESTP super powers (since I found out about MBTI a couple of weeks ago), but I have also gone through 2 years of advice from what I call "dating schmexperts" for some idea of how to start, and now what I do is quickly establish whether the girl will go on a date or not. I do this very quickly but politely, for example by getting to the point in the first couple of sentences. I've only just started doing it this way though, as I found it stops me from acting awkward if I move faster, even though it probably risks more. On Friday I got 2 who are "seeing someone" (which is either true or means I've failed to instantly attract them as desired, but I'll still be their friend). Also got a possible future candidate but she seemed much more attached to another guy and cleverly forgot to give me her number, but still agreed to a coffee some time. We're likely to meet again but I'm still on the lookout for other opportunities.

Perhaps because of my current 100% flunk-rate with rushing in unprepared, I now like to feel prepared or have some (at least vague) idea of what might happen before doing things nowadays. Preparation is a form of action in itself that usually has positive consequences, so it's still in line with "being myself".
I don't see how that can help me... but thanks anyways :) I have my own ways of attracting girls but the problem here is deciding which one.
 
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